On this week's episode, Colleen ate a family sized box of Mac n Cheese, got her butthole bleached and dealt with a blown up dry shampoo can in the kitchen. And that's showbiz, baby! The only thing Bridget dislikes more than being unemployed is daylight savings. Why do we live this way?! Then we get into the topic of the week... BRITNEY JEAN SPEARS: PART 1. The pop princess herself!!! Bridget digs into Britney's family history, how she grew up and how she shot into another stratosphere of fame. We end with a Britney medley, a game of "The types of girls who would be eligible for the draft" and some positive stories. We hope you're all doing better than the two of us!!! Keep your eyes peeled and your heads on a swivel!!!
Sources:
Positive Stories of the Week:
Review and subscribe! You can find us on Instagram @Sippinwiththeshannons or send us your stories at Sippinwiththeshannons@gmail.com. Love you, mean it.
On this week's episode, Colleen ate a family sized box of Mac n Cheese, got her butthole bleached and dealt with a blown up dry shampoo can in the kitchen. And that's showbiz, baby! The only thing Bridget dislikes more than being unemployed is daylight savings. Why do we live this way?! Then we get into the topic of the week... BRITNEY JEAN SPEARS: PART 1. The pop princess herself!!! Bridget digs into Britney's family history, how she grew up and how she shot into another stratosphere of fame. We end with a Britney medley, a game of "The types of girls who would be eligible for the draft" and some positive stories. We hope you're all doing better than the two of us!!! Keep your eyes peeled and your heads on a swivel!!!
Sources:
Positive Stories of the Week:
Review and subscribe! You can find us on Instagram @Sippinwiththeshannons or send us your stories at Sippinwiththeshannons@gmail.com. Love you, mean it.
What if we even had, like, a couch? How much money do you think I have? You know I have no income. I have no income either. You think I would sit on a couch? No, it goes elsewhere. I literally called both my loan companies yesterday and were like, Please! I beg of you! What can I do? Oh, because by the way, the one, the other half of the loans that were, like, on hold because of COVID, aren't there back now? That's not the negativity I need in my life. No, it definitely isn't. I mean, our chairs are very comfy. Yes, but... I think it's the table. I think the table has to go and it's keeping us from really lounging. I agree and I think my undiagnosed autism doesn't like the feeling of the velour. I think it's the velour. It's a blanket. It's a literal blanket. Making my, because I'm always going like this. Do you ever notice that? I always do this. Yeah. I'm sorry. If it wasn't there though, you'd do that with something else. You think? Yes. Okay. I'm just, I'm wondering. I mean, I'll make whatever you need to help you focus, I am here to do. I also, I don't know if you noticed, but I have a pimple right here that keeps coming back on my neck. Okay. And it's cause I sit like this. To look at you, and so the germs from my hand go on my neck. And so every time I'm like, Because I keep getting this, and it's like a big red pimple! And it's not poppable! And it's from the bacteria! On my hand, because I don't wash my hands! I was going to say, maybe wash your fucking hands, you heathen. No. I don't want to do that. I love how you'll do anything else but the things that will actually help you. I saw a tweet today that was like, If I lie and you believe me, how's that my fault? And it really resonated. You're so unwell. Hi everyone! It really resonated. Hi! Welcome to this week's episode of Sippin with the Shannons. We're cousins, and each week we sit down, we sip on some wine, we talk some shit, and we have a good giggle. I'm Bridget Chanin. And I'm Colleen Chanin, and I was just smiling at my microphone, just looking into the abyss. Today's episode is sponsored by, just kidding, we're not there yet, but wait, I'm drinking Chanin Ranch wine. Isn't that so fun? It's a red blend. I would recommend it, except we're not sponsored by them. So it sucks until then just kidding. It's not that great. No, I'm kidding. It's great It's because of our namesake lovely to make sangria with as it turns out. Yeah, I'm really glad that they decided to name it after us yeah, that was so nice of them, it's nice and juicy and What's where it's a juicy union worker of wine. It's voluptuous like us and very spirited. It's hair is so big, it's full of secrets. And cheers to that. Cheers. We're both drinking this week. red wine's like good for your heart, right? Like pregnant people drink it. So that's, that's fine. Okay. So when I told you the story about how my aunt had a baby that was breech and they recommended she have one glass of red wine a day. Yeah. That does mean all pregnant people should be drinking wine. But I'm just saying like if it's recommended to pregnant people, it can't be that bad. Like it's healthy. It's I think I read that somewhere. Anything in moderation is. I don't know what moderation is. I have no self control. So. No. I don't know her. The other day I caught Erin, like, measuring pasta. And I was like, so you don't just, like, pour until your heart desires? You don't pour until you're so sick that you feel like you're gonna vomit. I have to come clean about something. Oh god, what? It's not what so I accidentally I made a mistake at the store and instead of just buying regular andy's mac white mac and organic white cheddar mac and cheese I bought a family size box and I was like oh perfect this will last me like three three events three helpings no I ate the entire I'm a family Did you? The starving size is literally like five. Did you sleep like a baby? Did you go comatose? I fully convinced myself that like it was That was normal. It wasn't different from the regular size box. Family size. Okay. And that's my cross to bear. I'm just, I'm trying to keep it real with you guys. Some days we eat cottage cheese toast and think we're healthy. And some days. Girl dinner. We eat an entire family size cheese. Sometimes though I'll try to like kid myself and add some broccoli. And I'm like, uh, uh. Oh, she's gourmet. Some red pepper flakes. A little sprinkle of pepper. That saves you. Oh my god, I do have something to tell you. Okay. Please. So, I was actually going to talk about, from there, was how I decided to like, whip cottage cheese. Like, I don't know guys, is that a healthy thing? No. Someone told me that cottage cheese was good for you. No, I'm pretty sure it is. Anything in moderation, Colleen, but please continue. No, someone told me it was good for you, that's why I bought it. Sure, continue. So I was gonna like, put it on toast, but like, the t the tism, you know, the textures weren't doing right for me. So I whipped it with my immersion blender, like my smoothie maker. Yeah, how'd that go? It was fun, I put it on toast today, it was like, whatever, it you had whipped cream. No, no, that's different. I know, I'm kidding, but, yes. Yeah. It was giving miracle whip. Cool whip, cool whip, cool whip, cool whip reminds me of Nana. The other day, Fiona and I got in the car somewhere, and, with Aaron, and we were like, Oh, it smells like, like, we both look at each other, the smell was, like, nostalgic, like, We both were like, whoa, I feel comforted, and Aaron goes, It smells fucking disgusting in here, it smells like cigarettes. And me and Fiona both were like, Oh! Oh! That, the fact that, this is, unpack this in, in therapy someday. It resonates! And we didn't say anything, we both just looked at each other and were like, It's so cozy in here. And everyone's like, it smells disgusting in here. Like, I'm pretty sure I said I like the smell in here. Yeah, Nana loved Cool Whip. She put it on, the shortcakes. What the hell are those things called? Oh, I don't know. Strawberry shortcake? Strawberry shortcake. Oh, I never liked the strawberries. That's why I never had it. Naturally. But the iced oatmeal cookies, I was down in those. We loved iced oatmeal cookies from Nana's house. Yeah. Turns out they were store bought and they don't exist anymore and we're gonna write, uh, Dude, they changed their recipe. I think they could actually make like a commercial out of us. Like, that could be a story. Like this family was born and raised on the OG recipe and you're just gonna go ahead and switch it up on us like That could be a big article. Yeah, let me look up. I can see it in the headlines We can't be the only people being like why did they change their recipe? No, anyone who changes their recipe after that many years deserves to be shot. I'm sorry Archway cookies Oatmeal soft with the icing the iced oatmeal. This is what we were raised on We would literally fight each other over the little because they come out in that sliver that And there was only like six or eight in there. Oh my god, we would fight each other over it They're now, nowadays, they're smaller. They don't have as much icing and they're like chewy. Back in the day They were a little bit firmer and Yes. And a lot more icing. Yes. And I can, I can taste them in my mouth right now. Oh, Nana's house. What a, what a wonderful place to be. And get your fucking raisins out of your iced oatmeal cookies and out of your regular oatmeal cookies. I don't want it. We don't want it and we didn't ask for it. And your chocolate chips too. Get them out. Get them out. Get them out. but our grandfather actually smoked cigarettes, so that actually makes sense between the ice. Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah. I meant it because of my dad. Oh, well they all smoked back then. Oh yeah, everyone was ripping them. I'd be ripping them, it's fine. Only when I drink. Sure. No, I've never actually, that, I've never actually had a sober cig in my life. Okay. