On this week's episode, we're back in the pod room! We catch up on all the pop culture things from the last month and how Taylor Swift never sleeps. Colleen has picked up a new unhealthy hobby, she went to three weddings and is devastated her favorite book series is over. The topic of the week is... BRIDGET'S TRAVELS. Bridget regales us with all of her tales from Croatia, to London to a wedding in Italy. She has a new found appreciation for rugby, shaded lounge chairs and Sunday Roasts. We end with a few hilarious dating stories and a choking story neither of us will ever recover from. Whoever was driving the boat in the Boston Harbor that redirected Bridget's flight... we hope you stub your toe on every coffee table you see for a YEAR. #chokyshitter #EuropeanBathrooms #TheAbbaExperience
Review and subscribe! You can find us on Instagram @Sippinwiththeshannons or send us your stories at Sippinwiththeshannons@gmail.com. Love you, mean it.
On this week's episode, we're back in the pod room! We catch up on all the pop culture things from the last month and how Taylor Swift never sleeps. Colleen has picked up a new unhealthy hobby, she went to three weddings and is devastated her favorite book series is over. The topic of the week is... BRIDGET'S TRAVELS. Bridget regales us with all of her tales from Croatia, to London to a wedding in Italy. She has a new found appreciation for rugby, shaded lounge chairs and Sunday Roasts. We end with a few hilarious dating stories and a choking story neither of us will ever recover from. Whoever was driving the boat in the Boston Harbor that redirected Bridget's flight... we hope you stub your toe on every coffee table you see for a YEAR. #chokyshitter #EuropeanBathrooms #TheAbbaExperience
Review and subscribe! You can find us on Instagram @Sippinwiththeshannons or send us your stories at Sippinwiththeshannons@gmail.com. Love you, mean it.
That was good. You know the part of Pitch Perfect where Fat Amy does the thing? No. Which part? Do you know what I'm talking about? No. Where she, she goes to the booth and they're like, can you match pitch? No. And she's like. I just remember her. Oh my god. Horizontal running. No, and she says I do mermaid too and she lays on the ground and flicks her feet up. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's all coming back to me now. there were flashes of light. You mean the greatest song ever written? You never finish. You never finish for me, you know? When I sing though, then you get annoyed and you go, Okay, enough. When have I ever done that? You're like, I don't want you to try. Don't try. I demand you run this back. I'd like to know when. Give me times. Days and times. Do you know the beauty of a podcast? We have a footprint? We could. Did you miss me? Cause I missed you. I forgot how annoying you are. Yes, I missed you. I forgot how beautiful you were. when you walked in. I go out to my kitchen, I was on a call and she was like, I'm gonna come early to skip traffic and I'm like, yeah that's fine. So she's set up in my kitchen and I walk out. She looked at me like Jesus. I just want Cause it did. Jesus did walk through the door. I just want to look at you and smile. That's the nicest thing I'll ever say to you. Truly. Just looking up at me like a little kid in a candy store. It's just like you were glowing. Your eyes were popping. Your smile was so bright. I think it's just the freckles. My freckles are popping off. I bought a, a, uh, freckle pencil. Why? We have them. I don't know, I just wanted to emphasize them. What? Go outside. Stop putting self fucking tanner on. I'm marinating right now. I know, I can tell. Could you? I have no idea. I can only smell myself right now. No, I hugged her. And I'm sick and I can still smell myself. I hugged her and I said, Oh, your hair, like, did you put something in your hair? She's like, no. There's an oil in it. It's rosemary and mint oil. And that's marinating as well. I'm just fully marinating. And I texted From head to toe. I texted you earlier and said, I've never looked scarier. And I started laughing to myself, and everyone was like, What? Because I was at my apartment with her earlier. And I go, I just texted Bridget and said, I've literally never looked scarier. And she goes, I would agree with that. All right. yeah. Well, when you get sent home from work for looking ill, that's when you know. Yeah. That was me. That was me yesterday. so yeah, if you hear, a sniffle or a cough or something that just some sort of bodily function, like just mind your business, keep it moving and keep listening and shut the fuck up. Thank you. Rate, review and subscribe. Pop off in the comments. Why is that your favorite saying? I don't know. I really don't know. Don't forget to pop off in the comments. Smash that like button. Nobody does. It's me. I'm in the comments. It's a JoJo Siwa video. Don't bring that name in this house. Oh my god, I just have to say, I know you have to do the intro, but while we're on the topic of Jojo Siwa. Oh, I'm so glad you said that. While we're on the topic of Jojo Siwa. Sorry. But I'm focused. There was a video. Oh, Jesus. Of her. She's being interviewed, I don't know, on a fucking show. About Miley Cyrus. Oh, no. No, no, no. Oh, whatever. You have to say I'm excited to hear it. But she was on a podcast and she was talking about how wherever she was, she was like, yeah, everyone was like preparing in their own rooms. Like Kanye was to my right and Miley Cyrus is to my left and I'm like, fuck you, but whatever. And so then she's like, She's like, I really just wanted to go and see Miley and just like, pop my head in and say hello, like, I just love her. And she was like, I finally, like, I tried to go in, but security, like, scared me, so I didn't. And then she's like, eventually I went in and I was like, Hey, Miley, I'm your biggest fan, blah, blah, blah. And I, she goes, you'll never guess what Miley did. And then she turns back and she's like, Miley said, you're JoJo, right? Like, I'm a fan. Like, no, you aren't. Miley Cyrus, you are not a fan of JoJo Siwa. That did not happen. It didn't. I don't care if JoJo said it publicly. It didn't happen. As far as I'm concerned. Cause Miley's better than that. She is. She is. And she's a brunette again. Pop off, Miley. I'm loving this journey for her. Thank you. Thank you for coming. Miley, come forward with the truth. I beg of you. I can't stand alone. Miley refused to believe that you would ever side with her. How dare. Don't do this to me, Miley. And in the fight against Cho Jo. Stop. This poor girl is actually like, super fucking nice. No, she definitely is nice, but that doesn't mean she's not annoying. No, that's true. You can be nice and super annoying. Hello. She just pointed to herself. And there we have it. Oh god, it's good to be back. Uh, hi everybody. Hey! I'm sorry. I'm still on corporate hour, I guess. And welcome to this week's episode of Sippin with the Shannons. We're cousins, and usually every week we sit down, we sip on some wine, we talk some shit, we have a good giggle. I'm Bridgette Shannon. And I'm Colleen Shannon. How are ya? I'm good, how are ya? How are ya? I'm so tired. I feel like I got hit by a fucking bottle. I'm just ready to hibernate and never speak to anyone again. And why is that, Bridgette? Cause I just got back from a month in Europe. I'll hold for the tiny violins you're all fucking playing. I know, I have no reason. No, I'm, I'm very happy. My, what do you say, my cup runneth over. My gas tank is empty, but my heart is full. That's so nice and warm. Okay, before we get into our months. What? A couple things we need to catch up on. Jimmy Buffett died. Oh shit, yeah. R. I. P. Margaritaville the King. Off the rip. Yeah, I had a mark for him. Did you? Yeah. Did you wear a Hawaiian shirt? No. Because truly the best part of Jimmy Buffet concerts aren't, isn't Jimmy Buffet, may he rest in peace, are the people in the khakis, in the flower shirts, the Hawaiian shirts. It's just a vibe. It's a vibe. Off the rip brother, brother Jimmy. But also Dancing with the Stars is back. Yes, I must say like I haven't seen you in so long that I like forgot to even say that Jimmy Buffet died. Like, I thought that happened while you were here. Like my sense of time is just wrong. Are you excited about Dancing with the Stars though? Yes. I heard Ariana killed it. I haven't watched the first one. I didn't know if you wanted to watch it, so I didn't watch it. Oh, I I'll watch it with you. Okay. That was our thing for a while, so I just Don't make it fucking weird. We can watch it. Why are you being so Why are you asking me like you're asking me out on a date? We're gonna go to my couch after this. Well, I mean, it doesn't have to be tonight, you know what I mean? Oh my like, it's like whatever, it could just be like coffee or like... I don't know if you had like a new cousin, you know what I mean? Imagine I come back, I'm like, sorry I've replaced you. That's Karen. I'm like, I always knew there was something wrong with her. There was something up. She was going behind my back this whole time. Okay, but also the Huff's grip on ABC and Disney. What's that? Julian Huff. Oh, yeah. And Derek Huff. I don't know what it is. Who are they blackmailing? I don't know. What is happening? I mean, I like, I don't have an issue. Sometimes Derek gives me the ick, but. They're everywhere. But they are everywhere, but I'd rather her than Tyra. Really? Yes. Thank God. If Tyra was on, I would watch. I'm not kidding. Stop. No, I'm serious. I don't care. Why? She was so bad. We avidly talked about this. And she was such a good host on America's Next Top Model, except there was a lot of things wrong with America's Next Top Model. Oh my god, we should do an entire episode on just America's Next Top Model. Like a re watch? Like, it's so problematic, it's crazy. It's like Glee. It's so problematic. but yeah, I don't have a problem with Julianne Hoffman. No, but Glee is fake. America's Next Top Model is real life people that they're treating. Is Glee fake though? Colleen, I simply do not have the strength. Okay, you're right. Sorry. Jesus Christ. Yes, you're right. That was, the way that It's so tone deaf. So tone deaf. Uh, The Golden Bachelor is back. Or I should say it's starting for the very first time. And he's a very lovely older gentleman. He's handsome. He looks so cute and wholesome. And I'm just ready for a wholesome Bachelor season that I can actually fucking get behind. Okay. So I'm ready. Okay, isn't Chastity Charity isn't she on? Charity just finished her season. I, maybe you're thinking about yourself. I'm a