On this week's episode, Bridget's preparing for her next adventure and Colleen has ascended from the flu. Colleen finally watched Sweet Home Alabama and we HAD to talk about the new HBO documentary "Love Has Won: The Cult of Mother God" because it's the most out of pocket thing we've ever seen. Then we get into the topic of the week... SMALL TOWN GOSSIP. When you're family tree looks like a wreath... it's time to reassess. From Canadian cheese smugglers, to Brokeback mountain hunting trips to polyamorous and swinging couples, this episode has ALL the tea! We end with a game of "rules for my kidnapper" and some positive stories of the week. Remember, if there's no ring, there's no kidney!!! #NoVennDiagrams
Sources:
Review and subscribe! You can find us on Instagram @Sippinwiththeshannons or send us your stories at Sippinwiththeshannons@gmail.com. Love you, mean it.
On this week's episode, Bridget's preparing for her next adventure and Colleen has ascended from the flu. Colleen finally watched Sweet Home Alabama and we HAD to talk about the new HBO documentary "Love Has Won: The Cult of Mother God" because it's the most out of pocket thing we've ever seen. Then we get into the topic of the week... SMALL TOWN GOSSIP. When you're family tree looks like a wreath... it's time to reassess. From Canadian cheese smugglers, to Brokeback mountain hunting trips to polyamorous and swinging couples, this episode has ALL the tea! We end with a game of "rules for my kidnapper" and some positive stories of the week. Remember, if there's no ring, there's no kidney!!! #NoVennDiagrams
Sources:
Review and subscribe! You can find us on Instagram @Sippinwiththeshannons or send us your stories at Sippinwiththeshannons@gmail.com. Love you, mean it.
it's time! That wasn't bad. I mean, it wasn't good because I'm ill, but it wasn't bad. It's Mariah Carey. It's a tick tock. Is it? Yeah. Do do do do do do do When I walk by every night Talking sweet and looking fine I get kind of hectic Is it hectic? I'm surprised you know Mariah Carey songs. I only know that one. Sweet, sweet, fantasy baby. The same baby. She was just in Boston. I know Karen and our aunt went. Yeah, and they said it was fantastic. I feel like Because it wasn't just Christmas, they played like a bunch of stuff. I would hope if I was paying that much money to see Mariah Carey, I would hope that she'd be playing everything and not just I know, she just comes out and sings one Christmas song and leaves. I'd be pissed. No, imagine she sings, All I Want For Christmas Is You for three hours straight. Oh my God. That is like cause for being put in a mental institution by the time you leave. That's torture for sure. I'm just thinking of like, when it's over and you're like, Yay, it's over! And you hear the twinkle noise at the beginning again, And you're like, Wait, we just And she's like, I don't And you're like, What? I picture her being like, This is what you paid for! Can't you? Or no? Are you not entertained? I heard Miranda Lambert did that recently and was like get off your phone why are you not watching me? Or something like that. Oh! Honestly, valid. No. No. If I'm at your concert and I pay to be in like the, the, the, First row or whatever. Then, you're welcome. To your bank account. Why do you care if I'm looking at you or not? Well I think for me, that drives me nuts when, you know, someone's watching Beyonce and people have their phones like in her face. You're in the front row. Put your phone down. Put your phone down. Why are you watching a concert through a camera? Just watch it. I would agree with that, but maybe like you can't do it for like one song and have the mems, like, I don't want to remember that it was that close. No, I would say like a chorus. I would say don't record and sing in the background, because that shit ain't me. Oh my god, listening to your voice the next day, after you think you get this amazing recording, you can't hear the artist and you sound like an animal dying in the back. That's how I feel every time we record. Colleen! Stop. That's why I don't listen. Oh Lord. Speaking of which, hi everyone. I just pulled something out of my tooth. Cool. That's all. Continue. Hi everyone. Welcome to this week's episode of Sippin with the Shannons. We're cousins and each week we sit down, we sip on some wine, we talk some shit, and we have a good giggle. I'm Bridget Shannon. And I'm Colleen Shannon and you're still on the Potato Diaries. Yeah, we had so many, uh Potato skins. Potato skins, couch potato. All the potatoes. What kind of wings do we have? Nut wings. Gold fever wings. If you know, you know. We ate the 99's tonight. We were like, we're gonna feast. This is our last recording night together in the same home for like two months, almost. That's, I can't Is that wild? I like, my theory is I don't think you're doing something really until I see it on your calendar and seeing it on your calendar I was like, oh fuck. She's really leaving Like you tell me things all the time. Like, oh, I'm going to this country. Like, okay, whatever like yeah you are But then when it's on the calendar, yeah, yeah, you know, that's when you know, it's real I don't know what I'll miss more this living room or you in it. Oh, that's quite nice I love this living room. It's so cozy. This is my home. I live here now, while you're away. Can I have a spare key just to lay here? Um, we can, we'll look into that. Or is that a boundary thing that we have to work on? Um,, no, I actually don't hate the thought of someone like coming in here and just like bringing in my mail and sitting on my couch. You know what, I bet you like wouldn't have a dead animal if I stopped by. Oh my god, please no dead animals. I can't come home to another dead animal. I'll, I will lose, I'll be the dead animal. You're the dead animal? But I'm going to Buenos Aires, which I don't think I told our listeners no yeah, so I'll be in Mexico for New Year's Eve and then I'm heading over to Buenos Aires, Argentina. I've never been before. I've heard wonderful things. Booked my Airbnb the other day and gotta go enjoy the sun. It's their June. So it'd be nice and warm and toasty and I made sure I got like a teeny tiny studio apartment But it does have a pool so like your own pool not my own But I'll be in a complex where there is a pool gorgeous so and people have jobs So I'm hoping during the day I get it all to myself I love this for you. Yeah, so we'll see. I mean, I'm just gonna go apply for jobs, not be miserable in Boston because I hate the months from January to May here. yeah, and go, go live, go live some life. When are you coming home again? I believe February, first, second week of February. Cool. So we're gonna be doing the podcast for the very first time abroad. Cause normally we pre record everything and then I edit and then I go and then we just like don't do it for a month. Now, we're gonna be doing it while I'm there. Which should be an interesting endeavor for us. You look scared. I am scared. I was just, you know, you can't envision something, so it just like is the unknown and it's scary. Like, I can't picture it in my brain, so therefore I can't imagine being on a Zoom with you while we podcast. Like, we don't really even FaceTime. Like, that's kind of creepy. We FaceTime. That's not true. We literally FaceTimed the other day. We did? Yeah, I was in a sketchy parking lot. Oh, right. We I called to tell you. I was, I was on my deathbed. I literally don't even, my, it's Yeah, you've been really sick. How are you? You don't sound better, honestly. I feel better. I was, gang, I Perished. Absolutely perished. I've had COVID three times and it was not even comparable to any of those times. And I, I don't know what happened to me. I think I had the flu, but I had a flu shot, so I don't really understand. All I know is I couldn't open my fucking eyeballs or move my body and I sounded like Bad. Yeah. I don't even know how to describe it in words. But just know, I'm here. Fiona took care of me. She literally carried me to my bed. Yeah. She helped you lay one time. Oh yeah. She came home and all the lights were off and the TV was off and like there was no light at all. And she's like, hello? And I was crumpled in a ball on the couch and I was like, I can't make it. She carried me. Oh, you poor thing. I was full hospice, but it's fine. I'm fine now. But we did FaceTime on Thursday when I, tried to go to work. And did you go to a doctor? No. Great. I didn't have the energy. I did tell my worker I went to the doctor, but I didn't. Cool. I mean, to be clear, I did take a COVID test to make sure, because I wouldn't want to do that to other people. But, that was the, that was the max I was going to do. Great. Cool. And I'm unfortunately still alive, so. Stop. We proceed. Stay vigilant. Head on a swivel. We carry onward. Onward bound. She was literally sent home from work multiple days in a row because that's how violently ill she was. Yeah. They were like, I don't want to look at your face anymore. Go away. And I was like, I'm sorry. I just have to try. I was at, it got to the point where I was annoyed. Like I'd be like, can we just, can we just. No, you're annoying. Don't go to a workplace that sick ever again. There's only three people and I just stayed away. It doesn't matter. Whatever. Also, like, that's not gonna help you get better. You need to, like, rest, relax, drink fluids, that kind of stuff. Not like force yourself to commute into Boston and get all, your whole office sick. You lunatic. You know, I just can't be at peace. It's hard for me. Erin sent us a tweet earlier that was like, for the reasons of my own doing, I'm spiraling, and that is you, right now. It said, due to unforeseen circumstances, while within my control, I will be spiraling. That is in fact correct. Because every time I complain about something, it's like, well, whose fault was that? Who said yes to that thing that you knew that you didn't want to do? It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me. Self awareness is key. Yeah, that's fine. That makes everything better. Did you get to watch anything good while you were laid up? So, yeah, that was on my list of things to talk about today. Love has won. Mother of God. Oh, that's there, but I do want to, no, I have to tell you something. I did not. Oh, okay. No, you're going to be really happy. Oh, okay. I watched something that you would have wanted me to watch. What? Sweet Home Alabama. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. What did you think? Well, my problem was, is, I was sitting on the couch and Erin said, I feel like Bridget's going to be really happy that you're watching this. and I had said, I can't tell if she thinks that I've watched it, because we all, I always laugh at the baby in a bar joke. So I'm like, fuck, does she think that I've watched it? And I've just been pretending this whole time. No, I know you haven't seen it. Okay, cool, because I know we make that reference all the time, and I'm like, does she know? You have a baby! So I didn't text you. In a bar! Yeah, so I didn't text you, and then I was like, I'll just tell her on the bot, it's fine. yes. I, we, I need to move. I just They're built different. It's so annoying. Who do you think is more attractive? I loved Patrick Dempsey just for the fact that he Was so I would have set that woman on fire if she did that to me Like and he was just like you're right and kissed her on the hand and said goodbye Yeah and like God bless and I almost like love him more for that but also like you can't go wrong with the OJ like and I all I want in this fucking life is a man that like just fights with me like that Like, uh, I tell I want why well, it's not love like it's just like I love that that bickering. Yes Yeah, like I just oh I love it. She was raised on the Sopranos, guys. And he, and he like drags her out of the, not like aggressively, you know what I mean? Yeah. He like drags her out of the bar and like puts her in the car for safety and he's like, Shut up! And I'm like, ugh, I just. True love. Arguing. It's all I want. So that's how you know. But, yeah, I liked it. Very cute. So I can kiss you anytime I want. Mm hmm. And then they go to the bar and they're in the rain. Oh, it's so good. Mm hmm. Melanie Smooter! Bobby Ray, I love him. Oh, Bobby Ray is amazing. I love him. Is it the grandfather? They're shooting the cannons in the yard. Yeah, and he's just like, haha. Yeah, he's like giggling over the corner. Yes. And he's like, they're here to interview for for Melanie's whatever, wedding or something like that. And he goes, no idea who that is! Hahaha. Oh, I'm glad you watched it. You will not talk to my mama like that. You'll be Uh, disappointed in me, but the other night I was at my friend Sarah's, who's a big fan of the pod. She's a saint. Oh, she's the one who made us our stickers. I need my, I meant, that's another pod I had. I need my sticker. Okay, I'll give it to you. It's right over there. Okay, cool. But we were just like having a night in, you know, ordering food, watching Christmas movies, drinking wine kind of stuff. And we were watching, oh, we decided to watch a really bad Hallmark movie. And like, give me the corniest, like veteran Christmas, Something like that, and the girl in it is Anastasia Steele's sister in Fifty Shades of Grey. Or her friend, her roommate, I think it's her roommate. And she hooks up with the brother, or something like that. So she's the main actress in it, but there's a guy in it, and I was like, I've never seen him before, and she goes, Oh my god, I have, I know where he's from. He's in Sleepover. And I was like, Oh, I wouldn't, I wouldn't know. I've never seen it. Mm hmm. It's a cultural reset. This is what I think. With Sleepover. If I can find it, if it's on Netflix, I'm not opposed to watching it. I'm just not going to pay money to watch Sleepover. I don't think you'll have to pay money. I think it's everywhere. Not everywhere, but you'll find it. I'll find it. No, you'll find it. It's Young Evan Peters is in it. Baby Evan Peters. Yeah. Oh, lovely. We have to talk about Love Has Won. It is the most out of pocket shit I've watched on HBO in a very long time. If you have not watched it, stop everything you're doing, turn off this fucking podcast and go watch it right now. It is out of control. So I said to Fiona, I was like, I heard something about that, that it's kind of crazy, like we should just watch it, like we're hungover. Audibly gasping, like you would think, you're like, okay, that's like fucked up, like I don't understand. That's just crazy and then it gets like the third episode and you're like the third episode. Oh is Horrific, it's like trigger warning when they dress. Can we can we spoil alert and talk about it? Yeah If you haven't seen it skip ahead about is I can't not talk about it when they wrap her dead body up like a fucking T and put her in that car when they get pulled over when they're showering her and she's literally fucking blue Imagine being the cop that pulls them over and like after it finds out after the fact that that woman was dead. Oh my God. How about the fucking hotel? They were like, I know there's someone, a woman dying in there and they're like, no, she's ascending. She is ascending. So the other day when Colleen was really sick, we had both watched the doc and she was like, I am mother of God. I am ascending. That is, I'm sick. I am. The third episode specifically, my whole thing with Colts. And I will die on this hill is that it can happen to anyone. Correct. I truly believe that in a certain time in your life, in a, when your brain is a certain, going through something, whatever it might be, we could all fall victim to it. Right? Like, you know, when they were talking about it at the beginning, I'm like, I get it. Like, at first. At first. I was gonna say, At first. At first, fine. But when Robin Williams is speaking to her, get the fuck out of here. Also, all the pictures of the people who like speak, Donald Trump was on it. He's alive. He's wholly alive. when we got to like the fourth father god, the final father god. Yeah. He's so scary. When they ever wrote love over meth, I was screaming. When he's sob crying, I He scares me. He looks, at one point he starts laughing and he looks like maniacal and I was like, oh. Yeah, it's giving demonic. Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. I love the note taking. Like, it's mother has sneezed three times in a row, mother has first beer, mother has second beer. Oh, she was trashed. She was un fucking well. I think too what's different about this, one, is it's people who are still fully in it. Like, eyes glazed over. Fucking in it, knee deep, versus a lot of other, like I watched Escaping Twin Flames. Your which was also fucking wild and that guy is the worst whatever his Jeff or whatever his name is Though worse when he starts calling himself Jesus Christ I can't but a lot of that documentary are people on the other side of it being like this is what I did How crazy is this? with Love Has Won, they're so in it, still. And they like, firmly believe that she And none of them have been charged with anything. What do you think would've happened if How about the girl from Bill Ricka? Yeah, I know. Wild. And her mom was like, I'm just like I watch the video and I'm like, I have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. Oh yeah, all their like, code words and shit. No, I, no. When you have to learn a new vocabulary, that's when you, it's, it's not good. You're in too deep. And it's, it's sometimes when they talk, I'm like, it's giving buzzwords. Yeah, for sure. No, for real. For sure. And sorry you're selling fucking silver, question mark? I just can't imagine, I'm not judging, but I, I can't imagine being in a place where I'm like, I have children who I'm going to leave. That left four of her children. Yep, and I'm going to drain my bank account and go live in this commune so we can, like, smoke weed and do mushrooms because it's what God is telling me to do. I did feel really bad when they were on Dr. Phil. I thought that was really unfair. Yeah. The way that was handled. I agree. I would agree with that. I mean, I think they went on hoping he would help and he basically made a