On this week's episode, Bridget has a bummer life update to share... she lives in a robe now and will be taking no further questions at this time. Colleen recaps us on her Halloween weekend and how she peed on a rollercoaster and loves scaring the crap out of grown ass men! Then we get into the topic of the week.... CONSPIRACY THEORIES! Bridget covers the conspiracies behind the Titanic sinking (or did it?!) and the "Birds aren't real" movement. Colleen covers the possibility that Tupac is alive and Mattress Firm being a money laundering scheme. Why are there so many of them!?!? Bridget ends with a game of "annoying inconveniences I wish on people" and some positive stories of the week (we needed it). If you see Bridget at a strip club or selling pictures of her feet on the internet... MIND YA BUSINESS!!! #ScoopDogg #Parent
Sources:
Positive Stories of the Week:
Review and subscribe! You can find us on Instagram @Sippinwiththeshannons or send us your stories at Sippinwiththeshannons@gmail.com. Love you, mean it.
On this week's episode, Bridget has a bummer life update to share... she lives in a robe now and will be taking no further questions at this time. Colleen recaps us on her Halloween weekend and how she peed on a rollercoaster and loves scaring the crap out of grown ass men! Then we get into the topic of the week.... CONSPIRACY THEORIES! Bridget covers the conspiracies behind the Titanic sinking (or did it?!) and the "Birds aren't real" movement. Colleen covers the possibility that Tupac is alive and Mattress Firm being a money laundering scheme. Why are there so many of them!?!? Bridget ends with a game of "annoying inconveniences I wish on people" and some positive stories of the week (we needed it). If you see Bridget at a strip club or selling pictures of her feet on the internet... MIND YA BUSINESS!!! #ScoopDogg #Parent
Sources:
Positive Stories of the Week:
Review and subscribe! You can find us on Instagram @Sippinwiththeshannons or send us your stories at Sippinwiththeshannons@gmail.com. Love you, mean it.
And three, two, one. Drink. And cheers. Finish it, you won't. No I won't. I'm not a heathen. Today, if there was a day to be a heathen, it is, in fact, today. Okay, maybe. Next week we don't have to be heathens. Next week we can drink water with lemon if you want. Today we get, we get a little drunk. All right, fine. Twist my arm. Give the people what they want. I don't know if I do as well tipsy or not. Listeners, let me know. Also, like, respectfully, they don't care. You people, you don't give a fuck. You don't, do you? No. You know when we get like tripped up because we're like sippering fucking hash, like twisting over our words? You people don't give a fuck. So we shouldn't. You know? One less thing you gotta worry about upstairs, you know? And I cut a lot of it out. So they don't even hear. Don't even waste your time! Your precious time! Yeah, the precious time I have an abundance of now. We'll get into that later. Hi everybody. Hey! Welcome to this week's edition of Sippin with the Shannons. We're cousins, and each week we sit down, we sip on some wine, we talk some shit, and we have a good giggle. I like it. What? I'm Bridget Shannon. And I'm Colleen Shannon. Hi. Hey, hey, how you doing over there? Why don't you go first, because I'm a downer. Or should I go first, because you're gonna pick it up? yeah, you go first. You, you lay your thoughts on the table, and then I'll pick up the hot garbage as you lay it down. Fuck. Uh, okay. Well, hi everyone. What's new? Tell us. You know, a little bit of this and a little bit of that. As I like to say, same panic, different disco. Uh, I went to Arizona last week with my family. I, uh, was having a lovely time. We stayed at a resort. it was quite nice, very nice pool. The game plan was I would work Monday, Tuesday, and then I took Wednesday, Thursday, Friday off so that I could hang with the fam and go to the Grand Canyon. And Tuesday night I got a phone call and I lost my job. I got laid off. It's not funny. I don't know why I'm laughing. And they basically said, you can't say anything. We tell everyone else on Thursday. In their defense, they were trying to tell me before I was out of office. But what that also meant was that I knew it was going to be ugly and I knew it wasn't just me and I just couldn't stop thinking about who it was going to be or how bad or what time of day they would announce it. But I guess if you're going to get laid off, you might as well do it at a hotel bar in front of a pool instead of at home on your couch. Still a shitty position to put you in though to just be sitting on that information. Stewing. Yeah, it was, it, at first I was like, it's not that big of a deal, who cares? Like, I still got shitty news regardless of how long I know it. And then when I actually sat with it, I hated it. I hated knowing, I hated knowing it was coming. You also, when you all get laid off together, you have someone to commiserate with. I was just sitting with it. I was an absolute wreck. I cried my eyes out. I barely got any sleep and then we woke up at 5. 45am and went to the Grand Canyon. and you know, it's so funny about Instagram. One of our like lifelong family friends posted. Or she wrote, she commented on the photo like, Oh, the family looks so happy. I'm like, Oh, bitch. I was borderline ready to throw myself into the canyon. So I'm glad at least I look happy in the photo. There was a Snapchat of the canyon and something along the lines of ready to swan dive. Uh, which is a joke. Oh, obviously. But you giggle so you don't cry and everyone knows that. Yeah. And that's, that's my thing is I usually joke because I, yeah, I giggle so I don't cry. I was running on less than fumes that day, but you know what? It was a, it was a bucket list spot. Like I, I don't think I'd ever personally seek out the Grand Canyon. So the fact that I was able to go and. Go with my family and with the kids and they have this really cool thing. We took a train and Clara's the most popular Baby on the train period no most popular person on the train period but Danny crushed it. He absolutely loved it They have this thing where when you're coming back, they have cowboys on horseback ride along the train Wow with guns Like fake guns and they shoot into the air and then they actually come onto the train So they slow the train down and they have everyone put their arms up. They're like put your hands up Give me your money. You would love it because it's all like in good fun and they insult people too. So they'll walk by And there was a man and a woman sitting next to each other, and they said to the guy like, Give me your money. And he's like, By the way, your dress, I can tell you don't have any. Ma'am, give me your money. Or like, they try to steal like your wedding rings and money out of your pocket and all this stuff. And your loot. Danny had candy. And he was like, can I have some candy? And Danny started giving him candy. He goes, I don't take candy from strangers! And just ran away. So, it, we actually, we had a good day, Considering. Considering. but yeah, it, it was, uh, It was a tough thing to find out, mid family vacation. It was not ideal. I mean, it's my favorite job I've ever had. We got back on Sunday, and I woke up Monday morning and was like, Oh, I don't have anywhere to be. And I have never been unemployed. The last time I was unemployed, I was 15. And I had no idea what the fuck to do with myself. And, yeah, it's just, it's just super disappointing. What I will say, though, really quickly about Arizona, Why the fuck do we go to Florida? Why do we go to Florida when dry heat is an option? That's fair. Who the fuck wants to go to humidity? Oh my god, not a cloud in the sky, beautiful and 85 every single day, dry. Gorge. They were hot tubs that I used regularly. One day, Erin said to Danny, Get a grip. And he goes, I don't know how to get a grip! I was like, honestly, same kid. One night Claire was crying. She's totally fine, but she was crying and he was rubbing her head singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to her. Stop, I'll die for him. They're just the best. Claire's crazy. Claire's a wild child. Our little sweet baby angel who would just like sit and smile and giggle at everyone. She's gone. Gone with the wind. Just running around like a lunatic. So sassy, so funny. So we, we tried to make the best of it. I tried really, really hard to not let it. Affect you. Affects the rest of the week. You know, we only go on this annual family vacation together once a year, which is why I said annual. Someone just end me now. but yeah, I'm just trying to figure my shit out. I was planning on traveling a lot. Uh, next year I just got it approved by the boss. We talked about it. He was like, yes, love this for you. And here we are. And now not only... Am I not traveling? I'm not leaving, and I may not be able to afford it here. So, yes, you will. We have faith. I know. And to be honest, like, I'm being a little dramatic. No, but you have every right to sess. Sess it out. Sess pool it out. You know? Yeah. What's the word I'm looking for? Like, wallow. Wallow. Oh, wallow. Yeah. Not sess pool. You're not a sess pool. I know. I know. I just, I don't do the whole feeling sorry for myself thing. I definitely did that. I had one night where I was very sad and cried. A lot. And to be honest, the thought of like, redoing my resume or updating my resume and writing a cover letter makes me want to puke. And so, or just like, you know what I mean, learning a whole new company and a whole new product and a new boss and figuring out how things work before you're even allowed to do anything. And I don't know, it's just not for me right now. I know that me getting laid off had nothing to do with me personally. And I got. You know glowing reviews of like we'll recommend you to anyone so I know when I want to get back into it I think I'll get scooped up pretty quickly, but just the thought of corporate America right now just isn't sitting well So I'm just gonna take a beat. I'm very lucky. I'm not a breadwinner or You know, I don't have kids or a mortgage especially right before the holidays. That's true just trying to take it one day at a time and then I got home and I tried to Uh, do some personal stuff and realize that my social security number was stolen. So, I live in a robe now. And she will be undisturbed. Mind your motherfucking business. Does it have a ketchup stain on it? Yes, it does. Did I ask? No, I did not. Uh. You guys, I went to go pet her robe earlier because I hadn't seen it before and I wanted to know how soft it was. And she's like, oh, what, is there a stain? And I said, no, I just wanted to know how soft it was. And she's like, oh, there's ketchup on the other side. I was just expecting there to be pasta sauce. Somewhere. I mean, as you should. You should see her right now. She's looking glorious with her sangria and her sunglasses and her robe. And I actually think that. People might be envious of your vibe right now. I doubt it. Step by step. Day by day. Well, you know, they do say, like, if you're not uncomfortable or in fear, you're not growing. I'm just saying. So are you growing every day? Yes. We're all works in progress. Yeah. It's just a speed bump on the road of life. And can I just say, I love my dentist. I go every three months. I love them. I've been going to them far longer than a decade. I called today, they're closed permanently. I was just there a month ago. Like what has happened in a month? First John Brewer is now your dentist? I literally, I called them. And it was some random ass number, and I was like, It's programmed in my phone. I looked at my phone like, Who did you just call? And then I googled it and it said, Closed permanently. And I was like, What? A whiff? How are you gonna get your dental records? I don't know. I don't have dental insurance anymore anyway. Wait, they're not even giving you like six months. With that shit? No, they're not. I got totally fucked. Yeah, so you're not gonna get anything? I love, I will say I love this company. I love the people. I have no, Honestly, I don't have any anger. I'm just sad and disappointed and I have no idea what to do with my life and yeah, I