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. There's just something about, like, after a couple, like, tequila sodas, like, when just, like It hits the spot. Like, the guys are going out, and they always tell me when they're going, because it's, like, you know, I'm just one of the union men, apparently. You're cool. You're cool like that. I've made it. Look, Mom, I've made it. I've never been invited to one of those. No, life comes at you fast. I was at a Knights of, I was at a Knights of Columbus a few weekends ago and was invited out for the steak outside of a Knights of Columbus. And I out loud was like, do you think, to one of my guy friends, I was like, do you think this is the place that I wouldn't get weird looks if I was drunkenly smoking a steak outside with you guys? And he was like, So there's no other place you should be to do that. It would be here. This is the place. You have come to the right place. Knights of Columbus in a colonial man outfit. Ripping a cig. Oh, you have to. Oh my god, we have to give that picture out to the world. Ugh. There was a point to this whole tangent we just went on and I'm trying to track it back. The Annie's mac and cheese. No, you know what it was, I got into talking about the whipped, the whipped cottage cheese. Whipped, yes. But while I was whipping the cottage cheese, Fiona had boughten this like expensive dry shampoo, which you know how I feel about that shit. Yep, buy your cheap five dollar bottle And you buy it in bulk. Yep, and that's all you. And you let her soak. Also I was really upset with Walmart, I did open one the other day that I bought and there was just no top on it. Oh. I was like, oh cool, so you know I'm just gonna go to Walmart and switch them out in the aisles. I'm like, I don't care. Oh, also, I'm remembering to No, finish that fucking thought, Colleen. It's about Walmart. No, finish the first thought. Okay. The whipped cream. You guys are following me, right? No. I think they are. They never follow us. We always go off on tangents. Um,, so I'm whipping the cottage cheese, okay? That's all you need to know. And Fiona has purchased this rather large, this expensive bottle, but broke it. So she's like, no, I'm, I'm on a mission. Like, I'm going to move it into a different bottle. It's like an aerosol can. So you can't transfer that into like a spray bottle. Like, but I didn't get that. That's what she was trying to do. So I just kind of ignored her. So she has pliers and a wrench and she's, oh my God, she's turning it a little bit. All of a sudden I hear like, yeah. It exploded in our kitchen. She threw it into the sink. Like, and we were cooking dinner, two of us. So there's like chicken, there's rice out on the... It, and she ran away from it like it was a bomb. It exploded. Picture a can of hairspray fully exploding in your kitchen. What happened? It was everywhere. It's all over the counters. It's missing. Is it just sticky? It looked like we made a potion. No, it's like mist. It's like It had, it's like propane. Oh my god. Two arms went off. Oh my god. I'm whipping cottage cheese, Erin's making chicken, and we're exploding aerosol cans of dry shampoo in the kitchen. That's not good for you picked up the can, it was frozen, because it has, like the can itself was like, Uh, defrosting. It was the weirdest thing. And I was standing over the sink and I was going, Got that potion. Cause it was literally like Chemicals. Literal chemicals in the air. It was steaming and misting. Oh my god, it was crazy. But she literally dropped it like a bomb and ran into our room. And it went poof. And then I went to go grab it to remove it and like take it outside and as I touched it, it went whoosh koooh. What did it go? Whoosh koooh. Whoosh koooh. Right in my fucking face. And we were going ahhhh! Oh, they're 100 percent going to call the cops on you at some point. They think we're unwell. I mean, we are, but like, they don't have to know that. They don't have to know. And you know what? It's none of their goddamn business. I hope no one's, uh, woman in the window in you because We do have one. You do? Well, it's You've had someone looking at you through the window? No. So sometimes I walk around naked and then every once in a while I'll look through the kitchen window if I'm like going to get a water or something and I will make eye contact with a man. The man that lives next door because our windows are right. Is it the man that you watch? No, it's a different one, which is even worse. That's so much worse. I think it's a different family. Oh, Colleen. Put some fucking clothes on. I don't like to. Oh, you'd be, validated. I did smack, I smacked my butt with a spatula the other night. In the kitchen. And, and what was the reaction from your roommates, Colleen? Erin was horrified. Oh, that's so weird. Why? She's like, put it to me! Did you smack your bare ass? Yeah, I did. I was, I was going in the shower, but I was walking around naked, like, doing something. And then I was, I just was holding the spatula, and she's like, Something about your naked body holding the spatula is freaking me out. Give me the spatula. And I was like, Did she immediately wash it or throw it away? She was like, Enough. I think she just threw it in the sink and was like, Go in the shower! Like a child. Yeah, you are! Get it together! My Walmart account. Oh, good lord. If you tell me this account got broken into. And remember how I was hacked and that guy bought a ladder? Yes. I got a random email, like, midnight, like, last week, and it was like, your account has been removed and you are blocked from utilizing, for breaking account. Policies. Why? I don't the Bronx! I don't know! But I no longer have a Walmart account! No! That's your favorite store! I know. I'm really upset. I'll just make another one under your name. Please don't. You already get mail sent here. I know you've signed me up for email chains. I just don't have the strength. Got this. Oh my God. Colleen read that to everyone right now. She just got this, I got this text that says, Opti Contact. Hey Bridgette, black Friday deals are here. Enjoy 18% off of all contacts. I have 2020 Vision I signed everyone. So in my defense, Opti contacts are expensive and I didn't choose to be blind. And OPT contacts have. This is somehow everyone else's fault. And OptiCondex has these great deals, but you could, it's only like when you're a first new customer. So I sign everybody up and every single month when I have to buy new ones, a new person gets signed up. So you're one of many. Hey Bridget. Hey Bridget. It's fine. Anything else to share with the class? No, that's it. That was a whirlwind. I'm so sorry. I'm so glad I got that off my chest. But how are you? Like, how are you? Do you feel lighter? Uh, no, but It's impossible not to feel heavy. My ozempic is still pending. Oh yeah, you haven't gotten your OZMP yet. No, it's, I got a text from CVS that said, pending insurance authorization. So I called them and was like, Hey, and they were like, be patient, young grasshopper. and then I said, there is no patience for a chubby girl. So please, she was prescribed it. Back down haters. It was prescribed. Oh, yeah, I don't care. You can come for me if you want, but I was prescribed it I'm just waiting for them to Authorize it through my insurance. Are you excited? I don't know I feel indifferent about it I'll see if it makes me feel any sort of way and if I feel better about myself So, you are in fact becoming Claudia your favorite person on the interwebs That might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me. You're becoming her A lot of my Jewish Queen I want to convert I'm happy for you. Thank you. You're welcome. will you tell me about your fun employment? Ugh. So... No, gang, she's better. I'm okay. I'm not great, but I'm okay. Okay. I did find out I have health insurance until the end of February. Oh, I was wondering if they would still give you some shit. So, I have health insurance. Which is good. That's, I'll take it. I have made some strides with my social security number. And my identity. That were positive. I spoke to my old bosses. Today, actually. I'm better. I'm just, I mean, I'm sad, but it turns out I suck at being unemployed. I've sat on my couch so long that I found a new spot on the couch. I don't know if anyone's ever done that, where you've sat on it so long, you're like, I would love a change of scenery. Um,, so I did notice that you did that today and I didn't call you out on it. And then you just moved down a cushion, as if I'm seeing the TV with a whole new perspective, as if it's not a foot away from where I used to sit. It's the little things, Bridget. It really is. I also have this, like, I have a love sack. It's like a fancy bean bag. And so I've been utilizing that quite a bit. Yeah, I mean, I refuse to wear a bra still. I mean, why wear one? I have not moved my body at all. That's probably the next step. I just, the thought of it makes me want to cry. So I just haven't done it yet. I did put makeup on today, so. That's a plus. Oh, you did? I just thought you looked like that. Oh, fuck off, Colleen. Naturally. I went to a friend's house on Saturday and then on Sunday, our cousin Karen and I went to a bar and watched the Pats game and it was bad and then we came, but we had fun and then we came back and we ordered Chinese food it's a low key weekend for a low income girl, you know? Sorry, low Can that be the title? Non non income. Low key weekends for a low Oh, that's a long title. Never mind. but I hate daylight savings, and I'm miserable, and why is it dark at 4. 30? Get the fuck out of here. We just don't have to live like this. What do we do? It's so dumb. No one else does it, right? No, that's not true. Oh, okay. Other people do it, but actually Arizona, where I just was, is one of the only states in the U. S., if not the only one, that does not recognize daylight savings. It's just like, how does that work though? Like, how does that work? Because every state is governed by their own laws in some way. No, I meant in like... Yeah, they just don't change their clock and then when you go to visit... It hurts my brain. It changes it back. As far as states go, Hawaii and Arizona are the only two. Ooh. Hawaii makes sense. Arizona is kind of like, I wouldn't have guessed that. I would have guessed Florida. Mm hmm. I know, right? Just truly. I could just see Florida being like, we're not doing that! No COVID! No! It's time here! It sounds like Puerto Rico doesn't either, so maybe we just move to Puerto Rico. Okay. That could be good for you. Just leave me be. Technically, you wouldn't be leaving the country. No. Technically. It's a wonderful place, actually. I love Puerto Rico. I mean, I've never been. It's wonderful. It makes you feel like you're in Spain, but your cell phone works and they take U. S. dollar. They really should be their own entity, but, yeah, it's a, it's a beautiful place. Anyway, anything else to add before we jump in? No. I think we unpacked a lot. Yeah. I think, I think we've learned a lot today. Okay. So I've had a lot of time on my hands, and I have decided to do a two part episode on Britney Jean Spears. The Queen. The Queen my sources are her memoir, The Woman in Me, which I highly recommend that you buy. There's a documentary on Hulu. It's called The New York Time Presents, and there's an episode called Framing Britney, and then an episode called Controlling Britney Spears. I used Wikipedia. I mean, I'll post everything, but just trigger warning right at the top for both of these episodes. I'll do it again the next one. Suicide, abuse, trauma. Children passing away, any type of abuse you can imagine is involved. So just keep that in mind. Sounds right up our alley. Any questions? Uh, not yet, but you know, I'll, I'll take note and put them for the end. Okay, here we go. Cause I know how that works. Yeah. So, Brittany Jean Spears was born on December 2nd in 1981 in macomb, Mississippi. It was raised in Kentwood, Louisiana. It's like right on It's giving Bayou. It's giving Bayou, yeah. It's right on the Mississippi Louisiana line. So those places are only like 30 minutes apart. Kentwood is a classic Southern town. Everybody knows everybody. Super small. They all left their doors unlocked. They do Confederate reenactments. Jesus Christ. Just, you know, the classics. Uh, in Southern America. Her father is Jamie Spears and her mother is Lynn Spears. And they had one son at the time Brittany was born, and his name is Brian. And we will talk about him in a bit, but they're a couple years apart. So let's just talk about Brittany's family first. They have a very violent background. So her paternal grandfather and grandmother, so on her dad's side. Her grandfather's name is June. Oh. He was a police officer in Baton Rouge. He