nun. The belt that you're wearing. I'm a nun. I am a nun. Oh my god, this is so random. Someone threw away the key. Do you want to laugh? This might be provocative, but it was actually really funny. So Fiona's trying to mend me back to health because I'm unwell and she's trying to make us take, Apple cider, apple cider vinegar shots the other night and I was like, oh, it just smells so horrible. Like it's just terrible. And so we're like holding shot glasses. She's like fine. I'll do it with you. And I was like, this is just horrible. And she was like, Colleen, like we just rip cheap tequila and we suck dick. And I go, but, but do we? Because when was the last time you've done that? Because I couldn't tell you the last time I have. But has there been a truer statement? No. I will say too, sometimes when people are super germophobic or like won't try a certain food, I'm like, you put that man's genitals in his mouth and he hasn't showered in two weeks. Oh, a hundred percent. You can't tell me different. Yeah. That happened. I was out with my friend Victoria and she was like, that tastes disgusting. Or like refused to eat something that we were like sitting at the bar. And I, her boyfriend was next to me. I said, you put his balls in your mouth and you're going to say something like that? I don't want to hear it. What if I get a hill to die on? Like, get a grow up. You put his hairy balls in your mouth and you have something to say? I'm sorry. I'm just saying. Get a grip. But yeah, apple cider vinegar, not great, but continue. Coco Gauff won the US Open. Yes. So fucking cool she's like one of the youngest to ever do it. Coco. Fucking baddie. Baddie. It looked incredible. And her dad Is she a young, young girl? Yeah, and she was like, her dad was crying in the stands and it just was really sweet and I just, I love her. That is wholesome. Team Coco. Men thinking about the Roman Empire. What is this? We'll get into that. We'll get into that later. I have something for us. But I think it's one of those things, which I'm really here for it to die soon, preferably. Yeah. it's one of those things where like, someone out there was just like, to her, to her boyfriend, was like How often do you think about the Roman Empire? And whoever it was was probably like Every week. Why? Like, just casually. And like, men are not with the TikTok, right? Right. Majority aren't. And so then it like, became a trend, and everybody was asking their boyfriends, and all their boyfriends were like, Oh, at least once a week. Like, or at least like every day. It's crazy. It's like, but why? So the other day I went to work, and I asked the group of men. And I was just like, Hey, do you guys think about the Roman Empire? One guy said, Not a lot, but I do think about Julius Caesar and Brutus like once a week. And I was like, so that's it. Exactly, but like in what context? Yeah. And then one other guy was like, oh no, only when I'm watching like 300 or... You know, Gladiator, whatever, and Troi, and I was just like, that is wild to me. When I think of the Roman Empire, I think of two things. One is, we should totally just stab Caesar. One. Naturally. Obviously. And the other one is, that commercial for Pepsi, with like, pink Beyonce, like, Britney Spears. Yes, that's the most iconic Pepsi commercial of all time. The only thing I think of, which I should be shunned for. No, absolutely not. Those were two wonderful things. Really? Like, it's not like, you know, the importance of history, but in fact, the Pepsi commercial. Well, do you know it? Like, if you don't know the history, then how would you, why would you think about it? Because it's gladiator themed. It's like a theme. Like, that's what I would refer to like a Halloween costume. So I assume that would correlate with that time. Romans. Yes, that's correct. Yeah. Yeah, the Colosseum. They would have Gladiator. We can do an episode on it, honestly. That's kind of cool. They should bring that back. People were like out here getting murdered regularly, like a lot. So it's like the Goblet of Fire. No, because it was like a stadium of people just like cheering for murder. Yeah, so I don't love that, but like if they were like slightly maimed, that could be cool, like wrestling. Okay. I think you should just watch rugby. You know what I mean? I love rugby men. Okay. I'm a rugby girl now. I'll tell you about it. It's part of my, my recap. Taylor Swift. This bitch never sleeps. No. It is like actually wild. Do you think she like gets IVs or something? Like what is her secret? One minute she's like, here's my new album. Next minute she's out to dinner with Sophie Turner. And here's the thing I want everyone to keep in mind. When you are that rich, you are only seen when you want to be seen. Think about Beyonce. Do you see Beyonce coming in and out of restaurants? Do you think that means she never goes to restaurants? No. When you are that rich, you can organize any getaway out of any restaurant you want. When you are seen openly with Sophie Turner after a divorce, that is on purpose. When you show up at your new boyfriend's football game, Travis Kelsey, that is on purpose. What are your thoughts on that? I love it. I think it's great. I think they're both wonderful humans. Mm hmm. I'm here for it. Both attractive, both nice. I do think it's very funny that women on TikTok are saying they're boyfriends. It's like crazy. How Taylor Swift is like putting Travis Kelce on the map. Just to watch them lose their goddamn minds, like as a joke. yeah, but I love it. I'm here for it. Okay. People are like, oh, isn't it so cute? Taylor's revisiting all of her Eritor stadiums for her new boyfriend. Great pairing. Can't, no notes. You have no notes? I disagree. What do you mean? I just don't. You're not here for it? I am and I'm not. Okay, these are my thoughts. Ready? Sure. I'm here for it for her because I think that with her past couple few, like she deserves to like literally just be with someone fun and flirty and fuck around, but I don't, I don't want to be in game at all. Why? Something about him. And I, I think he's sexy, but like something's off. Oh, I could not disagree with you more. Do you listen to his podcast with his brother? Yeah, he's funny. What? What? You don't like him after listening to his podcast? No, I do, but there's just something, I just like the other brother so much better. And they're so different. I think that's what it is. Like, if he didn't have a brother and he was just like the solo one, I'd be like, yeah, cool. He's cool. But now I see it. I could see you with someone like his brother. But I love him. And when his wife was on, it was so funny. Yeah, and she's like, he's mine. Yes, yes. And she's just like, their, their banter is funny. Like, goals. I don't know. Something, something's off. I was watching someone, and when things like this happen, I feel like people come out of the woodwork with like, things from both sides past. Like, they're bringing up all of like, Travis Kelce's ex girlfriends, whatever the case may be, and his like, cringe ash dating show that he was on. Yeah. and they had him on Watch What Happens Live. With Ramona Singer, obviously. Which is the funniest fucking thing. And I forget what Andy asked him, it was like something like, you don't like about what you don't like that like a woman does or something. And his response was like something along the lines of, and I could be butchering that question but this is the end result. He was just like, when they don't give a like, oral head. Like that's what he said. And I was just like, ugh, I really just don't like that. And he was dead serious. And I just think Taylor doesn't need that end game, that's all. So this is your way of sticking up for Taylor? Yeah. I have a question for you. Yeah. Would you date someone who did not do the reverse? What do you mean? Would you not date a guy who never went down on you? Yeah, a hundred percent. I would not. Yeah. So why is it a problem if he says that? But it's not a problem if you say that. Wait, if, oh, I get what you're saying. Yes, but like either way I wouldn't say it on public television. Yeah, that's so rude. Not the best answer, but it's probably the honest one. Mm. Yeah. I guess it's just the way he went about it and I didn't like the way that he was saying. What is it called? I don't know. Just the way that he was saying it. I was like, yeah, DM'd her. I was like, you should come watch it. I just didn't like it. I don't know how to explain it. He's giving you the ick. Yes. It's not like he's doing anything wrong, but like he's really giving me the ick. Okay. Fair enough. And I just expect, more from Taylor. For Taylor. Okay. And Gabe wise. Okay. But also love that she's just like, yeah, I'm fucking around. As she should. But, and Gabe, eh. And I feel like that's a respectful answer. Not enough for us. Thank you. I just don't, I don't see it. I just don't see it. That's all. How was your month? Uh, uneventfully, I worked literally every single day at some capacity. You didn't go out one time. I mean, I definitely went out a couple times. In 28 days. I went to two weddings., No, three weddings. One of them, I went to a Chinese wedding. It was so cool. I love that. Yeah, there was so many different foods though. I was really scared. Okay, what did you order for the day? And there wasn't any forks or knives. Right. Chopsticks? Correct. It was so funny. I didn't know how to use them. So I was just stabbing things. But it was literally every single, like, animal or meat other than a human came to the table. Like, to be eaten. Yeah, but there were, it was just like so different. I don't know how to explain it. The ceiling was cool. Like, it, I felt like I was in the Vatican. And people were just like popping off. The energy was just different from a normal wedding. Really? Yes. Did you find it? Oh, it was fab. Great. Yeah. I love that. What did you end up actually eating? And they had Henny on the table. Isn't that cool? Just didn't expect that. What did I end up eating? A piece of broccoli. That's it? Yeah, I got to make chicken on the way home. Oh, God. So, we didn't, we didn't try to step outside our comfort zone a little bit. No, no, we tried, but it didn't work. Okay. Yeah. When they put the chicken head on my table, I said, I gotta go. Okay. I gotta go. But the squad was trying to get me to try it, and I couldn't do it. Okay. Someone did eat a fish eye, though. That was cool. But it was fun. Love that. The other two were just normal standard weddings, you know the deal. So just like basic American style weddings? Yeah, the usual fun and flirty