On this week's episode, Bridget was a parent for the weekend and enjoyed a breakfast buffet at 11pm while Colleen showed off her roommate's handy work and is a 2nd place Cook Off champion! She has the best buffalo chicken dip this side of the Mississippi! We introduce a new segment called, "Colleen's Weekly Thoughts" and then dive into the episode of the week... BRITNEY JEAN SPEARS: PART 2. Bridget picks up where she left off with Britney newly married and pregnant. We discuss the horrible treatment she received from the paparazzi, the media, her family and the conservatorship. If you thought part 1 was tough, wait until you get a load of this. We play a game of "Fat Math" and we want no holes poked in Colleen's thoughts, thank you very much. Main takeaway: LEAVE. BRITNEY. ALONE!!! Let her twirl in her outfits on instagram you monsters!! #JusticeForBritney #FreeBritney
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Positive Stories of the Week:
Review and subscribe! You can find us on Instagram @Sippinwiththeshannons or send us your stories at Sippinwiththeshannons@gmail.com. Love you, mean it.
On this week's episode, Bridget was a parent for the weekend and enjoyed a breakfast buffet at 11pm while Colleen showed off her roommate's handy work and is a 2nd place Cook Off champion! She has the best buffalo chicken dip this side of the Mississippi! We introduce a new segment called, "Colleen's Weekly Thoughts" and then dive into the episode of the week... BRITNEY JEAN SPEARS: PART 2. Bridget picks up where she left off with Britney newly married and pregnant. We discuss the horrible treatment she received from the paparazzi, the media, her family and the conservatorship. If you thought part 1 was tough, wait until you get a load of this. We play a game of "Fat Math" and we want no holes poked in Colleen's thoughts, thank you very much. Main takeaway: LEAVE. BRITNEY. ALONE!!! Let her twirl in her outfits on instagram you monsters!! #JusticeForBritney #FreeBritney
Sources:
Positive Stories of the Week:
Review and subscribe! You can find us on Instagram @Sippinwiththeshannons or send us your stories at Sippinwiththeshannons@gmail.com. Love you, mean it.
We're rumbling. I love rock and roll. Put another dime in the jukebox, baby. I love rock and roll. So come and take your time and dance with me. Me! Ow! Wanna add something to the list that you're gonna be like. Are you okay? Sure. The Black Panther, I learned that that was a movie today, and then there was like a, a guy in it that everyone loved and then he died. And that's why everyone was saying the Wakanda thing. Waka Wakanda. Wakanda forever. Chadwick Boseman. Yeah. Had none. None of those things ring bells for me. I've never seen it. Never heard of it. Never seen that man in my life. I, I don't terrible understand how you are a living. Breathing curse. Well, I know I've never seen the Marvel movies like that's something I've accepted the fact that I'm out out on But now i'm like, oh my god, i've missed so many references Yeah, poor guy. Yeah, it was pretty pretty sad. So yeah, that's all. Okay. Thanks for that what's popping not much let me tell you no, I actually I actually had a good weekend I babysat and I my best friends got married. I went to a wedding. Oh Love, I love love. I love love. What was your favorite song that you danced to? I love wedding songs. My favorite song to get me on the dance floor at a wedding is September by Earth, Wind Fire. I love a Brutal Mars moment though. Some people really don't like Bruno Mars. Yeah. My friend Greg. Hates him. Why? I don't know. He's just not a fan. Greg, what's the beef? What's the beef, Greg? Uh, no. A lot of people, like, they just hate him. I love him. I do too. I love his music. I think he's great. I do too. How are you doing? I'm alive. Alive. Alive. I worked all weekend. Really? Yeah, I worked all day Saturday. I worked all day Sunday. I wasn't well enough to visit you. I was gonna come visit you, but then I was like, No. You didn't work all week and you went out. Yeah, during the night time. I hadn't gotten to the night portion. But during the day, like, you know, I come alive in the night time. Yeah, that's what I was more asking about. Not like, what your day to day looks like and what errands you ran. You don't want to know my day to day responsibilities? No, I could give a fuck. No, I'm kidding, but like, I went out on Saturday. Sorry, I had nothing. Okay. This is as juicy as I'll get, okay guys? I went out on Saturday, my friend Nate was home from Florida, so we went out as kind of like a reunion. Well, he can't come home for Thanksgiving, so like we... You did your Thanksgiving festivities. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We went to Stats, it was fine. I just like need music sometimes, you know? I don't have much to say to you people. That's a popular bar in South Boston. And then we went to Capo because the basement is like Pussy Pop Central. but it's like kind of hard to get down. So then we went down there and I don't know what was wrong with me but I was like just like so anxious. Which is, I haven't felt that way, like, at a bar in, like, a really long time. Too many people, maybe? I don't know, I just, like, to the point where I couldn't hide it on my face. Like, I almost looked miserable. But I didn't feel miserable, I just, like, my heart was palpitating and I was like, I just need a minute. Do you ever feel that way? No. Okay. At a bar? Well, I can usually place it. I'm usually like, I don't feel safe, or I, You know, I'm stressed by there's a it's coming from somewhere that I can identify. It sounds like you cannot yeah I never have been able to I'm just like oh why it's like annoying to me So then I just went to the bathroom for like a minute and just like sat in the stall and then I came out I was fine, but That's all but let me tell you I knew it was the bar because then we went home and I I came alive. We had a McDonald's on the way, you know, my ass was getting chicken tendies. Oh, I love that for you. I ended, I was wearing a cowboy hat and no pants, smoking a cig in my kitchen, singing Pussycat Dolls, and, uh, I let one of my friends, well, okay, if you really want to know the backstory on it, which, you didn't ask, but this is me telling you anyways, last week we talked about the whole bleached asshole thing. So, I was showing the handiwork that Fiona had done, and I was like, guys, look at my bleached asshole. In my house, of course, not in public. And I was like, if there's spots that are missing, like, literally take a sharpie and poke at them, so that way I know, and Fiona can go back in and fix it. Whatever. So I have like a crowd of people looking at it and I can like feel someone writing and I just assume that they're poking. Brianna literally created a masterpiece on my ass with Sharpie. I woke up the next day to a picture with zero context of Colleen's entire ass having black. permanent marker on it. And her just laying down and very clearly awake and allowing this to happen. So please stop acting like they just put a couple dots on there. Well, it felt like a couple dots. There were pictures, there was lots of writing. The tequila blinded me. It clearly numbed you from the waist down, too, because they, your whole ass was a canvas. Yeah, there was a swing set on there, some choice of words. I am a little worried, though. I do have a doctor's appointment on Friday. Do we think that that's still going to be there? I hope they see it. I hope they do. I really do. It's bad enough when I go to the dentist and they see my inner lip tattoo. Like, I can't go to the doctor and feel that way as well, so. We'll see, we'll see how that goes. That was it, I was hungover, but I still made it to work because I'm a soldier. She's supposed to visit and she's like, I can't. I can't do that. It actually wasn't even fucking busy because I thought the game was 30. Why are they making games at 9. 30 in the morning? They're in Europe. Oh. Sorry, Europe. Sorry, I To all of Europe, we apologize. We sincerely apologize for your time. No, they're not normally at 9. 30 in the morning. Yeah, that was terrible. So then I was like, oh, fuck. Cause normally when I work on Sundays for the game, people come in and they get like chicken wings and beers. Ah, so it was slow because it was too early. Gotcha. And when it's slow, that brings the children. And that's a problem for me. If I had to make another chocolate milk, we gon have beef. I was thinking about this today. Oh shoot, wait. Hi everyone. Oh fuck, sorry. Welcome to this week's episode of Sippin with the Shannons. We're cousins and each week we sit down, we sip on some wine, we talk some shit, we have a good giggle. I'm Bridget Shannon. I'm Colleen Shannon. Okay, what were you gonna say? We should try a really speedy rendition of that one day. Do you want me to try it now? Yeah, go. Hold on, give me a second. Hi, everybody, and welcome to this week's episode of Shannons. We're cousins, and each week we sit down, we sip on some wines, we talk some shit, and we have a good giggle. I'm Bridget Chandler. And I'm Colleen Channon. That was quick. Thanks. That was so good. You know, I talk really fast, and that's the first time a game in handy. The people that do, the, auctions. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Can I get 100? Can I get two? It's sold! Anyone who listens to us are sped up. Like on 1. 5, it's like, what the hell cocaine did they just take? No, she listened to us too slow. Oh, okay. That was the problem. It was the other way. Yeah. Go ahead. I did, I had a thought today. And I, cause I was, you know how I drop things down? Cause I have, you know, the brain of an at. Yes. I literally wrote down my weekly thoughts. Like, at this point, should I just make that a, we sit down and my weekly, my random thoughts that come about throughout the week. Welcome to our newest segment, Colleen's Weekly Thoughts. Okay. My first weekly thought was. What the fuck's up with Brittany Mahomes? Just like, what, what's wrong with her? I saw somewhere that, I think it was a TikTok of a girl being like, nobody likes her because she dresses like it's 2006. I don't know enough about her. No, that could be fair. That could be what the irk is about realizing. Yeah, I, I don't, I don't know. That's all, it's like you have the money. I know that people dislike her though. I know that's a thing. It could just be her face for me. I don't know. Sometimes that just happens. It's not her fault. I'm just saying like, it's my fault. Yeah it is. It sure is. But you know how that is when you just see someone No, I don't. I don't feel that way. But there's just a face that you're like, annoyed by? Nope. We were watching Bachelor in Paradise. She was like, do you like that girl? I don't like her. Her shirt doesn't match her bathing suit. Ew. It didn't. It was blue Five seconds in. It was blue and white striped cover up with a pink, Tie dye bathing suit and sorry you're on national television. You didn't plan your outfits on before we've seen Too hot to handle or whatever that show is. That's how you watch you get Love Island. They're prepared. Don't you ever Compare too hot to handle to Love Island UK. I forgot. I will punch you right in the throat I have the brain of an app, but you know what I mean? I know I know and I'm sorry for judging her for that, but I did it was superficial judgment. Well Love Island UK they get Accessorized, but that's not the point. Please continue. Wow. They get a closet. Oh, oh, that's fun. And they can share pieces because so many people watch it that everything that they're wearing is Oh, like marketing? An ad. Like marketing, yeah. Yeah, so they bring their own stuff, but they're also able to pick from a closet and share and do all that. Anyway. Smart. That is smart. Yeah. Hmm. Hmm. Why are groceries so expensive? Have they always been so expensive? Is that a thought? Is that one of your thoughts? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Inflation. Sucks. Yeah, so annoying. I won a, I won a gift card at work because I won in the cook off. I got second place. Oh, what'd you make? Second place, cook off champion. Mm, champion's a strong word for second place, but sure. Wait, what did you cook though? Buffalo chicken dip. Oh, you do make a mean buffalo chicken dip. That makes a lot of sense. What won? What was the dish? empanadas. Okay, yum. I know, but I know his mother made them, and he didn't. Like, I just know it. So, I demand a recount. Collusion! It goes all the way to the top! I demand a recount. So, I Wegmans gift card. So, I was at Wegmans, and I was like, just thinking to myself, I'm like, hot damn, this shit's expensive. Don't worry, though, I did get some sale items, and I did get the sale because I used your phone number for my coupon. Stop! Using my contact information. I knew that you had a Wegmans account. So, also, stop saying Wagmans. Wegmans. Stop, it, what? How do you say it? Okay, wait. Wegmans. Oh, hold on, close my eyes. I went to Wegmans. You've been saying Wagmans. This whole time. Like how? Wagmans? Yeah. That's what it sounds like. I went to Wagmans. No, I think I've been saying, I went to Wegmans. Weg. Weg, Wegmans. It's so weird. It's an E. What do you say? Wegmans. Weg. It's an e Wegmans. That sounds so, so unnatural. Weg like a, oh, you mean how it's s spelled Just to pronounce it the way that it's spelled. Like my mouse going to the side When I say it weg, like, where does that, it's just weg. It's just, it's like Meg, except with AW. Weg Meg. Weg It like hurts. Are you having a stroke? What's happening? I might be. Wegman. That's all. Why the fuck are groceries so expensive? It's annoying. Yeah, I agree. That's fair. That's all. Maybe we should all just stop eating. And then I'd be skinny. And then I'd be rich. I'd be rich and I'd be skinny. Not an option, girlfriend. Yeah, that's fair. also another thought I had, I saw this thing the other day that was like, if you ever feel ugly, like just think about the fact that your face. It's made up of hundreds of people that have fallen in love and you're just a piece of every single one. Oh, that's actually really nice. No, but isn't that wild if you really think about it too much? Like if you were high and sat down and were like, holy shit, every time it's just like down the generation and a piece of that genetic, like, oh, it's so crazy. The woman who has like math spinning above her head, that is what Colleen just looked like. But I, not kidding, when I read that I was like, what does that mean? And then I stared off into space for at least 15 minutes and was like, wow. It like broke your brain to think about DNA and genetics. No it did. Like just, yeah. Yeah. It's made up of like my parents and then, oh, so crazy. Hundreds of people. Okay. Boom! That was my other thought that I had this week. Cool. Uh, Mean Girls. Let's talk about it. The musical? Yeah. Can't wait. No, not the musical, the movie. The new movie. It's a musical, honey. I didn't see them singing in the promo. That's because people won't go to it if it's a musical. Wait, really? Why didn't Renée rap? I didn't like love Renée rap either way, but I didn't know that there was the musical piece. I thought she was just She was Regina George in the musical. Well, that's what I thought. I didn't know they were making the movie musical, too. Yes. Oh, that's cool. It's a musical. Musical. I'm very excited. I didn't love the trailer, but I'm very excited. I love who they cast in it. Top to bottom, ready to rumble. We'll be seeing it in theaters. Will be. cause we have to talk about it cause everyone has. Taylor and Travis. I love it. I'm here for it. Keep changing the words. Karma is the guy on the Chiefs coming straight home to me. Her running to him and kissing him. Taylor in love is just lovely. I'm here for it. I really enjoyed the people in the background just like smiling and watching. Oh my god, and people just screaming when they realize, Oh, it's so cute. I feel like we've never really seen her kiss a boyfriend like that. No, because every boy that she's dated is, is, what am I trying to twerp? No, they've either, it sounds like Jo just wanted to live a very, very private life, and Travis is in the spotlight all the time, so it's just a completely different relationship. That's true. Rocked a stage at Arrowhead, or whatever it is, what did he say? What? During that interview. He was like, I watched you rock the stage at Arrowhead, or whatever it was that he said. I don't know, but I want you to stop. Whatever it is, it should stop. my last and only thought that I had this week was, Oh wow, last and only. No other thoughts. That's a weird. No other thoughts were had. My brain was shut off the rest of the week. what is wrong with the world? Was what I wrote. Stop. No seriously, like I was looking for like, Almost like pop cultury stories. I'm like, oh, what did I miss in the news this week? I haven't really listened to any podcasts, that's usually where I get my news. Oh, woof. Yeah, it's not great out there. So, and I also was walking at the gym, and like, they have the TVs on, and I'm like, can we not show this stuff? Yeah, it's pretty brutal. There's some shit going on. It's like a shootin here, a fire here, people are dying here, terrorists here. Yeah, I'm not vibing with it. And then if you google online, it's like all these things all of a sudden It's like check out Kim Kardashian's new baby pink nails. Like are we fucking okay? I would say no. There are people that are dying. I don't give a fuck about Kim Kardashian and her nail color People are starving Kim. There's people that are dying including me But yeah, that's all, that would conclude my thoughts of the week. Well, no, we, realized something before we walked into this room. Oh, yeah! And it's very exciting because we were both about to say to each other, We like Timothee Chalamet now! Okay, so like's a strong word. I like him. I think he's funny. Yeah, he's wicked funny. Oh, he was awesome on SNL the other night. That is why I've seen so many clips of it that I'm like, Oh, I don't have the ick, I'm actually... I get it. No, he was great. Top to bottom. I think his sister is funny too. Who's the sister again? She's on Sex Life of College Girls. Oh, I did not watch that show, but I know, I know who you mean. Mm hmm. Yes. So that's actually my only thought. Oh. It's not your only thought. It is. You just listed seven other ones. I might change my mind. I've been decisive. My best friends got married this weekend and Cody and Ashley, congratulations to them. They also used it. To announce that they're pregnant and everyone screamed and yelled and it was really beautiful And it just it was perfect and I've never been at a wedding where they've also made like a pregnancy announcement I loved it. Gorgeous. I loved it. And we danced the absolute night away It was so nice to get all of my home friends back together And because we all live all over the place now and people flew in and it just was so much fun at the end of the night The DJ's getting ready to leave. They did a buffet breakfast bar. Like pancakes, syrup, eggs, potatoes, sausages, bacon. Like the whole shebang. That's cute. I've also never been to a wedding that did that. I thought it was so cool. Breakfast at night. Breakfast at midnight. That's cute. Yeah. It was really fun. And then I babysat. The bebes. Bebes. And how was that, Bridget? it was good. It was good. I, I just don't know how parents do it. I'm like, what do I do with these children? What do they do all day? I don't know. I guess we're gonna go to a park. What do they do at the park, just like go down the slide? Oh my god, Danny made a friend. It was really cute. Oh, that's nice. So I ran after Claire, cause she's a lunatic and she wants to do every single thing that every big kid can do that she absolutely cannot do. And so I was running after her, and then Danny was running around playing dinosaurs with his new friend, Joshua! Are they gonna hang out again? I hope so. Danny, we went back to the park a couple days later, and Danny was so sad Joshua wasn't there. And I like didn't know how to explain. Did he say, where's Joshua? Yeah. And when Joshua was leaving the park, he rolled down the window and went, bye, all the way around the corner. It was so cute. But we had, we had to leave. It was getting dark and it was getting cold. Like, we had to go. I, I didn't have a choice. And his mom was like, they play so nice together. And I'm like, oh my god, she thinks I'm a mom. She's a mother. I've gone full parental. Just for the weekend. Oh, okay. I didn't know if there were like, rules that were being enforced, or if you were... Oh, I was keeping the peace. Let's just vibe, you know? I, I taught him a bunch of phrases that, if he uses on his mother, would be interesting. Oh. He just, he's a picky eater, and I just said, If you, if you keep not eating, I'm gonna make you sleep outside. Anything else you taught him? And he was like, No! And I was like, You're going outside, and when Nana shows up tomorrow, I'll tell her to bring a hat and gloves. Cause you're gonna be really cold. It's cold out there. He was like... Teaching him about the streets. He obviously, he obviously knew I was kidding but, and then, he didn't want to go into the bath. And I was like, you smell. Like you have to, you have to bathe yourself. And he didn't smell. But it was, we played around outside all day. He needed a bath. And he was like, no I don't want to. And I go, fine, you're sleeping in the tub. Like a pig. Like a pig in mud. Did he not like that? No, he giggled and then he went to the tub. I just like give them a hard time and talk to them like they're teenagers. Like, hey, knock it off. I don't negotiate with terrorists. Figure it out. Figure it out. I feel like that's the way to do it. And then I give them popsicles. It's great. It's great being a nut. Win, win, win for everybody. Okay. And then you get to leave. Yeah, and then I get to give them back to their parents and go home and sleep in my big, comfy, cozy bed. Alone. Yeah, Claire woke up in the middle of the night. It was like 1. 30 and I was literally rocking her to sleep and I was like, how do parents do this every night? And she's perfect and she's a little angel. She was all warm and snuggly and went right into my little nook in my neck and she just laid there and she's so cute and she's so perfect and I was like, I kind of get it. They're like so cute, but I'm also up in the middle of the night. What? What's happening? Yeah, no. I don't think it's that cute. I don't. Colleen's like, mm, yeah, so no. It's not, the little nuzzle in the neck isn't cute enough for me. And I just got so excited when Dani made a friend at the park, and I was like, taking pictures of it. I'm like, It's gonna follow up on Joshua. Yeah, where is Joshua? Where are they now? But I was like, wow, I feel like, uh, I went full parent for the weekend. Diapers and all. Oof. Ha ha ha ha! Good for you! Oh, boy. I hope Aaron and Jo had a great time. Yeah, my sister and brother in law went to Nashville and they, they had a blast. Good. They deserved. They never, I know we just got back from Phoenix, but that's family stuff. They never go away alone, so I'm glad they got to go. I was happy for them mm. Me too. I Just forgot I had wine. I literally forgot. I was like, mm, I'm kind of thirsty, and then I was like, oh! A pleasant surprise! Are you ready for Britney Spears Part 2? I am. It's all I've been thinking about. Britney Jean Spears. My sources today are Britney's memoir, The Woman in Me, The New York Times Presents episodes framing Britney and controlling Britney Spears. Wikipedia, and I will post everything. Before we jump into this, something I want everyone to keep in mind who's listening to this part two, regardless of what you think Britney Spears mental state is, because if you, like me, are, you know, have seen her on social media, you're like, something might not be right here. Is she okay? I want you to put that to the side for a second, and I want you to just listen to this episode and what happens next. and ask yourself if the punishment fit the crime. If someone who has a mental illness, if you truly believe that, should they be treated in this particular way? Or really, any human being, for that matter. Cool? Yep. Open mind? I already have my answer to that, so yes. Okay, great. Mental illness. Once again, trigger warning, abuse, postpartum depression. mental illness, it gets pretty ugly. And it keeps getting worse and then I swear it does get better. We leave off on a better note. So, where the last episode ended was Brittany's just got married to Kevin, she's pregnant, she's taking a break from work, she's excited for her life to change, she's been working her ass off since she was 15 years old and now it's time to just focus on starting her new family. Right? She's a mother. She's a mother. No drama. So tabloids were regularly running photos while she's pregnant. Britney Spears gets huge. Oh my god. Britney Spears not wearing makeup while she's pregnant, which is like... Fuck off. Fuck right off. And paparazzi were incentivized to get unposed or unflattering photos of her. So none of them look cute. And on September 14th, 2005, Brittany and Kevin welcomed their first son to the world, Sean Preston. And Brittany got pregnant right away. Three months later, she got pregnant with their son, Jaden James. She was over the moon. So thrilled. So excited that they were going to be so close together, like besties for the resties. And before Brittany became a mom, a photo of her would sell up to 1 million to certain magazines. And papers? The board. Pictures of Brittany's children were like liquid gold. They were even more. Ew. So with her being a new mom, the paparazzi have turned all of their antics up 1, 000 notches. In the documentary, and one woman says she was single handedly keeping