had ten children, Uh, And he was very abusive and cruel to his wives and his children. Uh, Brittany's middle name is actually from her grandmother. Her grandmother's name was Emma Jean and everyone called her Jean and there's this moment in her memoir where she talks about Jean. Had a baby and very sadly three days later the baby passed away after being born and she was so Distraught and grief stricken that her husband June put her in an insane asylum Oh, and like a really bad one like a particularly horrible one because you can imagine these this isn't the days of like clean healthy stable mental health facilities When they zap you when you're crazy Sure, definitely. That seems like something that they would set him up to do. When she gets in, they immediately put her on lithium. If you do not know what that is, it's a very aggressive mood stabilizer. But think of, like, a tranquilizer. Like, it makes you fuzzy. It makes you slow. It's, it, they, most people don't even prescribe it anymore because it's so strong, people do not fuck with it. It really messes with your emotions and your personality and everything. Gene was never the same afterwards. And eight years after the baby's death, she was 31 years old, she went to her baby son's grave and she took her life. She shot herself with a shotgun over his grave. Ugh. Jamie Spears, Britney's dad, was 13. Yikes. That's where Britney got her middle name. So let's just start there. June would go on to have a bunch of children. He sent his second wife to the same mental hospital. He sent Jean, and Brittany's step aunt claims that June started sexually abusing her when she was 11, and then she ran away at 16. So not one single person has a nice thing to say about June. And she, in her memoir, says that she didn't experience that man, that he, I don't know if the age or being a grandfather softened him. She did not experience the same thing that her father did, but I think it gives you context to figure out why Jamie Spears becomes the monster that he becomes. Not that it makes it okay, but... You know where it stems from. You know he's a fucking monster. The Spears men were known to be bad news, especially when it came to women. Lovely. So, Lynn's parents, her grandmother and grandfather on her mother's side, completely different. Her grandmother Lillian was British, she was from an elegant and sophisticated family. She met a man named Barney, who was a young soldier. Barney! Barney and Lillian, get the fuck out of here. They moved to America. she moved with him. She hated it here. She missed London till the day that she died. But Brittany loved her. She copied her accent all the time. She wanted to be like her. She wanted to dress like her. She just loved how upper class Lillian was. It's so funny because to this day Brittany sometimes does a British accent. And now I understand why. Oh, true. I feel like I have such a better understanding of her now that I've done all this research and read her book. Okay. Maybe you guys will feel the same. Yeah. I mean, I hope so. Uh, Brittany's parents meet in their hometown. Jamie was the handsome jock type. He was amazing at basketball to the point where people would come from other counties and drive in to see him play. Lynn's parents didn't like him. He had been married before and they did not like that, but they get engaged. They elope. Lynn was 21. Jamie is 23. Children. Not bad. But back in this day, that was pretty normal. I feel like at that point, you're late to the game. Yes. For sure. The honeymoon ended pretty quickly. He became a horrible drinker. He missed Brian's first birthday. He went AWOL one Christmas. Lynn even filed for divorce in 1980 after about four years of marriage, requesting a temporary restraining order, fearing that he would, quote, become angry when he was served with these papers, and it says, and harass or harm her, quote, especially if he had been drinking alcoholic beverages as he has done in the past. Yikes. End quote. However, they somehow figure their shit out. That does not go through. The next year Britney Spears is born. Britney is, from the jump, super tight with her mom and her brother from a very young age. And when she, I think she's four, her brother gets into a really bad accident. They were playing on four wheelers, as you do in the South, in very tall grass and they were horsing around like the kids in the neighborhood. They didn't see each other and the two four wheelers hit each other head on. And he broke nearly every bone in his body. Like, he was in a full body cast. Oh, shit. They, like, came to the house screaming. And his body was just all fucked up. So he gets to the hospital. They save him. But when he got home, he couldn't sleep in the same bed because he needed so much help. And she would sleep at the end of his bed. And she would sleep next to him. And she did for years. She was super tight with him. She really explains herself as an empath. And Her father was awful to him. He was a piece of shit to all of the kids, but he was particularly cruel to Brian. He was the only boy. Yeah, in the same way that his dad was to him. And they talk about, like, June saying to Jamie, you know, he'd go to practice for hours and then he'd make him shoot a hundred hoops outside. Like, past the level of exhaustion, haven't eaten dinner yet, won't let him come in the house until he shoots more hoops. I just, I can't. And so, Jamie kind of did the same thing to Brian. Nothing he ever did was good enough. He was really, he was really cold. and so Brittany kind of felt that, and she just felt the more time that she spent with him, the, she could ease his pain, and the better their relationship was, the better things were for Brian, essentially. Brittany was really scared of her dad. She talks about being a little girl and being in the backseat of the car when he was drinking and driving, and he would talk to himself out loud, and it would totally freak her out. So, I mean. And their parents fought terribly, and they fought all of the time, like, would scream at each other in the middle of the night. And Brittany just couldn't get a fucking good night's sleep. And she would come out Instead of coming out of her room and being mad at her father, she'd actually be mad at her mother. She's like, he is so drunk he can't talk. Just go to fucking bed and let us sleep. Like you're fighting with someone who isn't in this room. so just chaos in the Spears house, essentially. At three years old, she was already in dance recitals. At four, she sang her first solo at a Christmas program at her mom's daycare. She sang, What Child is This? How fucking cute is that? She's so cute. So even though their house is like a complete hot mess with Jamie heavily drinking and them constantly fighting and him on benders and leaving for days During the day, that was her time to shine, they were the cool house. They had a lot of friends, Brian was really popular, everyone in the neighborhood came to hang at the Spears house. They always had company over, Brian was always causing mayhem, and Brittany, just constantly trying to steal the spotlight, would like get up on a table and do a dance routine. Like she was just, she knew at a super young age that she wanted to be a star. Imagine being, like a, Normal person these days being like yeah, I used to be in the basement of the Spirit's house Yeah in fucking Louisiana and just hanging out. Yeah at five She enters into a talent contest in one and they were like, oh shit We can like actually make money off of this because you can do talent contest all over the county, and there's cash prize for it. So they start signing her up everywhere, they put her in singing lessons, they put her in gymnastics, she loves gymnastics, and at one point she says at eight years old she was shooting music videos and doing choreography in the neighborhood, like before anyone even knew what that was. She loves music. It's the way she expressed herself. It's her escape at some point on her talent show circuit. They see a call for the Mickey Mouse Club. And when she's eight, her and her mother drive eight hours to Atlanta, Georgia to go to this like casting call for the Mickey Mouse Club. There are 2000 kids there. They're only looking for kids over the age of 10, though. And she's eight. And they ask her how old she is. And she lies and panics and says nine. And so she does her routine, she sings, she dances, she does like a gymnastic flip, and she sings, uh, Sweet Georgia Brown was the song. They narrow it down to only a few kids. And they don't make the cut. Her and one other little girl don't make the cut. They're like, you need more experience. And the guy running the casting call recommends that she go see an agent that he really liked in New York City. Also, the little girl, the two little girls who didn't make the cut that year were Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. I was just gonna guess if it was Christina Aguilera. Yes, it was. So the guy's like, hey, I have this agent in New York City to give you more experience. Her name is Nancy Carson. I really like her. Call her. Like, make this happen. So they go home. Brittany starts working as a waitress at a seafood restaurant at nine years old to help out her family. How do you even waitress at nine? Can you even read? She would get dressed up in little outfits and like make extra tips by doing song and dance as she like bust. Yeah. Good Lord. Yeah. The 80s. Also, I want to know. The 90s. Anything goes. Yeah. For real. I wonder, like, those people that did make it through, like, where the fuck are they now? That's what I want to know. For real. So, Lynn ends up submitting a tape of Britney to Nancy Carson of her singing, and it works. And Nancy Carson is like, come to New York City. And let's see what she's got. So they take the train and they go to New York City and she sings in front of Nancy Carson and Nancy's like, yep, signing you. So when they go back to Louisiana, Brittany has an agent and Jamie Lynn is born, her little sister. Oh, yes, yes. This next part really breaks my heart. She talks about having really big dreams of being Whitney Houston or Madonna. And she says this. She goes, I also had smaller dreams that felt even harder to accomplish. Ones I didn't dare say out loud. I want my dad to stop drinking. I want my mom to stop yelling. I want everyone to be okay. She's nine. She's fucking nine. The fact that talking about being a Whitney Houston or Madonna is in comparison, I want my dad to stop drinking. So, they start going to New York City regularly for auditions. Nancy recommends they enroll Brittany in the Professional Performing Arts School in Manhattan. So many fucking famous people have gone to this school. Claire Danes, Jeremy Allen White, Alicia Keys, Sarah Hyland. One of my favorite drag queens of all time, Monet X Change. She won Animals on All Stars, you get it. The list goes on and on. They also enroll her. In the Broadway Dance Center for Dance Classes. So she is doing it. She is going to school, going to choreography, going Like, she's in rehearsals all day long. She then gets She books a hit TV show called Star Search. I think she's about ten years old. Before the American Idols, The Voice, America's Got Talent, X Factor, fuckin Mass Insert show here, there was one. The