weddings. Just, you know. Open bar? Uh, yeah, of course. Um,, the best thing that's ever happened to me is Aaron becoming single because I'm at her plus one, which is great. I love that. So yeah, that's how those situations came about. oh, I did have something to say. I tried ganja twice. You smoked weed? Yes. Oh. Because I was so stressed out in the middle of the month because, I was just working a lot and I just wanted to, relax. Okay. I didn't like it. Sure? That's all I have to say. Trying new things. Check. Didn't like it. Didn't like it. Well, I think some people prefer to not smoke it. Some people have a gummy and that usually, like the friends that I have that I know take it for anxiety, do more of the gummy route than the actual smoking route. I can't, I'll just never be able to get behind smoking anything. I just think it's terrible for you. Yeah, I didn't like it. It made me, it made me tweak. Well, okay, so there was two different kinds apparently. I didn't know there was two different kinds. So the first time it was like a lower kind whatever that means. I don't know. Yeah, I don't speak weak Ganji. I don't know And I did relax and we giggled me Fiona and I were like giggling along yeah, and then the next time I was like Okay, cool. We're vibing with that. I slept real good. I don't know what was in the second one We all were like in the couch and I couldn't speak I was freaking out I had to snapchat them on the couch with them and being like I'm freaking out right now Like I couldn't even say it out loud Paul and I always joke about there's this mean I, I don't know who, where the original conversation started, but we say it all the time. And basically this guy texted his friend like, Hey, took this edible, didn't feel anything. I'm going to take more. And the guy's like, no, no, no, don't like wait. And the guy just responds back an hour later. Elmo is a glove. The fuck Elmo is a glove. So is that your safe word? So my safe word is keep going. No, no, I, it's more of what we say if I type a couple wrong things and I'm just all over the, I'm just like Elmo with a glove. And it's like, oh, we get it. Yeah, just being a hot mess. Nice. Yeah, Elmo was gloved. That's when you're so high you're sinking into the couch. Yeah, I would not recommend it. It was terrible. Terrible. But I haven't gone back since, so I don't know. I'll try again. But also it helped you sleep, which is really interesting. Yeah, the first time and second time I was up till 3 in the morning freaking out. Okay, so definitely not do that second one ever again. I heard a noise and I was like, ah! Yeah, normally I'm like, eh, whatever, kidnap me. You know? That's usually my usual energy. I can't stop watching Reba. I cannot stop. I cannot stop. My reason for living in the past. Although my life is changing fast. Who I am is who I want to be. I sing my mom who works too hard, loves her kids and never stops, with gentle hands in the heart of a fighter, I'm a survivor. That was so beautiful, like, you are welcome, listener. My soul just came out of my body and was brought back in by Reba herself. The spirit of Reba lives within me. She's alive. I'm gonna be here for Halloween. So she's alive? Yeah, I know. So she's, she's God's spirit. But she shares her spirit. Okay. Got it. So shut the fuck up. Are you gonna be Reba for Halloween? Yeah, her wig is in my cart. I don't know. You're joking. Or Abby Lee Miller. I can't decide which one's funnier. Did you see my friend Ben DM us the gaba ghoul? Yes, the gaba ghoul. I was like, I'm just going to leave this here. I mean, say less. We love you, Ben. That was perfect. That was truly perfect. I laughed so hard. So yeah, I don't know what to be. Let me know what your thoughts are. Wow. Reba, or Abby, we'll do a poll. Spooky season is upon us. Spooky, spooky. The best time of the year. I also have a new hobby, and it is watching the man next door through his window, uh, ride on his, peloton. Okay. So, as far as hobbies go, I feel like it shouldn't be said, but I'm, I'm gonna say it. Peeping Tom isn't cool. I am the woman in the window. Colleen, leave that poor man alone. He's fine! Stop peeping tomming on people. He's nice and sweaty, though. Oh, good lord. You, you need to find an activity. Maybe you should pick up knitting. Ugh, I don't have the patience for knitting. Dude, imagine having to sit there and put needles through, like, holes. Like, that sounds terrible. I'd lose my mind. Maybe a healthy hobby, Colleen, that doesn't involve sweaty men. I don't know. Unsuspecting sweatiness. He wears a weird hat though, so then I'm like, oh, never mind, like, oh, something's off about it. Maybe it's because he's not trying to be in public when he's working out and doesn't realize there's a girl judging him from the, from the house next door. It's, it's dark outside and you have your lights bright on and your windows wide open. You're asking for it, brother. I am the woman in the window. I am the woman in the window. I am Joe from you. Oh no, Colleen! yeah. Don't compare yourself to a murderer, please. Remember the OG book that I was obsessed with? The what? The OG book that I was obsessed with. Lucy Hale? Lucy Hale is from Pretty Little Liars. Oh, Lucy Skor. Lucy Skor, yeah, yeah, yeah. Her final book in the series came out, and I was like, ugh, not excited about it, because the second one, like, wasn't good. Oh, boy. Oh. Oh. The Best Characters. Might be better than the first one. What? And then I, so I was so excited and, like, amped, and, like, it was just so good. It was, like, a long, a long book, too. I mean, of course, there was a cringe moment sometimes, but, like, overall, it wasn't really cringe. Was there a kidnapping, and a robbery, and a shootout? No, there was a threatening, but there was no, there was no kidnappery. There was also, spoiler alert if you're gonna read it. There was also some arson, but it Oh, good lord! They just burned a building, it's fine, dude. But, whatever. but then I was depressed because I was like, Oh, of course, I just, introduce and give a backstory to my favorite characters of my new favorite book. And then it's the end of the motherfucking series. You really think it's gonna be the end of the series? No, it is. It literally is. Yes. And I'm, of course, on book talk because I'm unwell. And people are, like, crying about it being, like, The end to knock'em out, like B and then like putting'em on the bookshelf. And it's so upset. The fact that the town is called it knock'em out. I just let it, let it happen. Knock'em out. Is the name of the town You know what? No. You know what? We all need some. I'm sorry. I have to associate. Yeah, no, we all need mindless shit to read that. It's just so i e and the way I wept, I had hives. Oh. Like, what is wrong with me? I also watched P. S. I Love You. Couldn't stop. Okay, you texted me one day. I forget what day it was. It was right after you left. I don't know, a couple weeks ago. And you were like, you told me to watch P. S. I Love You, right? And I was like, no. Nope. I have a list of ten other rom coms you can watch. Like, ten things I hate about you. But, P. S. I Love You isn't even number twelve on the list, to be honest. Okay. Because I knew you would get emosh, and I knew it was too many feels. And you watched it anyway. And how do you feel now? Like she goes back to Ireland to like reunite, like re She sings karaoke, that slow ass song. It's so depressing. I cried the whole time. Yeah, of course you did. It was not cute. No! Didn't like that. Yeah. I don't like to unlock those feelings. I figured. So yeah, that's the only update I have for those things. That's it. We're scraping here. The bottom of the barrel is being scraped. So that's that about that. Oh, I'm dying my hair next week. What color are we going with either a dark probably a dark reddish brown just for fun a reddish brown But if I don't really like love the red and it fades quickly, I'll just go dr. Dark brown. Okay Yeah, I have to do something with mine, too. I like your light journey my light hair journey. Yes I don't know. It's very unlike me a part of me wants to go back to my my roots pun intended Didn't even mean to do that. I don't know my I just think that's so new and that's perfect for you I'm new and I'm fresh. Yeah, it's fun and it's flirty and it's different. Okay. So, keep that. Enough about me! Tell me about you and your Janice! No, seriously, tell me about it. You haven't told me anything, which is so rude. I gave you a month apiece. The way in which she just had to sit and think to herself and get some thoughts out before we got here. I'm going to cut this so you're going to hear a seamless process. But let me just tell you the detour we took for her brain. And we're here. We sat down and she goes Were the Jewish the first people on the planet? That was a fair question. Weren't they here before Jesus? Did you say Hebrew? I think you might have said Hebrew. No, I said Jewish. I'm not good enough to use fancy words like Hebrew. I was saying Fancy words like Hebrew! Colleen, that's not a fancy word. I won't lie, earlier That's like saying Spanish. Earlier, I was holding in the word tone the term tone deaf just to see if you'd be like, Oh, Colleen! Tone deaf? I thought you'd be impressed. So I was looking at you like this. When you said nothing I was like, fuck. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll react more to it. No, no, it's fine. I was deserved. I'm just saying, like, just know that that was my thought process. Okay, good. Uh, I had the most wonderful time on the planet. Just a trip for the books. I mean, I know I come back and I say that all the time, but... It was wonderful. My only shitty moments were at airports. Ugh. People are so confused, and honestly, I consider myself pretty well traveled at this point. There are no signs, like, even I was confused. And I was like, how do older people do this? Or how Stop, I'll cry. So on the way to Croatia, I was going to a small town, and I had to take a flight from Boston to Paris, Paris to an airport in Croatia called Zagreb, and then a taxi to a bus, a two hour bus, and then a taxi from the bus station to where we were actually staying. So of course when you look at that The plane trains and automobiles. I'm worried about the second half of that journey. The taxis and the buses and I've never done that before. I'm, I'm a, you know, one stop most. I love a direct flight. I don't do the whole like taxi, bus, taxi thing. Worst part of the trip was Boston to Paris. Doesn't even come close. Everything else was completely smooth sailing. What the hell? Charles de Gaulle, if I could shoot an airport into the sun, it would be the Paris airport. This fucking place. But they essentially said, we're not going to transfer your luggage over because it's not the same airline. So you have to go through customs, go pick it up and then recheck your bags, which is not uncommon. So say if you were coming back from Italy, right, and you have a layover in Atlanta, Georgia, you would have to do that because you're back in the country and you have to go through customs when you get back to the U. S., right? But I wasn't sure. I was like, just tell me what to do. And they were like, yep, you, the stewardess was like, yep, go pick it up before you go to Croatia. Okay. I go down there and it's not there. And for two hours I run around sweating. Now it's 3 a. m. in the morning to me. And for some reason I did not sleep on this flight. It's like the only flight I've never slept on. And for whatever reason, no one will help you. And when you leave the baggage area, there's this like plain glass thing that blocks you so you can't get back in. And so I run around and I go back upstairs to the departures to like the ticket desk and I'm like, I need your help. She sends me back down. She's like, no, no, no, there's a phone on the wall. And you pick it up and a guy will come up and help you. What? So I wait in line. No, no signs anywhere that show you where the phone is. I wait in this line. I pick it up and this very angry French man was so annoyed by me. It was like, what? He lets me come back in. He's like, you didn't look at the right place. I look around. I leave again because he won't help me because I went back to him and I was like, I didn't find it. And I, he shrugged and I said, is there somewhere else I need to go? Is there a counter? And he said the exits over there. I went back up to the departure desk, and I asked the same woman, and she came down and she was like, I'm coming with you this time. Oh! Ripped this man a new one in French. As, as she fucking should. And when they let me back in, the counter I had to go to was next to him. He literally could have just been like, go over there. But I took Delta, and the counter you're supposed to go through has Air France on it. Well, how would I know to go to the Air France counter if I went through a Delta flight? It, like, it just didn't make, they took my luggage. They put it to the next flight. I can't. So after all that, I ended up being in the wrong gate, and she was like, Oh, you need to be in gate E, and you need to take a bus that has an N on it. And I was like, how the fuck were you supposed to know that? And she goes, and it's right there, you need to run to go grab that. So what ended up being like a four to five hour layover where I was just gonna hang and probably sleep was me running around sweating for four or five hours. I was so stressed. So anyway, after that, completely smooth sailing. Got to Croatia, the bus was air conditioned, I got the seats to myself, and it had Wi Fi. Pop off. I just, like, hung out, took a little napski, and then, when I got there, my friend Maria, all my girlfriends were there, so it was Drea, Maria, Sajor, and Alyssa, and Maria had done a full Sunday roast. Have you ever had a Sunday roast? Like a true English Sunday roast? No, of course not. Oh. My. God. Colleen. They do this every Sunday, and it's Thanksgiving but better. Oh. Because it's not turkey, it can be chicken, it can be pork, and it's like mashed potatoes and Yorkshire pudding or it's usually roasted potatoes and Yorkshire pudding and green beans and tons of gravy and it's so yummy and she home cooked it, it took her like six hours. And so when I got there, they were like, would you like some white wine in a full Sunday roast? I was like, yes, I would. Yes, indeed. I would. And then we went on a boat and we swam all day, happy as a clam. It doesn't get better than that. No, it does not. And the water is like crystal clear. Oh, it's just, it's beautiful. So Strato in Croatia, uh, these girls are the girls that I met in South Africa in Cape Town a couple months ago. Yeah. We split, uh, apartment because Drea's family, you know the ones I stayed with in New York, I once was shocked. I saw Jordan Peele on Father's Day. I stayed with her family. They're actually from Croatia. Oh! So we split an apartment like 15 minutes away from them. Okay, that's nice. So we like got to see the island with them and they took us out to dinner. Oh my god, they take us out to dinner and I really have to pee. Okay. And they bought everything. Like it was a really nice dinner. They treated us. They did not have to. Oh, that's nice. We're at a very nice restaurant. All the girls. I run downstairs to pee. Woman's room is always, always occupied. Like women, what, I get it. You're very pretty. Can you please leave? Some of us are just trying to do our business in GTFO. A hundred percent. This is the night I have a bright yellow dress on. So I'm like, I gotta use the men's room. Not only do I come out and there's a full man using the urinal and I just duck my head down and run for it. The entire door handle comes off in my hand and then I'm like, what? They take us to this lovely restaurant. And I break the door to the men's bathroom. You used... So I, going up the stairs, just put it down on the stairs. I mean, what else would one do in that situation? And I went, and I sat at dinner, and I was really quiet. And they were like, what's up? And I was like, nothing. And then about 20 minutes later, I said, You guys, I have something to tell you. I broke the men's bathroom. And they were like, what? Her parents thought it was so funny. I was like, I'm sorry, I'm unwell. In my defense... They went back a couple weeks later with family and the girl's bathroom handle broke. So that, that establishment, Justin needs help. I mean, right off the bat, it didn't sound like a you problem. It didn't sound like you did something wrong. Thank you, Colleen. Thank you. Uh, but no, just beautiful, stunning, at the beach every day. Literally, like, wake up, because I now work later in the day, so you wake up, you walk down a hill, you sit on the beach all day, we read, we listen to music, we walk back up and we work and we go to bed. That's gorgeous. Every single day. It just was perfect. Croatian Queens. And you know what I love about Croatia? Two main things. Number one, it is more embarrassing to be pale than be chubby. Everyone's rolls are out. Everyone's bodies and titties and ass, everybody's out. No one gives a shit. No one gives a shit. There's just like in Europe, nobody cares what, about bodies. Oh. Everyone's just out there trying to be tan. And I can get behind that. Titties, everywhere. Okay. On a beach, turn around, flaccid penis, right there. Oh, they're nude? Just out and about. The joy in your eyes. So yeah, there are nude beaches everywhere, so, and they're usually attached to a public one. So, Dre would be like, okay, we're going to this, you know, the public beach, obviously. But if you walk like ten minutes that way. And a guy just turned around and I was like, oh, that's a dick. That's a whole ass dick. but everyone's topless. It's great. It's like nobody cares. It's like, yeah, another thing. They have these chairs. Okay. So say you're laying down in a sun chair. There's a shade built into the top. And if you just flip it up, it covers your face and your upper body if you want it to. That's nice. I could lay out all day as long as my face is covered. I loved it. Loved it. Wow. No notes. No notes. Uh, we got Thai massages one day, cause it was so cheap there. Oh. So, one hour was like 40 bucks. What the fuck? Yeah, it's not real. So we went in, and I've never gone to a Thai massage before, and if you have... This woman. Did they fuck you up? Fucking beat me across this table. I was flailing around. Shut up. She kicked the shit out of me. So was it not relaxing? So parts of it were. At one point though she was like Karate chopping me and I was just like And then she started massaging my boobs. And I was like that that's not usually how that works. I wasn't like apparently that's totally normal I'm gonna do your butt your stomach and your boobs. Okay, but like wasn't expecting it And so next thing, you know Betty and Boop are out. Okay having a time I mean, I wasn't, it wasn't like, Uncumf. I, yeah, I wasn't like, whoa, you've crossed a line. Like, it was very clear like that's how it goes and I was just unaware. Oh my god. I feel like a rub of the stomach would make me so uncomfortable. Yeah, I, I didn't love, there was something about having the towel. Or the blanket all the way down to my hip. Yeah. And I was like, oh, this is weird. I think it's just, you know, not my norm. If you ever go get a massage, that's not how that normally works. And at one point, I thought she was saying, like, you're all set. And I was like, okay. And I didn't do anything. She said, no, sit up. And I was like, Oh, okay. So my back is sitting straight, like, right. My legs are flat out. Okay. So I'm sitting like a teddy bear. Yeah. I was sitting like a teddy bear. Yes. And she goes up, she nails behind me and puts her elbows into my shoulders, like on the top and just leans in and I'm like, Oh my God, my chiropractor is going to be pissed. Next thing I know. She flings my body forward like when you're stretching and you're trying to touch your fingers to your toes And then she pulls my body all the way back So I'm almost laying flat on top of her with my arms straight out Like she put me from full to my toes to open I don't know how to say this like I went from this to this. Oh my god, oh my god, like a Venus flytrap, but the opposite way right from closed to open Damn. the first time she did it, it took me by surprise, so I giggled and then she did it again and I outwardly laughed. And then in my ear she went, last one, and I lost. I couldn't keep it together. And so yeah, that was my first Thai massage. I giggled and got the shit kicked out of me and my boobs flopped out. That was, it was honestly hilarious. We went to a bar one night, okay? This was the one night in Croatia I, I just lost the plot and just went all out. Are Croatian men cute, is my random question? Yeah! Yeah, I would say so. We go to this bar, and we're watching the football game, aka soccer game. Right? It's Croatia against, I don't even know who, Croatia won. It was great. Cool. So we're all at this bar We're with Drea's friends from Croatia. It's so much fun. And all I can see is this man going from inside the bar Walking outside, doesn't work there, walking outside and giving