some of these magazines in business just off of pictures of her. That's crazy. So the headlines changed from her being overweight to claiming she was an unfit mother. There are a bunch of things that happen back to back to back that just suck. Uh, one of the most popular stories is her driving. away, uh, from Starbucks with her son Sean Preston in her lap in the driver's seat. The context behind this photo was Brittany was coming out of Starbucks, there were paparazzi surrounding her and this isn't like what you see with Taylor Swift where there's a person walking in front of you kind of like parting the sea and they don't, they get right in her face and flash it in her face. And there's like 80 people, not three. You know what I mean? Not that it, that would be, three still sucks, but when you come out of Starbucks and you have a little baby who's crying and you have photographers in your face flashing, it's a lot. So she said, I just needed to get out of there. So I just hopped in the front seat and drove away. But then of course she kept driving. Like she went on the highway with him like that. So. Not a great idea, but where she was from, where she was raised, they did that all the time. Also, any person that says anything bad, like, ill about that or makes a comment about it has done worse. So shut your fucking mouth. Everyone's saying she's an unfit mother. It goes everywhere. Then there was an issue where Sean Preston... was with the nanny. He fell out of his high chair and he hit his head. What happens literally all the time to kids, Brittany takes him to the doctor. She won't say what happened exactly, but they treated her very poorly and later they even called child services on her and they showed up and found no evidence of any harm. He literally just bumped his head all over the tabloids. Remember the 1800s guys? Do you remember your parents? She was drinking at 13. Like, uh, hello? Hello. Then she's cu she's in New York City. She has Sean on her hip. And she has a cup of water. And... She slips like on the cobblestones. She like trips and as she trips he kind of goes. Let me show you because this will make more sense in the video she's coming out of somewhere She's getting into like a black car and there's a security guard in front of her and the paparazzi are everywhere swarming Doing their thing and she slips she slips on the cobblestones and she does not spill ounce of water and the baby goes back a little bit but he doesn't cry. He's completely unaffected. He's fine. Also when she goes up to the car they're like get in on the other side. Do you see what she's going through right now? Open the goddamn door and scooch whatever it is to the other side. Like why are you making her? Can I hold the water? Yeah can I help you with anything? So she jokingly says after she slips, this is why I need a gun. Which, tough choice of words but In her memoir, she was like, I was just at my wits end. Like, let me get in the fucking car with my kid. AfTer this, they go to a restaurant, Britney's hungry, she's being followed by the paparazzi, they get a picture of her at a restaurant. That is the saddest photo you've ever seen. Shawn is on her lap, she's in the restaurant, she's crying, and she was hoping when she went into the restaurant, they would like give her some sanctuary, and when she walked in they all start taking pictures and recording her, and to the point where she was crying and a person walked up to her and was like, can I have a picture with you? While all 80 to 100 paparazzi are outside just getting her picture from the outside. Really overwhelming, obviously. I have a picture of it. It's heartbreaking. Ugh, that's so sad. Like if you saw her like this, you would go up to that person and say, Can I have a picture with you? No, never! Like, leave her the fuck alone! So... The photo of her mid fall is scrutinized and picked apart. Late night hosts were making fun of her about being a bad parent. Talk show hosts have quote unquote experts on their show, rip her to shreds. You know, she's an unfit mother. Yada, yada, yada. One woman's like, she needs to take safety classes. Like, child safety classes. There's another photo where Sean's in a car seat and he's facing forward in the back seat and you're supposed to be facing backward. So that became a thing. It gets so bad she sits down for another interview with Matt Lauer this time on Dateline, who is such a fucking creep, and between the two of them, he has done far worse things than Britney Jean Spears. I watched it today on YouTube. If anyone would like to see it, you can just simply YouTube it. He talks to her a lot about her marriage because every tabloid was saying they're on the brink of divorce, and she's like, No, I love him, our marriage is great. He straight up asked her, like, he was with another woman and has two young children, like, why, why do you think he won't do that to you? And she was like, no, not, not with me, it's different with me. They go through each incidence with her kids. Imagine if you could explain yourself in public on national television and, like, defend your relationship. In front of the entire world. I can't. He then brings up every single incident, like the backwards car seat, the slip in New York, the high chair, the child's, like, goes through each one, and she talks about how the paparazzi switched to cruelty after the split with Justin. She was a pop princess and then she was like public enemy number one after Justin. She talks about how they never leave her alone, how she feels targeted, and that she's a young parent. She's going to make mistakes and she's going to keep making mistakes and they need to give her some grace. And at one point Matt Allauer asks her, what do you think it will take for the paparazzi to leave you alone? And Brittany shakes her head and says, I don't know. And she starts to cry. It's awful. So while all of this is happening, Brittany. Maybe defending her marriage, but it actually isn't going well and it's falling apart. And even while she's still pregnant with her second son, it's a mess. Kevin is getting a ton of press. He's feeling himself. He's starting to act a little bit more standoffish towards her. And he's essentially letting the fame and the money go to his head. And he came home, she talks about in her memoir, he comes home late one night and he's like, Hey Brittany, like, I just got back from a party, guess who was there? Lindsay Lohan and Justin Timberlake. While she's at home with their children. And she was like, I don't give a shit who was at your party. Also, fuck him! Let me go to bed, also. Fuck you. He just loved the press and the money and the fame and it just made him turn into a not great person. He decides to become a rapper. Hey everyone, please list one song you know from Kevin Federline. Oh, you know none? Great, moving on. Britney at first is super supportive of his career. She's like, hell yeah, he needs to do his own thing. love this for him. She goes to visit him in the studio while he's recording. She'd show up. All of his friends would be just sitting around smoking tons of weed. Ew. And Britney Spears actually doesn't like weed. It makes her feel funny. So she doesn't love the second hand high. Like she didn't, she didn't like being there. They didn't make her feel welcome at all. He starts coming home less and less and less. And then he started straight up refusing to see her altogether. Great. So at one point she flies. It's either New York City or Vegas. He's in one of the studios. She shows up and they're like, No, I'm sorry. He doesn't want you here. And she goes back to the hotel room and cries. Yeah. while all of this is happening, they build a dream home in California. Big yard, big house, tons of toys. She wanted her kids to be raised in this super cozy environment. The house she always wanted and the home that she always wanted to grow up in. Kevin's away. All the time and Britney is suffering from really bad postpartum depression and she starts recording her album, Blackout, which is Gimme, gimme more. Gimme, gimme more. Gimme, gimme more. Gimme, gimme more. In peace of me, which like, that's a banger. If you really listen to the words, it's like, oh, I get how you're feeling. Yes, now especially too. So, This is her only moments of peace. The paparazzi follow her so avidly that when she goes into the recording studio to record her songs for the Blackout album, She'd do it in under 30 minutes because the paparazzi would get tipped off that she was there in show, but she literally couldn't physically leave. So she would just run into the studio. But this is her moments of peace is when she's doing this album. Kevin gets a nationwide Super Bowl commercial. The commercial was Kevin working in a fast food restaurant and dreaming of becoming a star one day. And it is literally meant to make fun of him. And he accepted that offer and just Fully stopped speaking to Britney Spears. Oh, okay. You thought now that he had this he doesn't need her? She said, even talk to me. I'm sorry, you got a shitty nationwide commercial that makes fun of you, and now you are too good to speak to the mother of your children. Who just so happens to be the fucking princess of pop. Bitch. I mean, get a grip. Get all the grips. In November 2006, Brittany finds out that they're getting a divorce. It's gonna be one of them. Either Kevin files or Brittany's gonna file, but it's, it's happening. It's inevitable. And she gets, her team tells her that It would be less humiliating if she started the process. This backfires. Oh, really? Yup. She is now held personally responsible for breaking up her young family because she was the one to file and that is how the audience perceives it. I don't think she could have won. Either way, if she didn't file, it would be humiliating, Kevin doesn't want to be with Brittany anymore, Brittany does it. It would have been like, what did she do wrong to make Kevin? Right. She couldn't have won. So she files, it completely bites her in the ass. The press says she's breaking up her young family, it's all her fault. Kevin insists that Britney pay for all of his legal bills, and they both ask for full custody. I would have been like, where's the money from your fucking commercial, bitch? Also, Kevin's rap album came out the week before, and Britney believes that this timing was on purpose. Got it. What, what do we think his rap album was called? Probably something stupid. Uh, she said that the, between the breakup with Justin and the divorce from Kevin, she never trusted people again, and that they just knew how to play the game better than she did, because she was young and stupid and naive. Yep. This is, once again, another person in Brittany's life who uses her pain to move their career ahead. Brittany does mention that a really good friend to her, and someone who's always been really kind, was Paris Hillman. Of course. And she's someone who showed up, who would try to get her to loosen up and have fun and she could just go out with Paris and just like enjoy her nights out. This is also the time, so she tells a story about They have a beach house. They have like a family beach house that Brittany bought in Paris is like come on We're going out. So Brittany leaves the kids at home with her mother to babysit and meets up with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan Iconic they get drunk. They stay up super late They dance the night away and as they're leaving the paparazzi got the three of them in the car like that's the famous picture of the three of them in the car and when she gets home and wakes up, every magazine is saying she's the worst parent on the planet, that she's completely out of control. She's like 25 or 26 at the time. And when she gets home, her and her mother get into a really ugly fight. And it completely changes their relationship. And then Kevin used this night out to claim why he should get full custody because she's blackout drunk and out of control. Because she went out one time. And had her mother babysit at 25 years old. Then Kevin would do this horrible thing, which I don't even know how this was legal. He would take the boys for visitation and then just not drop them off when it was her time and not let her see them. So yeah, that doesn't sound legal. No. So she's a new mom. She's in her 20s. She's, has terrible postpartum. She's going through a nasty divorce. She's under the largest microscope in the world, arguably. She doesn't have a ton of friends. She can't trust anyone. She's unable to do anything right. If she takes time to go have fun, she's a bad mom and every person on the planet wants her to know it, even her own family. In no exaggeration, she cannot walk out her front door without becoming some sort of negative headline. She tries to continue to look and play the part, but she describes herself at this point as a raw nerf. And meanwhile, the double standard is that her husband, who has never been around for these kids, can go smoke weed in a studio and talk about his rap career. And he's not the problem. He also would always say that, like, being a parent was the most important thing to him. And Brittany's like, he literally does not see his children. And now he wants full custody. Like, fuck right off. So we're in 2007, which, if anyone knows... 