OG was called Star Search, and they had different categories, like you were a comedian, you went in this category, you were solo vocalist, female, bands, like, there were a bunch. To give you there was a junior category, and to give you some semblance, or some context of the star search power here. Here were comedians that were on Star Search that did not win. Okay. Dave Chappelle, Ray Romano, Adam Sandler, Conan O'Brien, Bill Ingvall, Drew Carey, Kevin James, Rosie O'Donnell, Norm Macdonald, and Martin Lawrence. That's fucking crazy. That's just some of them. And none of them won. I know you do. Some of the singers on Star Search, Leigh Anne Rimes won her country category. Usher, Aaliyah, Alanis Morissette, NSYNC, Christina Aguilera, the Backstreet Boys, Pitbull. In a cute little girl group called Girls Time, it consisted of six people. Sisters Nina and Nikki Taylor, Tamar Davis, Latavia Robertson. Kelly Rowland in Beyonce, which would then become Destiny's Child. So anyone who is anyone is on motherfucking Star Search, period. Also, I'm really on a I hate Justin Timberlake thing now, and you'll understand why soon. He tried out as a cowboy as a little baby, and his name was Justin Randall. You know, I never liked him. You never liked Justin Timberlake? That doesn't surprise me. No, I didn't. You have a good eye. I don't know. I just never thought he was cute. His voice kind of bothered me. I didn't think he was that talented. He's trash. He's trash. I do like his songs, though, I will say. But that's just because they were on Top Ten at one point. And, like, you know, they're classics. Yeah, I mean, they're... Grammy, baby. I have some fucking thoughts on that song. But let me show you one second. I'm sick. I hate this man. Here is Britney. Good lord. I feel like it's the voice that comes out of her as wild. Yeah. So wild. It's so wild. Okay, so she loses star search, but she's on a bunch of commercials and she's doing her thing in New York City and she loves it. There also just wasn't a lot of time for her to, like, be a kid or make lots of friends. And they end up getting an apartment for Jamie Lynn, Brittany, and her mom, Lynn, and living in New York City. And... It's just a lot. There's a lot going on. They don't have a lot of money. She eventually gets hired as an understudy in an off Broadway show called Ruthless, which was a show about a young girl who would literally kill to be the lead in her school play. That's the premise of the show. The main actress playing... The role at the time was Laura Bell Bundy. Laura Bell Bundy, for me, is an icon. She was the original Elle Woods in Legally Blonde, the musical on Broadway. I have been watching her career for no joke 20 plus years. So, Laura Bell Bundy is the main. The understudy is Britney Spears. Her understudy is Natalie Portman. What? Just queens on queens on queens on queens. Wait, that's fucking crazy, actually. But Britney, as much as she loves to perform to a live audience, hates the grueling schedule of Broadway, as most of them say. It's eight shows a week. You get Monday off. There are days that you do double time. It's just a lot. You have no time. Also, when she's in understudy, you have to warm up. You have to be ready to rumble. And you could do all of that, and go through the whole show, and then never go out once. And then, when Laura Bell Bundy leaves, and she becomes the lead, they come out with the schedule, and she realized she has to perform on Christmas. At this point, it's been almost a year of her going non stop. She's a kid! Like, she's a fucking child! And she's like, I don't she cries, and she's like, I don't want to do it on Christmas, and she quits. So, okay, they go home and in 1992, Brittany and her mom go back to the Mickey Mouse Club. Now it's been a year, she's going back to the tryouts, and she nails it. She gets it. Along with Ryan Gosling, Carrie Russell, Christina Aguilera, and Justin Timberlake. These were some of the happiest days of her whole life. They worked their asses off, they were put through the ringer, they were sent through hours and hours of choreography a day. But it was Brittany's first time being around kids who were, one, her age. As talented and as driven as she was, they also got breaks to run around Disney World and go on the rides and like have fun and be kids. They were all in the same boat. And they just become family because of course all these kids have parents who are with them. You can't just like send ten year olds off by themselves. So she talks about, That group and their parents like family and at one point her grandmother Lillian passes away her mother's mother and It's Brittany Jamie Lynn who at this point is two and her mom and they cannot afford to go home in Justin's mother lent them the airfare So when she talks about them, she talks about them like they're family because that's all she had and one night During Truth or Dare, with Janet Jackson playing in the background, someone dares Justin to kiss Britney. How fuckin 90s though. That's wild. They were always drawn to each other. We'll talk about it more in depth, but Justin Timberlake's mother says they were like magnets from a young age. They just pees in a pod. Funny, how that works. We'll come back to that. So after almost two years in 1994 the Mickey Mouse Club gets canceled and most of her castmates are going off to LA, going off to New York, trying to continue the careers they now have worked their whole little baby lives for and Brittany felt this kind of push pull, like do I go back to normal life or do I keep going? And she decided to go back to normal life. And she goes home to like, go to homecoming and get a boyfriend and join the basketball team. It like does high school. Best of both worlds. Quick sidebar. Brittany's mature for her age, obviously she's been working for a very long time. She also started drinking with her mother at 13. They would bring Jamie Lynn to the beach, they would all go to the beach together and have daiquiris on the beach. and then come home. She was 13. She started driving at 13 and she started smoking cigarettes at 13 and she loses her virginity at 14. So she's a bit mature for her age, but she does the whole high school thing. She does the homecoming dances, whatever. But she also realizes that She knows what, life is like doing the things that she loves and home life is just no longer cutting it. So in June of 1997, Brittany was in talks to join a girl group called Innocence. Oh, Jesus Christ. Spelled, wait for it, I N N O S E N S E. Like inno and then sense. Okay. Which is purposefully spelled wrong. And pun intended, makes no fucking sense. Like, what? In no sense? Why? Also, Justin and another Mouseketeer called Jaycee Shazay were a part of this group called NSYNC. And so her and her mother start talking about like, do we want you to join a girl group? Do we want you to go to the single route instead? And they decide... Solo is for her. Thank God. In a sense, was not for her. In a sense that we've never heard of and you've heard of no one from there since. I was gonna say what happened to you in a demo of Britney singing an un new song by Toni Braxton. And she puts on her cute little heels and her cutest little outfit and she heads to New York City with Felicia. Let me just talk about Felicia for a second because I'm gonna talk about her a lot. Felicia was their neighbor in Louisiana. Okay. Best friends. love her. She becomes Britney's pseudo mother and when Britney's mother Lynn needs to take care of Jamie Felicia goes with Britney everywhere. Felicia is Britney's family. She's, I'm gonna mention her name like 16 more times. Felicia is their family. Felicia is it. Felicia's it. Felicia is her second parent. Got it. Because her father is nowhere to be seen through all of this. She flies to New York with Felicia and she meets with four studios in one day. Like back to back to back. She literally flew out in the morning and flew home at night. Three of the studios are like, no. They want pop bands. They like NSYNC. They like Spice Girls. They like Backstreet. They want the band. They say there's not going to be another Madonna anytime soon. The fourth label is Jive Records, and this is her ticket. In a room full of these execs in suits, she gets up and she sings Whitney Houston's I Have Nothing, which is an insanely difficult song to sing, especially for her age. They signed her. And she starts recording immediately. She talks about living in New Jersey and like, being essentially in the studio underground all day, every day. And once they hear her materials, the president of the record label is like, yep, I'm gonna need a full album. So they start to record it. And, as far as her sound, because Britney Spears has a very particular sound to her. She sounds different than everybody else. Correct. She flies to Sweden to record in one of the studios with one of their producers that they love. Interesting. She's a perfectionist. She is someone who spends hours doing it over and over and over again and is like, Nope, that didn't sound right. Nope. I'm like looking to hear the right thing. And one night she's listening to a song. It's called Tainted Love. I got to run away. I got to get away. And she loves the sound of the gravelly voice, the raspy, husky, whatever. So she purposefully stays up late and doesn't sleep a lot. And when she goes into the studio the next day, her voice has hit that gravelliness. This is Baby One More Time. Ah! Uh, baby, baby, how was I supposed to know? So, she sounds mature, she sounds sexier. At what age is she in this moment? Fifteen. Oh, I didn't know that. Mhmm. So, they come up with the concept for the Baby One More Time music video, and they have this like astronaut theme, which is ironic because she ends up doing that in a different way later. With oops, I did it again. He's an astronaut. Oh, yeah. Okay, but for this she's like no This isn't gonna resonate with any of my audience. This is not my age group. I think we should do like school is in session and we're all bored to tears and then the bell rings and we're all dancing and there has to be cute boys in Felicia has to be the teacher I didn't know that either. That's, Felicia is the teacher. She calls her Miss V. Miss V's gotta be the teacher. And she also recommends that she be in a Catholic schoolgirl outfit. Pause for the cause. This is a part of the problem from the jump. Her team, management, producers, everybody, wants her fanbase to think that she is a virgin. She is not. And so she is like constantly trying to own her sexuality and they're constantly like, you are a baby. Yeah, so that she's constantly and it will come up a bunch where she's like, no, I'm just a little girl But it's sexualized. It's very weird. She gets sexualized from a very young age There's a video of her at star search in the host of star search an old man. Do you have a boyfriend and it's like She's 10. Leave her alone. Yeah. I don't know. It's just weird. So, the label, she comes home from Sweden, and the label's like, Great, you're gonna go on a shopping mall tour to promote your album. I miss when they did that. Right? When you would just be bopping around shopping, and next thing you know, there's like, The next big thing is in your shopping mall? Could you even? No. Can't. And again, this is