uh I mean, listen, we're just gonna live in a robe and we're gonna drink wine, and we're gonna pretend like we're in a different reality. Dissociation! Cheers! Full de lulu. You gotta go full de lulu. My boss says that to me all the time. She's like, just be delusional, you know? It's fine. And I really think we should start living by that. Yeah, for sure. No, I think that you'll get, like you said, scooped up. No, I know, I just, uh, It's the uh, about it. It's the thought of it, and I get it, but I'm just saying. It will bring you greener pastures. What the fuck are you saying right now? What are you saying to me right now? I feel like you think you're about to be lost in the sauce for like a fucking year and trapped here and I don't see that for you. I really don't. And I'm not being de lulu. I'm being straight forward. Like, it's just, it's not possible. It's not happening. And that's my true and honest opinion. If you value it at all. I'm not sure. Anyone else listening will probably tell you the same. For real. To be honest, I know that. I know that when I start interviewing again that things will fall into place. And I, I, not trying to be obnoxiously positive here, I do think everything happens for a reason. No, facts. I was going to say that to you, but I thought you'd punch me. So I didn't. No, I, I have to say that though. You can't say that to me. I would in fact punch you in the throat. Okay, cool. It's how I feel about dating. I can say that, but you can't say that. But yeah, no, I know that. It's just the, the thought of, it's like, after a really bad breakup and like the thought of going back on the apps and finding a new partner is just so daunting and draining and dejecting, even though I know I would be successful. Does that make sense? Yep. It's just the, The thought, the energy, the time. The, no, I'm really good at my job, let me, uh, uh, I, I can't, third round, fourth round, I've done this, I've done this, and I'm not ready to do it again. So I'm just gonna, I'm gonna take a minute, I'm very privileged in that sense, so we're just gonna see what happens. Which is fun! I might sell my underwear. I may sell pictures of my feet, and if you see them on the internet, let me tell you something. Mind your goddamn business. Let me tell you something, rent was due. Rent was due. If it pays the bills, it is okay. Okay? Okay. But Colleen showed up tonight, made me sangria, I made pasta, and she had flowers and a very nice card for me. So, greatly appreciated that. Did you enjoy the comment about, I hope you find peace? Yes! It definitely was for a grieving widow, the card. I know! I didn't know there was an inside, that's why I put LOL. I thought it was blank. You didn't, oh, I understand what you mean now. Yeah, yeah. I was like, cards usually open, Colleen. That's usually how it is. I'm not a Trader Joe's, I know! Uh, yeah, how are you? Please pick up the energy, where I have lost it. Matthew Perry is dead! Oh, wow. Okay, let's just keep going down this rabbit hole. No, I just have to get it off my chest. I'm so upset. That poor, poor man. Hasn't he seen enough? Yeah, clearly a long, long battle that he was very vocal about. Yeah. Also the fact that... His last photo was in his hot tub a week before. So creepy. Speaking of which, his last couple posts were confusing. People are gonna make a conspiracy theory out of that. Yeah, probably. Speaking of today's episode. Bum bum bum. Buh buh bum. Conspiracy theories part three? Two? Two, I think. We haven't done more than one. I think we just did the one. Well, part whatever part you're on. Yeah, actually it might be three. Oh my gosh, you know what? I corrected you. I told you that Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy didn't use hitchhikers to kill. That is 100 percent incorrect. Oh, did they? You were right. Oh, pop off. Cool. Good to know. Just wanted to Good thing I don't plan on hitchhiking. For real. They ruined it for us, as you said. So, I mean, I really don't have much to report while you were gone. It was just Halloween weekend, dressed up as a founding father. It was truly one of the best costumes I've ever seen. It was fun. It was really so. American of me. I felt so connected to my, my roots. Yes. Except I did think Abraham Lincoln was a founding father. He is, in fact, not. We talked about this. How would the founding father be the 16th president? I didn't know he was the 16th. But I know that I dressed up as Benjamin Franklin. I didn't get to wear the wig because it was really, really bad for me. It was ugly. And where the bald spot was was my forehead. And it just, it wasn't a vibe. Okay? but I, I know that he did the electricity with the kite and the key and whatever. Yes, but it was, it was fabulous. I wore my garb and my fucking whatever they're called, petticoats. I don't know. She nailed it. We'll post a picture of it. I was absolutely nailed it. Sweating balls. Yeah. So it was also that day that was extremely warm for no fucking reason at all. Melting. My second day of costume didn't really matter. I was very glad mother Aaron was Cinderella. It just makes sense. That's what we need to know. It sense. It's so cute. on Sunday, I volunteered at Baritone Mansion in Abington. If you know, you know. If you don't, it's like a well known haunted house, has a restaurant next to it. a friend of a friend was doing like a fundraiser night and I said, sure, I'll do it because obviously, like, I love that shit. So I was like, oh, I thought it'd be fun. We got there. We're late. Well, not late, but like a little late. Just not on time. Just not, yeah. Yeah. So we missed the whole spiel about what to expect and what to do and where to go and all of that stuff.'cause we were having drinks at the bar. Classic. It was a cold day that day. It was pouring. It was just, it wasn't it. We were hungover it, it. Wasn't the vibe. Why did we think volunteering was a good idea to begin with? Because we're such good people. We're good Samaritans. We're good Samaritans, it was for a good cause, and I just got roped in. So, so we get there, and the guy that's running the thing is like, I need one person to do this, and one person to do that, and one person to do this. But we wanted to be together, and there was four of us. So we waited, and we waited, and we waited. Until he said a group of four, and then we were like, oh, me, me, me, me, me. Turns out, we waited too long, so we were in, not the actual haunted house. We were in the, the makeshift one next door, that had no ceiling, and it was a walkthrough. In the rain. It was, I was wearing a short sleeve shirt, in October. It was p p pouring rain. You didn't look at the weather before you decided to... I thought we'd be in the house. I had no idea there was a next door, and there was nothing in the instructions that said that. And they didn't bring a jacket of any kind. No. I had a flannel, but you couldn't wear the flannel, obviously. No, it was fine, because at the time it was not raining. It had rained earlier in the day. So we get all done up. I'm looking all fucked up. I'll post a picture. And the four of us, it was actually hysterical. Like, it was like such a unique experience. And then, they put us in our room, and we get this like, funky arcade room. And... We realize it's literally just the four of us and we're like, well, how are we supposed to actually scare these people? Oh, like respectfully the least scariest people. I know picture you just getting put in this room With like bit props and having to scare groups of like five people at a time. No, i'd be like, yes Yes, yes. So at one point I go behind the counter and there's a girl helping out and she's like, you can just like surprise them and like hit things and like make noises, whatever. She's like telling me things to say and so obviously I'm a little awkward at first, like my buzz is wearing off and I grab a mason jar and I go to hit it and I thought it was plastic. It was fucking glass, just shatters in my hand. I just look at her I go, I'm so sorry. Oh my god. It was actually really fun for like the first two hours. We also didn't realize the time that it actually went to. We thought that the time that it said ended was the time that it ended. How did none of you read any instructions? Well, it said till 10. 30. They stopped selling tickets at 10. 30. That doesn't mean they're done. So we were there. You missed the part where they probably explained that. Oh, but I was like killing it at one point. Like, I was really fitting and everyone was impressed. I'm sure. I got on top of the That does not surprise me at all. The ski ball, the haunted ski ball. And I was scaring everybody and I was saying, Wanna play? Oh! Oh my god. No, it was so good. No, I would go, Hold on, I gotta get that voice. I couldn't talk then, I have to say. You sound like a Paris from House Bunny. Is that what you were going for? I was going, Jackpot! Screaming at them! No, it was good. Like, I was really doing good. Like, I was scaring people. And then I had, like, pans in my hands, and I would smack them behind their heads to scare them. Oh my god, Colleen. At one point I did hit a child by accident, but I didn't tell anyone. Colleen! And he put his hand down, and I was like, I wanted to make a scary sound, so I smacked it. And it went, right on his hand, and he was just like, ah! And it kept going. It's fine. He was like an annoying grubby preteen. He's fine. Oh my god. It wasn't like a toddler. Stop assaulting the toddlers. But I was... I'm gonna want to play a game! Just like that. Jigsaw style. It was so good. Proud of you. And then I would pop up behind. Did you find your calling? I, I did love it, but then after like the third hour, I was like, I'm, I'm tired now. The, it was like blaring like Skrillex, and like lots of lights, and like, yeah. And the nightclub that you finally want to leave, because you realize you're sober and not on drugs. To the point where, and then it starts downpouring. So we're cold, and not wanting to be there, and we're sober, all of the things, and also I can't talk, my throat hurts, and my head's starting to hurt because I've been yodeling at people for three hours, so no. So then we're like, every time someone comes in, we're like, ah! Like, if we make this lame enough, people will stop coming. It was year 200, and so I think finally Erin was like, ma'am, we have to go, I'm so sorry, and she brought people to like, cover for us. I was like, get me out of here. We did not speak on the car ride home. We blasted the heat. We just had makeup all down our face and we did not speak a word. It's probably the saddest looking photo. I was a shell of a person. It looks like a sad clown that was rained on. That's exactly what the photo looks like. I mean, if I had the opportunity again, of course I would do it if it was like obviously for good cause and if it wasn't raining. but yeah, I just wasn't prepared for what I Really had to do was scream at people for like seven hours. It was it was exhausting I was a shell of a person the next day. I couldn't walk. I couldn't talk. It was a lot more I walk I could I was like my body hurt my bones hurt from being so cold for so many hours I'm like jumping up and down riddled woman We were all down bad, but it was worth it So if you have the opportunity to do it, do it, but just do it once. Yeah, one and done, gang. One and done. I'll tell you, the people that worked there are some interesting fuckin people. Yeah. Like, they were like, salivating for it. Yeah, like, this is my whole life. Yeah, and like, I mean, I liked it, but like, uh, mm mm. Uh uh uh. You're not grooming over it, as you would say? Yes. I had watched Victoria as she was running up to them and just like, not speaking and just going like this. Oh. And then she'd go, Ah! Oh my gosh. It was bad. It was bad. Victoria. But I will say, getting like a grown man to be like, Ah! Is so satisfying. Yeah, isn't it nice? It was like a power trip. Yeah, I'm sure. I kind of loved it for a minute. That's how they feel. All the time. I would be like, doing my thing and then I would look up and like, and then Didn't tell you to smile more. Oh my god, a guy blew a kiss at me. He goes, No. I went, No. No, I swear. It was an old man. I cannot. I was like, I was like, Wanna play a game? And he went, He went, And I went, Back and he kept going. Good lord. Yeah, so that was that. I don't think, I, So many people had good costumes this year. Did you notice that or no? I love the Halloween content. No, I haven't really been looking. I was too busy reading Britney Spears new book. Did you read it? Of course I did. Tell me. We're gonna do an episode on it. Oh, okay. I hope every man in that book goes directly to hell, including Justin Timberlake. Really? Is it true that he said that she, she said that he had a small ween in it? Is that true? Can you confirm? No, that's not true. Oh. The rumors aren't true. Maybe that got around. I didn't hear that part. I heard plenty of other crap about him, but not that. That's disrespectful to me. Okay. I was really hopeful that that was like, a good tidbit of tea. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised. Just cause he sucks, that I wanted that to be in the mix as well. Yeah, fair enough. You know? Fair enough. I did go to Spooky World. Did I can't remember. No, I don't think so. Cause I feel like I haven't seen you for like, more than a week, right? Yeah. I went to Spooky World at Canobie. Okay, how was it? It was good. The haunted houses were so good. Really? I don't really like rides that much, so I just like went on the antique cars, you know? You, I think it was on the pod, I think it was last year. I did go last year. Yeah, okay, and you basically told your friends you love roller coasters and then when it gets to the front you would run away? I did that again this time. Great. Yeah, I did go on the Yankee Cannonball at, at Canobie. I don't know if you remember that one at all. It's my, the first roller coaster I've ever been on. Yes, my first and my last. Right. So I went on it when I was younger and I kind of just like forgot and I think I just like suppressed it and then when I got on I was like, I've made a grave mistake. You do realize that. is the scariest one to go on because it's from like the 1900s. Yeah, it's literally from like 1930. And they have the sign saying that's when it if we went to Disney World tomorrow, you're telling me you wouldn't go on any ride. I would go on rides, but it would depend. Like I can't do an open roller coaster where like my feet are dangling and we go upside down. I can't do it. If it was enclosed, you know how Disney has a lot of those that you like are in it and you go upside down? That's fine. But if it's open air and I can see out, I, I, I, no. Why? I'm terrified of heights. T T Terrified. I closed my eyes the whole time on the Yankee Cannonball. but I felt it. I was The Yankee Cannonball gang. I was rising. I'm gonna post a video of the Yankee Cannonball and you're gonna be like, She is eight. I kept going, Is it done? This isn't fun! Am I having any fun? Is it over? And Molly's like, No, no, it's not over yet. And I was screaming, but she's like, Are you laughing or are you crying? I peed my pants. No, you didn't. No, I didn't. Fully? Yes, I did. A hefty amount. And then we went Like a puddle? Yes, so we went on the teacups after for like a whoo moment and there was pee on the teacups. No, I was not. You are disgusting. I couldn't help it Bridget. I had to pee and I was scared Sorry, I'm incontinent You love that word. I do. Incontinence isn't cute. Incontinence isn't cute. yeah that case I couldn't I couldn't help couldn't be helped You couldn't have just like gone to the bathroom while everyone waited in line? While I was on the roller coaster? Before I didn't really have to pee that much. Oh good lord. And there I was. You know what Colleen? Pee wherever you want. I don't care anymore. I'm a recluse. With pee s and pants. I'm just a full recluse. I don't give a shit what you do. I went out. This is irrelevant, but I went out to dinner with, a few of my friends from work the other night. And there was a guy sitting next to me at the table, like a table, right next door obviously, duh, who's so close to me, as close as we are. And I was like, how do I know this man? I could not figure it out for the life of me. Who is that? I realized it's been, it's a man that Erin has been like, not seeing, but like, She's seen him a couple times. Dabbling with. Dabbling with, correct. And like, who, he's not, it's not that he's not allowed to go with other people, like she is too, like that's fine. But, so I texted Aaron and I was like, man's sitting next to me right now and he's on a date with another girl. And she was like, no, that's fine. I'm just like, what does she look like? I'm just curious. So like, I was, it was like, she's, she's pretty, whatever. And then the minute after I had seen him leave, she texted me immediately and was like, he literally just snapped out of me. Men are trash. Trash. Damn. That poor girl. But yeah, just thought that was a little... I mean, I don't do this a lot. To his credit, they are not dating. Correct, but what if that girl, I obviously don't know the story, but what if the girl he was sitting on a date with thinks that? Yeah, that's true. That's the context we both had in our brain. That's all. I just thought that was funny. Men are trash. Men are trash. this morning, you already know this but I'm going to tell the people so they understand what it's like. A day in the life. I awoken this morning. Bright eyed and bushy tailed. And I had a plan. I was going to get up, I was going to wash my hair, drop off my rent check, just have a really great productive day. I opened my eyes and I said it's a little bit too bright in here for my liking. Worst feeling ever. Worst feeling. Stomach comes out my ass, like, drops, and I, oh, I look over at my phone, and you know the screen when your alarm clock is going off and it's, like, the darkness and you can pick, like, snooze or off or whatever the fuck it is? That was on, but there was no sound coming out, and I was like, no, there's no way I had my phone on, like, seven. Like fully down and volume like silent doesn't even it still goes off when it's on silent. So I try to click it out It's not working. I finally get out of it my Wallpaper is black. I can see my apps. I can't open any of my apps My phone no longer has a lock number like it doesn't have a passcode. Yeah, like a passcode I'm like what the fuck couldn't figure it out. Couldn't call anyone couldn't do anything I am already late for work as it is like I was supposed to be at work at that moment in time So I'm like, it's okay like no one's in care. How do I contact anyone to tell them? Can't use my phone. I get up, I'm just stark naked, and I run into my living room. Erin's not there, Fiona's not there, because they're at work. Don't relate. Like a normal, like a normal functioning person. Sorry. Like a, like a. Can't relate. Like an unfortunate circumstance that someone's at work, you know? Yeah. Sure. So then I had to, I got, I realized I had my computer and my team's call, picture me stark naked. Team's calling, frantically, my boss. The camera was off, FYI. But either way, like I'm in my room like, oh my god. And she's like, hello? I'm like, I just woke up, my phone's not working, I don't know what to do. It's frantic. And she's like, it's fine, I'll see you in a little while. Hang up the phone, get my shit together. My hair is... If you guys can see it right now, it's slicked to the sun. It's fucking terrible. I get to work and there is just state troopers, cops, security fucking everywhere. I'm like, for fuck's sake, what is going on? I don't have the strength for this. There's a crazy woman on the loose. She's spreading the word of God. It's too early. It's much, much too early. It's too early for this. So I'm like, excuse me, just trying to get to work with my slicked back hair. And my manic, my manic energy. Thank you. Excuse me. I was waiting to see an arrest. I was like creeping out the windows. They took her in the ambulance. No arrest though, yet. we'll follow up. Don't worry. But, she was spreading the word of the lord. sounds about right. And, yeah, my phone ended up getting fixed. Apparently you have to hit the button up there. She just needs to shut her phone off and turn it back on. No, I couldn't turn it off though. That's the thing. So it needed like a hard reboot, whatever the fuck that means? So if your phone doesn't shut off for a really long time, it starts to act funky. Oh. Yours is just really bad timing. So it had to go up, down, and then you had to like hold it for like ten minutes or something. Take it back now, y'all. Now hop this time. Yeah, it like, really, what a day. I've been on my couch in my robe. That was my day. Life comes at you fast. Life comes at you fucking fast, let me tell ya. Pardon me. so do you want to go first or do you want me to go first? I'll go first. So, I thought it was only fitting that I did the conspiracies around the Titanic sinking. Oh! I Got this information from a history article by Becky Little and also Wikipedia. As you all know, I'm completely obsessed with the Titanic. I did a whole episode on it in April about how it sank and why it sank. I was also obsessed with the submersive over the summer. I've just, you know, tracked all Titanic stuff. There are three conspiracy theories around the Titanic. One, that it was sunk on purpose. Oh! Two, that it never sank. That's just In three, a mummy's curse doomed the Titanic. Oh, I like that one. Which I thought would be your vibe. I like that one. Let's start with It Was Sunk On Purpose. According to this theory, millionaire banker J. P. Morgan planned the Titanic disaster to kill off his rivals. Millionaires Jacob Astor Isidore Strauss and Benjamin Guggenheim, who all were on board and died. Guggenheim? So, J. P. Morgan was a 75 year old financer who was nicknamed the Napoleon of Wall Street, so you can imagine what he was like. He helped create General Electric, U. S. steel, an international harvester, and was credited with almost single handedly Saving the U. S. banking system during the Panic of 1907. He owned the International Mercantile Marine, which owned White Star Line, which owned the Titanic. So he was part owner of the Titanic, essentially. Oh, I didn't know that. Yes. He owned the boss's boss's boss. Got it. If you've ever seen Real Housewives of New York, Sonya Morgan, that's her. Oh, is she a descendant? She married a Morgan, and so that's why Ah. And she's they're divorced, but she still acts like they're married. And she would, like, go to the Morgan Museum and be like, DON'T TOUCH THE MULLIGAN LETTUCE! Yeah. Too much. Too much. She's much too much. So, Morgan had a hand in helping create the Federal Reserve Bank, and the three wealthy men aboard the ship were allegedly opposed to the creation of one U. S. central bank. Big emphasis on allegedly because there's actually no evidence that Astor or Guggenheim ever publicly said anything opposing it, but a Strauss apparently did. So, conspiracy theorists say that J. P. Morgan arranged to have the men on the ship killed, eliminating them, by sinking it. It does not help J. P. Morgan to know that he had booked a personal suite on the Titanic with his own private deck, in Bath. They even had, specially designed cigar holders for him. Last minute, he cancelled his trip. And he decided to stay at his luxurious hotel that he was at. And they say that he cancelled because he knew about what was going to happen to the ship. So, conspiracy theorist Stu Peters claimed Ocean Gate, the submersive, was deliberately sabotaged in order to prevent its own passengers from discovering that the Titanic was sunk by a, quote, controlled demolition instead of an iceberg. Oh, like that was the cover Oh, okay. I'm getting it now. I mean, a stretch. I mean, it's, if you think of it that way, it's a fair point. Like, that makes sense as to why they would do that and why the submersible, like. You know? No. Okay, so here's where I struggle with conspiracy theories. Because I just am like, that's not true. I tried to do flat earth. I was like, the earth just isn't flat. Like, I was having trouble looking into it. Yeah. Because I was just like, but that's just inaccurate. Why would I keep looking into this? I mean, we've all seen a globe. We know. Have you seen a globe? Guess what? Plot twist, it's fucking circular. Seventh grade social studies, bitch. Uh, it never sank. So people seem to love a good insurance fraud story, so here's a Titanic one for you. Oh, that's smart. Titanic conspiracy theorist Robin Gardner wrote a book called Titanic, the ship that never sank? Question mark? In 1998. Gardner draws on several events and coincidences that occurred in the months, days, and hours leading up to the sinking of the Titanic. The theory starts with the fact that the Olympic was damaged while sailing from Southampton, England, to New York in September of 1911. It had to return to the shipping yard in Belfast for repairs. The company repairs the Olympic. It sails to New York and back. It returns to Belfast for more repairs in March of 1912, just weeks before the Titanic set sail. The conspiracy theory claims that some people, a person, found the Olympic too severely damaged to be profitable, and so at some point switched it with the Titanic to purposely ditch the damaged ship, get all the insurance money, and it seems, kill a bunch of people in the meantime. So, basically the ship that sank, was, in fact, the Olympic disguised and then the Titanic was the one that came and saved everybody and went about its merry time. Again, this doesn't help because the insurance scam, they think, was by its owners, which would also be American financer J. P. Morgan. Understood. So, again, all things are stemming from J. P. Morgan. this is also a stretch. The, the odds of having... 