people toast and after he does that he gives everybody a high five Like a piece of toast? A piece of toast. Okay. And, he didn't bring a toaster, and he clearly doesn't work there, so this man brought a loaf of bread, pre toasted, and he's putting something on it and giving it out to the people at this bar. And they're all high fiving him, and they're joking, and they're eating it. And so everyone's watching this game, and all I can do is watch this guy. He does it for, like, an hour and a half, back and forth, not all of the time, but like every ten minutes or so comes out with new toast. And I just couldn't. What the fuck? I couldn't stop. I was like, what is going on? Who is the man with the toast? I keep bringing it up. Everyone's like, we don't care. We're watching the game, right? I'm like, I gotta go find out a couple of glasses of wine in. I gotta go find out. I, you are going to be so fucking horrified. I go into this bar, right? And I see him on my left and I just say, can I have a piece of toast? Like just seeing what he would do. The last piece he has is the crusty end piece. He takes a Tupperware container he's brought from home and a plastic spoon and it's almost empty and he scrapes the sides of it and stuffs the spoon into my mouth Tuna Tartare. I'm so sick. Colleen? Colleen, could you eat it? And then was like, what is this? There is a video of me at the end of this where he high-fives me, and I am in complete disbelief as I who hate seafood, realize there is take home container, tuna, tar tar in my mouth at a bar off of a spoon in a Tupperware container that's probably been sitting there for hours. Where was the toast? I, oh, he was, it was gone. Oh, he gave me the piece of toast on the side, but it wasn't enough to spread it. So I thought he was just gonna put it on the bread. So he just went like, zoop! So he just gives out tuna tartare on toast for fun? Apparently! Apparently. That is his fun little side hustle. And he likes to just... Was anyone paying him, or were we just paying him in high fives? Nope, they were just like, oh my god, cool, snacks! So I thought I was getting peanut butter. Guess what, everybody? I wasn't. What if people did that here? Imagine... The horror. The horror. We will post it. And you know, you were like fighting, like not wanting to be rude. So you were like, not gonna be like, ew, that was disgusting. I was just like, mmm. And that's what you get for asking a stranger about toast. Yeah, and you know what? And that's how curiosity literally killed the cat because I'm never gonna be curious about anything ever again. If you see a man giving out toast at a bar, you mind your fucking business. You just mind your goddamn business. And then that night I, I pussy popped so hard that my brain nearly fell off and I was in the cab. Sweet Maria. I fucking love Maria so much. We were, I stayed with her an extra week. It was just the two of us. Andrea's obviously going back to her family home. And Maria orders us a cab. I was like, I gotta go. That's when you know if Digit is like, it's time to go, it's time to go. In the cab, the cab driver had AirPods in. And all of a sudden I kind of like, I had an exorcism. And he took his AirPod out and he was like, is she okay? And Maria was like, you good? And I was like, yeah, what? What is it? What's wrong? Is something wrong? I'm fine. What about you? Just the left seat. Yeah. Just... Anyway. So, finish up our time in Croatia. Maria is actually from the UK, we fly to London together and we're actually meeting up with her dad. Her dad decided to take a train into the city to meet her so they could watch their favorite sports team together. He sat at a bar and ordered us food because by the time we would get there, the kitchen would close. So, that's it. I know. I know. And he was so lovely. He was such a hoot. But how fucking weird is this? I've only been to the UK one time. I've been to London one other time. It was for New Year's, which I'll tell you about in a second. And my call trends went to London and we were so jet lagged. We got there like 6 a. m. And like most hotels or Airbnbs, they don't open till 2. So from 6 to 2, you're just fighting for your life. You're just so tired. And we were sitting in this bar and I just remember being like, when I'm older. I'm just going to pay like the extra 100 bucks to get one more night of the Airbnb so you can just check in right away and go to sleep. Like the fighting through the day thing just sucks. We meet her dad at the bar and I walk in and it's the bar we had jet lag in. No way. I'm not. I walked in and I was like, Oh my God, this is the bar we were tired of. This is the exact place I was just talking about. And then I looked it up and we were. I was 600 feet away from the apartment we got the first time, and I had no idea. That's so odd. How big is London? Isn't that so weird? Huge! Okay. Huge! Like New York City huge. Damn. I knew I was in the same neighborhood because that's why I picked the neighborhood because I was like, oh, I actually, I kind of know my surroundings. We were there for like six days. I was like, I kind of remember that. How weird is that? That is weird. All the bars of all, we literally walked in. I was like, oh my God, there were red couches. I know exactly where I am. That's crazy. Yeah. How many years ago was that? 2018 to 19. It was that New Year's. Oh, damn. Five years ago. Damn. So wild. So anyway, we meet her dad. He is lovely. He ordered me some sausage and mashed potatoes with gravy. Bless him. We have some drinks. We go to bed. The next day I meet up with my Mexico, Belize, and Guatemala trip friends. We saw Mamma Mia on the West End. Wow. And I texted Colleen and was like... When you see what I'm doing today, you are gonna shit. Are you mad at me? I did not shit, but I did squeal. Are you mad at me? No, of course not. I would never be mad. I'm always happy for ya. Okay, so it was absolutely stunning. It was everything and more that you could ever want. They even came back out at the end and re sang Mamma Mia. Dancing Queen, and then all of the guys and girls came out in their outfits and did Waterloo. Colleen, you would have died. I love Waterloo. However, we're going back because we're gonna do the Mamma Mia experience. This is, it's like hundreds of dollars. I don't care. We have to go do it. Okay. It's a dinner and dancing night where they just play ABBA the whole time and they basically do the musical in front of you, but you can sing with them. And it's like a dinner and show experience. I would love to do Voulez Vous on the tables. They said it, it sells out every single night, and people are obsessed with it. So we're going to London, essentially. Okay. See you there. But it was just, they really treated me. Like, they showed up and they showed out. They knew I only had a day with them, and they just came to party. We went, had boozy brunch, then we saw Mamma Mia, and then we went to Spoons, which is this thing in the UK, and then we went to a pizza place, and then we went to a piano bar, and they tipped the guys so that they would sing Celine Dion, and they're just the best people on the planet. I like, cannot believe I met them less than a year ago. I want to see them forever and always. Sweet baby angels. Just to take a corny moment, like a year ago. I didn't know the South Africa people and I didn't know any of the Central America people and now I'm traveling and spending all this time with them and it's just, I'm just really glad I did all those solo travels because now I have core memories with a group of people you didn't know a year ago. Yeah, and just like friends all over the place and like, hey I'm gonna be in London for the weekend, who wants to hang? And five people show up and they're like, let's go out in the town, like, let's do this! And it's just, stonin Stonin Iconic. Simon. Mm hmm. They're, I, oh my god, I think they get married this weekend. Oh! I think they get married tomorrow. Oh my god, I must text them. they love the pod, they listen every week. Hey! Also Tori and Emily, I love you too. But yeah, I had a, such a wonderful time with them. The next day, we go out, we have a full Sunday roast. Okay. Again. I can't get enough of them, I want them all. My friend, Lucy, brings me. To watch the rugby game. Okay. The English rugby game. I want to be smothered by these men. I want to be suffocated. If you are related to me, please skip ahead. I want my back blown out by these men. I want them to take their thighs and, and take me down. I want to be Like a bear. I want them to throw me through a wall. I want them to break my whole bed. I haven't seen you have this much passion about something in a while. I cannot. And not only this, so we're watching it. She brings me to this like fan zone in downtown London. And in it are all these like little bars and restaurants you can go up and grab food. And then they have these picnic tables and this big projector screen so everyone's watching the game together. I shit you not, two Love Islanders walk in. I nearly passed out. For anyone who watches, and it's the season I just watched. Oh. Season 9. Which is from the winter. I watched out of order season nine. It was Tom and Casey. They're best buds They walked in from the back of Tom's head I was like, I think that is Tom and then Casey turned his head and someone's like, oh my god That's Tom and Casey nearly shit myself. Were they like like fangirling too, or is that like something that they're just like, oh yeah, that happens? No, they're just like, that happens. Two tables over from me. Perfect view of their faces. Did you say hello? No! I don't know. I was starstruck. I didn't want to go over there and look like a, a little, you know. American twat? Yeah. Yeah, I know what you mean. Do you mean? I'm sure they get girls like flinging themselves all the time. Like, I'm fine. I'm fine. But rugby, fully in. One of them was vaping though, which I hate. Oh. Okay, London. Big ick. Huge vapers. I mean, they're big vapers here too. They're huge smokers, but like. Vaping every which way to Sunday. I can't stand when I look over like driving on 93 and people are just like vaping in their car. Yeah, gross. Get a grip. And someone said it's actually worse for you than smoking. Yeah, probably. Gross. Also, like, when I see teenagers on the street, like, vaping, I'm like, have you even gotten your period yet? I'm just wondering. Do you still shop at Abercrombie? Fuck off. They're making a comeback. People my age, we shop in there. Yeah, I, I just realized that. But also like, I can't do it. I can't get through that because I just