before like, Phones and the internet so you had to go where the people were and at the time everyone was at the mall No one was online shopping Imagine it somehow picture it and she says like this was a big grueling you're going into a shopping mall No one knows who the fuck you are. You're just like performing in the middle of the shopping mall. She has two dancers She's just like doing her thing and on October 23rd 1998. She's 16 They released baby one more time the single in stores And a month later they release the music video and the world fucking loses it, loses their goddamn minds. She's recognized everywhere. In her debut album, Baby One More Time is released January 12th, 1999, and it set the world on fire. It sold 500, 000 copies in one day. Pop opera was number one on the billboard charts went multi platinum in one year and sold 10 million copies She then becomes a regular on MTV's TRL the Rolling Stone sent people to shoot her for their April cover also controversial because Again, she was dressed up on the cover of Rolling Stone. Uh huh. And she's dressed in this little tiny outfit holding a Teletubby. Again, this like sexual child. It's so fucking creepy. It's giving confusion. It's giving something else. Predatorial. Yes. It's giving fucking gross. Giving pedo. So she starts opening for NSYNC on tour. She had stayed in touch with her Mickey Mouse Club friend, Justin Timberlake. They had a lot in common, especially with their shared experience with their childhood, and they start hanging out all the time. And it starts off, like, before the show, and then it's after the show, and then it's on the tour bus. Justin Randall. And it wasn't long before Brittany realizes she is completely head over heels in love with Justin Timberlake. Quote, I was so in love with him, it was pathetic. Yikes. So, we'll get back to him in a second, don't you fucking worry. But in 2000, she performs at the VMAs and you'll, something that I picked up just reading and learning about her through her memoir and all of the articles I use, the VMAs are a big deal for her. It's like her time to perform and promote her albums and it's just a really big deal for her. And in her 2000s performance, she starts off in a pinstripe suit that's sparkly and a hat. And there's this long staircase and she comes down it and she's singing Satisfaction as she walks down the staircase. And then she gets to the bottom and she rips off the pinstripe suit and below are sparkly see through pants and just a top. She looks incredible and she unpins the hat and lets her long hair down and she performs Oops I Did It Again. And I just want you to see it really quick. Here you go. Thank you so much. Just sped up though. She's such a baddie. So she does this. So she looks incredible, right? Correct. So after this, TRL has her sit down and they interview strangers on the street that judge her performance and they make her watch it. And they're just like, Hey Brittany, what do you think about that? What did you think about what that person had to say? What did you think? And some of them are really nice. And then some people are like, It sucked. She's slutty. She's not a good influence for the children of America. And Brittany basically, She shakes it off really well. But she's like, I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea. I didn't sign up to be everyone's babysitter of America. And I'm a southern girl who loves to sing and dance and sign my goddamn name with a heart. Like, if I want to own my sexuality, what's the big fucking deal? Leave me alone. I'm paraphrasing, but that's essentially what happens. But she says this is the first time she's really faced with public criticism and like forced on the spot to deal with it. Well, what do you think about that? Well, I don't fucking know. I'm just trying to vibe. Sorry, wrong pipe. She's 19. Okay. Imagine what you were doing when you were 19 years old. It feels like just yesterday. Actually, she might be 18. So, this is how the next few years go. Ready for this? baby. Baby One More Time comes out in January of 1999. In June, she headlines her first tour, the Baby One More Time tour. In the following March, she does You Drive Me Crazy tour. And in May, she releases Oops, I Did It Again. Damn. So, in a year and a half, she goes from touring malls to being A global sensation, overnight, essentially. Oops I Did It Again, the single, debuted at number one in the U. S. selling 1. 3 million copies. It broke the Nielsen SoundScan record for the highest debut sales by any solo artist. It had sold over 20 million copies worldwide to date, making it one of the best selling albums of all time. She did that in a year and a half. That's crazy. Insane. I've said that like ten times. You're just going, that's wild. That's crazy. No, because it is! It's fucking crazy. It's so beyond our, our reality, I think, too. Yeah. And it's also just incredible. She then is ranked Forbes Most Powerful Celebrity. She does the Super Bowl halftime show with NSYNC, Aerosmith, Mary J. Blige, and Nelly. Did I watch it? You fucking know I did. You know I fuckin did. Obviously. She signs a seven to eight million dollar deal, which at the time is a fuck ton of money, with Pepsi. And she comes out with some of the most iconic commercials of all time. She performs again at the MTV, or the VMAs the following year, with a python. And performs I'm a Slave for you. Slave! She was scared shitless of that python, by the way. I mean, obviously. The next night. So she does the Python thing, right? Yep. One of the most iconic VMA performances of all time. The following night, she goes to Madison Square Garden and she sings The Way You're Making Me Feel with Michael Jackson to celebrate his 30th anniversary of his solo career. That's just like two days in Britney Spears life. 48 hours of Britney. Yeah. Not to mention the other contract she has signed like she signs a bunch of shit. She got the got milk Remember the must the milk mustache. Yeah, she's not shit if you didn't have a got milk ad, right? She does I believe Polaroid. I think it was Polaroid then she hosts SNL twice and she becomes the Youngest person to host and be the musical guest she builds her mama house She pays off all of her dad's debts from all of his shitty business decisions that he made So that they can have a completely clean slate. She books Crossroads Her first acting gig. Oh my god, um Taryn Yeah. Manning, is that her last name? she was on something. It was a clip of a podcast. Oh, Whitney Cummings. Britney had acne and they shut the whole set down. And she was like, yeah, she had acne. And then she said, like, what'd she say? Like, pumpkin pie, something pie face or something. I can't remember, but she made fun of her and said something so mean about her. I was like, that's so disrespectful. I have become the, please leave Britney alone. Yeah. Or no, pizza face, as she said about her. Like, Taryn, look in the mirror. Do not come for Brittany. I will cut you down. That's where I'm at now. So, come with me. So, she's like fearless. She's having the most fun. She's working with all these amazing people. She's meeting her heroes. She's getting recognized. She's in a relationship she loves. She is on top of the world. These are also some of the best times of her life. Let's discuss Justin Timberlake. So, Okay. They start dating in 1999, as I mentioned. Madly in love, over the moon obsessed with each other, very dependent. I would argue, based off of what I know now, unhealthy. Britney's third album, called Britney, they release the single, I'm a Slave 4 U. is said to be about Justin Timberlake. Yeah. They buy a home together in Orlando, Florida. They're very happy. They fly home in between shows and tours and they make a point to spend time together. Whether that's like flying home and seeing each other for two weeks to two months. They just do it. They figure it out. They have their families come and visit. All seems right in the world, they show up to an award show wearing denim on denim, which she says, I was shocked he went with, but he was like, fuck it, let's do it. And so it was her idea and they went with it. And yeah, everything was going swell until it wasn't. And Britney knew. that Justin had cheated on her while on tour. And he was kind of playing the playboy role on tour and was caught a few different times by paparazzi with different women. The tabloids were like trying to rub Britney's face in it. She says nothing. She's like, I'm so madly in love with him. I say nothing. He is my future if he needs to like sow his wild oats. I'm paraphrasing. She doesn't say this but I'm assuming based off of the way she thought of their relationship like do what you need to do but come home to me kind of thing. Okay, fair. She's loyal to him for many years, but in 2002, she goes out one night and she makes out with a choreographer. And after all the cheating that he did, she just thought, she slipped up, and she goes home and she talks to him about it. And they talk about it and they move on, and it was nothing. She's like, I made out with someone, you've cheated on me. Like we're, we're not even. Fair is fair. Yeah. So they're committed to each other. Brittany at this point is sure that Justin is her future. They're going to get married, they're going to settle down, they're going to have babies. Also keep in mind the relationship she has with his family. So she talks about when she goes home for the holidays, she doesn't go home to her mom and dad. She goes to Justin's house. And she doesn't seek peace. She doesn't have a loving family. Her loving family is Justin's family. So, There's just a lot going on. There's a lot more. And she's letting it happen because she loves him. And she thinks that he is her future. And then she gets pregnant. And my good lord. Okay, so she basically says, If I was alone in the decision, I would have absolutely had this baby. The timing wasn't great, but she always wanted to have babies, be a mom, settle down, do the whole thing. Justin was not ready. He thought, we're too young, I don't want to become a father yet, it's just not the right time. Like, we're in the peak of our careers, this is bad timing. So they make the decision that Brittany's going to get an abortion. But they also say that she's not going to go to a hospital because someone might find out. So, they give her pills, and she goes home, and she takes said pills with no... Pain medicine, anesthesia, She experiences what she considers one of the most agonizing pains of her entire life. The only people there with her were Justin and Felicia. She stayed in the bathroom alone for hours screaming and crying through the pain, like at one point on her hands and knees, like gripping the toilet bowl in so much pain. Justin comes in, doesn't, you know, rub her back, take her to a fucking hospital. He strums his guitar. I'm sick. If I was having a at home abortion and a man walked in and strummed a guitar, I would beat him with it. I would shove it up his ass. Put your fucking guitar down. I don't care if you're like one of the most famous people on the planet at that point playing all the music. Put the fucking guitar down. Strumming your guitar. He strummed. This is one of the most painful things she's ever experienced in her life and he's strumming his