2007 is a tough year for Brittany. I regularly say to myself, if Brittany can survive 2007, you can survive this day. Like, you, you got this. Is she gonna shave her head soon? She sure is. Uh, after weeks of not seeing the kids, she drives to Kevin's house and begs to see them. Outside of his door. begging him. They're a year and a half old and five months old. They're babies. They're babies. She's buzzing the door. He won't even let her in the gate. He completely refuses to see her, completely refuses her entry. The entire paparazzi show up and get all of this on camera. She says she's completely humiliated. She has no idea what to do. She's completely at her wits end, at her lowest point. They're chasing her for a photo, and she's like, So I gave them something to photograph. She went into a hair salon, she asked a woman to buzz her head, and the hairdresser refused. And so she took clippers and just went to town. And she said, I knew people loved my long hair, and this was like my fuck you to the world. I'm tired, I don't give a fuck anymore, I just want to see my kids. My life is in shambles. Of course, you can imagine the response was fucking ugly. people were saying how ugly she was, how unhinged she was, every late night show, you know, it's everywhere. A few days later, her cousin takes her back to Kevin to continue to beg to see her children again. Like, just let her in. Just let her in and let her see her kids it's this weird control thing that he can just like hold this above her head. Yeah. But it's, it's so cruel. So, they try to sneak over. Someone from the paparazzi is tipped off. Then he calls his friend and he's like, something's going down. You and I should show up and get the like, the good shots. They stop at a gas station. Her cousin's paying. So she runs into the, the store, and Britney is sitting in the passenger seat, and they just won't let it go, and they're like, Britney, Britney, and they're poking, and they're taking pictures of her, and she has a shaved fucking head, and she looks absolutely miserable, and they keep asking her questions. Her cousin comes back out, they go to Kevin's, they buzz, buzz, buzz, nothing. He won't talk to them, he won't come out, and he won't let her in. She's completely fucking distraught. They leave Kevin's, they're being chased by the paparazzi. Naturally. They pull off and they go in front of like a Jiffy Lube. That's, they just pulled to the side of the road and they were just trying to figure out what to do next. The paparazzi pull over, they run up to the car and they have their lenses like in her face and they keep asking all of these very intrusive questions. One guy says, I'm going to ask you a couple questions and then I'm going to leave you alone. And her cousin's like, please go away. This is not the time. Please, I'm begging, like, please go away. They won't go away. They keep pushing and pushing. Brittany says they keep asking and every time she reacted, one of them would smile. Yeah. And one of them says, how does it feel to not be able to see your kids? And she snaps and there's an umbrella in the car and she takes the umbrella and she goes up to the car and she whacks the shit out of the passenger side of the car. And she's swearing and she's yelling and then she gets back into the car and they drive away and they're not followed because the damage is done. And in the New York Times documentary, this guy, who was the paparazzo, is interviewed and he says, quote, It wasn't a good night for her but it was a great night for us because we got the money shot. That one photo, I know exactly the one. He also says that Brittany never explicitly said we should leave her alone. And the interviewer off camera says what about when she said leave me alone? And he said, well, she told us to leave her alone for like, a day, but she didn't tell us to leave her alone forever. What? Paparazzi are a different fucking breed. I just, okay, if people were really worried about her mental health, because no one is discussing mental health at this point. The problem with all of this is everyone is incentivized to monopolize on her suffering. They're making too much money off of it. Perez Hilton, who I cannot fucking stand. Went on I forget what talk show and thanks Britney Spears publicly on the TV show and said it's bad for her But it's great for business Like, my business is booming. The late night show host, she was a category on Family Feud where the question was, what has Brittany lost? Where some of the answers were her hair, her mind, her kids, etc. Like, she is getting ripped to shreds on every, she's public enemy number one. She can't do a single thing right and she's not a saint. I will say that too. Like you obviously should not Take a weapon. I don't care if it's an umbrella or anything and get out of the car and beat someone with it No, I think her reaction was extremely sane and I probably wasn't but if you poke someone enough they're going to crack They want her to though. They want her to crack so that they can get a picture of it. It's so Fucked up. So that winter, she was told if she went to rehab, it would help her in her custody battle and her public image, even though she did not have a substance abuse problem. So she wanted to see her kids more. So she went. Her father told her she was a fucking disgrace. So she goes and it works temporarily. She gets out. She gets 50 50 custody of the boys. Her custody battle issues are far from over, but for right now, we have 50 50. Okay. We can work with 50 50. Right. The VMAs. So, like I said in part one, the VMAs are a really big deal to Brittany. The 2007 VMAs, specifically, was the worst. Her team really wanted her to perform, to show the world she's fine, everything's okay, Black Oatly album's gonna be released, this is a good way to market it. She's a fucking mess. She doesn't want to do it. They're like, you have to do it. She's not the right headspace. Everything went wrong for her that night. There was issue with her hair. There was, Is she half hair at this point? Yeah. Yeah, they must have put a wig on her or something, extensions of some kind, you know, there were issues with her costume because she had had two babies and so people were like freaking out that she was bigger than, it's like a fucking quarter, she had two children back to back, obviously her body's not going to be the same, for the love of everything that is holy. She runs into Justin Timberlake backstage, and he's on top of the world, he has this like amazing performance. Hers is so bad. I watched it today. She looks off. She's very clearly lip syncing. She like doesn't really know the choreography. She's like not super into it. She looks so uncomfortable and out of it. And she says in her memoir, quote, you don't normally have your worst day of your life on the same day. Your ex has one of their best. Yep. So he has this like amazing night and everything falls to shit for her. I'll just play you like a hot second of it. You're gonna be so uncomfortable. I probably recognize it by her outfit. She's like moving in slow motion. She looks so confused. Yeah, she does. She's giving like a 2 right now. A 2 out of 10. I was gonna say, she usually commands a stage. And she looks... Terrible. Yeah. It's just not good. No, it's terrible. And she says, I'm not proud of it. I was not proud of it. She was just, that's what state she was in. Her performance is, of course, ripped to shreds. Dr. Phil called it a train wreck. Dr. Phil, please. Hey, Dr. Phil! Do me a solid in kick fuckin rocks. You should not be weighing in anything ever. No, never. So, they have her do an interview with Ryan Seacrest to market her new album. She has set no questions ahead of time. She just wanted to hop on, talk about her music really quick, and hop off. So she calls in, and... Her manager at the time, Sam, is on the line, and her cousin is there, and... They have really bad service too, so Ryan Seacrest is like, wait, what? You're breaking up? Like it's one of those. It's bad. He starts talking about the media pressure and she, you know, does it affect you? And she's like, yeah, of course. His next questions are, how do you respond to those who criticize you as a mom? Do you feel like you're doing everything you can for your kids? And how often do you see your kids? were his next three questions. A kid should be untouched in any conversation. Her manager, Sam, yells, Let's talk about fun stuff! And then he asks some random question about Tony Romo because I guess she was seen with Tony Romo, who's a football player, and she says no, and then she just gives her cousin the phone, and her cousin basically does the rest of the interview. It is such an awkward, You can also YouTube it, it is such an awkward Interview, it made me want to crawl out of my skin. That's the worst. So these two things happen back to back, like the VMAs and Seacrest. More things start falling apart, uh, her management team quit. One of her bodyguards went to court against Brittany in the custody case and said she was doing drugs. Even though she never failed a drug test and he was never cross examined. A court appointed parenting coach said that there was absolutely nothing wrong in their home. That she clearly loved her kids and had a very strong bond with them. There was nothing abusive going on. That part never made it to the press. Never does. During one of her attempts to see her kids at Kevin's house when she was leaving, or more accurately, escaping the paparazzi, she ran over one of their foot, one of their feet by accident. He sued her and took her to court as well and she had to settle with him and pay a large sum of money. So people are just dragging her. Fast forward to January 2008. She has a particularly bad incident. Brittany, she has the boys, right? And she's handing them over to the security team for Kevin. So she's giving them back to Kevin. She gives up Sean Preston and has just this moment of pure panic and she feels as though she may never see her sons again. And, again, this is not that crazy. If you think about what seat she's in, and also keep in mind that Kevin would take the kids and not allow her to see them for weeks on end, or contact her, and make her jump through all these, she just has this moment of being scared she might not see her kids ever again. And she takes Jaden, and she runs into the bathroom and locks the door. And her friend comes in and is like, take a minute, calm down, we're not gonna call the police, but when you're ready, like, come back out and essentially give your kid up. They call the police. So, she's in this bathroom and she basically says like a SWAT team comes in and rips my kid from my arms in the bathroom as she's screaming and crying. They strap her to a gurney and they take her to the hospital. And the video of her getting to the hospital is Gut wrenching, about a hundred photographers are chasing after the ambulance holding onto the back of it with their cameras in the lenses in the back two windows and the doors. I can't get a grip. And then they're all swarming the actual hospital waiting for her to come out. They hold her there for 72 hours. They do that like hold just to make sure she's okay. Nothing, everything was fine. She just had a moment, but of course the damage is done. She didn't give the kids up when she was supposed to, which is court ordered, which makes sense even though You know, like that, that is the way that it works. So Brittany was ordered to see them even less than what she had at the time. Uh, she starts to believe at this point her family's working against her, her parents, everybody. She's deeply depressed. She starts dating a photographer. He's 10 years older than her, he's nice to her, it just makes me sad that so many people were mean and cruel in trying to get something from her that a photographer who just like showed some level of kindness is just like someone she starts dating. He really let her be herself and he started encouraging that she do things separate from her family. So guess who doesn't like him? Her family who are very vocal about it, and they make her feel very weird and Turns out he's married. Oh good lord. Mm hmm. Come on, man. So one day they call her out of the blue And they're like, the cops are after you. We need to meet you at the beach house. And Brittany's like, what? We just had a sleepover two nights ago with our cousins and my mom. Like, how did we go from sleepover to the cops are coming for me? And she, she just said everyone was acting weird. Her mom was acting weird. So they show up to the beach house. She's with the photographer