television show, which, it's not totally shocking, but I felt for them. Yeah, because they really thought it would be like Last Hope scenario. Yeah, this, they really thought this would like change. It is like so mind moggling to me that they're like, Oh, this woman is drinking herself into an oblivion. Shit faced. Not eating in the slightest, drinking liquid silver. And then being like, oh, she's looking a little rough, yeah, because the weight of humanity is bringing her down. It's all of your fault. Like, yeah, people aren't getting it, and that's why she's dying, because people aren't getting it. But don't worry, the Galactics are coming to take her away with Robin Williams. Well, maybe she should eat something? Question mark? That isn't a magic mushroom! I can't. And also, like, the lack of sleep. I mean, classic cold stuff, right? Holding back food, holding back sleep. It's just all of the What got really crazy for me is when she kind of has a lucid moment and says, what if I made all of this up? Mm. It's like right when she realizes she's gonna die. Yeah. She's like, what if none of this is real? What if I made it up? And they're like, no, no, no, you're just sick. And I'm like, mm. Or are we having an honest moment? Or that first guy that was like, yeah, like yeah, that first father of God. Poor guy. No, not the old guy. The second one. Oh, they were kind of weird. One. Oh yeah, yeah. That was like, yeah, she was, she was sexual. I'm like, okay. So she was a hoe and had many Father Gods whatever, use a hoe. Oh, mother God's a whore. And when they're in Hawaii, oh, it's just, uh, oh God, I forgot. Completely forgot about that part. Yeah. And people like run them out of town because they're being so fucking disrespectful. Yeah. You think you are like. What is the, the god that she claims that she is? Imagine going to someone's whole ass different country, because obviously it's part of America, but Might as well be. They have their own origins and belief system in god. Like, how fucking ignorant are you? Yeah. What horse did you fucking ride in on? They deserved everything they got to them when they were in Hawaii, for sure. Yeah, 100%. And then escaping Twin Flames. I haven't watched it. Okay, we'll chat when you finally watch it because it is C R E S I C A It's this couple who tells everyone that they're gonna help find their twin flame. It's like their soulmate. Oh, I saw an ad for it. It's fucking nuts. Okay, noted. Add it to the list. I heard a phrase the other day that I can't stop thinking about. Do tell. Museums are fake. It's this conspiracy theory and I think because I, I can't stop thinking about it because I think it might be true not the actual building, like the building's not fake, but the guy who was talking about it made a really valid point. Like, do you really think you're looking at the Declaration of Independence? You think it's just like out here for little Like, who decided that that was gay? Grubby little children to go and see on their school trip. You don't think that's locked away somewhere? In case? Like, you think that's the real Mona Lisa? You think they would put the actual real one on display? I don't like thinking like this. Isn't that wild? It's kind of upsetting. I can't stop thinking about it. And I think museums are fake. I don't like that. Yeah, well, I'm sorry. It's giving my childhood ruin a little bit. I've seen National Treasure. It's fucking real. Oh, I love National Treasure. Idris Elba said, Men, totally off topic, Men fall in love with what they see, and women fall in love with what they hear, and that's why women wear makeup and men lie. Um,, I, yeah. I don't like that one. I'll give you a second to marinate. It's like, I don't like that one either. The truth hurts! Idris. Is that how you say his name fully? Idris Elba. I don't know why I thought I said that. He is so hot. You do think he's really hot? He's so hot. He's handsome. Not my type, but handsome for sure. Handsome man. Handsome. Okay, do you want to explain our topic of the day? The topic of the day is small town gossip. It's our scandalous episode. And I'm very excited. We have some juicy, juicy stories. Did you say? We had some submissions. I'm gonna read off my favorite one. We scoured the internet. And we've got some dirt for you. We've got some good tea. But I will say, what's so rude, is that we Know people who have had scandalous things happen to them and we're not allowed to tell their secrets and honestly, it's rude It's honestly annoying. It's the first time in my life. I've probably kept my mouth shut and I'm annoyed about it. Truly Truly upset. I know don't tell us things then. Yeah, like I couldn't even ask my friends to be like, hey guys Can you think of anything cuz it's like can't share it anyways Yeah. So fucking annoying. So annoying. My favorite topic too. I know you do love a small town gossip situation. And you have some good ones. Oh, I have. I know you do. Especially in your town. I have A plus small town gossip ones and I can say nothing, but we, we still get some good stuff. It's fine. It's fine. Before we get into our stories, I had a few, uh, scandalous questions to ask you. Okay. Hit me with it. Pineapple on pizza, yes or no? Oh, uh, no. I like pineapple, but Absolutely not. It's an absolute no for me. I think you should be arrested if you put pineapple on pizza. I don't think you should be arrested. I feel like it's a unique palate thing. I just don't care for it. Well, it's also it must be people who like sweet and salty. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. But at the same time, Who wants warm fruit on pizza? It's disgusting. I mean, yeah, people like fruit in their salads, too. That makes more sense to me, though, because it's cold. Like, salad is usually cold. Okay, that's fair. I'll give you that. I mean, yeah. Yes. Okay. Yeah, I'm just, I'm just not here for it. Are you a nighttime shower or a morning shower? Uh, both. Fair enough. When people are like, Oh my god, that's so gross, you don't shower before you leave the house in the morning. And it's like, I'm sorry, you work all day long, you're out in the elements. Maybe sitting in a desk chair, or taking public transit, and then you come home and you don't wash that off. You have the outside world. I just, my bed is my sacred place. I would wash it before I got in it. I'll wash it when I get out. I don't care. On a night time, if I had to choose. Someone said to me once, like, I think I had said, like, oh I showered last night. And they were like, you, you sweat at night. And I was like, unless I wake up and I know that I'm like, Oh, I've definitely was fucking sweating last night. One, I'd wash my fucking sheets and I'd wash my fucking ass. So, you know what? No, I don't sweat every single night of my life. Like, I'm not. I guess that's not true, though. I guess we all have. Not, you're not outwardly sweating like. No, I know, but if I'm, I mean, if I have a little sweat overnight. I think your body releases things even without you realizing it. Oh, yeah for sure, but not like you're moving around in the daytime. No. Everyone relax. Speaking of showers, do you face the showerhead or is your back to it? Both. I have rotisserie chicken rotate. Yes, me too. I rotate around, but when I get in. There are people that I get in it's to my back and then I Move around. There are people who are hardcore one or the other. That's so weird to me. That's so strange. Well, if you put your head under it, it's gonna get your whole body wet at some point. I know, but I feel like sometimes you just gotta put your face on it and wash your face properly. Yeah. I don't know, these are just such weird things to think about. Does the toilet paper go over or under? Doesn't matter. Yes, it does. Oh. This is a hill I'll die on. Why? It goes over. Under is insane. People who put it under are not okay and they need to be checked in on. Oh, okay. And that, is that. I just. And that's final. No, it's not something I'm going to lose sleep over, you know? Okay, that's fair. Is a hot dog a sandwich? I'm a wipe, I'm a wipe. What? Is a hot dog a sandwich? No. Hot dog's its own category. A hundred percent agree with you. Do you cut your sandwich diagonally or down the middle? depends. On what? The type of bread. Okay. I would say, What? If I was to make like, obviously like sourdough bread, I'd just cut it in half. No, no, no. Like you are making a PB& J on regular, you don't like PB& J? I don't like peanut butter. You don't like peanut butter? Where have you been? No, I hate peanut butter. Ew! And I also don't really care for jelly. Ew, Colleen! Get a grip! I've never heard you say you like peanut butter and jelly. I love peanut butter! Oh. I love PB& Js. I'm obsessed with Uncrustables. Since when? I told you this story one time, I was at a football game. Oh yeah, you did tell me this. And I whipped out an uncrustable out of my jacket, my friend John was like, where did that come from? Yeah, so I, love a PB& J. Okay, I've never seen it in your cabinet or fridge. Well, I mean, they're not, it's usually what I would eat in college when I was like, hungry