guitar. It's also like, your fault, brother. Also, you have a part in this. I, I, I would literally beat him to death. Okay, so, this is also, NSYNC is very popular and this is around the same time Justin is talking about leaving NSYNC to go solo. Okay. He starts to act really standoffish and awkward towards Brittany and she cannot understand why. Months go by, and one day while she's on set and filming the video for the Overprotected remix, He breaks up with her via text. As one does? As one does. She has to go back up and dance and just like finish. That's another reoccurring theme. Like when she is broken, she's just like forced to continue on. She's completely devastated. She, when she gets home, she doesn't speak to anyone. Like she goes into a deep, deep, deep depression. Naturally. Uh, he at some point goes to see her and he writes her a letter that she said she still has. Soon. And, under her bed, in, she says the last line, is like, I can't breathe without you. They're that kind of couple, like, they're just very, but, but, you know, he's still being weird, she's struggling, but she's contractually obligated to finish her tour dates for the Dream Within a Dream tour, so she goes back on the road. When the tour is over all she wants to do is take a break. She's like I need to heal I just need time and her family and her management team is like no no no no you have to keep doing interviews You need to show everyone that you're fine. Everything's fine. Nothing to see here. You don't need Justin blah blah blah blah And she's like I'm a fucking mess. That's the that's the problem with your plan. I'm a fucking mess She ends up going home to Kentwood. She finds her mother Coping with the divorce she finally went through with Jamie Spears. She's depressed and she can barely get off the couch. Her brother, who she was close with her whole life, Brian was on her management team, but she doesn't talk about it a lot, but she basically says like through the years of touring they just fell out with each other and she said, I lost Brian and Justin around the same time, which is just Fucking awful. Also, she goes home and talks about how awful Jamie Lynn is. She's such a bitch. She's a nightmare. She, quote, ruled the roost. She spoke to Lynn Spears horribly. She was resentful for everything that Britney bought. Yeah, she's jealous. Hello. In like, living in her spotlight, obviously. But like, Britney grew up with no money. She was at work when she was nine. Jamie grew up with Britney's money. Yeah. So she doesn't know what it's like to be poor. Britney's like, you would have beat me silly if I spoke to you like this. What the fuck is this girl doing? So it's just a really bad time. Tough times in these streets. She then talks about going to Italy to one of Donatella Versace's party to get her confidence back because like Aswan does. She just like goes to Italy to a party. Okay. And is just like feeling herself. She's trying to get back on the dating scene. And Justin goes on 2020 to talk about his solo album, Justified, and plays a song called, quote, Don't Go, You Horrible Woman, which seems to be completely about Britney. Then a few weeks later, he releases Cry Me a River, and in the music video is a Britney lookalike, and the song is meant to insinuate that Britney was unfaithful to him. After he cheated on her many, many times, which he neglects to say in every single interview done with him. Of course not, why would he? And he was being awkward towards her at the end of their relationship because he was using her like fucking jet fuel on his solo career. He completely rewrote this untrue narrative about their relationship while she was... In a complete and utter depression. She says in her memoir, quote, In the news media, I was described as a harlot who broke in the heart of America's golden boy. The truth, I was comatose in Louisiana and he was happily running around Hollywood. You fucking prick. She was booed at clubs. She went to the Lakers game with Jamie Lynn. The entire, entire, whoa, how is your Boston? The entire arena booed her. The entire 70, 000 fans booing you. I'm sick. The only good thing he did was he killed the narrative about her being a virgin. So he goes on a radio show, I... I think it's Howard Stern, do not quote me on that, and he gets asked straight up, Did you fuck Britney Spears? Exact quote. Not any other nicer way of asking that, I don't know how, but like, Did you fuck Britney Spears? And he plays coy for a second, and then he goes, Okay, I did it. Like, just like that. Which, I'm surprised. Britney is glad he does it because now she can stop acting like some goody two shoes like she's she basically says I had a boyfriend that I lived with for three years like we had a home together like why is it anyone's business if I have ever had sex and who I have sex with and she thought that all the conversation about her having sex took away from her music and her being a musician and a choreographer and all these wonderful things. She gets asked, she's somewhere overseas because she has an earpiece in and usually when they do that it's because one of the reporters is speaking a different language and then it translates in her ear. So there's like a delay. They straight up ask her, are you a virgin? Ugh, good lord. What? And she lies. And she says, yes, I'm waiting for that special person and to get married when she lost it at fucking 14. But that's what her team wanted. They wanted this like sexual virgin. She didn't want to upset anybody. No. And she's like, and that's another thing you will hear throughout her entire book. She's a classic Southern girl, the yes ma'am, no sir, just almost too nice and too naive for her own good. Yep. So all of this happens. She rebounds with Colin Farrell. My girl. My girl. You fucking rebound and if you're gonna rebound with anyone it might as well be fucking Colin Farrell He's so hot No, you know who Colin Farrell is Oh, who's that? I've never seen. Are you fucking kidding me? No, I swear in my life I've never seen You've never seen Colin Farrell? No. I swear I was thinking of, what's his name from Mama Mia? The dad. Isn't he something? Farrell Pierce Brosnan. No, the other one no, I'm talking. I've never seen Colin Firth. I hate you. But no, I've never seen that guy. Isn't that crazy? If you're gonna rebound with anyone, it might as well be Colin Farrell, who's the complete opposite of Justin Timberlake. She calls their relationship a brawl. Oh! Cause they were just Fighting? No. Fucking. A lot. Oh, that's fun. Yeah! So she, she's rebounding with him, it doesn't, it only lasts a couple weeks, but... The press is just praising Justin Timberlake for just being like the most perfect little golden boy and that she's just a slut. And she's very sensitive, she's hurt, she starts having a really bad social anxiety. She ends up moving to a New York City apartment and goes completely dark. Just doesn't talk to anyone, doesn't leave. Felicia is the only one there. and however, the one friend who she brings up at this point that really kind of gets her out of her funk is Madonna. Imagine? Imagine Madonna showing up to your apartment and she's like, Nice view. And Britney's like, Thanks. Like, what do you think their conversations consist of? I have no idea. Like she came in the front door and she's like, Hey girl, hey! Hey bitch! Also, the fact that, Madonna is someone she just mentions throughout her whole life is someone she's Emulating and then to meet your hero, like to hang out with your Like was Madonna like, what's your addy? Where can I find you, bitch? So this is also the time where the VMAs are coming up again. And the year before was the Python and Britney's looking to make a splash. And so this is the VMAs where Britney, Christina, and Madonna kiss on stage. Talk about a culture shift. I don't remember it. Are you fucking kidding me? No, I swear on my life, hold on. Oh, she sings like a virgin, that's why. Oh. Okay. The irony. I love Christina Aguilera. I think it's here. Like, did they orchestrate that beforehand? The kissing? Yeah. Ah! So. This was So no, I had no recollection of this. I'm so sorry. This was a big fucking deal. Okay. And, of course, her coming out and originally singing like a virgin when it just had broke that she was not a virgin, and then her making out with Madonna on stage. Or it's like, not a makeout. It's like a, it's like a quick Yeah, but why was her mouth open? I think I don't know. I think that when Justin broke this virgin barrier, she leaned all the way in and she was like, Oh, now everyone knows I've had sex. Cool. Watch me get super fucking sexual on stage. And so this of course gets a ton of press. It was also when they decided to collab for me against the music on her album in the zone. And she basically helps Britney out of her funk and she releases toxic from that album, which is. Chef's kiss. One of my all time favorite Britney Spears songs, period. So we're in a better, things aren't great, she's not doing great, but we're not at, we're not in hell yet. Yeah. We're gonna get to hell, but we're not there yet. She again, wants time to heal, she wants time off, her team won't allow it. To fix this narrative that Justin has spun, her team and her father. He apparently has a say now, decides that she's gonna do a TV interview with Diane Sawyer. Diane Sawyer at the time has millions of people who watch her show. It's like the OG Oprah interviews. Yeah. She ain't no, she ain't no Wendy Williams. No, she's no Oprah. How dare you? She's I in comparison. In a good way. Yeah. Oh, okay. Good. It's not like I was like, don't you dare, don't you dare. No, uh, Brittany did not wanna do it. At all. She was like, no, no, no, no, no. They force her to do it. It's a fucking shit show. She wasn't told any of the questions at the time. She was fed to the sharks. Diane Soar keeps asking her really harsh questions. At one point she's like, Have you seen Justin in all these interviews? What did you do to him? Ah. she at one point's like, I forget what, I think it's like the governor of Maryland's wife says, quote, if I had the opportunity to shoot Britney Spears, I think I would. And she tells Britney that on camera. And she tells her that she's not a good example for kids and that she's making parenting harder for everybody. I just, I don't think you should be an interviewer if you have a clear side. And Britney breaks down and asks to stop. It's, it's actually really hard to watch because they're just eating her alive because they know her pain makes good press. They just know it. In her memoir, she says it was completely humiliating and that interview was an internal breaking point for her. What she does though is she goes home for the holidays and her mom, she has like a bunch of friends over and her mom is Complaining that they're being too loud and she's like, wait, I have money. Why am I here? She's like, wait a minute. I'm rich So they go to Vegas in Paris and shows up and they have a fucking time. They get drunk They run through the casino barefoot. They just have fun. They have stupid silly fun. She's 22 Okay, she's doing what a 22 year old does, which is having a fun night out with her friends. None of them are on drugs. None of them are being reckless. They're just being drunk 22 year olds. They end up