and he says to her, something's up, right? Like something just is off. She said, the next thing she knew helicopters, full SWAT team. enters the house, and this is where Brittany is introduced to the conservatorship. So, let's talk about this for a second. For those of you who aren't aware about conservatorships, this is when a person is unable to make their own decisions and or can be easily influenced into fraud. So, think about the scams that they do on poor grandmas where they call you and like, a Nigerian prince needs all of your money. Like that type of thing. And it's like, or if you're a vegetable and you need to make decisions. You're unable to function and what happens is you get a conservator who acts as like a third party who has your best interests at heart. They're there to protect you and to help you, right? Throughout all of this, right, exactly, throughout all of this, her father is not around. Her mother Lynn and Felicia were her parents, her whole life. He had ongoing battles with alcoholism, he floated from job to job, he had one successful job building a gym. but then that went out of business, he fired, filed for bankruptcy, he was in debt, he had absolutely no interest in what she was doing as long as it paid the bills. Like early, early on when she was little, he said to one of the executives, my daughter's going to be so rich, she's going to buy me a boat. He could have given two shits about her mental state as long as she was paying for shit. That's all he cared about. He had gone to rehab months before becoming Britney's conservator. Right, that makes sense. There were times when she had called him over the years for help and he wouldn't show up. But now that he saw a way to control her and her money and everything that she does, he was all in. Jamie Spears set up two conservatorships. One for Brittany and one for her estate. Her estate at the time is worth tens of millions of dollars. Mm-Hmm. Brittany was not allowed to pick her own lawyer who she had to pay for and cost$500,000 a year, and Jamie got a Coss conservator named Andrew Wallet, who Brittany also had to pay for, and he was 400,000 plus dollars a year. Great. She paid for everything and everyone involved in her own conservatorship that she did not as far, yep. her mother, Lynn, had known the entire time that they had planned to do this, the woman who had a sleepover with her days before. She also wrote a memoir and talked about parenting, and Brian at the time was still trying to figure his shit out, and trying to get his father's approval. Jamie Lynn was a pregnant teenager and Britney was in full meltdown mode. It was 2007. All these things happened in the same year, in 2008 I mean. Lynn Spears went on the Today Show and said she'd spent hours wondering how things went so wrong with Britney. She went on every single morning show to promote her memoir the same time that Britney was going through a conservatorship and Britney said in her memoir, quote, the timing was un fucking believable. Her mother's book does really well and it was all at Britney's expense. And I just can't imagine being Britney and going through this and your father controlling everything and your mother is just writing and airing out all of your dirty laundry to anyone who will listen just to make herself some money. So Jamie Spears takes two rooms of Britney's house and turns it into his office. Ugh. And Brittany had a bowl of receipts and it was to track like her finances and her tax deductions. Which, doesn't that sound like someone who needs a conservatorship? And they have a bowl of receipts so that they can keep track of their fuckin taxes. It's more than I have, so... And he sits her down, and he says, quote, I just want you to know, I call all the shots. You sit right there in that chair, and I'll tell you what goes on. I'm Britney Spears now. End quote. Ew. Full body chills. Hate. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. It's giving... You're my puppet. Yeah. She's a prisoner. There's, there's honestly no other way to put it. Here is what they had control over. They controlled who was able to see her, visit her, and cut her off from most of her friends. And if you were coming over to visit, you had to sign a waiver. She was not allowed any money of her own. She was given, and by her own, I mean all of the money she was earning. She was allowed a 2, 000 a week allowance. She's a bajillionaire. Like, 2, 000 a week. What the fuck is happening. She was allowed limited access to her cell phone. Uh, she also didn't realize that it had all the parental controls on it. They could see every convo with every boyfriend she's ever had. Her lawyer, they saw all of that. They were tracking it. they tried a few times to smuggle her burner phone, but they always got caught and took it away from her. He had control over her doctors and what medications she was on, what doctors she saw, how often she went to the doctors. They made her get an IUD because they didn't want her to get pregnant again. he controlled all of her touring and contract decision making. So if someone reached out and was like, Hey, we want Brittany to do X, Y, and Z, she'd be, he would go, Yep, we're doing it. Regardless of if Brittany wanted to do it or not. They controlled what she ate and how often she worked out. Jamie repeatedly told her that she was fat and that she needed to lose some weight. She was not allowed to drive. Her own cars, she was not allowed to go out drinking or make any new friends. She did not drink at all. Uh, she was never allowed to see her photographer boyfriend ever again. And if she started dating someone new. I, it's not funny at all, I'm just in utter shock. they run a background check on them. They make them sign an NDA. They lay out her entire medical and sexual history to that person. What? Here's all the people she has slept with. Why do they need to know that? That's a great question. And they'd be like, so do you still want to do this? It's a business deal. Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah. If she did not comply to these things, because a lot of people were like, why would you ever agree to this? She couldn't see her kids. So she went along with it. She knew if she played nice and she went along with it, that it would give her more time with her children. And she basically says, I also just didn't have a lot of fight left in me. I was like, fine. Honestly, fucking fine. I've already shaved my head. Yeah, like, have we not got, have we not hit the bottom yet, which we unfortunately have not. I think what's also especially awful is once she comes to terms with the fact that the conservatorship is happening, which it never should have in the first place, but she was like, fine, you want a conservatorship so I can see my kids, fine, but let the bank control my finances or a lawyer. It shouldn't be my father. He's literally terrified me since I was a little kid. He has substance abuse issues. It should be a third party. No skit in the game. And nothing to gain from me being under a full He rigged the system. So, after the conservatorship started, they put Brittany to work. She went on a grueling world tour for Circus. It was making constant TV appearances. She was on How I Met Your Mother. Good morning, America. They signed her up for tree lightings around Christmas, talk shows, everything you can imagine she was getting thrown into. But the other part of this is if she was so unwell and couldn't make her own decisions, how was she able to work this much? Agreed. The circus tour grossed over 130 million. Jamie Spears was making 16, 000 a month and he set up himself a way that he got 1. 5 percent of all of Britney's revenue. On top of the 16K. Just for funsies? Just for funsies. He separated her from everyone, even Felicia. No! Yep, so Felicia's in a lot of the documentaries and there's this one awful story where she's on the circus tour and Felicia gets called like into the office and Jamie's in there with her team and he's like Brittany doesn't want to see you anymore. She doesn't want you to go on the European leg of the tour Like do not go and Felicia says well all my rooms are already booked. I love her I want to be here for her. So why don't I just go and I just won't see her But if she needs anything, I'll be there for her and he was like make sure you don't fucking see her She doesn't want to see you. So Months go by, she doesn't see her, but she goes and one day, she walks into a room while Brittany, like, they're in the same building and they cross paths and Felicia said, the moment the team saw me, it was like the air got sucked out of the hallway. When Brittany sees Felicia, she runs full speed down the hallway, jumps on her, wraps her arms and legs around her and is like, Felicia, where have you been? Miss V, where have you been? I've missed you so much. And that is when, you know, Felicia's like, Oh my god, Brittany had no idea this was happening. She's not mad at me. That was a lie. So awful. And Brittany had no idea. In her memoir, she said, If I had known she wanted to do something for me, I would have never said no. I mean, it's her parent. It's like her, When Jamie's been off drinking his face off, you know what I mean? It's been Felicia. Another pretty tough story is on the circus tour. And this is in the documentary on Hulu. She worked the tour, she was like part of the team. And there's this box that you put Brittany in and you bring it to the stage. Kind of like what Taylor Swift does, right? When they opened the box, it smelled like pot, like weed. Brittany begins sobbing. in screaming and looked genuinely terrified and freaking out and they were trying to figure out what was going on. She told them she can't go in there because if she smells like pot she might not pass a drug test and not see her kids. And then she ran to her dressing room, her team follows her, they tell her suck it up buttercup and they put her ass in that box and launched her onto a stage and she did a full concert. From the smell of weed. That's how vulnerable this woman is. That is how broken down. They, they hang her kids over her at all times. Her allowance, the 2, 000 allowance. Uh, one time she's walking through the mall with her team of people. She liked a pair of shoes. She wasn't allowed to buy them because she did not have enough money. They were Skechers. Mm hmm. Oh, good lord. And one of her team, they end up, she says something like, let's just say it was for costumes and it was something. We needed for the show and then they didn't fit and we're gonna throw them out and she bought them for and gave it To Brittany for the record Brittany is making roughly 58 million dollars a year at the time One night she goes out with her friends and her dancers They go out, they have a big, nice dinner. She is not allowed to eat what they're all eating and she's not allowed to drink, but she tried to pay for the bill for everyone because she wanted to just say like, thank you. I appreciate all your hard work. Her debit card was declined because there wasn't enough money on it. I can't. She's worth 58 million, just with without her estate. Imagine being Britney Spears and having a card that does decline, period. Yeah, for real. They bugged her room. There's over 180 hours of audio. This is actually illegal. In certain states, you're not allowed to record someone without their consent. Uh, but there's a security company that Jamie hired worked Britney. So it didn't matter what Britney wanted. We're being paid top dollar, Jamie was their client, and one of their old security team members is in the documentary and talks very openly about it. Brittany is on autopilot. She wakes up every day. It's like Groundhog Day. You know, like, what are we doing today? They told her what to do. They told her what to eat. She didn't go out. She doesn't leave. When she does leave, it's to work. She's playing by the rules to appease Kevin. he would make her jump through hoops. He'd be like, okay, well, if you do X, Y, and Z, then you can probably see them. She did this for 13 years. It's a long ass time. They completely killed her spirit. Her heart wasn't in anything that she was doing, but she was weirdly succeeding, like, to the world in the sense of, in 2008, she won more than 20 awards. Peace of Me, the video, won every award including video of the year at the VMAs, one year after shaming her for her performance. Ironically, it's the album she created when she was apparently so out of control and incapacitated that her family needed a conservatorship and she's winning awards left, right, and center. She's still doing all these amazing things and she's working really hard, but she's miserable. She starts dating this guy, Jason, for a bit. He was an agent. She doesn't say a lot about it, but they dated for years. They actually got engaged at one point. He then becomes her co conservator. Which, like, what? But she falls out of love with him. He is also, though, ten