and didn't feel like, you know. It's like a broke girl meal. Maybe I should go buy some. But you know what it is? I actually, I get a lot when I travel because no matter where you go, everyone has peanut butter and jelly and bread. It's quick, it's easy, it's cheap, and you can't really go wrong. Okay, that's fair. Love a PB& J. Were you a peanut butter fluff person ever? No, not a fluff girl. Okay, just curious. Okay. Wow, I can't believe you don't like peanut butter. No, Tommy and my brother can eat it. He has a jar next to his bed. Of peanut butter? Yeah, usually. Oh my god, that's hilarious. She eats it with a spoon. Or at least he used to. I don't know. I mean, I haven't been in his bedroom in years. But, you know, he's a whole ass grown man. I was gonna say, he's a grown man with grown children, so. I would hope. Yeah, no, he loves, obsessed with peanut butter and milk. Not a milk girl. No. Mm mm mm mm mm. Shickening. So the other day, Erin calls me out of the blue and is like, wait, one more thing. But like before you guys start recording, she didn't know you were sick. And she was like the best small town gossip of all time. It's the thing that took over the whole nation. Like, everyone heard about it, this was pre internet, when we couldn't message each other about it. That Marilyn Manson got her rib removed to suck his own dick. Oh, I did hear about that. Marilyn Manson's fucked up. Everyone thought, that's obviously not true, I looked it up. But, I was like, that was so wild how everyone across the country, maybe even the world, Thought that Marilyn Manson had a rib removed so he could fillet ish himself. Whoever started that rumor, you're an icon. A legend! Like, uh, something of lore, if you will. Like, you should get, like, paid for that. A medal. You should get paid for good gossip, or like, good rumors that spread. Oh. What a way to make a fucking living. You would be so rich. I know I have accidentally started rumors. Accidentally. I think I realized doing this and after doing some hometown reflections On what our gossip was a lot of it like a lot of it was people Professional adults, infidelity, screwing around with like 18 year olds. Oh, ew. That's, that's getting part of that. Yes. Like a few different instances of that. we also had a bunch of girls get pregnant as teenagers, which was wild. We actually had a lot of death, like awful. Like I had been to multiple funerals by the time I was in high school. It was really, really crazy. But a lighter one that I'll tell you is Captain Pizza. Captain Pizza was the best pizza in town. If you know, you fucking know. And if you played Pub Warner, if you were a cheerleader or football player, you would know that every Friday night after practice, they will order a boatload of Captain Pizza. And it was popping off on Friday nights because it was also the summer. Everyone was outside practicing. It was like a social event. It's I think it's the reason why I love Fridays. When I think of pizza, I think of Like in your town, pizza days. Oh yeah, this is way before pizza days. Oh wow, okay. And so, if I called Erin right now And said, Captain Pizza. She'd go, Oh, the meth lab? Everyone, everyone knew that Pizzaday, Pizzadays? Pizzadays. That Captain Pizza was shut down because of a meth lab. And it was lore that there was a number on the menu that if you ordered it, you were actually ordering meth and it like didn't exist. It like wasn't an actual meal. In that, it, there was like a meth lab in the basement of the place and I always joked that's probably why I liked the pizza so much because it had meth in it. Oh! So, the other day, I'm talking like two days ago, I've gone my whole life with this story. Okay. I'm like, I wonder what happened, like I, I wonder if I can find a police report. Is it still open? Of them like taking it down. No, they, they tried to put other places in it, it became a different pizza place but it's turned over and now they, I think they like either knocked it, it was knocked my toe, sorry. I think they either knocked it down and made it an apartment or it's something else is in it now. I Google it. it had nothing to do with meth. Captain Pizza was seized by the government because they weren't paying their taxes. And the owner was arrested. I have been bamboozled. I have been led astray. I have grown up thinking that place was a meth lab. He just didn't pay his taxes. Uncle Sam came for his ass. I mean. If you are from Burlington and you know something otherwise, please let me know. But according to like, the town newspaper in 2008 or 2009, that's what it said. Justice for Captain Pizza. Justice for Captain. Also, pay your goddamn taxes. Hey. Pay your goddamn taxes. Hey! Too soon? Always too soon. Okay, well why don't you give me one? What do you got? I do have one. It is A story I found online. Because I, like I said, don't have any I do have some to share, but I cannot share them. and I really try to go in that small noggin of mine and think of ones that I'm like, Oh, I could get away with that. You couldn't think of any. so let's pretend like this is from a third cousin of mine. Okay. Sure. Uh, as a hairstylist, I hear a lot of wild gossip, which for the record, I wish. I was a hairdresser. One, because I just like love doing hair, and two, I would love to hear about people's stories all day, every day. Yeah. Would just live for it. Yeah. I had that epiphany saying, I was like, fuck me, but whatever. It's not too late. I mean I'm kinda old. No, you're not. You can do whatever the fuck you want at any age. That's fair. I guess. anyways, so, this lady's a hair, hair stylist. She hears a lot of wild gossip. Sometimes I'll get a client and they'll refer their sibling or parent or some other relative. I just have to pretend I don't know shit when they start telling me gossip about other clients. It's wild. A friend slash client of mine referred her aunt and she was very comfortable telling me a lot about her personal business. The aunt wouldn't stop telling me about how she hates her son in law and vice versa. They despise each other. Her and her daughter are very close and I was thinking maybe she's just overbearing or overprotective of her. She then refers her daughter to me. Oh my god. I don't tell her anything her mom says to me. Daughter tells me that her husband cheated on her before so she's just mentally checked out of their marriage. She knows he lies and he's staying for work when he's actually seeing some other girls. She doesn't care anymore, she just stays for the kids. Which is so sad. Yeah, so sad. Because of this, her mom, the aunt client. hates him and tries to keep the kids away from their dad. She, the aunt client, takes care of the kids when the daughter works because the husband won't show up to pick up the kids just to avoid seeing her. So fast forward a couple weeks later, we cycle back to my friend who originally referred all of them to me. Right, right. She just, she asked me how the appointment went. I said good, I was really vague about it. I just said it seems like they're going through a lot. She then spills the beans. Long story short. The woman that the daughter's husband was having an affair with is her own mother. Stop! The aunt client that was saying all these horrible things. He cut things off with her and she now hates him and makes his life difficult. The daughter doesn't know. Oh. My. The mother's husband knows she had an affair, but doesn't know it's with the son in law. Several people in the family know, but no one is telling them. It is a fucking mess. Oh. My. God. Messy, messy, messy. And this woman's just sitting on this information. Okay, I love going to the hair salon and gabbing. I'll gab away, you know. People going in there and being like, I cheat. The amount of stuff that that woman has learned from three different people who have overshared She's a whole ass art mess at this point also. Also, there's other people in the goddamn salon. I know, so were we all just listening in on this? Yes, oh, one time I was at the hair salon, and I she was blow drying my hair, so I really wasn't listening. I mean, I couldn't really like tell who was like, you know, just hearing myself and her, like I'm so loud. And I was telling some funny story about my mom. And when I was finished, like I said some statement that must have just like my delivery was like just funny Yeah, and I looked to my left and everyone in the room was fucking crying laughing and one of the hairdressers turns around What did you just say? And I was like, oh shit, I didn't even realize this woman was listening to me right now You know, dying laughing and every time one of my friends who also sees that hairdresser Yeah She says something about my mom to my other friends So it's like, I totally get it. Oh my God. That's so funny. Yeah. You're a riot, Colleen. It wasn't even like, I was like, it wasn't about me. It wasn't like telling a joke. I literally was just telling a story about my mom, but I think the way I must have said it, like y'all were like, what? I was like, oh, I'm sorry. Very odd brand. Yeah. I follow this woman on Instagram. Her