700 people who survive not see you switch out a ship that breaks in front of them in the middle of the night in the middle of the ocean. It's just hard for me to wrap my brain around. I agree. The third. The craziest, but the one I thought you would like the best. A mummy's curse. Gasp. One of the passengers who went down with the Titanic was William Steed. He was a British editor who subscribed to early 20th century spiritualism and had spent the past several years claiming a cursed mummy was causing mysterious destruction and disaster in London. As with other myths about, quote, Egyptian curses, in quote, Native American burial grounds, this myth played off of colonialists anxiety about, you know, how the fact that we who... Already had it, you know, yeah from people who are already here and like Already owned the land, and then we came in. Because we were assholes. Yeah. Colonizing, hi, on board the Titanic, Steed happily repeated his tale of the mummy's curse to other passengers. After the ship sank, a survivor recounted his story to the New York world and the media picked it right up. In the next month, the Washington Post ran this headline, quote, Ghost of the Titanic, Vengeance of the Hoodoo Mummy, Followed Man Who Wrote Its History, end quote. Some people linked the mummy's curse to Egyptian artifacts. That's the survivor and hero, Maggie Brown. Margo Brown. I talked about her. They said that she really did take it onto the Titanic to deliver it to a museum in Denver, which is why she had it. In other versions of the story, the mummy itself was actually on board the Titanic, because the British Museum had sold it to an American and an American was shipping home with it. But the truth is... This so called unlucky mummy is still at the British Museum, and no mummy was ever loaded onto the ship. But that is some people's key takeaway. Is that a mummy? Cursed it. I am here for that. There's one that's not. It's kind of Titanic related. That Jack Dawson is Jay Gatsby. Yes, yeah, yeah. I've seen that before. So, this one is actually the 1997 Titanic movie. There's a theory that the internet thinks that Leonardo DiCaprio's character in the Titanic is his character in The Great Gatsby. And that the whole thing is that he survives the sinking of the ship, and then he goes off to America in an attempt to reunite with Rose. And he builds himself this whole new life and he's this party going showman in the jazz age and he hopes that Rose will appear and he'll find her and he ends up falling in love with a woman named Daisy Buchanan. Daisy! So that's, that's a little fun one but yeah that's my first one. Do you believe in any of those or do we think that it just happened as is? It happened as is. Okay cool. Just wondering. Not to be a total fucking downer but I, I believe that to kill 1, 500 plus people for insurance fraud is fucking crazy. That I agree. It's just like, what, you pay them all off, question mark? Like, in over 700 people are, what, lying? mm. Lying hustlers. Mm hmm. I agree with that. For sure. I was holding my boss's dog the other day. Just like, sitting and holding her. And someone I work with looked at me and was like, Oh my god, and she's an older dog, she's like 14. I was like, is she breathing like that? And I was like, what? Oh, it was you. And I was like, what? And he was going, Me. Colleen, where are you fighting for your life when you're sitting holding a dog? I was standing. That's a lot for me. No, it's not! But I genuinely just breathe loud. Like, I'm a mouth breather. It's disgusting. Erin told me I was doing her hair, because when she was Cinderella, obviously I'm a fairy godmother, so I was doing her fucking hair for her. Putting it up in a bun. And later on, she was like, I didn't want to tell you, but you were like, Huuuh, huuh, huuh, behind me? Like, oh my god, Colleen. Get a grip on yourself. I feel like, can we just be a family of mouth breathers? Can I that's... So gross. Okay. We just be a family of loud breathers. No, you can just do it on your own. Okay. Sorry. I refuse to partake unless my nose is blocked. Can we add that to the genetic list? No. We already have enough shitty things. Okay. Cheers to that. Okay.. Do you know anything about Tupac? What do you know? Jada Pinkett's obsessed with him still. I can't. We get into that. Don't worry. Great. Anything else? I mean, other than he's one of the greatest rappers of all time, and that he was Yeah, he He was shot, but is missing, question mark, but not. Do you think he's dead or no? I think he's dead. Okay, well, we'll see about that. Okay, great. So, I wanted to chat about the conspiracy that Tupac is actually still alive and he's just like out here vibing. but before I get into that and all the reasons why and why people think that and all the crazy shit. for those of you who don't know, Tupac, obviously a rapper back in the 90s, he's considered one of the most influential, successful rappers of all time before he, you know, was. Killed. Untimely demise. He met his untimely demise. Oh god, the drama. His music was more than just like the normal standard rap. Like, when I think of like rap today, I think of like the SNL skit of like Pete Davidson and it. Yeet! Skrt! Yeet! Skrt! So, nothing like that. His music really addressed like a lot of social issues, injustice, and it brought up the government sometimes. He was born in New York though and his parents were both political activists which is where that like spark for like making a change came from. So it really came through in his music. He raps about things that you know were much bigger than him. He had like a vision of the world in his brain and he thought that his music would play a part in it and he just he used his platform for good. Yeah. Essentially. So he wasn't like. Rapping about money and bitches, you know, I mean like he was but like he was also like had a greater He was bigger than that, you know, yeah, cool He even said in 1996 that he was gonna be so much improved by the next presidential election That if he was alive, he was going to be there as a presidential candidate like a pop off Tupac he really saw quote unquote the faults and cracks in our society and he saw how to fix them and he had solutions So that's what he rapped about. and his fans thought the same. They really saw him almost like a prophet, if you will. So everyone loved him, including Jada Pinkett Smith. Yeah. Yeah, we know now. My good lord, she won't shut up about it. She claims they were like soulmates. It's a whole thing. She won't, like you said, shut the fuck up about it. She said on some random ass interview recently, it was like after the whole Will Smith and What's the same thing came about? Who slapped Chris Rock? Chris Rock, I almost just said Kevin Hart. Bitch. I know. No, he'd have to bend down at the knees to slap Kevin Hart. I know. in an interview, which it was about her and Will, she's like, Patupac, like, I can't. She said, And I quote, if there is such a thing as past lives, I definitely think that Pock and I have traveled a few together. Pock? Something like, is wrong here. I mean, maybe if that's true. There's something that irks me about people who do that about past relationships. Yes, when there was like no proof. Like, you know what I mean? Like, that's like me being like, yeah, me and fucking Matt Perry, we had a time. Like, that's how I see it in my brain. Right, where the other person isn't here to speak on it. Yes, it's just like shut up. It, this was over 20 years ago, STFU, you know, you're, uh, well, actually not married. They've apparently been separated, but whatever. You know what I mean? Yeah. Just shut up. And she said, again, in quotes, it was almost like God made us that way. It was like, I'm going to put y'all together, right? Y'all are going to be a dynamic duo. Like, relax. He's dead. You knew each other for like a hot minute. You have whole ass children with another man. Yes. He, like, It's not like you knew him for like your entire life. Like he, you met him and he was shot. Respectfully. If I was with a man who spoke about an ex like that I would kill him. Yeah, well, you already did. No, but you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Imagine, imagine. I would almost be insecure about it. I'd be like... Why do you keep talking about him? Yeah, like... Are you trying to fuck a ghost? Do you... What's happening? Do you wake me and think about him? Do you do seances alone in the room? Are we talking... Do you have a Ouija board out? Are we toxic for thinking that? No! Okay, just wondering. So that's the tea on that, okay? And now we're gonna flash forward a little bit. It's the night of September 7th, 1996. Got it. How old were you then? 1996. Six. So you were six when Tupac died. How did you feel about that? pretty un Unfazed. Unfazed. Cool. so yeah, September 7th, 1996. Tupac was in Las Vegas. He went to the Bruce Seldon versus Mike Tyson fight with Suge Knight at MGM Grand. Suge Knight's a whole different story for a whole different day. I was going to say Chris Rock called Will Smith. Yeah. Will Knight. Yeah. He's a story for a different day. Or Shug Smith or something. He's not well. He's, he fucking sucks. Okay? Yeah. Got it. He's terrible. yeah. Straight out of Compton. He's in it too. Of course. You're only. That's how I know. Well Tupac's in it for like a hot minute too. You're only reference. He sucks. Okay? so Mike Tyson actually ends up knocking out the person in like two minutes. Of course. So it doesn't last very long, naturally. They leave, and in the lobby, one of Suge Knight's associates spots this guy whose name is Orlando Baby Lane Anderson. Sure, no follow up questions. So he sees him and he's like, I know that motherfucker. And he was one of the, the south side Compton Crips. You know, the whole gang thing, we won't really get into it, whatever. There's just the two different sides. No, please tell me more about the Crips and the Bloods, Colleen. Please, explain to me more about the gangs. So that's something I won't delve into. Because, you know, I have loyalty. I'm just kidding. The whitest person. But just know that they saw them and were like, fuck no. So they see B B Baby Lane, and they're out. Okay? no, that's not actually what happened. They see them, and they're like, he's like, what the fuck? So, the associate tells Tupac, he's like, Hey, that's the guy that tried to rob us earlier that year. You see him? You know? And so... Whatever happens, happens. The surveillance footage that shows up from the night is basically just like a quick little altercation, Tupac's yelling. It's all very quickly swept under the rug, okay? But just know there was an interaction, if you will, and it was a hostile one. It wasn't very friendly, like they weren't hugging or anything, you know? Great. They leave, Tupac stops by his hotel room, and then him and Shug decide that they're gonna go to the Death Row nightclub, Club 662. It's also important to note Shug's relevance in this is also at the same time like Biggie Smalls was popping off, you know, at the same time. So what Diddy is to Biggie. So Diddy, I think, owned the record, the label company that Biggie was through, right? Yeah. So that was like, they were, they were boys, okay? Tupac and Suge is the same thing. Okay, gotcha. So I think Suge at the time might have owned Death Row Records slash, I don't know if he was just like the, the, he was just like the head honcho there, okay? Okay, got it. So that is where Tupac was through. So they're equivalent, basically. Yes. Parallel. Correct. so they're going to Death Row Nightclub. 