years older than her. Good lord. Do we see a pattern here, gang? Maybe we just need to be loved and nurtured? Why is it so hard for people to treat her well? I don't understand. Uh uh. So, anyway, time goes on. She's being a robot. Perform, perform, perform. She gets approached to do a Las Vegas residency. This is obviously a very big deal in very big money. Huge. She signs to do a few years in Vegas, and she says for a while. I really enjoyed it She starts seeing a TV producer named Charlie He was a big like really into working out and stuff I roll and so he shares all of his tips with her in You know, what vitamins he takes and what supplements and he shares with her these energy supplements that she really liked. They made her feel more energized. They made her feel more confident on stage and during her performances. They're over the counter. They're like not anything crazy. Jamie Spears, uh, did not like it and he sent her to rehab for over the counter energy supplements. I can't. She had to go for a month and went with like hardcore drug addicts. For energy supplements. It's literally not funny. It's not funny at all, but it's insane. It's insane. And she like, I can't. So, she goes to her month, uh, she had a bodyguard who she ate lunch with every day. Otherwise, she's, you know, completely siloed. Jamie told her when she got out, when her month was up, get back out there. So she went right to performing in Vegas, like, nothing fucking happened. Damn. The residency alone earned her a million dollars a week. For three years? Four. Four. Holy shit. She's not seeing any of it though. He controls everything. She's still making 2, 000 a week on her budget. Damn. A million dollars a week for 52 weeks. For four years. For four years. Jesus Christ. Yep. Jamie is incredibly harsh over Brittany's body, which is actually why I'm surprised he's not for the energy supplements. Yeah. Anything that she puts in her body that he does not approve, he doesn't like. Like I said, super strict diets, no alcohol, no dessert. They recorded how often she went to the bathroom and like what time of day. Interesting. her family, meanwhile. Lives in the home that she bought and they eat and drink all the fucking time like all the best food and wine and Her dad's like a big Jack and Coke guy and they all get to drink and eat whatever the hell They want while she starves and works herself to death for them. She tries to smuggle the energy pills later and he finds out and tries to send her back to rehab and she's like, I won't. And so he's like, fine, you can do outpatient if you go to AA four times a week. This actually Even though it makes no fucking sense. It ends up being really good for her because she finds other women who are super inspiring and strong and going through their own challenges. If any of you listening have been to an AA meeting, they're very powerful to hear other people's story. Like there's a, there's a reason why people go to AA, right? And so she actually... Gets a lot out of it, but her schedule is completely fucking insane. Ready for this? So Vegas is four weeks on, four weeks off. So one month on, one month off. When the Vegas show is on, right? She does three two hour shows a week. She has to attend four AA meetings weekly, three hours of personal training, two hours of therapy, plus fan meet and greets. Meet and greets start, they charge 2, 500 bucks for Britney Spears. More than she makes in her one week allowance? Yes, that's correct. That is correct, Colleen. And they're like, it's only going to be 20 people, right? And She loves her fans, and of course Jamie is all for it because she's gonna make bank doing it, or he'll make bank. Something really quickly about meet and greets, by the sounds of it, incredibly draining. Uh, yeah. Because you're meeting new people every, I don't, you know, 15 minutes. They're spending a lot of time and money. and they idolize you. So there's a ton of pressure to just be like on and the best version and the stakes are really high that you you meet people's expectations and it's a lot for anyone. So, starts off at 20 is sometimes upwards of 40. Jamie gets a cut of all of it. Nice. One hairdresser sees her Schedule one day and she's like girlfriend. What are you doing? And Brittany's like it's a lot, right? She's like you're an artist you need to clear some of your calendars You have like space to think and be creative and try new things and listen to new music Like you can't operate like this Brittany never saw that hairdresser again. Somehow that got back to Jamie So a few years of this go by Britney is starting to get her strength back. She starts pushing back on some decisions being made. She's voicing, you know what, I don't want to do that. She wants to do it this way instead. One of the requests is that she add new songs and dances to the Vegas residency. She's like, I'm doing the same show four years over and over. Same exact set, same dancing, same everything. She had a new album, Glory, and she was like, I want to add that in with some new choreography. They're like, no. She's like, okay, well, what if we did remixes of the old songs so we could bring something new to my fans? It's really important to me to change things up because in to her point think about if you went to Britney You know one year and you're like, oh I would love to go back if it's a different show and you go and see the exact Same thing. She'd probably make more money if They told everyone that it changed, because people want to go back and see the new stuff. They told her no. It wasn't a priority for Jamie, and Brittany's opinion did not matter. So, she has two vacations a year with her kids. She loves taking them to Hawaii. It's like one of her favorite places on the planet. She's been doing Vegas for four years. And it's about to come to an end. She gives her entire team a heads up, like, Hey, I really need that time off with my kids. It's really important to me. They, like, didn't get to go the year before because of a tour she had to go on that they threatened her with. So, her team's like, Yeah, no problem. Sounds good. Right before Vegas ends, a team member of hers comes in and is like, You can't have it. And she's like, what are you talking about? Jamie has decided that she's actually taking the Vegas show on the road and doing that as a tour for a bit. But if she does it, she can have the whole summer off. Until the summer comes and then it's something else. Right. And so she pushes back and pushes back and they're like, you don't have a choice. You're contractually obligated. And if you don't do it, we'll bring you to court. We'll sue you. Because, essentially, it's already planned. So, she's like, but I'll get the summer off. And they're like, yep, no problem. Horrible tour. it was miserable for everyone. Even her dancers were under some of the same restraints that Brittany was. So, if you were a dancer and you wanted to leave your hotel room, you'd have to give security two hours notice. So they were either working or they were in their hotel rooms alone. Which sounds super fun. They do the same show over and over again. No new arrangements, no remixes, no choreography. Just stifling her really at every turn. Every opinion she had, they told her to fuck off. She gets back and they're like, you have three weeks before your new Vegas residency starts. She's like, new Vegas residency? I'm not doing another Vegas residency. They're like, you're contractually obligated. It was either court, never see your kid, they just held all of the things above her head. The only thing she cared about. tactics and threatening at every corner. She's completely heartbroken. She just needs a break. She just wants to rest. And to be honest, If they had given her a bit more, I think this would have gone much longer. But they let her do nothing. The court allowed all of this. Brittany went to court in 2014. She tried to get out of the conservatorship. She talked about how her dad was an alcoholic and brought up his incredibly erratic behavior. The court did nothing. The judge did not listen to her. In 2016, Brittany brought up her conservatorship on a talk, a talk show. That part of the interview was cut and never made it to the air. Andrew Wallet is the co conservator on the case. He asked the court for a raise. And he submits this document, quote, The Conservatives business activities have greatly accelerated due to her increased well being and her capacity to be more engaged in furthering her career activities. The next several years promise to be very lucrative for the conservatorship estate. This conservatorship should be viewed more as a hybrid business model. End quote. She's a person. The court did nothing. Conservatorships do not work like this. If you can prove that you are a functioning human who can make their own decisions, it should end. Period. Yeah. Period. This should have ended so many different times. She went to court and begged and they did not let her out. So, October 2018, Brittany does something that changes everything. Let me just say, it gets very bad, and then we turn a corner. Uh, she was set to announce the brand new Vegas residency that she absolutely did not want to do. It was a bigger stage, it was in a new spot, it was a really big deal. They have this crowd come out, she's supposed to do a performance, and then announce it. It's front of, MGM, Mario Lopez is there to announce, you know, like the princess, the queen of Vegas, I think he yells, and they do a light show on the MGM hotel, and it's a Britney medley through the light show, and then Till the World End starts playing, and she comes up like out of the ground on a platform, fireworks are popping off, it's this whole big deal. She's waving at all her fans, she's supposed to do a performance. Work bitch starts playing, she walks down the stairs, she goes over, she signs autographs, she's waving to people, and she just fucking leaves. People are so confused there. They're yelling into headsets fans are like was was that was that it? Yeah, like what's going on? She did that on purpose. She was like you have all stifled me at every turn I am NOT playing by your rules anymore. Fuck all y'all her father was livid so They technically didn't announce the residency, but they also technically didn't cancel it yet. So they're still going through the motions, they're hiring dancers, new and old, they're working on choreography of what the show might look like. They're at rehearsals, and her dancers are like doing all these crazy moves, and one does a gainer. A gainer is when you're moving forward, but you do a backflip. Backtalk. She's like, yeah, I'm not doing that. I love that for you though. Like, good for you. And so she's like, actually, can I try some new dance move? And they're spotting her and they're all talking about it. Like, no, nothing crazy. Her team storms into an office and shuts the door. And she's like, Okay. What's the beef? What's the deal? And I, I think, personally, they're worried that she'll get hurt because if she's not working they don't make money. Yeah, that's true. That's true. So, a day later her therapist confronts her and she also didn't get to choose her therapist. I mean, why would she choose that? She chose anything else! Right? The therapist, says you're back on your energy supplements, we know you're sneaking them, you're out of control, people are saying you're giving everyone a hard time at rehearsals, and Brittany's like, there's, everyone is around me all the time, go ask any of my dancers, I'm not out of, I'm not giving anyone a hard time, all I do is work, And then the therapist informs Brittany that they're going to send her to a facility over Christmas break. And before they do, they're going to have a doctor come in and test her cognitive abilities. So the next day, a doctor shows up at her home. They test her for hours. I don't know what type of testing, but hours. I think she says four hours at one point. This was not court appointed by the way. This was all Jamie and at the end Jamie comes in and He says something is seriously wrong with you and you completely bombed it and don't worry You're going to rehab in Beverly Hills It's a small rehab design just for you and you'll be paying 60, 000 a month. Great She says how long am I going for and he says well that depends on how well you do and how well you behave Could be a month could be two months could be three months And she says, what if I don't go? And he told her that he'd bring her to court and he said, quote, We will make you look like a fucking idiot and trust me, you will not win. And she said, no, I'm not going. Good for her. And they dragged her kicking and screaming as she begged not to go to that rehab facility. She was there for three months. The news said she voluntarily checked herself into a mental health clinic. She absolutely did not. For the first two months, she is completely alone. She can't go outside. She can't