name's Katie Combs. If you love small town gossip, you have to follow her. She goes by at Life of Katie Ann. She's a Southern woman from Kentucky and she has all the tea. And she usually starts with, as a Southern woman, Oh, you know how I hate to gossip. And then she gossips or she'll go, you know. I hate to tell it, I hate to tell it, and then she tells it. Here are, here's a bunch of hers, but here's the first one. In high school there was a girl named Megan and she started dating a guy named Alex. High school love, you know, young love, obsessed with each other. Alex started smoking the devil's lettuce. Not the devil's lettuce. And got caught and sent to jail. But when he gets out, Megan is still all about it. The fire is still burning and Alex and Megan get pregnant. Good lord. About a month later. After she has the baby, Megan catches Alex cheating with her mother. Alex leaves her for her mom. So Alex and the mom are together now, and he gets the mother pregnant. Oh, good lord. It gets worse. I feel like I'm in a shameless episode right now. Yeah. The mom has the baby, and then Alex leaves the mom, goes back to Megan, And she She takes him back in, and he gets her pregnant. And at the end of this The girl Katie that I follow goes, What the hee haw hell is going on here? So wait, just like, don't hurt your brain for a second. High school sweetheart. Megan's now new sibling is also Do you know what I mean? Oh no. Is also her aunt. No. Yeah. Is the aunt of her kids. And vice versa. Wait, they're cousins? No, they're siblings. They are whole ass siblings. Yeah, Megan and the new baby. The new baby is the aunt to her babies. So her dad is also her uncle. That's so crazy. Oh, that makes me so sick. I wrote, when the tree, when the family tree starts looking like a wreath, you need to reassess. If there's a Venn diagram when it comes to explaining your mother. There shouldn't be more than one connection. Yeah, there really shouldn't. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Uh, here is another one of hers. Sister Margaret makes a two hour trip to visit her brother every weekend. Sister as in nun? Mm hmm. That's actually a good Question if it says sister it has to be I wrote sister Margaret and I listened in Wow Well that makes this crazy that adds another like a layer of crazy Our girl Katie is like I thought she was missing her brother a lot But I was deceived. She was coming down to have a whole ass affair with his best friend and then would make the two hour trip back home to make Sunday morning service with her family and they stream the service on Facebook. And so Katie's like, she's up there, she's on the pulpit, strumming the guitar, no fear of God. Dude, it's, it's always them. And then it all blew up. And then the man she was having the affair with sent all of these pictures and videos to her husband. So it blew up in her face. And Katie goes, legend has it, she's still wearing her blue jeans skirts. I love her. I grew up in a very tiny community. Well, we all knew each other. When I was about maybe 12 or 13, my best friend's aunt got a little tipsy and told us that the local hairdresser, again with the fucking hairdresser, and her husband were swingers. And had approached her and her husband at a bar. Me and my friend giggle about it, but overall it wasn't shocking, not, not a crazy revelation. This past year, my best friend's aunt died. It was awful, it really shook the community, it was a whole thing. We were all sharing stories of her impact on our lives, and I mentioned how she had told me and my best friend that the hairdresser and her husband were swingers, and how funny it was at the time, and that it was like a core memory of mine. Now being an adult, my mom decides to just let me in on the juicy gossip. Apparently, it wasn't just the hairdresser and her husband, but it was everyone on the entire A whole suburb development in our small ass town that was made for the entire purpose of swinging. Teachers, seamstresses, the guy that does all the taxes for everyone. So many absolute pillars of the community had settled specifically and made a swingers suburb. Wow. Whenever anyone moved out of the area, apparently it was an exile of a couple from the swinging group and it was quite the debacle every single time. It was just common knowledge apparently, but I had just reached the age to know about it. What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall when they have to exile someone. Swingers are so interesting to me and what are they doing to get exiled? That's what I mean. Are they crossing a boundary? Like, what fucking boundary could there possibly be? You live in a community of people who just like each other. But maybe it's a sexual boundary that's being crossed. Mmm. Imagine being on that PTA. Just imagine. No, absolutely not. I actually, I'm I know of, a situation like this. So, my favorite submission that we got actually has to do with swinging. And this is a thing that's happening right now in a town in Boston. A mom from a Catholic school Oh, good lord, it always starts there too? Starts in OnlyFans. And there's this, swinger ring in town that her She's a part of. Okay. Apparently the husband doesn't know about the OnlyFans. Somehow her OnlyFans gets leaked and so does the information about who is a swinger. And now everyone's blowing up her spot and it's all anyone wants to talk about is the Catholic mom who swings and has an OnlyFans. So like do you move? In like a very small town. Yikes. Where you can't really get away with that. Big yikes also I feel bad for the kids though like to go to Catholic school and be dropped out by your Mom and be like everyone knows that you gotta switch schools. Yeah, I probably bet you're going public. I'm sorry Sorry, but you're getting a fucking public high school like the rest of us I'm surprised school doesn't do it like I'm I like I feel like if I was younger They were so strict like I feel like they would kick me out of school for my family. Mm hmm Yeah. Wow. They like weren't cool that with things that weren't like for the Bible, you know Listen, if you want to swing swing swing away, I agree. I'm not agreeing with the thoughts of my fucking no I know you're not I'm just saying in general like It's so funny how almost all of these have something to do with having sex with someone you shouldn't Cuz that's the best gossip. That's true. That's true the best gossip. All right, what else you got? The first sentence, okay. I worked at an assisted living dementia unit. Oh. Let us pray. Yeah. Okay. The activity director, who we'll call Barbie, was attracted to someone we'll call Ken, who was a phlebotomist that would come in occasionally. Okay? Okay. Then her boss, Kim, who was also Barbie's cousin, Sure. started realizing that Ken was showing up a lot more often. So one day she went back there and found them both in a patient's room. In the patient's bed. No. Obviously she was fired on the spot. Ken was also fired from his job too. So the kubadmus is gone. The director, activity director Ken and Barbie, outta here. Imagine being able to be an activity director at an assisted living home. Are you fucking kidding me? That's my dream job. I was gonna say, it sounds like you have a lot of, uh, soul searching to do. You, you want other things. Well, yeah, we Maybe we should reassess. Organizing for the elders? Yeah. Like, I can get on the bus with them? I think you would crush that job. I love when they come on the, the bus to the casino. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're so cute. anywho, sorry, everyone's fired, okay? oh yeah, Ken's fired, and, uh, turns out Barbie and Ken are both married. Two other people. That would have been bad enough, but it gets worse. The patient, who, the bed that they, you know, that they were found in, They're the family had installed a camera previously in the room cuz they just want to check on poor little granny And want to watch her sleep and make sure she's okay for peace of mind Kim knew about the camera, but barbie hadn't been told yet The family saw a lot more than sleeping and they were not fucking happy. Were they with the granny? No, I don't think she was, I didn't say if she was in the room. They were just using her room. I just think that's like a whole new level of fucked up. I think they were just using I mean. Oh, they were just in the room trying to Yeah. I mean, she would know she was, planning the activities. So I'm assuming she would do it during the time She waited while, oh, okay. I just wanted to clarify. Wow. Imagine you're like going to check in on Granny and you just see these two people going at it. I'm also like, why do you have to do that in Granny's bed? Leave Granny alone. Granny has seen enough. Enough out of you. I'm loving this trend of the old people with I'm gonna run over by a rainy day. Oh my god, them acting it out. It's the best. I can't talk about it. I would get so upset. I love how you love old people so much. I just, I can't. Okay, I got another one from Katie and then I'll tell you one that will actually send you to the moon. Okay. Jim Bob and his family left to