662. Cool. so it's about 11. 15pm. They're at a stoplight on their way to the club. Right on the Vegas Strip. When a four door, white, Cadillac sedan pulls right up next to them, rolls down the window, and just fires into the car. Tupac is shot four times, once in the arm, once in the thigh, and twice in the chest, and one of them entered his right lung. So he's all fucked up. just shards hit Shug's head. He's fine. So dramatic. Oh my god, Colleen. He's fine. So Tupac goes to the University Medical Center of Southern Nevada where he was sedated, he was put on life support. He chills for like five days. He's in the ICU. He's not doing well, dog. He's bleeding internally and You know, he dies of complications a couple days later. He's pronounced dead at 4 or 3 p. m. on September 13th, 1996. He is cremated immediately right the next day. and his friends and some members of his crew smoked his ashes after mixing them with weed. No, no, no, you did not just say that to me. No, like they literally rolled him up. They impaled him? Yeah. Yeah. No. No, they did. No. They did. I mean, that's, hey. No. If that's how you want to go, you go. Listen, I have cancers of people at this point. No, you do not inhale a human. I mean, if you want to put me in like some tequila and shoot me back, go ahead. Well then I'd be with you forever. No, you wouldn't! you. I'm just saying To get a grip. They smoked him down. Oh, God. And they all took a piece of him. Great. That sounds like a real bonding activity. Ugh! So that's that. Do you have any questions about that? So far. Uh, nope. Nope. No follow up there. Okay, cool. Pretty straightforward. Off the rip, Tupac. People are obviously quaking, right? but who the fuck did it? They have suspects, nothing really pans out. If I see a prominent gang member pulling up and shooting somebody, I'm keeping my mouth shut. I'm not saying a goddamn thing. Oh yeah, and I'd be babbling, but I keep my mouth shut on that one. I don't want that drama. She's a fucking babbler, gang. so nothing happens. Like, they have a bunch of suspects. But no one really gets charged. Nothing really pans out. Until July 18th, 2023. That's so crazy. That is so crazy. The Las Vegas police department executed a search warrant in connection with Tupac's murder. That's all that they're told on July 18th. And then on September 29th Las Vegas police arrest a suspect. His name is Dwayne Keffy D Davis on the charges of murder with the use of a deadly weapon in connection of the killing of Tupac. It's extremely important to note that this man. Kefi D is the uncle of Orlando Baby Lane Anderson. Gasp. Gasp. Gasp. Gasp. I just gasped. In alignment to this, important to note. Back in October, 2011, there was a former LAPD detective. His name was Greg Kading. I'm just gonna call him Greg. He was an investigator in the murder of Biggie. He released a book, you know, saying all these things that had happened, everything he was involved in. and he alleges that Diddy paid Keith d to kill Tupac as well as Suge for a million dollars. So p Diddy's in on this because PDDP, Diddy and Biggie are basically like rivals essentially. So he's like, take him out. In the music industry. So he's like, take him the fuck out. Mm hmm. That's all alleged, but he, it's his officer, he has good word that this, he was involved in all, both investigations. He's like, this is what happened, but there's no proof. Yes. And he also claims that Orlando, baby lady Anderson, was in the vehicle that pulled up next to the BMW when he was shot. And he claims that Anderson was the one that fired shots. The shots that killed Tupac, specifically. Oh my god! But again, nothing on record, he's just, it's his it's hearsay, I don't know how he got the information I don't know if it was through What's it when they have people undercover, not undercover, but like informants, like I don't know, I don't know I don't know this, but he wrote about it in a book is all. Okay, okay. And I just feel like that's some hot shit to put out, unless it's correct. And the LAPD wasn't exactly known for their, no cause it's not the LAPD it's Vegas, right? Yes, but this was an officer that was involved with Biggie, so he was over in. Yeah, they weren't known for their, like, fairness or... No, no, no. telling the truth. Correct. If we learned anything from O. J. Simpson... If we learned anything from Straight Outta Compton, that is correct. Yeah, okay, great. Really shaking with a grain of salt. You should really watch that movie, I'm just saying. Okay, great. So all of this occurs. And people are like, but is he actually dead? You know? Do you believe he's still alive? I don't know. So you're one of those people going, Is he actually dead? But like, the proof is in the pudding, where the fuck is he? You know? So it's a common conspiracy that he is, in fact, alive and he faked his own death. Okay? Why would he do that? So, some of the theories... Sorry, not to me. No, no, you're... I'm not gonna try to... You're asking my questions. Okay. Okay. Some of the theories are... Well, I actually want to say I was on a Reddit thread, and this is the first thing I saw. It was, the question was, does anyone here actually believe that Tupac is still alive? Someone wrote, yeah, he lives in Ladera Heights and drives a Tesla. I saw him at Whole Foods last week. What in the world? I think someone should investigate that one. Imagine I'm saying Tupac at Whole Foods. He was just vibing at the, at the bar, at the, the hot food bar, salad bar, which is fire, by the way. They have such good mac and cheese and chicken tenders and that's why I'm fat. But that's not the point. Stopping. No, they do have fire food. I'm, I'm, I'm being serious. Okay. They have good food too. I'll take your word for it. They have great rotisserie chicken. Yes. Let's get into the theories as to why people think that, okay? His neck tattoo, his prominent neck tattoo is missing in his autopsy photos. Okay. Okay. You can't see it says, it says Machiavelli. We'll get into what that means later. I can't. People are so dramatic. So they're like, it must not be him. He's missing this big fat ass tattoo on his neck. Obviously that's not him. Okay. He is missing from the social security death index. Okay, what the fuck is that? I guess there's an index of social security numbers. Yeah, no, I know, but why is he missing? I don't know. I didn't even know it existed, so I was like, oh shit, damn. Like, you can find family, you can find your friends, you can find even other celebrities, including Biggie, but not him. Interesting. Not only, but the security, the social security number listed on the coroner's report is still active. So not only is he not on the death index, he's still active, weird, on the list. there were never, this one I think is farfetched, there were never any pictures released of him in the hospital. Which like, That's a stretch. If I'm on life support, like, no paparazzi, please. Yeah, keep your fucking photos to yourself. Thank you. I think that's not that crazy, like, Oh, really? He wasn't dying. I saw no pictures. Like, tattoo. So all these reasons added up. It's fueling the fire of possibility that he never died. But also, people adored him, so like, they were probably looking for reasons for him, like, to not be dead. Yeah, and I think that's what part of my trouble with conspiracy theories are, sometimes. It's just people trying to be like, No, this other crazy thing had to have happened. Because this is too awful to consider. Yeah. Like, it has to be something crazier than this. There's no way. Yeah. That, like, he couldn't have died. He was bent for so much more. Which, like, fair enough. So, the Machiavelli stuff. Machiavelli was his alias. It's, like, a name he resonated with. And Machiavelli was a Renaissance philosopher. Who wrote a book called The Prince. And in the book, he claims that you can get one over on your enemies by faking your own death. That's like his whole thing. You, he like advocates that staging one's death in order to evade one's enemies and gain power. Like that's how you do it. The ultimate power. Okay. Sure. that was the true and only way to do it. So he reads this book while he's in prison and it really resonates with him. That's the story. Okay. Gotcha. So, did he fake his own death for power, question mark? I don't know. Okay, sure, sure, sure. So, we'll, yeah, we'll get there. One of the theories suggests that Tupac switched with a double and was flown out of Las Vegas by helicopter after learning that someone was planning to assassinate him., because I had mentioned before, he, is more of like a philosopher, not a rapper. He has a lot of strong opinions, a lot of strong ideas, and like some, majority of people like adored him, or obsessed, but there were other people that really clashed with his personality, like they thought he was coming on too strong, very like, how we feel about Kanye. Yeah. Fair enough. Not that they're comparable, I'm not comparing them, I'm just saying. No, they're not comparable at all, but I understand the sentiment. Yeah. And so because of this, and the fact that he was an activist. People assume that like, his death was planned. so maybe he like, faked it to like, seek revenge on these people. Like, he knew it was coming because, I don't know. he was also involved in the whole East Coast versus West Coast rivalry thing that happened with like, the blood and the creeps and whatever. No, please, continue on that. They were, uh, not, they weren't vibing. They were not friends? No, they didn't follow each other on Instagram. That's, that's, that's not the vibe I'm getting. Okay, great. Yeah, uh, so they, he had many enemies from that, in general. Not getting into it, sorry. There's also a theory that Shugg, who had a vault filled with hundreds and hundreds of unreleased Tupac songs, knew that creating the whole idea that he was dead, like, would generate a lot of intrigue. So, that way when he released all this, Music, it would become more popular for like years and years and years longer after he had died. So it was like, almost like a financial move. I don't really know what you call it. I think that's kind of crazy. I think that they'd rather him be alive than dead, but whatever. People love you when you're dead. Well, cause you know what you can do if you're alive? Keep making music. Yeah. Fair. And I was trying to think of someone to compare that to. Like, who do we know that died that people are like, ah, the song. Amy Winehouse. Yeah. Like that. Like a legacy almost, if you will. Whitney. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. That's a good one. Other reasons. Maybe he did it. Maybe he left the site because he didn't abide to his family desires. Maybe he didn't want to be that activist that he was always being. His family pushed him to do that. Maybe he didn't want to. Maybe he left because, uh, Sources told him the government wasn't happy with his influence, and he was scared. Uh, maybe he angered people with all his different beliefs, and he went off the grid to save his own life. People really don't fucking know, but they really are convinced that he is. So he's out here just having a little pina colada in Mexico? Yeah, apparently. Okay. So, say he's alive. Where the fuck is he? Right. Tupac's bodyguard shared that he helped the rapper fake his death and smuggle him to Cuba. What? Tupac had an aunt, has an aunt, named Asada Shakur, and that had been hiding out from the FBI in Cuba since 1979. A perfect location for Tupac to hide out in. Sure. So those two things together, totally plausible. Suge Knight's son claimed that Tupac was alive in a series of like, really whack ass Instagram posts. I didn't look them up, but apparently. It sounds like someone who wants clout, but sure. I agree with that one. But again, adding it to the list, where there's smoke, there's fire, Bridget. People on a multitude of occasions, were convinced that they saw him in South Africa. Did you see him in South Africa? I did not see him in Cape Town, no. He was also Tupac did not make himself known to me in Cape Town. Sorry to hear. Yeah. You could have been that person that found him. Oh my god, imagine. He was also prone to rapping lyrics that referenced plots to overthrow his enemies or by or surviving being shot in general, which like, what rap song isn't about, like, being shot? Like, at least does it make one Get creative, won't you? Yeah, literally, like, Fuck money, get bitches, or whatever it is that they rap about these days. I don't know. I really have no fucking idea. Yeah, that's clear. No, but I like, I like rap music. I'm just saying, like, Yeah, I, I getcha. You know? Like, Nicki Minaj has a song about truffle butter. Like, come on, people. We're not, like, preaching the Lord's words. I love Nicki. I do, too. Whop. Like, come on. That's Cardi. Yeah, that's true. Beef. Yeah, big ol beef. and then there was this documentary that came out, okay? It's called Tupac, The Great Escape from UMC. This filmmaker, his name's Rick Boss, he claims That Tupac is fully hiding out in New Mexico, he makes a whole documentary about it. He said in the interview, let's just say that the family is fully aware and supportive of the movie, and they're okay with the title, so that should tell you enough. So he's just hanging out in Albuquerque? Yeah, just he insinuated that it's true and that the family didn't ar the family didn't argue this at all. There's no words that they came out saying like, this is shameful, nothing. Maybe they just want to be left alone. Agreed. So, I could go on and on about it, but I won't. either way that you slice it, it's interesting to think about what the world would have been like with another 5 or 10 years of Tupac. Wait, but I need you, I read a quote from Snoop Dogg that made me laugh. I love Snoop Dogg. Anything he says, I'm like, yes, dude. Yeah, same. He said, my homeboy is resting in peace. I know people still want him to be here, and they love him so much to where his legacy overwhelms everything, but you've got to understand, when God takes you home, he takes you home. Aww, I love him. I do too, I just wanted to finish on that note. That's a good note to end on. But is he alive? I don't know. Yeah, what do you think? I don't know, I think it's plausible. I think he could be. But I would hope that wherever he is, if it's in Cuba or in heaven, he's at peace. Do you know Snoop Dogg once said that, When he retires, he wants to own an ice cream place and be called Scoop Dog. Did that just come out your nose? That just burned so no, it didn't come out, but it went at me. Yeah, I can hear it. You sound all nasally. Oh my god, it just went down. Oh, John, stop, stop. I'm gonna gag. Wow. Scoop Dog. Scoop Dog. That really got me okay. You ready for my last one? Yes. Birds aren't real. I'm, I'm so behind this. I fucking hate birds. I hope they're not real. So, Then why did we chat? Plot twist, they are in fact real, but this started off as very much, Okay, let me get into it. The two things that I used was a TED talk with Peter, who I'll get into, And a New York Times Lorenz called, Birds aren't real, or are they? Ooh. So, Peter McIndoo is 23 years old. He is behind, he started Birds on Rail in 2017. And he grew up in a very rural and deeply conservative area in Arkansas. And I think he started in Cincinnati and then they moved to Arkansas. He was homeschooled and he was taught that quote, evolution was a massive brainwashing plan by the Democrats and Obama was the Antichrist. What? Just to give you like a high level overview of life. Evolution's just not real. According to them. Okay, so we just popped up. No judgment, that's what they were taught. That's, that's what they believe. So we just like, poofed and we're here? God, honey, they believe in God. Oh right, God did say that. Yes. Cool. Bible. Adam and Eve. He says, Peter, in his TED Talk, that it was really common for most people in his town to have Conspiracy theory that they believed in that was not uncommon as You know Colleen he was part of the age group that grew up with the internet and he says that's where he got most of His real world education through documentaries and YouTube and it sounds like he had a sense from early on that Maybe he was only getting one side of things and there was different ways to look at things So he would seek that out on the internet and in 2016 He left home to go to school at the University of Arkansas And in January of 2017, he went to visit his friends in Memphis, Tennessee, and that was when Trump was getting sworn into office, and there was a women's march happening, and pro Trump supporters were counter protesting the women's march, and there was just a lot of chaos happening in the city. And Peter rips a poster off of the wall, flips it over, and just writes, birds aren't real. Oh. And he does it as a joke. He then starts walking around and telling everyone that he's part of this greater movement, that he believed that birds had been replaced by surveillance drones, and that this is a cover up going on since the 70s. I don't like this man. Unbeknownst to him, he's actually being filmed and the video gets posted on Facebook. Oh. And it goes viral, especially among teenagers in the South. So his brand. His age group, his demographic. So like he's saying this and I believe him, graffiti starts popping up everywhere that says birds aren't real. People start making birds aren't real stickers. It's starting to catch fire. Peter decides then to lean all the way in and him and his friend Connor, right, false history of the movement. They like write down how this came about. They create all these elaborate theories. They produce fake documents, so he's gaslighting us. Yes. Okay. It's a joke, though. Okay. He's doing it as satire. But do people know that? Some do, some do not. Okay, cool. So, gaslighting. this is what they tell everyone. The theory is that the U. S. government killed billions of birds in the U. S. to spy on the American people. They were replaced by look alike drones. When they land on a power line, they're charging. And that's why birds are always sitting on power lines. Because that's how they charge, that's their charging station. They track civilians with a liquid tracking device, aka, have, uh, has a bird ever shit on your car? That's why. They're tracking you. Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? No! That's because they come out of the factory as adults. And JFK, they claim, was killed because he had a lot of reluctance in killing all the birds. No. They wouldn't do that to him over that. So in 2018, Peter drops out of college and he moves to Memphis. And to build Birds Aren't Real even further, he creates a flyer. It goes crazy on Reddit. He hires an actor to portray a former CIA agent who confessed to working on bird drone surveillance. Would you like to see it? I would like to see it. Cause I believe. So that video that I just showed you of the CIA agent confessing to working on bird drone surveillance, 20 million views on TikTok. Oh. He also hired actors to represent adult bird truthers in videos and that spread all over Instagram. They made merch and they made so much to the point where Peter and Connor were able to do this full time and pay all of their expenses. Oh. He got an RV, it had birds aren't real on the side of it with fax, so he was like a moving billboard of fax all the time. He also got billboards in a bunch of different places all over the country. I think it was three places. He held a protest outside of the Twitter headquarters to protest the bird logo. There is Oh! That's fuckin funny. There is a crowd of people who watch him, again another protest, light a St. Louis Cardinals flag on fire because it was a bird. Let us pray. They held a 2, 000 person rally in New York where thousands of people chanting birds aren't real and calling on lawmakers to shut down every pigeon in the city. Shut down the pigeons? Shut down the pigeons. The people joining the movement were in the bird brigade. Okay. And some of their slogans were... If it flies, it spies. Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! And birdwatching goes both ways. Oh! Genius! Genius! But also, like, Okay, so, like, a bird shits on my car. It's not catching much. It's tracking, that's how they track you. I know, I'm just saying though, like, what are they watching me like, fucking text and drive? Great. Great, you're watching me Stop texting and driving, it's not cute. No, I'm in traffic in the morning. Like, oh, you're watching me watch TikTok and smile at myself when I'm in traffic on 93 every morning? Watching porn. You're getting great Accidentally. You're getting great content. That's definitely a great use of your time. But, people forever have always said the government is tracking us, and they are. You have an iPhone, if I can track you, guess who else can fucking track you? You don't need pigeons. They're, they're listening. I'll tell you, I've been talking about how my calves are fat and you know what's all over my feeds? Wide calf boots, extra wide calf. We're being targeted and we don't fucking appreciate it. Did I purchase one? Yes. It worked! It did. Commercialism. Okay. Okay. So, Peter never breaks character, not one time. I saw an interview of him, it is so awkward. In the host of whatever morning show news segment it is, is like, you can't honestly believe this, right? This is satirical, like, you can't believe this. He takes this long pause and he's like, Honestly, I find that super offensive. And the woman's like, Oh, oh. So this is really happening. So you do. Uh, in another interview, they ask about the movement. He just pukes. Everywhere. I'm sorry. Without breaking character. Pukes. Can we watch that one? No, we cannot. You can watch it in your own time. Okay. He wanted to see, the point being, he wanted to see if media outlets would pick it up and spread it as, well, you know, news. And they did. And people went nuts with it. And after doing this for a year, I mean, this started in 2017. He has this whole ass following, he has the Bird Brigade, some are in on the joke, some are fully invested. He finally breaks character. And in 2021. He did a, the New York Times interview, the one I cited earlier. He also did a 60 minute interview where he starts off in character and then breaks and explains at the end of it that the whole point was to quote, take this concept of misinformation and almost building a little safe space to come together within it and laugh at it rather than be scared by it and accept the lunacy of it all and be a bird truther for a moment in time when everything is so crazy. Turns out he's actually quite brilliant and now he's using his powers for good. In one part of his TED talk He says we need to understand the crisis of belonging before you understand the crisis of belief Meaning instead of thinking wow, these people are nuts. Why would you ever believe X Y Z? Understanding them as people first, and why would they believe something like this, and how did they grow up, and what were they exposed to, and what made them vulnerable to believe it in the first place? And he talks about people coming up to him, and very seriously, with him still in character, them saying to him, you're so fucking uneducated, you're the problem with America, like, you're so stupid, this is so ridiculous, like, how the fuck would you ever believe something like this? And his TED talk says, If your aim is to get me to stop believing in all of this craziness, or change my mind, or not be a conspiracy theorist, you have a horrible approach. You've now made me feel like shit, you've made me feel like an other, and you've actually fueled what you are trying to stop. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, as for what's next for Peter, he wants to help news outlets and content creators navigate the internet, and he said, quote, I have a lot of excitement for what the future of this could be as an actual force for good. Yes, we have been intentionally spreading past four years, but it's with a purpose. It's about holding up a mirror to America in the internet age. When I tell you this took the world by, like, people were completely convinced that birds weren't real. That's crazy. Because this kid went to a rally and flipped over a poster and wrote it and just started talking about it just to see what would happen. And he does say at some point that they were always checking to make sure it never crossed a full line. Like it was innocent enough to believe without ruining people's lives. It's, it's different than not believing COVID's real, right? There's a difference. He's like, we always kept it on the line of having a backing but never going so far where You know, it went to our heads and we, we took it to a really dangerous place. Yeah. People genuinely believe to this. That's insane. Like there's merch. You can go buy birds aren't real merch. I think I would believe it. Yeah, I mean at the beginning when I told you it was not real, you were still believing me. So. I just love the catchphrases, if it flies, it spies, and birdwatching goes both ways are fucking genius. That's creepy. So yeah, that's that is the beginning and the end of the birds aren't real conspiracy theory I mean that doesn't have to be an end. You can still believe in your heart. Okay. Well if you believe You do you it's giving poor. Who the fuck am I to judge? I'm in a robe In sunglasses. Unemployed. At 845 at night unemployed drinking Cheers to that the last one I wanted to cover that really caught my eye, if you will. Money laundering at mattress firm. Okay, this is so fucking real. Why are there so many of them? Why are they everywhere? There's no way this many people are buying mattresses. I am 100 percent on this train. Me too. Okay. 100%. Let's get into it, shall we? Give it to me. So, money laundering for dummies, okay? Wait, oh my god, that's so funny that, do people not know this? Did we just grow up around so much crime that we know this and most people don't? I don't know, I'm just, just in case. I know, I'm glad you're doing it because I'm saving the girlies and the guys. Obviously, because I'm assuming guys listen to. a Google search, so you're welcome. The girls, the gays, and the guys. And the G's, holla. The union. Our union. so, money laundering, okay? A legal process of making large amounts of money generated by criminal activity such as drug trafficking or any other illegal Uh, illegal activities you may be doing. and then taking that illegal money and then having it You gotta clean it. Yeah, appear to be coming from a legitimate legal source. So, you can't do crime, say you sell guns and you get money for them, you can't put that money into your bank account. You have to flush it first. You have to clean it through a legitimate, legitimate, a legitimate business. Yes. Get your dirty money clean. Get your dirty money clean. Hence what people think mattress firm is for. Yeah. Mattress firms, ugh. Car washes. Laundry mats. Restaurants, you name it. Like Mary Lou's is a front for the Hells Angels to move their money. Right. A lot of casinos, like if you've ever seen Ozark, that's constant cash coming in, coming out. If you've ever seen The Town, they take it to a strip club. Strip clubs and dollar bills, gonna get my money. It's been a while since I've been to a strip club. That's gonna be me on Friday night, weeping on a pole, so I can make rent. I would give you dollars. I would throw dollars at you. I would put them in the band of your thumb. I mean, I have, I have handmade titties. You better. Uh, mine were, I feel like, sculpted by God if he was wearing, like, an eye patch with, like, stigmatism in the other eye. Colleen, say something nice about your boobs, please. I have a good nipple to boob ratio. I love that for you. Yeah, there's nothing worse than somebody who has baloney nips. With little tiny titties. Baloney shaloney nips. Get those. Tuck em away. Free the nipple everybody. Put them out. Titties on the table. Titties on the table. Titties on the table. Woo! And titties on the table. Woo! And titties on the table. We're not. We're so unhinged. Surprisingly, money laundering wasn't considered illegal until 1986. So everyone was just like, free laundering. The 70s were fucking wild. I, I can't even imagine a time like the 70s. No. I wish we were there. I don't. We would 100 percent be kidnapped. I don't know. I don't think so. Okay. I just think we'd be baddies by the time we made it through the 70s. Okay. Fair enough. I mean, like, our parents are a little unhinged. Yeah, parent. I thought you were gonna say it! Did you just? Use the singular form of parent to me, cause I, my dad is dead. I kick you while you're down. Did you just correct the way? No, then I was like, oh, I guess I should just, I don't know if you get like, sad. So I was like, our parent. I'm not that unstable. I know you're not, I'm just saying. Sorry I was being hyper aware of the words that were coming out of my mouth. Parents, no offense. I said, well, parent. Oh my god. Oh, that was funny. Okay, continue. And cheers to that. Yeah, not illegal until 1986, fucking crazy. And why the fuck do people think mattress firm is a money laundering scheme? But you ask. Point one being the number of stores and their locations, which you just said. it's considered obviously the largest specialty mattress retailer in the United States and it has over almost 4, 000 stores. Across the nation, but almost half of those of the 4, 000 are within a one mile radius of each other So they're in just like a big old cluster. Yeah, so in somewhere in Indiana There's five different matches firm stores within a mile of each other on different corners get out of here Like, it's not like getting coffee every day, like the, it's not like a person, you know you go down the street, you see like two Dunkin Donuts, maybe a Starbucks, like a Mary Lou's, like all on the same street, you're not alarmed, people are getting coffee every day, multiple times a day, but people are buying mattresses, like every ten years. It's not like people are on a daily basis need them. No, that's what I mean, you do not need a mattress that often. The need is simply not there. So, the CEO, it's been brought up to him. His name is Ken Murphy. He denied the whole money laundering thing. He says it's absolutely false, obviously. Sure, Ken. He said that the reasoning behind all of the locations is, and I quote, Our convenient locations in highly trafficked areas keep us top of mind when it's actually time to buy a mattress. Sorry? You just need like a thousand locations on the same street as a marketing ploy? Like get signs on the highway. Nope. Nope. That is complete bullshit. Why do you need to purchase legitimate businesses and pay for them to be operated as a piece of marketing like there's cheaper ways to No, the rent, the people who work there. Like, it's just... Do you want to work at a mattress firm, Bridget? No. I don't want to help money launderers. Yeah, but no one would be bothering you. They're not busy. Maybe I can just lay on one of the beds all day too. That's what I'm saying. It'd be a great job. Hurry up. I'll think about it. Yeah, so I'm just saying, like, there's options. There's cheaper ways to market as well. Like, maybe a sign. Like, there's no need to have it in stores. Yeah, a billboard, if you will. a commercial. Yeah. You know, just some of the classics. Anything. Get a big old sign on the highway instead of a store. Like, I don't know. Someone get a new CMO in this bitch. Yeah, for real. so that's one reason. Another red flag is that Mattress Firm has been on an acquisition spree. It's acquired, uh, Sleepy's, Sleep Train, a bunch of different rivals, just somehow. Somehow acquired all these places. Multiple stores equals more places to shuffle their money. Yeah, a hundred percent. Like, you aren't generating that much of an income to acquire even just one other large name in the mattress industry, let alone all of them. You acquired essentially all of them, taking them off the board. I don't get it. So, like, WTF? And then, after that, Mattress Firm itself was bought by this South African retailer, Steinhoff. They bought it for almost 4 billion. Oh! What? It's worth for less than 2 billion. So why did they purchase it for almost four? Why? I don't know. So people are quaking. They're like, something's up. That's not fucking normal. Steinhoff itself is a little problematic. Okay. It's had, you know, it's a fair share problems, 62 percent drop in stock price, a bunch of Accounting irregularities? Yeah, sure. Sure. It's, uh, it resulted in a bunch of, like, resignations. Like, all the execs are gone, the chairman, this, that, and the other thing. They're dropping like flies. On top of that, they start facing a little bit of a legal issue, but can you guess what that is? A legal issue. Taxes. Tax evasion. Yes. Money! Money laundering! Yes. There's money coming in, but they're not reporting. Yes. Oh boy. So they buy it, and then are essentially like caught for having some quote unquote irregularities. Sure. Buying it for twice. The. Fucking worth like even I know yeah, like I bought 12 mattresses when you actually only bought eight and the rest of it is money Laundry, sir. I live paycheck to paycheck and I know that ain't right so not for nothing, on top of all of that, mattresses are annoying purchases. I only say this because if you think about it, You have to make a big purchase, right? Not a lot of people get excited about buying a fucking mattress. It's expensive. You can't show it off. It's not like there's anything you show for it. You buy a dishwasher or fridge, cool, people see it. It's fine. You buy a new bag. You buy a new house. You buy a new car. Like, people see that shit. Right? Very expensive. Nothing to show for it. Mattresses are an inconvenient Expensive item to purchase so like no, it's just they're not being purchased. They're also, to make them is no money and to buy them is so much money. So they're really sleazy about the way they sell them as well. Yes, a hundred percent. You've seen those signs like 80 percent off. At the windows. Everything must go. Yeah, it's like, really? You've been lying to me. There's this one place by the fucking mall that has had an everything must go sign my entire life. I am not exaggerating. Things are still going. Oh, there's still stuff outside. I'm like, if I walked away with this right now, would any of you even fucking know? 60%. Yes, swear on my life. It's a mattress store. Not a mattress store. It's a furniture store by the parking garage. Garage, across from Hibachi, South Shore Plaza, if you know, you fucking know. I'm not crazy. Anyone that's gone to that fucking Target knows what I'm talking about. You have to take a picture the next time you go. Everything must go! Like, it's not going nowhere. By Friday. Do you remember when they used to have those, Twenty years later. Those, those shoe chairs? That look like a shoe? Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Always have those outside. Mm. Mm hmm. That's all. Mm hmm. Got it. So, like, all these places, all the mattress firms are, like, putting shit outside saying, like, it's now two grand instead of four grand. Like, fuck off. It was never worth four grand in the first place. Money launderers. Fucking frauds! I just looked it up, and it says, according to Consumer Reports, one study shows that to manufacture... One mattress is 300. It's markup to the ass. And it's 3, 000 ticket price. It's a 900 percent markup. That's disgusting. I, my mattress that I currently have that is a gorgeous mattress is a 300 mattress that you buy in a box and you let it expand. Mine's expensive. And I swear by it. However, You just picked my nose, I'm sorry. That's disgusting. However, I swear By having a nice mattress. Not that you have to spend a lot to get a nice mattress, just that it is the one thing that you use without fail every single day. Correct. Every single day. Get a nice mattress pad. Yeah. And again, you don't have to spend a shit ton of money to do that, but everyone deserves one nice mattress that they can sleep really well on. Period. Also, please do get a new mattress after like ten years. Also. Flip it. Flip that shit. Flip your goddamn mattresses. It's nasty out here in these streets. It is nasty. There's a stain on mine, and it's yellow, and it looks like I peed, but it's literally just old coffee that I cannot get out, no matter how much I scrub it. Like, no matter what. Yeah, same. And every time I move, which was three fucking times this year, men are carrying it, and I'm like, It's not pee! It's not pee! It's not pee! Please! Believe me! And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, I don't know, I'm on a continent. Only on roller coasters. Only on the Yankee Cannonball. It's like I was screaming it from the rooftops, and nobody believes me! So what do you think, we got money laundering? A hundred percent. I don't believe a fucking thing these people say. This is the one conspiracy theory I am 100 percent behind. So off to... Off to Mattress Firm. Let's clean that money honey! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Damn dogs dude, that could be the side hustle we need. Don't even get me started. I do have a game. Mhmm. And Colleen did not take part of this, but... Okay! Sorry, I was working. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. That was a good one though. I hate you. this is specifically for Colleen because Colleen hates how positive I am sometimes and she just wants to blind rage and hate for no reason and I'm always like, stop doing that. Like I bet they're a nice person or hate her to my core. So I don't know. Everyone has been pissing me off. I love that. So I decided to create a game of annoying inconveniences I wish on people when I'm angry. Okay. Because I never wish truly horrible things, but these are the things that I've thought about recently. Okay. That you burn toast every time you cook it. Oh, that's the worst. I hate when that happens. Any bagel, any English muffin, toast, whatever it is, I hope you fucking burn it. It's so wasteful as well. I hope you stub your toe. That's a horrible pain. I hope you hit every single red light when you're in a rush somewhere. You should run them though. Colleen! They're a waste of time. I can't. And money, and everything. That you step on a Lego barefoot. Okay. That you can't find a bathroom when you really have to shit. Just shit your pants. Just shit your pants. You don't want anyone near you? Perfect. Just shit your pants. You don't want to be at work anymore? Just shit your pants. What are they gonna say? You say, sorry I have to go. What's the reason I just shit my pants? Do what you gotta do. They're not gonna want to be around you. Did I tell you? I don't know if I already said this on the podcast, so I'm sorry if I did. Did you shit your pants in Arizona? Is that what you're saying? No, no. Danny was playing hockey recently. He's four. And he's potty trained. And he said, I have to go to the bathroom. And so they brought him off the ice. And then when he got off, he was like, Okay, can we go home now? And he was having a shit to get him off the ice. And I wanted to be like, That won't get you far, like, you can't do that in life. And I'm like, You absolutely can. You can tell anyone. I'm gonna shut myself. I have to go to the bathroom and someone will be like, Okay, have at it. Yeah. Whatever you gotta do, boo. That's fair. So, he's, he's smarter than I was. Talk about a sweet escape. Oh, love him. Uh, that someone eats your leftovers that you've been looking forward to all day. Uh oh. Yeah, that's rude. Drinks last, diet coke. Fiona actually texted me the other day and was like, I just took the last one. It will be replenished before you get home. I was like, don't worry about it. I sound like a, I steal them from work anyways. I don't even buy them. She's the best. That you get excited to start dating someone and then realize they're part of a 5k turkey run family. Sickening. Wrecks them. WHen you go to the grocery store and you bump into your least favorite person from high school and you're forced to make conversation with them. There is no avoiding them. You have to talk to them. That's disgusting as well. When you randomly get pulled for TSA pat downs, even though you're in a rush. I hope that happens. Oh. They do that? Yeah. They just pull you randomly. Oh, that's rude. Happened to Joe the other night. Ugh. Uh, I hope that you wake up and you think it's Friday, but it's actually Tuesday. I hope that the morning when you get to sleep in, a telemarketer calls you at 7am. I hope that when you need to use a pen to write something important down, it's out of ink. I hope that every night for a week when you lay down to go to bed, you're almost asleep and you're super comfortable and you realize you have to pee really bad. That's the fucking worst. Wow. I hope the next time you have a crush, they don't like you back. Gas! That's so hateful, I love it. That's why I said crush. I would never say that about, like, a love or someone you're... Oh, no, like, I hope your boyfriend tweets on you, for sure. If you're a horrible person. Yeah, I do. Colleen! If you're a horrible person and you're horrible to me, like, evil, I hope you get cheated on for the rest of your life. Oh my god. I don't know if I can go that far yet. If someone did something to Erin... You wouldn't wish the, like, legitimate death upon them? No, I would kill them. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, like, someone does something horrible to you, well, actually, I don't, do it to me, I don't really care, but, like, do it to somebody else, I'll kill you. But in a way that, like, you won't realize that I'm killing you. Like, I will put your phone number on every single... You'll ruin their lives. Online, online telemarketers list, like, so you'll be getting calls, you'll be getting emails, like, I will find a way. I've never done it to anybody because no one's ever really done me that dirty, but just now it's in there. Like, it is, there is a burning sensation that is ready to be blown the fuck out. There is an itch that has not been scratched. Let a bitch try me. I swear. The time will come. I hope that when your favorite song comes on the radio, someone changes it before your favorite part. Oh, that's rude. Damn straight it is. I'm rude now. So. I love it. Fucking figure it out, Colleen. I love rude Bridget. I hope that when you wash your face, the water trickles down to your elbows. Or you get it on your shirt, or if you're wearing silk, and it's like wet silk. I also hope when you're washing dishes the spoon gets you every time and soaks you. Eugh! I hope that you hit your funny bone really hard and your arm goes numb. I hope that you go to plug in your phone because it's almost dead and your charger decides to shit the bed right then and there. I hope that every time you wear socks they slip down to your toes in your shoes. And last but not least, I hope that you get a UTI. Anything to add? Uh, I hope you get gonorrhea. Colleen! That's so mean! Oh, and, I hope you fall on a cactus with no pants or underwear. Oops. I Hope your hairstylist bleaches your hair for too long and it falls off. Did you see that thing where... You know a bitch is crazy when she slashes three of the four tires because she knows. Would you like to describe that to everyone? What that means? because it's more expensive to, get just three instead of four. Mm hmm. Yeah. So it's inconvenient. So you just, or if you buy all four then you just like have an extra tire. Like that sucks. Then you have a spare, so maybe they're helping you out. Do they miss any other inconveniences? you go to do your laundry and you're out of detergent. Oh my god, that's terrible. We're having a coin laundry situation right now. I was gonna say, when you go to do your laundry, and you need coins, and you run out of coins. Do you have a coin one here? No. I just learned that there's a key you can buy on Amazon for any washer. Really? Mm hmm. What do you mean? That, I mean, your landlord has to get it from somewhere, right? We just learned that there's one on Amazon that you can buy. Like a universal one? Mm hmm. But it depends on the type of washer you used to have to search it. You can just buy the same fucking key they have. That's insane. Yeah. That's way too easy. That's what I'm saying! So I'm gonna go do that. sorry to my landlords. but you know what, you're charging me four bucks a pop and it barely works half the time. Sometimes me and Fiona are down there like, mixing it up, hitting it, smacking it, getting it to work, like, fucking manifesting that it turns on. Good lord. Are you ready for some positive stories? Yeah, I think we need some. Okay, so three years ago, this story went viral of these really kind hearted trick or treaters because this person left a sign outside of their house that said, Sorry, no candy, child with cancer. And the whole point of them doing that wasn't for a response. The mom's sole purpose of putting the sign out in the yard, she said, was so kids wouldn't run up to their door and be disappointed. So it seemed odd. The kids were stopping at the sign and so they went out and looked and found piles and piles of candy and it grew and grew and grew. She goes, Seriously, if the parents of anyone who did this sees this, please tell them how much it means to us and our kiddos on the best candy night of the year, kids freely and generously shared with strangers and showed so much love and kindness. This is so amazing. That was three years ago. That baby girl is cancer free. And she went as a superwoman. Shut the fuck up. For Halloween. And this is from good news underscore movement because of course she's so cute isn't she so fucking cute So yeah that started off as like a hey neighborhood We don't have candy into piles and piles and candy for all of the kids and now she's cancer free and gets to enjoy Halloween The right way next one is from up worthy. This is the story this woman named Erica Barry tweeted this Last night I told my elderly neighbor, who has lived here for 40 years, that I was having a yard hang and he should call if music was too loud. He waved me off and it suddenly occurred to me I should invite him. By 8 p. m. He was eating an ice cream bar chatting with my friends by the fire pit He took off at 930 thanking me for the invite. He lives alone in a big house far from the family He told me it had been a wonderful time quote. I really needed this. That's what he said today He called to ask if he could help clean up. I told him we were all set and now we've started a dinner club I just, I'm upset. So invite your neighbors, especially if they're old and they live alone, it could make their whole day. I love old people. And you could do a dinner club with them, how cute! I'm upset. Yeah. Of course you are. but that is the episode of the week, everybody. That's that about that. Yeah, I mean, it's just, it's tough out there, especially if you're watching the news. It's some of the worst shit I've ever seen in my life. Check in on your Jewish friends. Take it day by day. It's fucking bleak. I mean, Lewiston, I mean, people don't come here for the news, for us to talk about news, of course they don't, but it's, it's hard not to say with so much going on. And then you look at that and you're like, why the fuck am I complaining I don't have a job, I don't live in fucking Gaza, and it's just... I know, but you can still complain about things that are... I know, all pain is relative, but it's really ugly out there right now, so just check, check in on yourselves and your friends, and I hope you all have a really good week. All right, everybody. Love you. Mean it. Love you. Mean it. Bye. Bye. Good lord.
Bridget:This podcast was produced by me. Bridget, Shannon. Music is written and performed by Matt You can find his band super Stoker anywhere you listen to music.