take a bath in private. She has to give Blood Weekly. She was watched while she's changed while she was naked. She had no privacy They didn't even put a door on her room. They forced her to wake up every day at 8 a. m She has mandatory therapy for hours of the day She watches out the window as people come and go none of them actually helping her or listening to her She was told it was for her own good, but No one is listening. She was treated like a criminal. If she asserted herself, she was out of control. If she said nothing and did nothing, she wasn't showing any signs of improvement. There was no way she could win. She called Jamie to beg her to let her out and he said there's nothing I can do, which Britney's future lawyer would tell her that was a complete lie, he could have ended the treatment on day one. She asked her mother and sister for help in Jamie Lynn. Her sister said stop fighting it. Her kids would come in for an hour on the weekends, but if she pushed back or did anything wrong throughout the week, she wasn't allowed to see them. They wouldn't bring them. She had to do every single thing that they asked her to do. She was put on lithium, which if you remember from part one, is a really sick, twisted irony because it's the same drug they put her grandmother on, Emogene. Uh, like I said, first two months, essentially solitary confinement. The third month, they move her to a facility with other people, which was better, obviously, when you're around other humans. She misses the holidays with her family. And these three months crush her soul, for the record. it just wasn't about a dangerous stunt in rehearsal. It just was about that she didn't behave and didn't announce the Vegas residency. That's what it comes down to. She misbehaved and this is how they handled it. So, this is probably the lowest point. Of her life. If, if not one of, then the lowest point. However, this is Jamie Spears downfall. Because when she goes in, she goes completely dark. She's not on social media, she's not tweeting, nothing is coming from her. And Britney's fans start asking, where the fuck is she? And one day, a nurse pulls her aside and shows her the TV, and on TV is a talk show with a woman sitting with a hashtag FreeBritney t shirt asking questions like, where is she? Why is, why haven't we heard from her? Everyone's questioning now, is she being held against her will? It's all over the news. And this is, of course, when the FreeBritney movement begins. And it couldn't have come at a better time, because like, think of the state she's in at this point. Mm hmm. And she God bless that nurse that brought her, by the way. I know. I know. And she had completely lost hope, and she sees this morning show, and she's like, I know. That my fans care about me and are looking for me and she says that it saved her and that Them standing up for her when she couldn't stand up for herself when no one else had her back saved her life So after three and a half months she goes home first week. She's back Jamie calls her and is like we're so proud of you You did it now. We're all coming to stay with you And they fly out and just make themselves at home and act like nothing happened while Brittany, still on lithium, dead behind the eyes, is now a host. Jamie Lynn, her sister, booked meetings with like different, for her own career. She ruins Zoey 101, also. She shows up at home, and she's like, Britney, you know what we should do? We should do a talk show. Britney, you know what we should do? We should do a rom com. It's like pitching ideas to Britney while she's fucking comatose. So when they finally leave, Britney is overcome with rage against all of them. As she should be. And this rage, this blind rage, gets worse when a couple months later, Jamie gets into an argument with Britney's son, Sean. And he's 13 at the time. He locks himself in his bedroom to end the argument. And Jamie Spears... broke down the bedroom door and shook him violently. To the point where Kevin filed a police report and Jamie was barred from seeing the kids. So, somehow, still in charge of her conservatorship. And that was it. This is like what knocks her out of her stupor. It lights a fire under her ass. She is dead set on getting them out of her life and ending this conservatorship once and for all. Nobody fucking messes with her kids. Like, the, the line has been fully, wholly crossed. I mean, it was crossed over. What does Joey say in Friends? The line is a dot to you! Like, just, it's over. So in June of 2021, Brittany calls the police to report her father for conservatorship abuse. June 23rd. 2021. Brittany gets to speak for the first time publicly for the world to hear because for this whole time, for this 13 years, she has not been able to speak about it publicly. So all of her fans are outside the courtroom and this is COVID so she calls into the courtroom and everyone is listening. They even have her on speakerphone like you can, you can watch them listen to her do her speech before she can even get a word out. One of the lawyers says, I think we should really clear the courtroom and seal the transcripts. And, you know, just make sure that this is, and Britney cuts her off, and is like the way that I have been exploited in my life. They should all stay, and everyone should be able to hear what I have to say. And they're like, yes, bitch. High level. I'll give you, you know, the deets. She talks for 23 minutes straight. I listened to the whole thing earlier. She asked for the conservatorship to end without her being evaluated. Because normally you have to be evaluated to prove she's like, I have been evaluated enough. Not one more stranger is coming into my home to evaluate me. Fuck right off. She doesn't say that. I'm paraphrasing. But you know what I mean. She asked for permission for her boyfriend to drive her in the car. Imagine having to ask that. You're Britney fucking Spears. Insane. Like, what? What? She asked to get her IUD removed and reveals that she didn't ever want it and she actually wants to get married and have babies but her team told her no because if she's pregnant she can't work. Colleen. Duh. And if she's married, then someone will get half. She asked for her therapist to be once a week instead of twice and that he come to her house instead of her going to him because her team specifically picked a place that was open season for paparazzi and they were waiting outside the therapy office and getting pictures of her crying when she left. And she said, I deserve privacy. They should come to my home. I also didn't pick my therapist. So, she talks about how she's not okay, how angry she is, how she cries every single day, that it's an abuse of conservatorship and her father loves every second of controlling her and all of her money, her things. How she's forced to do everything. She has no freedom. Uh, she has been threatened to lose her kids, access to her own money, all while she pays everyone's salaries and pays for everyone to live as lavishly as they would like to. She said she didn't say anything earlier because she thought no one would believe her, but she's done. She wants her voice to be heard, she wants to tell her story, but this is it. She wasn't even told she could petition to have the conservatorship ended and she didn't know she could pick her own lawyer. So she just had whatever lawyer she got from the jump. She never picked him. Jamie Spears tells Page Six that the Free Britney Movement is a joke and these conspiracy theorists have no idea what they're talking about. Sure. About three weeks later, she finally gets a new lawyer. She chooses a high power celebrity attorney. His name is Matthew Rosengard. He is lovely. Oh, good. Lovely. Lovely man. He has worked on a lot of high profile cases. He's completely appalled when he looks at Britney's case. And he immediately files to remove Jamie as conservator. There's a lot of back and forth here. Eventually, Jamie decides to step down, but he's like for two million dollars. Oh my god. I don't have the strength. And he, right, wait for this. He says that if the public only knew about her addiction and mental health issues, they would be praising Jamie for how well he's done. Is that what you would call it, Jamie? Matthew tells him to kick rocks and says that she will not be bullied or extorted anymore by no one. Matthew is our new king. We love Matthew. They suspend Jamie, then they file the end of the conservatorship altogether, and finally, in November of 2021, Brittany gets a call that she is a free woman. Let's go, Brittany! Brittany thanked Matthew and... She just couldn't believe she was free at last, and she just thanked him for all his hard work. And he told her that if anyone deserves the credit, it's her. After everything she suffered from, she stood up for herself, she testified in court, and she spoke out. And in doing so, she helped other victims do the same thing. And after so many years of her father always taking credit for everything that she does, she was overwhelmed to finally get the credit she deserved. So, since then, uh, Brittany has tried to take her life back. She did bring her sons to Hawaii. She released her single with Elton John, where they collaborated on Hold Me Closer. She's working on being more compassionate to her sister, and trying to let go of her rage that she has against her family. Jamie Lynn released her own memoir in 2022. I will never buy it or listen to it, but she claims that she did not know how bad things were when the conservatorship started because she was a teenager having a baby. She was a baby having a baby, and she didn't understand. Brittany tries to be thankful for the little things and be present. She is slowly getting her confidence back and that is her Instagram presence. She Presents. Not presents, like the thing you get on Christmas. Presents. Trying on clothes and posing for fans and twirling around. That's what makes her happy. So just let her live her fucking life! Let her fucking do it, gang. I know that a lot of us have seen her Instagram and thought, like, what the fuck is going on here, but now that I know what I know, I'm just gonna look at it a completely different light. Oh, yeah. The bitch is free. If she, the worst thing she does is fucking twirl around in a crop top. Let her do it. Yeah. Let her. Let her do whatever wants to put her Poussoir on the internet, I'm here for that, too. Pop off with your, with your Poussoir, honestly. Now that you have finally control over your own goddamn body. Uh, her memoir ends talking about her relationship with her husband. It's kind of hard to listen to because she's like I love him so much. We're just so happy and it's like Well, they got divorced this year. So it was written before the divorce What I will say about him his name is it depends on where you look I think he goes by Sam In the public eye because it's, his real name is Hassam, but she calls him Hassam, so I'm just going to call him that too. He's 29. He's a model, actor, fitness trainer. They met on set shooting a music video in 2016 for Sleepover. Completely smit with him instantly, couldn't take their hands off of each other, obsessed. They get engaged in 21, 21. Right before her conservatorship ended, so September. In April of 2022, they announced on Instagram that Brittany is pregnant. She had always wanted more kids, like I said. They had finally gotten the IUD out, obviously. And she was so excited to be expecting. However, they lost the baby a month later. Which is just... Has she not been through the fucking ringer enough? My good lord. Can we give Miss Carl a break? But they get married in June of 2022, it's a small ceremony, it is star studded, Paris is there, Madonna is there, Drew Barrymore, I mean, you name it, they're there. Whole squad. After months of speculation, Britney and Hassam are confirmed to have split up. Hassam filed for divorce in August, a couple months ago. I've heard some nasty things of him saying threatening of I'll spill the tea if you don't give me X amount of money for extortion purposes. She won't. She won't do it. Some people say that's a lie though. And then he recently commented on her memoir and said he was so proud of her and he hopes she takes over the world. So I don't, I don't know where that's at. Her relationship with her kids is not great. They didn't go to her wedding. They have been very vocal about How after the conservatorship and her posting nudes and they just, it sounds very rocky and it sounds like they're trying to improve their relationship with her. And that is the story of Britney Jean Spears. Woof. How? The fuck about that. Yeah, it definitely brings her to new light, for sure. Every. Single. Person. In her life used and abused her. Not one of them had good intentions or treated her with kindness or respect. She was a vessel to make money while she suffered. Period. They did not care about who they were annihilating her from. They did not, they broke her down