go to church and his wife said, I'm not really feeling well. I'm going to stay home this morning. So Jim Bob and the son go to church. The church is within walking distance. It's really close. And this is also the type of church where the service lasts for multiple hours. Old school southern. Oh. You know. They're like fanning themselves and shit? Yeah. And Jim Bob's son was getting really hungry. And Katie goes, Church is going on for like two and a half hours and Sister Susie has been testifying for ten minutes straight now while this kid's starving to death. So he walks home. He just goes home. He's like, I'm gonna go grab some food. And when he comes home, he sees, he hears something in the guest room. And when he goes in, he sees that his mother is sleeping with his uncle, the brother. His, the dad's brother. Yeah. Okay, I was gonna say not her brother. No, the dad's brother. Sorry. Sorry. This kid took a wrench, went outside, and beat the shit out of the truck. His uncle's truck. So when Jim Bob comes home, all hell has broken loose. And he's like, why are you wrenching away at Uncle's truck? Where's Uncle? What's Uncle doing? Where's my wife? I thought she wasn't feeling well. She's feeling much better now. Clearly. She's gotten the vitamin. The vitamin D. Gollum. Help. My friend's mom went camping with some friends of hers. Okay. This is honestly Already a bad idea. This follows more into like a, crazy story category, but it was like passed on as, as like a gossip story. Sure. Let's do it. And they went on a hike, and when they had come back, they could tell that someone had been rummaging through their shit, like their tents, all that stuff. Nothing was taken, though, so they just kind of were like, whatever. They shook it off, eventually they went home. His mom took the film to be developed, remember those days when you would have to take it to be developed? Yes. So days and days later, and when they got the pictures, they discovered what actually happened. Some guy took all of their toothbrushes. Shove them up his ass and took a picture with their camera the entire the toothbrushes They had used the entire time on the truth What would you do? Die, I would actually perish that It's so fucked up. It's one thing to, I have heard Also, I don't want a toothbrush on my ass, even for giggles. Yeah, that's so fucking gross. They're lucky they didn't get sick. That's so fucking gross. Isn't that so fucked up? That falls in the category for me of like, when you look through your phone and there, if there was like a picture of you sleeping on it, like that type of creepy thing. Yeah, I have heard something like that, where they develop film and there was like a strange man taking pictures of them sleeping. in a tent. I just, yeah, no, I honestly don't know which one's worse. I feel violated by both. I truly feel violated by both. Yeah. Okay. So another girl that I love on TikTok, her name's Taddy. She's British and she tells the best crazy Reddit stories on the planet. She also does a lot of like, am I the asshole while she does her makeup and it's like a mixture of her accent. The way she tells the story, she's just, her makeup being done, it's just all great. We love a good storyteller. Everyone in her stories is named Amy or Steve. That's how she, she doesn't make up any other boy name or girl names. Everyone gets an Amy or a Steve. So, this one set me. My boyfriend Steve of three years had the audacity to cheat on me. Then he said, if I was a mature adult, I'd be, Mature Madele. If I was a mature adult, I'd be able to deal with it. But then went on to say that he hopes we can still be friends. Oh, I love that. Sidebar. We can't still be fucking friends. We're not gonna be friends. Sorry. If you're breaking up with someone, stop saying that line. It's gonna kick me while I'm down. I was gonna say, I've done it too. It's a natural reaction to like make it hurt less. It just makes it hurt more. Yeah. Shut the fuck up. I don't have enough fucking friends. Shut up. Yeah, shut up. He made it quite clear to me that he had lost all feelings for me and now is in love with this new person. So I had to teach him a valuable lesson. What the hell you blessin Bridget? A couple months goes by and this man thought it would be a good idea to send me pictures of him with his new girl with a bunch of laughing emojis. Piece of shit. So I decided to get back out there and download Tinder and as I'm scrolling through I see someone very familiar. Steve's new girlfriend Amy. And I'm not about to tell Steve that his new girlfriend is actively on Tinder. In fact, I take it one step further and I match with her. So we instantly start talking and it's clear that Amy has no idea who I am. It's clear she also doesn't know that I was the one in the relationship with Steve when she started seeing him. We talk more and more. The conversations are getting longer and longer. And then I come up with a plan. I suggest we meet at a bar. While she's actively dating Steve still, by the way. I suggested we meet at the bar to go on a date. So Amy and I met up for a date and it went so well that one date went to many dates before long I was her full blown affair. It gets so much fucking crazier. What Amy didn't know is that I also got in touch with Steve's other ex girlfriend. The girlfriend he had right before me. Is this like another woman's sexual assault? The other woman type of situation? We'll call her Stacey. Okay, Stacey. Stacey and Steve broke up a few months before we started dating because she came out as gay. She's a lesbian. And one day, Amy mentions that she's always wondered what it would like, be like to be in a polyamorous relationship with two girls. And I'm like, well, let me make a few phone calls and I can see what I can do. That's my, that sounds like a nightmare. So I call up Stacey and I'm like, Hey babes, which is so British, Hey babes, do you want to meet a friend of mine? We can have a good time. What are your thoughts? She's like, hell yeah. So the day comes, they all meet, they hit it off. They go back to this girl's house. I'm sweating. And they sit on the bed. And she takes a selfie of the three of them. Then things go down. They hook up. Use your imagination. A few days after this, Amy goes to her and is like, thank you so much for sorting this out for me. It was so much fun. What can I do to repay you? And she's like, I'm kind of sick of being your side piece, honestly. I'd really just like prefer to have you all to myself at this point. And I kid you not, the next day Amy broke up with Steve and kicked him out of her house. So he was single and homeless. He then texts me with all crying emojis saying that he's so sorry that he got dumped and it made him realize that I'm the one he wants to be with and he wants us to get back together. And I was like, Oh, your girlfriend, is this who you mean? And sends him the selfie of his three exes, very clearly about to hook up, sitting on a bed. With each other. She's so smart. He starts blowing up my phone, but I wasn't done. There were three more things I had to do. First of all, I called his mother. She hates cheaters because her husband cheated on her, and she's not speaking to Steve now. Second, I dumped Amy. She's also a cheater, and I don't want to start a relationship with anyone like that. And last thing I did was I called Stacy, and we went on a date, and now we live together and we have a dog. LAUGHS I'm exhausted The fucking long game the long game it all comes to play perfectly damn Get this woman in office This is why women should run government she needs a role of importance She needs to be the CFO of some company. She needs more than what she has now for sure Damn, isn't that fucking crazy? That's something to think about We should all want to be like her. She called, I love the calling the mom. Mmm. Such a bull move. It's the perfect level of pettiness. Yes. Yeah, so she hooked up with all of his exes and now happily lives with one, has a dog, and he is a single homeless person. As he should be. Yeah, he sucks. Cool, Steve sucks. Fuck off Steve. Okay, I live in a Canadian border town. This police officer, nice as hell, that my grandmother clean for, would gift her things and seem to have a lot more money than your average cop. She would get wine, cheese, and other things. The most gifted item, however, was the cheese. Now, at the same time, there was a pizza place down the street from my house. The owners lived a couple doors down, and I was friends with their son, and the parents were pretty cool as far as neighbors go. They had a lot of money for owning a pizza place that was in decline. After a bit, things got serious. I could see undercover police sitting at the end of my street and on my way home from school nearly every single day. They weren't very incognito, but neither were the pizza place owners. Eventually though, things came crashing down. A whole bunch of cops and restaurant owners were taken to jail in the largest cheesed bust the town has ever known. That's right. A cheese bust. Cheese. The price of cheese in Canada is ridiculous, so a few members of the police