partying all night and she ends up in bed with her childhood friend Jason Alexander and after a couple days of just like partying and drinking they get blackout drunk one night and they're like, let's go get married. So they go to the little white chapel. They wait in line. I love that so much. At 5am in the morning, they're not in love, they did this as a joke, they thought it was silly and fun and ridiculous and who the fuck cares, right? Her family loses it. They show up the next day, it's plastered, it's plastered all over the tabloids, they acted as if she murdered someone. Uh, they got the marriage annulled 55 hours later. She can't believe how seriously her family is taking it. And I think her hindsight is coming in here because she basically says, I realize that if I'm married to someone, Then I, when I'm financially supporting my whole family, it's not good for them. Like, I'm getting closer to someone else. It might share my wealth with someone else instead of them. Yep. And they start to want to control every single thing that she does. All she wanted was time and space. All she wanted was to be left the fuck alone. And all they saw was an ATM. Correct. Got it. So, it's 2004, and Brittany meets a dancer named Kevin Federline. Oh, God. Oh, I hate this man so much. They meet at a club. Uh, called Joseph's in Hollywood, and Brittany explains that one night, it's actually so sad to hear her explain it, he just holds her in a pool for one full hour, and You have to understand, no one gives a shit about what this girl wants. No one checks in with her. No one makes sure she's okay. No one gives a shit about Britney Spears. They see her as an ATM. They want bad press so they can sell their shit. She is abused, used and abused at every point in her life. And to have a man who just cares for her and wants to hold her is all she's literally ever wanted. It's, I mean, it's awful. And so he has this, like, bad boy image. She has no idea at the time that Kevin has a girlfriend who he not only has a toddler with, but who is also eight months pregnant. Oh, God. And after they've been together for a while, Someone says to her, you know he has a baby, right? Like a, a new baby. Like a baby that has no kneecaps yet. Like, like, the baby doesn't have a neck. Yeah. And she's like, what the fuck? And so she goes to him and she's like, do you have a kid? Like multiple children? And he's like, yeah, I see him once a month. Uh, Uh, Let us pray. You're a grown ass man with two little children and you didn't mention that? You're Papa Times Two. Papa Times Two! Good Lord. I just can't imagine dating someone who's not like, I have two babies. For, for months, not just like first date stuff, like four months. That's insane. Woof. So, spring of 2004, Kevin went on tour with Brittany, which by all accounts seemed to go really well. She actually did not want to go on this tour, as she... Turns out, didn't want to go on a lot of her tours, but, and was forced to. But he was there, and he was there to distract her, and he made it fun, and she got to go home with him every night, and it was this semblance of like, peace and compatibility, but also, he was a constant. She like, did her thing, got off stage, went home with him, rinse and repeat, and she needed that, and on the flight home, she asked him to marry her, and he says no. But then he proposed. He proposes. Good fucking lord. They start filming the tour diaries, which were later released as a reality show called Brittany and Kevin chaotic this have you ever watched the show? No, this is so up your fucking alley Colleen it is Chaotic is the perfect word for it. What was the premise of it? It's just them on tour together Oh, I just want you to see like we don't have to watch even the intro they... It's a lot. Look like... Yeah. Okay. Cool. So that's that show. So again, craving stability and freedom, she thought Kevin was the answer. The public does not agree. They don't like Kevin at all. People are incredibly vocal about it. I'm sorry to interrupt you. Yeah. Is Kevin just like a random person off the street? He's a dancer. Okay. And so, but he lived a much more private life than she did. And people, she cannot win no matter who she picks, no matter what she does. She cannot walk outside of her door without becoming a headline. This poor fucking woman. Leave her alone. Let her live in peace. And so, she is then set. to defend her relationship with him at every turn. Everyone is shitting on her forehead and she's like, I'm in love, leave me alone. And you'll find that because people push so hard, she got defensive and would do the opposite. She does this with her parents a lot. They get married. They do a surprise ceremony. They get married. After the ceremony, they all change into juicy tracksuits, Britney's was full pink, and they went to a club and they danced the night away, which I gotta say sounds so fun. Agreed. It was legal a few weeks later when they figured out the prenup. There was a prenup. That's good. So Britney gets pregnant with her first child. This is when she decides to take some time off. She sends a message out to her fans saying she's finally learned how to say no and she's gonna take time to be with her family and her partner and she parts with her managers and she has never stopped working since she was 15 and she just felt like this was a moment for peace. She says in her memoir she felt so relieved and she was so excited that things were going to change. In they do, in not, for the better, and that is where I'm going to end part one. Oh, come on! You're so close! No, I'm not even remotely close. No, I know, but I meant getting to the juicy part. Yeah. Yep. Let that one simmer in. Yep. So, that's the first half don't you know that you're toxic? I think kayfabe. What's your favorite Britney song? probably that one. Really? Toxic? Yeah, you list. Sometimes I just forget. You know when you, I don't know. It's just how my brain works. Okay. I'll, I'll sing a few for you. Okay. Yeah. You drive me crazy. I just can't sleep, I'm so excited, I'm in too deep, oh, Um,, oops I did, oops, I did it again. That was good. I'm good with your heart. That was good. Uh, gimme more. Gimme, gimme more. Oh, I like that one. Gimme more, gimme, gimme more. Toxic. Stronger. Uh, stronger. Yesterday. Nope. Nope. That's off key. No bells. Now is nothing but my way. My loneliness. What's the one from Crossroads? Not a girl. Not a yet woman. I have that on my hit clip when I'm younger. Oh, money is time. Oh, the hit clips? Mm-Hmm. Oh my God. I loved that. lucky. She's so lucky. She's a star, but she cried, cry, crying. Lonely, hard thinking. Yeah, I remember. Piece of Me. Oh. You wanna Wait, what was it? Yeah. It's not It's like there, but it's not. You want a piece of me? She's like talking about how she has to settle in court and people are, the paparazzi flipping me off. Open a resort to some havoc, end up settling in court, and now you're showing you want a piece of me. The alien should have just studied the past three minutes. Ha ha ha, womanizer. Oh, it's up there. Uh, hold it against me. That's, I like that one too. Work, bitch. You better work. Now get to work. overprotected. Oh my God. What am I gonna do with my life? You will find out, don't worry. No, There are just so many. Do you remember? If you seek Amy? Oh, yeah. Love me. Oh, is that what the song is called? Say what you want. I don't love boys, I don't love girls. Back into if you seek Amy. If you seek Amy, I think is what it's called. Yep. Yeah. Here are just some. Break the ice. I forgot about that one. Circus. I like Circus. Oh, Circus is great. Like a circus. When you grab that whip. Everybody on trip. Isn't that from when she's... Like a circus. I did a cheer dance to that song. Of course you did. I'm sure you pop locked and dropped it as well. It was a Christmas game. Oh, really? Yeah. I'm a slave for you. Can't ignore it. I got nothing to it. I'm a Just imagine your body moving like that, ever. Speak for yourself. I have hips that don't lie. How dare you? So anyway, that is the beginning of of Britney Spears. Have a giggle for us. Oh my gosh, please. I mean If you could. I feel like we had enough giggles. We had a few. A few giggles. The next part's not going to be as giggly, I'll tell you that right now. Okay, if there was a draft, the types of girls that would be eligible for World War 3. Oh, Jesus Christ. World War 3 is approaching, and those, these are the types of girls that would be first in line, would be running the show, okay? Good lord. You with me here? Yeah, I'm with ya. First types. Turkey trot girls. Ew. Get them to the front. I don't want any part of them. Girls who get regular Brazilian waxes. Oh. They are tough. They're tough. They're tough. They, they can handle the amount of pain that most, most humans can't. I wasn't even going to say men. I was going to say humans can't. If you can bust your butthole and, you know, hit Butterfly. If we're related, skip ahead. I'll give you a second. The butt's not the worst part. No, I know. I'm just saying, it's just like, oh, I had Fiona bleach my asshole for me this weekend. I'm gonna need you to explain what that means exactly. Okay, so, well, I bleached my arms because, not that my arms are really, like, they're hairy, right? But, like, they're not light enough for my liking. Like, my hair is dark. You'd think I was, like... A grown Italian man. Which makes no fucking sense. So I was like, I just, I'm sick of seeing these. So I bought body bleach. And now the hair on my arms is blonde. Did you ever notice before that my hair was dark brown? No. See, it's all I noticed. Now it's blonde. Okay. So that's that. So then I was like, oh, might as well like, Okay, bear with me here. Gals. Gals and guys and gays. Okay? Do you ever... We're gonna get real here. We're gonna get honest. We're gonna get honest. If you're related to us and you can't handle this, then skip the fuck ahead. I don't want to hear about it later. Or honestly, whatever. Listen, we'll talk about it on Christmas. I don't care. Thanksgiving is right around the corner. This could be some Thanksgiving dinner meal content conversation. They could only be so lucky. Honestly. Okay, so do you know when you need to get the cracks in the crevices, right? Yeah, you got to get up in there. So I'm not, I'm poor. I don't have laser. I'm a peasant. You gotta, you know, you got to move some things around, put them back in place. Yeah. The thing you gotta do is There are flaps and folds. I truly only do it if I'm expecting a visitor, which doesn't happen very often, but, because sometimes I'm lazy, sometimes I go too far and I go closer like to, um,, to my butt cheeks by accident sometimes. Yeah. Because it's like I'm swiping blind. Oh, see, that's just not a good idea. So, now that you shaved over it once, it comes back dark. So I'm like, okay. So your ass cheeks are also growing hair. So if I've swiped them once... We have a problem. So I was like, well, I, you know, Houston, we have a butthole problem. I've had my friends take a few glances and they're like, that's not normal. And I'm like, correct. So we're gonna, we are, it's bleaching season. Okay? And you know what? I can't wait to take my new bleached asshole out of the town this weekend. Okay? So how do you feel? Do you feel