her self-worth her confidence, her autonomy. I hope Karma hits every single fucking one of them like a sledgehammer. And this is of course, all from Brittany's point of view.'cause I used a majority. I used her book as my guide here. But like I said, the begi at the top of this episode, regardless of what you think her mental state is, there is simply no fucking way you can listen to that and think that that was fair. Period. Agreed. Thirteen years. Thirteen years of being stripped of every decision. I just, I can't even imagine. Imagine if she didn't say no though. I feel like by now her brain would have just been mashed potatoes. Oh yeah! Oh a hundred percent. Full veg. All she wanted Was to be loved and cared for with affection and yeah, maybe she needs therapy and maybe some medication I don't fucking know, but she doesn't deserve to be treated Don't we all? But like she doesn't deserve to be treated like a criminal or a piece of shit and she's no angel either. She does talk about she was on Adderall for a bit, she did reckless and stupid shit when she was in her 20s. I'm not justifying that, I'm just saying the punishment does not fit the crime. Very well put. And now I've become the leave Brittany alone kid, specifically. So, let her live. Oh, and people. Who watch her Instagram and call the cops. Stop. People do that? People Someone called the cops on her to make sure she was okay. Because one of her Instagram videos. Leave her the fuck alone. She's living life. She deserves peace and for everyone to leave her the hell alone. At one point, there's I didn't talk about this. They wouldn't even let her get her nails done. And they said it was COVID and she couldn't do it. And then every week when the maids would come or like the cleaning ladies would come, their nails would be done and she would be like, Where did you go to get that done? Because they wouldn't even let her do that. There's a really scary video. She's walking into a restaurant, she's with someone, there are so many paparazzi in her face that she keeps saying to them, I'm scared, I'm scared, please stop, I'm scared. And when she gets into the restaurant, the restaurant lets the paparazzi in, and they sit around the table and just put the scope into her eyeballs to the point where she eventually just puts her head down, face down on the table. Just so she can... Have a moment of peace. That is crazy. Let's have some empathy, people. I just don't get it. I don't get incentivizing terrible behavior at someone else's expense. I will never understand it. And Jamie Spears belongs in fucking jail. And that's how I feel on that. She loves music, she loves dancing, and she loves singing. So... Just let her. Let her just... twirl around in her little baby crop tops and lip sync and we must love her for it, okay? She also loves the gaze. She talks about that at the end of her memoir too. It's like, same Britney, same. We are kindred spirits. Anyway, we love Britney. Justice for Britney. Should we play a game? Sure! Girl math, obviously. Of course I have. Guy math, girl math, gay math, all of the maths. Yeah. I have fat math. Oh! Okay? Am I gonna hate this? No, no. Is it self deprecating? No. Okay. No, it's just fat girl math, okay? So, fat math, that makes sense. Sure. If you're walking to pick up food, you order it, okay? Yeah. You're not door dashing it, you know, you're getting up, you're walking to your car, you're going in the store picking it up and driving home, it's healthy. Regardless of what it is. Yeah, you're not a piece of shit, it's healthy. Got it. Got it. If you're not door dashing it, you're walking to get it, hell yeah that's healthy. Okay. Even if it's ten steps. Okay. No matter what it is. If you put a jacket on over whatever you're wearing, you're skinny. You're just, you're a slim queen. Okay. If you turned to the side you would hide behind a grain of rice. Instantly. Sauces simply don't count. No, no, no, no, no. Or spices. No, spices actually don't count. But like, dipping sauces, if you actually really look... Oh, ketchup. Ketchup will fucking get ya. No, any of them, dude. I was looking at, Honey mustard? French dressing today. Randomly. Oh my god, do you know how much I love Thousand Islands? And do you know how absolutely horrible it is for you? Do you know what I looked at randomly when I was working the other day that really had me shook? What? Sour mix. Oh, I don't put sour mix in it. Oh, like if you're making a marg? Yes. Well, I don't like, I don't really use them when I make margs. Well, any of those pre made... But if you go to the store and get a marg, or just like go to a restaurant... How bad? Like two ounces is like 140 calories. Oh my god. Isn't that sickening? That's fucking nuts. So you're probably consuming like 600 calories a marg. That's so mean. Isn't that cruel? So I'm just not going to look anymore, but I just, I caught a glimpse and it really ruined it for me. Oh, nothing more humbling than when you go to the 99's and the entire menu has the calories next to it. And you're like, well I guess I'm not getting potato skins, thanks. No, but you are though. Of course I am. If it's a salad, it's healthy. No matter what the fuck you put on it. If the base is lettuce, douse that shit in ranch. Douse it in Thousand Island. It's healthy. I do love a cob. Really? I love a cob salad. With blue cheese? No, I get it without the blue cheese. Do you get the egg? Yeah, of course. Okay, just check it. Yeah. That just like some reason just surprised me. Oh. Tomatoes? Okay. That I just knew you. I love a cob. I love a greek with no lettuce. Ugh, I could wank off to a greek salad. I love a Caesar We actually had some Caesar right before we walked into this room. Caesar? Yeah, some salads are good. Some. Some. onion rings are healthy because it's a vegetable. Dude, that's not true. In comparison to a fry. They're fucking deep fried. In comparison to a fry. It's healthier than a french fry. So if you're going for the onion ring option, you're healthy. That's a healthier move. Fat math. Okay? Sure. Any way you put it, Chipotle is healthy. Okay. Well, if you, I mean, you do get to pick what goes into it. If it's, it's rice, veggies, and I know, but like the sour cream. Yeah. So when you get like, uh, I'm like, oh, light rice. Like chicken, extra sour cream, queso on the side, like, someone sedate me. But yeah, eat it everyday. It's healthy. I don't know if we should be eating anything everyday. That's fast food. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's not fast food. They make it. Fast. Rapidly. Rapidly. It's rapidly food. Duh. Freshly made. if you don't drink all weekend, so you have like a quote unquote sober weekend, whatever, you can eat whatever you want because you didn't have alcohol at any point. Eat mac and cheese three times a day. You didn't have alcohol, perfect. You lost weight, honestly. Fries and a Caesar salad is the most healthy balanced meal you can have. I love crispy chicken in a Caesar salad with a side of fries. Crispy. Crispy. Crispy. I love it so much. They do say that the, the meal that represents women. Is Caesar salad with French fries and a Diet Coke. Yes. A Diet Coke with lemon. I would not get that, but I agree with the first half. If it came from Trader Joe's, it's healthy. Organic? Duh. I'm like, I get the mac and cheese that literally is frozen. It's not healthy, but sure. beverages just don't count. Even though I never brought up the sour mix thing, but if I have a Diet Coke, I would never think about it and be like, Oh, what's in this? Or if I was like a juice person or like a different type of soda person? I was gonna say I don't I I mean I have I have a soda every once in a while, but not enough. But people who like, like juice and stuff, like... Yeah. Or if you like to drink a Sprite, like the sugary, you know? Like, people look at that stuff. I would never even look at it if I was drinking it. I just don't like it, so... Fair enough. It doesn't make a difference, but... and Diet Coke just doesn't have chemicals, and it's simply healthy, because it's zero sugar. I have no notes. No notes! That's all I have for you. No notes. And I hope you learned something there. Well, I used to do the... If you eat healthy during the week, you can have whatever the fuck you want on the weekends. Ugh, I don't know. It's all about balance. I'm tipping the scales. Colleen. Sorry. Self deprecating. Okay, you ready for two positive stories of the week? Yeah, I think we need them. For sure. Okay, the first one, I just love this so much. It's a little long. It's from Tang's Good News. It says this. I served a table of two 7 year olds on a date. I've been in the industry for 10 years, and this was by far my favorite table I've had. I work in an upscale restaurant. night, the hostess came up to inform me they were about to double seat me because one of the tables was parents and the other were kids on a date. They wanted to be at a different table so their parents wouldn't embarrass them, but the parents wanted to be nearby to supervise it and easily cover the check. So they double sat me. I went to the parents table first to make sure we were all on the same page, and they told me that the kids could get whatever they want, and then I turned to go to the kids table, and tonight is homecoming in town, so I assumed it was gonna be high schoolers, but when I walked up, these two seven year old kids were just sitting at a high top. They had kids menus, and they were just giggling away, their feet dangling like crazy. I asked if I could get them something to drink. The little boy was like, After her! Stop. I asked if I could get any appetizers started for them and the boy ordered mussels, like wine broth, shallots, pea, like mussels, and a side of toast for the broth. They ate every single piece. When I asked them how it was, the girl told me she had never had mussels before in her whole life and he convinced her to try them and she loved them and he was beaming. I went to the parents table and told them their kids are incredibly mature and so cute. And they told me the two are the same age, they have always lived on the same street, so they've grown up together and they've always had this little crush on each other. They both got chicken tenders and fries for their dinners. They ordered our dessert special to share, a seasonal creme brulee to finish off the evening. They captured everyone's hearts. so much that with parental approval, of course, my manager gave them glasses, half glasses of a zero proof champagne to toast with, with little strawberries on the glass. They joked with the food runner, they complimented my service, they ate every bit of everything and drank every bit of the sparkling grape juice. They conversed the whole time and giggled. I got talking with one of the moms as they were cashing out. How would you think having a crush on each other would make them shy, but the conversation was literally nonstop. It was the cutest thing. Edit. To add that I had another couple sitting in a high top next to them in their fifties. They finished their meals as the kids got their muscles delivered. Then they. Oh, they reopened their tab because they were like, is this okay? We solely want to keep listening to these kids. Like this is the cutest thing. And they ended up getting another appetizer, dessert and coffees. Is that the cutest thing you've ever heard? It's so wholesome. I know. Where are those men today? Seven? Can we get a where are they now segment? this second one is from good news underscore movement. First patient with advanced Parkinson's to receive spinal implant is able to walk again. Oh, that's nice. With ease! Quote, I've been reborn! Oh! How's that for a five star review? With the Sins? The Parkinson's? Yeah, with the Parkinson's! so, he got a spinal implant, he is 63 years old, he's a Frenchman, his name is Mark, and he was diagnosed with Parkinson's more than two decades ago, and he's always struggled with his mobility. He said, quote, I practically could not walk anymore without falling frequently several times a day in some situations such as entering a lift, aka, elevator. I'd trample on the spot as though I was frozen there, you might say. Right now, I'm not even afraid of the stairs anymore. Every Sunday, I go to the lake and I walk around 6 kilometers, which is 3. 7 miles. Oh shit. It's incredible. It's good for him. Imagine being like, you probably will never walk the same ever again. And at 63, you're walking nearly four miles around Lake. Oh, so cool. Sweet man. Sweet, sweet man. but that's the episode of the week, everybody. I hope you're all doing well. I hope that Britney Spears related because she deserves the support. Listen to her. And fuck Jamie Spears. Fuck him. All right. Love you. Mean it. Love you. Mean it. Bye.
Bridget:This podcast was produced by me. Bridget, Shannon. Music is written and performed by Matt You can find his band super Stoker anywhere you listen to music.