department decided to use their abilities to smuggle it across the border. Get the fuck out of here. They would go across, buy all the cheap, good quality cheese they could get, and then use their badge to get back across, as border patrol and cops all knew each other, so the chance of them paying duty was 0%. Anyways, that was the big scandal in town. You can probably look it up if you search for cheese smugglers or a cheese scandal. That is so wild. Right? That's the most Canadian thing ever though. It's not like anything harmful. The cheese smugglers? Are you shitting me? I know, why are Canadians so unproblematic? But yet you can't go into Canada without, if you have like a DUI, that's crazy. Yeah, you can't get across the border. That is like to this day the craziest fad fact I've ever heard. That you can't go if you have a DUI? Yeah. Mm. Like, why is it so wild to me? Yeah, you would think it would be like a violent crime. Can you drive in Canada? You don't have a DUI, but you have a license. You can drive in Canada? Yeah, you can drive anywhere. Oh. I can go anywhere and drive. What? Did you think your license was only for America? Yes. No, honey. No, no, no, no. Oh, so if I went anywhere, I could just like drive? Yeah, you could rent a car and drive. You could buy a car anywhere you wanted. Oh, I didn't know that. I thought it was just for like America. No, no. That just legally says that you pass your driver's license and you have this form of ID. I wonder if driver's license exams are the different, like crazy different in different countries. I failed mine. I failed my test. I had to go back and do it a second time. Same. Did you? I passed the driving part. It was the test part. I was like, what part of the test did you not pass? I forget. I mean it was a fucking while ago. It's nearly 20 years. Yeah, I haven't forgotten it. Oh She sits up at night eyes wide open thinking about it cuz I couldn't back up in a straight line. I still can't I, I don't understand what that means. The wheel would just stay straight and you would just go in reverse. And you'd have to look while you, look back while you do it. I couldn't do it. I still can't. And I, I remember turning around and looking at my mom in the back seat and her going, because she knew. You know what, Colleen? She knew! That doesn't surprise me at all. And then we got in the car and she was so scared. And she looked at me after and goes, Are you okay? Yeah, like, uh. I was like, It was so bad. I was screaming my head off. Because you were, I failed. Right. And I was upset. Were you mad at you or them? Uh, both. Great. Great, great, great, great. And everyone knew because I got picked up that day from school, but we weren't in school. We were actually doing a, it was a service day and we were cleaning church pews. So I had to have a note to say I had to leave early for my driver's test, so everyone knew. And I didn't come Oh, that's wicked embarrassing. And I didn't come back with my license. That's friggin embarrassing. I'll give you that. That's traumatizing, for sure. I was from cleaning church pews to failing my license test. Life comes at you fast. I passed the driving portion. I failed the written. Oh. Yeah, there was like a test you went in and took. Oh. And I failed that. Because it was like, how many feet away do you need to be from XY? And I was like, I swear, I never took a written test. Oh. Well, praise be. Maybe it's because you're so much older they really have to do it. Oh, fuck off, Colleen. Just kidding. Okay, here's another wild one for you. Okay. So my boyfriend Steve, this is from Tati again, so Steve and Amy. Okay, Queen. So my boyfriend Steve and I have the perfect relationship to the point where people told us we were the reason they believed in love at first sight. Pause for the eye roll. Continue. You don't say that about your own. Yep. But, we'll let it pass. Before Steve proposed, we always talked about how we would have a longer engagement so that we could save money and be in a better place financially, career wise, etc. He gets into a terrible car accident. A drunk driver was driving the wrong way up a hill. a road and hit him head on. I obviously rushed the hospital and they operated on this poor guy for 12 hours, like very serious. He barely made it out alive, but he did. He woke up. The doctors told him he would need a kidney transplant. And Amy is there with Steve's parents, and they all immediately start testing, hoping at least one of them is viable to give him a kidney, like a match. Strangely enough, it's Amy. So it says, I came back as the perfect match over his parents. So we start looking into surgery options, but they wanted to give Steve time to build up his strength before operating on him right away again. So they confirm it's going to be in six months. Steve is recuperating. Fast forward some time. Cool. Steve tells me that the accident made him realize that I was the one and he really wanted to get married. So he proposed. Best day ever. Everyone's so happy. Yada, yada, yada. I give you a rig, you give me a kidney, we're cool. We're cool. The next day, I come home from work expecting to see Steve relaxing and recuperating from all of his health stuff and he like doesn't move around super easy. He needs someone there and no one's home so she's like rushing home, making sure that he's okay and she starts to panic because He's not there and she's like how he needs my support to get around how so she's like I'm running around the house Stressing and I call his parents his mother answer and just started screaming at me She proceeds to tell me that Steve doesn't want to speak to me. I have no idea what's going on I barely sleep for days to work out what is happening days. I would have shown up with like I would have Shown up at that house so hard and been like you're a grown ass man. Don't let your mother do your dirty work What the fuck do you have to say for yourself? I think it also Kidney I was gonna say I think to where she's like his main caretaker to like if you don't want to marry someone just don't propose like it's just not It's not that hard. It's just not that hard. You, there's a door number two where you just don't get married. Also the turnaround time between you proposing and how you feel in this moment is obviously not a long amount of time. So like. Right. Well I'm just confused. No, it's the next day after being engaged. Yeah, so like what the fuck. And they were dating for years. And so the next line is I cared for him when he was sick and let's not forget I offered this man my kidney So finally one day the phone rings and it's Steve He goes on to say the accident made him realize that although he really loves me He doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with me. He called me all sorts of names. He called me lazy unattractive Unhygienic, and to add insult to injury, he called me boring. I could not believe what I was hearing. He wanted to marry me the other day. He also asked if we could still be friends. Stop asking that. The answer is no. I'm exhausted. And then he drops this bomb. He asks if it would still be okay to borrow It's not a borrowing situation. Borrowing is when you give it back. You're not borrowing it. You are whole ass taking it from her body. If you hate her so much, why do you want a piece of her in your body? What? You don't want a lazy kidney? I thought she was unhygienic. her dirty ass kidney? I can't. The audacity. The absolute balls on this guy. Back to narrating. She goes, call me old fashioned, but no ring, no kidney. His family told him that they weren't a good match and I was really the only option, and I flat out told him, no. I will not be donating my kidney to you, Steve. At that point, he started crying, and before I could hear any more of his sob story, I hung up on him. Good for you. You keep your kidney I'm sorry. You keep that fucking ring and you sell it. If you have the fucking balls To say that type of stuff to a human being who loves for you and has been caring for you and taking after you and going through a really hard time with you, to then say all, it's just, it's one thing to just go. The accident made me realize some things and I, I love you, but I don't think we should spend the rest of our lives together. That's already painful enough, but that is respectful. Wait, can we not do the details? Calling her unhygienic? What, does she spit in your mouth? Like, what do you mean? Something's wrong. I can't Steve get fucked. I'm sorry. I hope you get a new kid. I don't want you to die I hope you get another kidney, but like also fuck off. Can we get a circle back on that? Has man's got a different kidney? I don't know. Interesting. That's how it ends You and your ending. I know just ending it with a period Okay, there was an anesthesiologist who worked at our local hospital and another hospital in a different town. He was well known among other doctors and known to be good at what he was doing. I would hope, because, you know. It's a pretty one stop job there. Yeah, it's pretty important that you're good at that. Very important. Next sentence directly