new? Do you feel funky? Do you feel fresh? Yeah, I feel fine. So Fiona got back there like the good woman she is. Fiona, someone get that woman a Nobel Peace prize, goodness. I don't even think that's enough. She bleached your asshole. And then we just sat on the couch after, like she didn't just go, she spread your cheeks. No, she really wouldn't let me spread them. So she like, she did a like graze. Yeah. I was like, can you just credit card, swipe it. Colleen. She did. She just did a whoop. Yeah, she's like, uh, uh, uh, doing it for me. That girl. But yeah, that's all you needed to know. Real friends bleach each other's assholes. And someone was like, so how about a wax? And I was like, it's not, the problem is that I can't take care of it. It's my accidental swipes that I've done before that are now growing back darker. Hairy, hairy body. Yeah, like I don't want to have a hairy butt cheek. What the fuck is that? Because realistically, you all have, we have hair on all of our bodies, right? But it's just very, it's peach fuzz. So when you shave that peach fuzz one time, you are a gorilla. So that was my situation. Okay, and that make sense though? Until one day when we are rich and you can get a full lasered asshole like you deserve. Dude, I need a full lasered body. Yeah, well, we're gonna get that for you. We're gonna manifest that. Manifest, manifest. We love money and money loves us. The IRS says otherwise. I have no income. Fuck. Give me a giggle. Okay, girls that walk in heels every day. Like, how do you do that? I don't know. Willingly. I don't know. I'm so tall and so clumsy. Like, you're going to tell me that doesn't hurt you? It does. It absolutely does. I, no, actually, there was one time, ironically, in Vegas. We were just talking about Vegas. I had to go to a nightclub every single night, and you have to go at like midnight if you want to get in for free, and you just like get up to a boys table and they pay for everything. The beauty of Vegas when you're a woman. And I, by like night four, was like, oh, I just can't feel my feet anymore and this is fine. But it wasn't because I was comfortable. They were just numb and bruised. Oh, you can spray them with lidocaine. I heard that works. Lidocaine? That doesn't sound safe, Colleen. I don't think you should be giving that advice to anyone. It's numbing. Something feels wrong about it. Do it. Don't do it. Report back. Pop off in the comments. Let us know how it goes. Murderinos. Murderinos. Get them to the front. Murderinos. There are so many of them. They would overtake the U. S. Army. 100%. But not with, like, force. With, like... They're cats. Yeah. And I mean that with all the love in my heart. And, like, brain power. Yes. Yes. There would be no physical... Well, you know what it'd be? It would be like... Mental warfare. If there's a will, there's a way with the murderinos. Yeah, for real. People that bite into popsicles. Who the fuck does that? There are people out there. Ew, why? I don't know. Ask them. Hey, you, listener who bites into a popsicle, what the fuck? I decided that I didn't like someone when I was younger if I could watch them, like, bite into a fudgicle at school. With their teeth. It gave you the ick. You knew from a young age it gave you the ick. I've been judging since a young age. That is clear. And I said no, sir. Not today, Satan. Not. We will no longer. Engage. We're done here. Girlies who can drink Rubinoff with no chaser. Ugh. 23 year old Bridget would be on the front fucking lines then because... If you know, you know, edible water bottle too, specifically. Yeah. Yeah, that used to be my jam. Mm hmm. And, bonus points. Front, front, front of the line, you're the fucking captain. If, you've, the Rubinoff is not a flavor, it's the one with the wheat on the front, and it's plain Rubinoff. Huuuh! Sorry. I can, I can taste it in my mouth right now. I did raspberry myself. If you were a wheat Rubinoff girlie, you, I don't even know, you would outlive the cockroaches if the apocalypse came. We, in high school, we used to call it the wheat. Wheat. So it'd be like, do you have the wheat with you? Yeah, good lord. you know where I was recently that had a wide variety of Rubinoff? Where? Regal. Okay. There is a deli by Colleen that I love. They were doing a tequila tasting. I'm not gonna go into it because I would talk for literally the next hour and we're at the end of our time here, but it is a deli liquor store and bakery. And anything you could ever want is within these four walls. It's a magical place. Yeah. And groceries too if you needed that. Yep. Groceries too. It's everything under the sun. And it is a gorgeous, gorgeous facility. We love it. Best Italian subs. Oh, I could die. Anyway. yeah. Rubidolph. That's that. Again, lost where we were going with that. Anyone in the food service industry, service bartenders, get those motherfuckers in the front line. Or retail. Yeah, that's true. If you work in food or retail, they can handle all your problems. The customer isn't fucking right! Customer service professionals, if you are on the line of us saying speak to a Oh my god. If you, if you work for the government, and I have been calling you for the last two weeks, SPEAK TO A REPRESENTATIVE! Any sort of customer service for airlines as well, oh my god, bless them. Let us pray. Put them up there. Hoooo! Sorry, I had to get that yawn out. I don't know where it came from. It's the red wine, guys. It's good for your heart, but it makes you sleepy. Okay. girlies who can parallel park perfectly. Your girl. Okay. So you're... No, wait, I can't do it that well. I swear to government, don't send me. I'm bad. Girlies that grew up in extremely religious households and escaped it. Girl. You know, you know they're pregnant. Immediately. You know they got their stomach pumped. Yeah, they on drugs. They, they wiling out. Mm hmm. They love meth now. That's just, I don't make the rules. I do not make the rules. Girls will go to the gym hungover. I used to do this, now I just can't move for three days. A true warrior and I just, I think they should represent us. One of my old co workers used to say, pros play hard. Like we, if we had a thing the next day and we were all going out one night. I did this whole thing, like, just make sure you're here the next day, you're on time. My boss did the same thing, like, please don't make me bail you out. Just make sure your body is here. And she yelled, pros play hurt! And I love it. Pros play hurt. That's a good one. Yeah. Girlies who use military time. You're a step ahead of us. Get out there. I mean, literally everyone outside the U. S. Girlies, well, either way, girlies in the U. S. that do it, because this is the U. S. Oh, fuck, I can do that one too. Shit! What's happening? If you're using military time, you're a step ahead, therefore you must go in front of us. Don't send me because I can do military time. I will just do high kicks and sing slow tunes at the enemy, and we will get nowhere. Just so you know. Circling back on going to the gym hungover, girlies who just don't get hungover, you're built different. To the front. You're young. And you're dumb. And I don't know. When I was young, I was so violently unwell all the time. Oh, I never got hungover until I was like 27. I'm better now, actually. Like I... Really? Yeah, no. Like, down and out. Eyes had to be closed. Dry... Like, open my mouth, dry heave all day. Oh my god! I don't think I knew that. In... Incapac. No, I was a champ. Never got hungover. Wow. And now I want to punch old Bridget right in the throat. Ugh. That bitch. Goddamn her. Goddamn her. And last but not least, the girlies who have long ass acrylics. Something's up with them. Oh my god, and the way that you can type on a phone or computer and you just thrive and you don't need any assistance whatsoever. I admire you. You're something else. Oh god, that's all I got. Perfect. You ready for some positive stories of the week? Yes. Okay. This is from Upworthy. My husband has been making cornbread from me and our daughter every day this week and I finally asked why today. I fucking love this man. I had kind of a shitty start to the week but I didn't think he noticed. Our daughter is growing a new tooth and has been so grumpy so it's been hard for the both of us. He started to bake cornbread. The first night I was grateful and said so but on the second, third, fourth day it was kind of weirding me out. I thought, He maybe heard about a neighborhood bake sale or something, but I asked him tonight, after the seventh round of cornbread, why he was making so much, and he walked to the bedroom and pulled out a note out of his sock drawer, and he said, on our fourth date, you told me that you were a nanny, and you made cornbread for teething children because it was soft for the gums and nice for you too. Then he told me that he wrote this down just in case, and he kept the note for nine years. I love him so much. Ugh. Edit. Where are they? For real. Edit. The cornbread has really helped my daughter with her teething. Even if it's just a distraction at this point, her bloodstream is like 80 percent cornbread, lol. But I'm not complaining. She's happy, full, sleeps like a rock. I cherish my hubby with all that I am. For those wondering, we met in college during our freshman year. He was always respectful and polite. While we have had disagreements in the past, he has never so much as raised his voice at me. I'm so proud to have him as a husband and even luckier that my daughter has a father who adores her. And don't worry, lone travelers, your core bred man woman is coming. Just keep your standards in your head held high. That made me feel weird. It made you feel some things? Yeah, I didn't like that. But I did, but I didn't. I know, I totally get it. Tank's good news? Missing pig named Kevin Bacon was finally found. I haven't even finished it yet. I don't care, that's hilarious. After trending on social media thanks to his Hollywood counterpart, Kevin Bacon. Shut the fuck up. The famous pissing pig Kevin Bacon is finally back in the warmth of his pen after two weeks of wandering around the Pennsylvania forest, all thanks to some sticky buns, a dose of Betadryl, and a heartfelt call to action from his Hollywood counterpart, actor Kevin Bacon. Kevin Bacon heard about it and reposted it. Kevin Bacon is killing other people and they like lured him out. The people in the pigs. Right. For real. And just really quick, they set up a foundation called the Matthew Perry Foundation and it's set up to, uh, help support people who are suffering from addiction. And I thought that was really nice. That is nice. So yeah, those are the positive stories of the week. You know what, gang? I really hope you're doing better than the two of us. I was just staring off in the distance. I know, she's like, What the fuck do we do now? We just go back to my couch. Where my ass imprints are everywhere. We wait until next week. Until next time, everybody. Stay alive. Drink some water. Stay vigilant. Keep your head on a swivel. Keep your eyes peeled. Cause life comes at you fucking fast. Anyway, love you, mean it. Love you, mean it. Bye!
Bridget:This podcast was produced by me. Bridget, Shannon. Music is written and performed by Matt You can find his band super Stoker anywhere you listen to music.