have trauma from when I was younger that I just can't, can't cross that barrier. The shirtless men in the dark, dark rooms and how your jeans were at the very, very tippity top and you had to ask one of those shirtless men to go get it for you. No, I never even had those experiences. The scent. Oh, I like, I still like the smell. The scent. I like the smell. No, you don't. No, I do. I swear. It made me want to shower. It's like Axe body spray on steroids. It's like classier Axe. It smells good. The popped collars. I can't. The hollister was disgusting. The puka shell necklaces. No, they, they retired those. Let us never forget. We shall never forget. Next up, I flew to Italy and I went to Capri, which is an island off of Naples in the Amalfi Coast. Italian men. Okay, I might need a shower. I have never been hit on more in my entire life. I am talking walking down the street and being chased in a good way, not in a creepy way. Mm hmm. Running up to us. Like, you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Now, of course, they probably do this to every American that they've ever seen. I'm not thinking I'm special. Oh, shut up. You are. It was wild. It was wild. I'm sitting down at a restaurant. Our waiter comes up to us. And he takes our order. And then he was just like, I just want you to know, men like us, we can't say no to anything that a beautiful woman requests. And I want you to know. Any request that you have, I will personally make sure it gets taken care of. Like, what? And I was like, a still water will be okay? Like, what? The bull There is a family next to me! What the a grandma next to me! Like, a foot rub. I just want a water and a pizza. Like, what? Everywhere you go, they love American women. Also, everyone on the island is the honeymooners, so they're probably not used to single American women. So, go e pray your love to Capri and, you know, find your way on an Italian man's boat. It's really that easy. Interesting. Noted the Honeymooners. All American. The photoshoots. The Instagram photoshoots. I must say, in the time that you were there, I knew three people on their honeymoons in the same location. Yes. It was insane. One day we were sitting on the beach and we were just people watching. There were seven photo shoots going on at the same time with these husbands having to get a hundred and fifty different pictures. And then girls would come in and they all wanted the same shot in front of the same rock and there were six of them. So they were just like rotating and then they would look at them and they would be like, No, you can't, you can't. And I was like, this is giving me such a bad ick. Yeah. Now here's the thing. If you go somewhere, I take tons of pictures. I'm gonna keep posting them. I love taking pictures. It's more of like, enjoy it, take the picture that you feel good about, and then move it along. Like, enjoy where you are. You, they literally, some of them just came to the beach to get that photo. Do it for 25 minutes and then are like, okay, let's go and I'm like, look at where you are right now. This place is insane. Be in the moment. It just felt very Instagrammy, you know, and so one day I'm on the beach and I'm explaining to my friend Lucy who I just would travel to hell with. She's the best. And we actually one night we were talking about, women who pretend like they don't remember how dating was when they've been in a relationship for like two months and they're like, that sucks. I'm so sorry for you. And she's like, bitch, the bench is still warm with your ass. That's what she said. That's funny. I was like, love that. Lemons everywhere. Such an aesthetic. Love. It's working. Too many stairs. Too many fucking stairs. They don't have any, escalators? No. Fighting for my life on the daily. Fighting for my life. It's one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. I do not understand how old people go there. It is the most inaccessible place ever. Like, unless you are willing to walk 300 steps a day, you're done for. Period. Everything's on a hill. Everything. Are they all really skinny? No. Oh. Okay. No. Wait, do you mean the people visiting or the people who live there? The people who live there. Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah. I feel like you'd have to be if you had to walk that many stairs. It's so, people were, I'm not kidding you, there's like this one walk down to the main beach and on the way up is crazy. On the way down, you run into like eight different people who are stopping to breathe. And I went in September, imagine it in July. No. I would never. Burr. Never, ever, ever. No. And Italians are like, Oh, it's a capo d'amore. It's a capo d'amore. And it's like 350. And you're like, They told Lucy there was a 45 minute hike. It was three hours. Three hour hike. Did she go on the hike? She went on the hike, and she doesn't have data. She's like, I'll meet you at the beach at 1. 1 15, 1 30, 1 45. I'm like, what the f if she got fucking hurt, and she doesn't have data, I and I texted her and I was like, getting a little worried, like, what the fuck am I gonna do? She showed up at 2 15 and she was like, I am so sorry. It was Nearly four hours long. I would actually perish. I got a pedicure and then went to the beach, so... Sounds like... I mean, there are buses that take you, but you have to, you pay and then you wait in a little line, and it's a bus that only, it's super small buses because the roads are super tight, so they can't take a ton, and they come every ten minutes, so you could be at the back of the line and wait thirty minutes for the third bus. Right. So you can do that, you can walk, or every 25 euro, even if it's a two minute drive. 25 euro. Which is like 30 bucks. So people are walking. So people are either walking, waiting, or paying a shit ton. Which brings me to my point of most people who go to Capri are just paying a shit ton. And they don't ever have to walk because they're constantly getting cabs everywhere they go. Shout out Leo DiCaprio who visits there all the time. Yachts everywhere. Everywhere. Just plopped in the water. Stopping for the day, letting people swim, and then they take a little boat so they can come in and go to the restaurants and do the shops. Fancy ass shops, like HiHi and Prada, like all the, yeah. Yeah, fancy. Very expensive. I did not realize. I was like, I just wanted pizza, honestly. And I wanted to see a lemon tree. That's... That's what I came for. That's all I wanted. Okay. So leave Capri, did that for five days, go to Sorrento for two of my best friend's weddings. Jesse and Oren. So Jesse and Oren, I'm going to give you their meet cute because it's just fantastic. Five years ago, 2018. Mm hmm. In the end of August, me and my girlfriends go on a trip to Croatia. We do a big girls trip. We plan for it years in advance. and we do, we sail Croatia. It's like one of the most incredible things I've ever done. And I feel like I say that a lot, but I really mean it. Sailing is just nuts and we sailed to islands throughout Croatia so you would wake up and you would just be on the water and they let you swim and then you would pull into port at night. We'd go out all night, get back on the boat and do it all over again. It just was insane. So much better than busing places. So right at the beginning of the trip, we're in this place called Split, Split, Croatia. Very, very popular. Second or third night, we walk into a bar. Right? Fabrics. A bunch of boys walk in. Like five of them. Mmm. Yummy. They're from the UK, and they're on holiday. They're on a boys trip. And our group meets their group, and half of them hook up. Naturally. It was just like a, it, we all just hit it off right away. And throughout the whole night, Orin is like, This is my future wife, Jessie. This is my future wife, Jessie. And one of his friends, Spencer, actually fake married them in a bar with like, Flo Rida or like Pitbull playing in the background. Like, jokingly. Mhm. So that night we're all walking back and everyone's pretty drunk and I'm like, okay I'm just gonna ask the girls if like everyone's okay with this I just don't want anyone making a silly decision or just not feeling safe So I make I sit the boys down and I go you all wait here I'm gonna check in with the girls if any of them say no you you gotta fuck off Yeah, and if they say yes, then hey you have have your fun, right? They sit down on the curb, they link arms, they cross fingers, and they, like, jump and wait as if they're waiting for, you know, the shootout goal for the Bruins. Like, they're sitting and their heads are down and they're giving each other pep talks, and I go up to the girls and we do a huddle and they're like, Yeah, we're good. Like, we're ready to go. And I was like, great. So I turn around and they're looking at me and all their fingers are crossed and I just give them one quick, nod, like a shark, into the air, feet off the ground, high fiving each other, hooting and hollering. It was, it was hilarious. So Oren and Jessie got married and that was the night they met. I love that. And it was, it's just so crazy to be part of that first night with all these people. And so, that year, for New Year's, we went to London and we saw them again, and that's what I was just saying when I was super jet lagged. We saw and we got to hang out with a bunch of them again. And so they get this villa in Sorrento and they're like, hey, whoever can come, we're gonna get married in this villa on a friggin mountain in Sorrento. Oh my god. And it was the whole crew. in Spencer, the one who married them in a bar with Flo Rida playing in the background, actually married them. That's so cute. Full circle. It was just beautiful. Like, it just was like a reunion. We all know each other. We're all staying in the same house. There was a pool. There was a brick oven pizza and Oren's amazing brother and wife. They like, All the boys got in and they homemade the sauce and the dough. He homemade the dough. How the fuck do you even do that? Like, letting it rise in the fucking fridge. With yeast! With yeast! And they got all the toppings and they made us a bunch of homemade pizzas while the sun set. I mean, it was like something out of a goddamn fairy tale. Divine. But the first night we get there, and the reason why, one of the things I want to tell you about this. First night we get there, everyone's pretty jet lagged. We're all trying to get settled in this big house, and we end up missing our dinner reservations. And one of Oren's sisters is like, There's actually a pizza place down the street. You should walk to it. Walk over. Vito's. We get there. And this two older married couple, Gotta be grandparents. Stop. Are running this little... Vito's Pizzeria and it's attached to like a little store, like a convenience store. Not prepared for 20 people to show up at all. They come out with some of the best pizza I've had in my whole life. They were the loveliest humans. We got all the wine out of the store. They're clean out. They're cleared out. They need a whole ass shipment. We got all the wine. They gave us limoncello, they let us hook up to their speakers, and they did limbo with us. Couldn't speak a lick of English, blowing us kisses. It was, it ended up being in like, me and Lucy were talking about sliding doors, and it's basically a fancier way of saying when one door closes, another door opens. It's like, It things are supposed to have to happen exactly when they're supposed to meet that couple and eat that pizza and have that limoncello Would you limbo with them? I was gonna say we could have gone into the city and sat down and had this nice meal we walk down the street we meet these amazing people and we Pop off and have their limoncello and limbo and it just was it was wonderful It was in their wedding day was beautiful I honestly cannot say enough Wonderful things about this trip, like, top to bottom. No notes. The only thing is, I packed like an idiot. I packed like a 60 pound suitcase and it was just so dumb. And if you're a traveler, if you are on the go a lot and you're going to as many destinations as I did that aren't known for, you know, fucking elevators, you pack super light so you can like pick up and go. But the wedding threw me off packing wise because I wanted to bring options. London I thought would be colder than Croatia and Italy so I packed colder options like jeans. I didn't need jeans. I didn't need jeans. Why, Bridget? I mean, jeans are versatile. You could need them in any weather. It was so heavy. London was beautiful. I, the only weekend in London that was like absolutely stunning in high 70s ever. but I packed like an idiot, but it ended up coming in handy because my friend, one of my best friends, Jill, forgot her dress and her backup dress. And she was freaking out, and I was like, well, I brought three. Tries on one, fits her like a glove. I'm like, you, you have to keep it. Honestly, this looks fabulous on you. So I'm like, great, I have two other ones. My other favorite breaks while I'm being zipped into it ten minutes before the wedding. And I'm like, oh my god. Oh my god, so I wore my, my back up to the back up to the back up. I love the back up to the back up Yeah, it's a, it's a really pretty color. I wasn't expecting you to wear it, so it kind of threw me off. And I was very swollen by the time I got my ass into it. After a month of cheese, but... Hi. in wine, but it just was stunning. All of Orin's family, all of his guy friends, all of our friends were together. It was just very, like, I'm sad. Like, I feel like I miss them. Yeah, I miss them. I was explaining to my mother and she's like, it sounds like you went to summer camp. I'm like, yeah, in Sorrento, Italy in a goddamn villa. It's just, it is just not real life. In the very last day, we were supposed to go on a boat tour and the guy was being a dick and he canceled on us. And so we walked around and I was like, we're just going to find a new boat. And we called some places and we found one and we ended up doing this absolutely stunning sunset cruise that I will literally never, ever, ever in my life forget. And it was probably one of the biggest highlights of my month. period is is that boat cruise and we got to swim in the water is like It's I was saying it was sapphire and then this girl Samantha said it perfectly. She's like it's like the blue powerade Mm hmm. It's like a dark crystal blue. Like I don't know. It's not Caribbean blue though. It's like this It's absolutely stunning. So we're listening to this music, whatever The end of the night, we're going back to Sorrento because we went around Capri and back to Sorrento to the coast. You can literally see Capri in the background of all of their venue pictures. It's not, it was a 25 minute ferry. So it's like right there. So we're on this boat, you're gonna die. And we start to hit some pretty big waves. Oh god. And it starts to get crazy, okay? To the point where the people who are sitting on front of the boat are soaked. They're like, we have to get, like, my poor friend Hitch covered, covered in water. Also, shout out Hitch. Loves the pod. Hey, hey Hitch. Hey, hey, hey. But he comes back and he's just soaking wet. It gets to the point where I have to pee. We've been drinking all day. Like, your girl's gotta pee. There's no bathroom? There is a bathroom. Okay. So, I go to go to the bathroom, and I am in a one piece. Oh no. So I have to get naked. Yes, obviously. Or you could just push it to the side a little bit. So I should have done that. I do that sometimes. Cause that's what you do if you're a female and you're in a one piece, you get it. I wouldn't do that in a romper, but in a one piece bathing suit, for sure. Oh, I do that in rompers. That's what I meant, I thought you meant like a one piece. Oh! You do that in rompers? Yeah, if there's enough room. So you piss on yourself. No, no, I don't if there's enough room. I mean, if it's tight down there, obviously not. But like, if there's enough room for me to pull it to the side. For my pool shorts on? Yeah. No, no, why would I wear shorts under a romper? No, the romper are the shorts, honey. Oh, yeah! If it's loose enough, I can just, to the side. But lucky for me, I have body dysmorphia, so I buy things too big for me. So like, I could do, do buy things like, 14 XL. And I'm like, Colleen, I don't know what you think you look like, but that doesn't fit you. My mom reminds me every time I see her. I'm like, I don't care. I just push it to the side. As long as my poutine lips are out, it's fine. The Poussoir. The Poussoir is free. So I go into this bathroom, okay? I'm just really struggling with bathrooms on this trip. Yeah, it's okay. I essentially crawl to it, go to go to the bathroom, and we hit a wave. And when I tell you, I fucking ragdoll. I ricochet. I kept saying to them after, I would never want a dashboard cam of this. If there were, I would go viral. I pissed on every corner of that fucking bathroom. I marked my chair. Like, there is not one area, nook or cranny, of that bathroom that was safe. I had no control. While peeing? While peeing. I tossed, the lid of the toilet goes one way and the seat goes the other. The toilet fucking shot in two different directions as I'm being tossed around naked ragdoll style. It's giving her on the Apollo. I Colleen, if you could have only seen this, just visualize it. I'm sure it was worse. I was laughing so hard my jaw and stomach hurt the next day. We laughed, and so of course I come out and I'm trying to explain it to all of them and I can't get it out because I'm laughing so hard. And one kid was like, you have to start, I have to pee and you're going to make me wet myself. Like, it was. It was so, oh, I wish there were footage. So anyway, we somehow get back to shore. We were, we had towels up because that's how soaking wet everyone was getting. We're getting just hit with water non stop. Finally get back to shore. Get on dry land. We're all like, God bless. we walk to go get cabs to bring us back up the fucking mountain. And I have two missed calls from him. So I immediately think like, oh we must have left something on the boat. I call him back, rips me a new one. Fuckin screaming, you broke my fucking bathroom. You didn't tell me, you guys are so rude. I'm like, also, mind you Skipper, maybe say the bathroom shouldn't be in use. There was no way, it's like being on an airplane like crazy. Shut the fuck up. Ripped me a new one, like you broke my boat. He's also acting like he has some, I don't know, gold plated toilet, when it was plastic. Like, please spare me that I broke your fucking toilet. you broke the toilet seat. I'll get you another one brother. Go to Walmart. It's not like I'm out here, you know, shitting, I literally went to go pee. I just had to pee. That's all I needed to do. Ugh. Both times. The men's bathroom. You shit all over the walls. No, he was mad that the toilet seat was broken, like was screaming at me and I was like, I don't really know what to tell you. Like we, it wasn't malicious. Yeah. And I was like, so we don't have a problem then? And then he hung up on me. And I was like, okay, onwards and upwards. Not ha Also, Jill got stuck in a to uh, bathroom while we were there too. What is with the bathrooms in Europe? She get trapped. Yeah, she freaked out too. She came back like 15 minutes later and we just all thought she was like, I don't know, unwell. And she was like, you guys, I didn't bring my phone. I was locked. I had to knock and someone had to open it from the outside, which, tell me why that's a thing. Well, I can lock you in, but you can be open from the outside, how does, how does that work? What the fuck? But anyway, so I guess I need to take some, uh, time away from some European bathrooms and some skippers who will be very angry with me. Best wedding. Amazing people, just such a wonderful month, wouldn't change a thing, so sad I'm home, want to hibernate forever, and immediately move to Italy. Uh, but I have some stories for you, because I travel a lot as a single woman, so I wanted to share with you, some stories that I've heard. So, one girl, while we were away, uh, hooked up with an opera singer. And she may or may not have asked him to sing and then sent us the next morning a video of just one side of her face and him singing opera in the background. Shut the fuck up. When I think of opera, I think of like, Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's correct. So he was doing that in bed. Yep. Okay, cute. She was literally sitting in the bed while he sang opera in the background. Would you mind just singing a tune for me? Yeah, just a little one two. She also asks everybody to take a selfie when she's on a date with them. So she has just like all of these selfies of her going on random coffee dates with men from all over Europe. And it's actually fantastic. Fair. One girl dated a man with a cavity that she could smell when he was sleeping. No! There is a clip from the Kardashians, which I know we never talk about the Kardashians, but Kim hugged Lamar. He was dating Chloe and then literally directly after they hugged she looks at Chloe and goes, Chloe, Lamar hasn't, has a cavity. And she's like, yeah, he probably has 20 of them. Like, I don't fucking know. And she's like, no, I can smell it. Yeah, I can smell he has a cavity. And I just thought it was the craziest fucking thing. I'm like, how can you smell it? What did they smell? So he's so tall and she's so small. I don't know. But yeah. How could she smell it from all the way down here? That's been real bad. It was literally like, and hug Chloe. Like it was back to back. Yeah. There was one of my friends. Who was sleeping with someone and he said Oh my god I'm so scared Mommy? Mommy, not mommy Nope, nope My immediate follow up was M A M I? M O M M Y Oh Mommy! Cute! In bed Sounds like an e looking word In England, they call eggplants aubergines. What the fuck does that mean? Yep, aubergine is an eggplant. Okay, so they don't say an eggplant emoji, you send an aubergine emoji. Okay. One of my friends, on her first date, going really well. Okay. the Banter is there, the chat is there, they're having a great time. Something has to be wrong. He goes to the bathroom, and he sends her an aubergine emoji from the bathroom. Uh huh. Eggplant emoji. And for those adults who are listening, an eggplant emoji basically means like, you're down to fuck. Like it's, it's supposed to be like penis related. Do people actually do that? Send eggplant emojis? Like for real, for real? Yes. Okay. I didn't know. What? I mean, no, I've never done it. What? You knew? I mean, I You, none of your friends have sent an eggplant emoji? No. Or received one? No. I've seen it on, on, like, in movies, but I've never done it. That is so strange to me. I know. I know. There was a stage where that was, like, all you did. Oh, okay. That was, like, your version of sexting. Oh! Okay. Or to start it. Okay. And so, he sent her an eggplant emoji, and then said, how big do you think my dick is? And she said, I don't know, and he said, I wish you'd call it small. Cause he wanted to be, like, emasculated. Oh, no, he's one of those? First date? First date! You go to the bathroom and you're already whipping out your kink of being emasculated? In the bathroom? In the bathroom! Did he just, like, come back to the table? I don't know! I never got past that part! I have so many follow up questions! Ugh! And this isn't a dating story, but I had to tell you it because it just, it's all the things that you hate and it's just perfect. A friend was at an all inclusive resort and So, when you're at a hotel that's all inclusive, there are only a certain amount of restaurants because they're going to give you a few options, but not a lot of people are going to leave the hotel because that's a portion of what you paid for. Right. So they're at one of the restaurants at this all inclusive, very busy, full to the max. She starts to choke. So someone rushes over. They're giving her the Heimlich Maneuver. I believe she was there with her husband, and as they're giving her the Heimlich Maneuver, she chokes it back up, she lives, and immediately shits herself. I don't know what's worse. I truly don't know. Let that sink in. I don't know what's worse. A woman choking in a crowded restaurant at an all inclusive resort. At what level did she shit her pants is my question. Colleen, worst case, death cod one. On the floor? On the floor. What was she wearing? Like a dress? Colleen. I mean, if you're wearing pants, you're getting caught in the pants. Colleen! Why is that I know, it's just, I was just trying to And everyone knew! It doesn't matter what she was wearing! Oh my god. She's shit everywhere! She was a machine gun shitter. To the point, to the point. The next day, they saw her checking out. Oh! No, like, cannot come back from it. I mean, fair enough. It's over. It's done. You were the, the choky shitter from the night before. Right, you were always gonna be the woman who almost choked to death and instead shit herself. And you can't come back from it. That's fucking crazy. Yeah. God bless. Yeah. Hope, hope you're doing well. So yeah, that's all I have, I just, I'm in a weird funk, I'm like mourning my trip in a weird way. I mean, I think, no, I think anyone would be unwell after such an amazing time. Yeah, like sometimes I'm looking at pictures and I'm just like, I'm, do you know what it was too? And I, I know no one has any fucking sympathy for me and I just on a boat in Capri. Drinking Lemoncello with all these wonderful people and listening to music and dancing and the wind is in your hair And you have the most beautiful view you could ever imagine and then a minute later You're here. You're in gridlock traffic on the way to work on the Felsway in Boston and you're just like How in the actual? Flying fuck. Oh, and I like the worst travel day from hell So after the boat night, we go back, we eat pasta, we hang out, because of course we ate pasta, I ate it every goddamn day. And then we woke up, and so my flight was at noon, but we were all splitting it, because it's super expensive to go alone, it was like 180 euro if I went alone. But a bunch of us split it so I got the cab at 6 a. m. So I was at the airport at 7 30 for a noon flight brutal day barely slept Get to Dublin. I'm like, okay. I just have one leg of the journey left Dublin to Boston like we can do this And I get on the plane and I'm supposed to get a window and somehow I'm in the middle of four, I can't sleep, I've been up all day long, I'm just really unwell, I'm, my body feels like I got hit by a fucking bus, I've been drinking and eating for a month, I'm sad, like, it's just all the things are happening, I cry on the plane, I'm like, get a grip, I watch a bunch of movies, and we finally get to Boston, I was like watching the clock tick down as we were getting closer, I can see Boston through the fucking window, I can see it with my eyeballs, A boat. I would like to speak to the owner of this boat in a minute, but a boat so large that it blocks Logan airport Does not allow us to land the plane. How is it so like you can't go around? Colleen. I know. And we're running out of fuel so we can't just stay up in the air and hang out. So we are rerouted to Hartford, Connecticut. So right when I think we're about to land, like minutes from landing, we add an out 45 minutes on then we sit in Hartford and they won't let us get up and they won't let us use the restaurant and we sit for an hour and a half waiting for them to refuel to decide whether we're actually getting off of the plane, or if we're going back to Boston. Luckily, thank God, they rerouted us back to Boston, but I was supposed to be like home and in bed by 7 p. m., and I walked in at 1130 eyes crossed, which is 530 a. m. in my time and my body, full 24 hours. I fell asleep on top of my sheets. I was so unwell. And so yeah, I've just been sleeping a lot. I mean, gotta do what you gotta do. And I'm just gonna fully bake potato it. I have a work event next week in Chicago. And then I have a family. Deep dish pizza though. Hate. Hate. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. It's a pie, it's not a pizza. It's a heartburn pie. It's just cheese. It's like a saucy. You like deep dish pizza? I've never had it. Google it right now. Okay. This is deep dish pizza. This is what it looks like. Oh. Does that look like pizza to you? No. Why'd they switch it? Yeah. Yeah, Colleen. It's a pie. It shouldn't even be in the pizza category. Is that just a lump of, like, a bowl of cheese? Yes, that's correct. That is correct. So, no, I won't be having deep dish because it's trash. But I do love Chicago. My question is, if you were in Chicago at any point, is every pizza a deep dish pizza? No. You can get New York. They call it New York style. You can get New York style. But, yeah, it's obviously one of the things they're known for. and then my immediate family's going to Arizona at the end of this month, so the next couple weeks I'm just gonna be a baked potato on the weekends because I need to recoup. Recouperate. Well, you want to hang out? Sure. Let's do it. Okay. I need to bake potato as well. Roll me up and call me a tater. Put some butter on me. Stop. I just pictured us as baked potatoes. I'll save my Roman Empire thing for next week, then. Yeah, I just told you We're out chatted. Yeah, we're out. We are. Tie tie. But, it's good to be back. It's good to be back home. I'm happy to have you back. In the pod room. My brother. Where we belong. Yeah. Don't wanna drink a single sip of alcohol for You'll be proud. I went to a company event last night and usually it's very big. They don't force it on you, but it's a lot of like free drinks, free this, free that. I've been offered so much alcohol since I've been home. And every time I've been like, no, no, no, truly no. I'm good. Wow. She's a sober queen. That's strength, if I've ever heard of it. That is willpower. I, my body is a temple, and I said I would have no cheese or pasta, and yesterday I walked into the work event to a full charcuterie board, which if you poked me open right now, charcuterie would fly out, meats and cheeses would just... Seep out of my pores. You sweat. And then you brought pasta and meatballs for dinner tonight. So, what I'm crushing in the alcohol department, I'm not doing so well in the food department. We'll get there. One thing at a time, everybody. We're all, we're all, you're a work in progress. Wait, what in, on a charcuche board, what's your preference? Uh, sure, cutie. Uh, I love a meat. I have a big, big ol slut for salami. Oh, salami. Salams. I love a prosciutto. I love a, uh, sharp cheese. I don't want crumbles unless it's feta. The feta, I will say, in Croatia is creamy and it threw me off. Ew. I like crumbly feta. Agreed. A texture thing. It's a texture thing. Or actually, for me, it's not. It's just my preference. Do you like brie? I don't mind it. Paula's obsessed with baked brie. It's Paula's, like, favorite thing on the planet. Really? Yeah. Noted, Paula. But I just love a cheese and meat combo. I don't mind a cracker with some jam. Or I would say chutney. Oh my god, the England loves a jam. They're all about their jellies and jams. And their teas and their crumpets. And their fucking, you know, Yorkshire pudding. I love, I, we must go somewhere and get a Sunday roast. Okay. Are you cool with that? Yeah, I'm cool with that. Great. I vibe with the Sunday roast, I think. All right, everybody. Well, that's the episode of the week. We're happy to be back. We hope you're happy that we're back. And, uh, yeah, talk to you soon. Love you, Mine! Love you, Mine! Bye!
Bridget:This podcast was produced by me. Bridget, Shannon. Music is written and performed by Matt You can find his band super Stoker anywhere you listen to music.