after that. He only had a small problem with being addicted to painkillers. No! No! And anesthetics. Oh god. That's not gonna end well. So to feed his addiction without getting caught he shot up part of his patient's drugs before injecting the same needle into his patients. Thus went unnoticed until it was discovered that over Sixty of his patients got infected with hepatitis. Yeah! And that he was the source for it. Yeah! He was fired and his license was revoked, as far as I know. I would fucking hope so. But the hospital's image still suffered quite a bit. Look at your face. And that's it. Wow. I bet we could Google that. Oh, 100%. That feels Google able. I mean, how many anest Sorry. Anesthetic. Anesthetic. It's like the person type. How many anesthesiologists do we, uh, you think are out there that are giving hepatitis to mounds of people? I mean, not the hepatitis part, but it is pretty common that Someone with an addiction like a nurse or a doctor or someone in that field then abuses their uh, you know I mean, that's the perfect like tempting position, you know, yeah, I can't even imagine that sounds like a nightmare Could I say I have one more crazy one for you? Okay So this woman, Alexandria, posted this on TikTok. Okay. Alex meets a woman, and they become fast friends, they're hitting it off, and she's like, you know how hard it is to make friends as an adult? And when she was like, hey, let's hang out, I was like, oh hell yeah! So they made plans to like, go hang out a week later, like go grab coffee, go Light shopping, you know, classic girl stuff. Girl tings. Girls and the gays. So, a few days after this interaction, Alex is sitting on her front porch having coffee when a neighbor walks by and is like, Hey, pretty crazy what happened last night, huh? And she was like, what are you talking about? Turns out a man was arrested the night before, mid masturbation, outside of Alex's house on her fire escape, looking through her bathroom window while he did this. Gorgeous. And a few days later, the handyman was over at her house for a completely different reason. And she was like, hey, while you're here, is there something you can help me with? And he was like, yeah, we got to do something about that bathroom window. And she's like, Oh my God, how does everyone in town know? Like, how would you know? And he goes, Oh, that was my cousin. And she goes, How does everyone in town know about Krusty Korey watching me put my cold cream on and no one gives me a courtesy call? So Korey's back at it again. Crusty Cory. Crusty Cousin Cory. He has us beat. Ew. The police don't even knock on her door to like let her know. Nothing. They just arrested, like took him away. That was it. So she finally goes on the friend date a week later. The woman she was hitting it off with and they're having coffee and this woman, woman is spilling her guts to Alex, like telling her all of, this is like the hairdresser just telling her. All of these very personal details about her baby daddy and how he never returns her calls and how he's a deadbeat or whatever. Is Krusty Cousin Kory her fucking baby dad? It's Krusty Kory! He gets around. He wasn't there because he was in jail. He wasn't answering his phone. From waking up while she's putting on her cold cream. Krusty Cousin Kory, get a grip! How did we get here, Kory? Kory, look at your life, look at your choices. Talk to your cousins. They seem to be making better life choices. Familial bullying. Bring it back. Oh, Krusty Corey. Good Lord. One time Erin was, Erin and her sister would run at the beach down the street from our apartment. Yeah. All the time. Yeah. And one time a woman stopped and was like, guys, you got, you got someone. No. Yeah, and they were like, what? And this man's just like fully wanking it. No. Yeah. I hate that story, Colleen. They proceeded with their run. Ew. And went back the next day. But she's like, well, what are we supposed to do? Like, whatever. I mean, you can't, I guess you call the cops and say like, we have a predator. I think the woman did. Oh, okay. Yeah. I was like, I think that's the next step. But the heads up, but like. You're like, maybe don't run by the street anymore. It's literally like the main beach. And he's just walking and wanking. Like, I don't know. Ugh, I hate, hate. Wait, he wasn't like in a home, in a window? No, he was outside. Well, no, he's a predator. He must go. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, they hadn't even seen him after that, but it's fine. They'd still be running, so. Good lord. She's our runner, she's our track star. Running from the wanker. Reason number 854, I don't run outside. We should move that to number one, because we're just so concerned about it. You know, if that was me, I'd be like, Really? You mean it? Oh, Colleen, I need you. No, it's fucked up, I know, he's a predator, but I just meant like, you know. Yeah, I'd be like, Ooh, I'd be looking good. Apparently I'm crushing it. Take a picture next time, brother. It'll last longer, longer than you. I mean. They run mile three, man. I don't know. I have a couple that are like, just really short. Out of pocket. Yeah, out of pocket. They're short. It's just like, I love it. I'm like, the fook. Okay. Let's just fire away here. A bunch of prominent married men. I love a sentence that starts with that. I mean, do they have any sons? A bunch of prominent married men were caught fucking each other during a hunting trip. Just dudes being dudes. I mean, if we can't take a weekend away from the family and enjoy nature and some concessional buttfuckin what is this even all about? What's life about? Right, guys? That's it. Listen. Daddies go away, but they're just out here hunting and fishing for something else, that's for sure. Broke back mountaining it? Yes. Apparently so. I just wish they weren't married. Like, do that at your will. Yeah. But just don't be married. And you know, they're probably like, it's not cheating, you know? Oh yeah, no. Definitely. They're fucked. Okay, cool. Did you ever have that thing when you were in high school? I feel like you specifically, because Catholic school, where they were like, anal doesn't count. Did you ever have that? No. Like, I'm still a virgin. No, because people were just not, they just were fucking. They were just wanking. Yeah, they were just fucking. Left, right, and center. Yeah, in the chapel. Damn. That's bold. Imagine if Nana knew that. That's all I think about sometimes. No, she, she would literally pray for them every single day. Like, it's bad enough that our aunts have to hear me say that, but like, oh, imagine if Nana knew that. No. my parents paid for me to go to school to, at a place, for four, more than four years where they were fucking in the chapel. Like that is so sacrilege. If there's anything nice we've ever done for Nana, it's start this podcast after she has gone. Yeah. Because if Nana had to hear about your bleached chastle, we would be in trouble. I'm like, she'd be driving us to confessional. 100%. Bless up. Bless up, Nana. Okay, this woman named Lorraine Okay, in my town, this woman named Lorraine cut off her husband's penis. Lorraine Bobbitt? Yeah, that's like a, that's a I don't know who that is. Yeah, alright, please continue. Oh wait, is that the story about the person that cut off his, her husband's penis? And that's who it is? Yeah. Oh, okay, so apparently she's like conical. No, but, please. Lorraine Bobbitt. So this, apparently they're, they're friends, okay? Not friends, but they're from the same place. She cut off her husband's penis and then she threw it out the window while she fled and then the cops had to go look for the severed penis, found it in the field next to the 7 Eleven. They took it inside the 7 Eleven and put it in a box, under some ice. They put it in a 7 Eleven hot dog to go container. No. Over ice. Listen, we are working with what we've got. What a, what a way to put your giblets somewhere. Giblets. That's disgusting. If there was ever a perfect place to source them, keep them on ice for using to reattach. In your hot dog. It's a 7 Eleven container for a hot dog. It's kind of brilliant. It's disgusting, but it's brilliant. That's what I'm saying. Another one. My favorite Chinese restaurant burned down when I was in high school. told by the fire department that nobody was left in the building. Turns out they had multiple people chained up in the basement as a part of a fairly large human trafficking operation. Suburb of Detroit. Fucking crazy. Period. No follow up. Oh my god. That's insane. That's awful. I don't love that. That makes me very sad. I mean, I would agree. I would agree. Woof. There is, not there was, there is a convicted cannibal in our town. Seriously. He killed his friend when he was drunk, and then he ate his jaw. Period. And that's it. Cannibalism is real. Okay, so one second on cannibalism. He's on his Hannibal Lecter shit. Would you start with the jaw? No, it seems like that's a tough point for me. I would start with like the ass or something. Right, so it has some meat on it. Jaw? The jaw? It's like, are you just gnawing on it like a dog? Ugh. Ugh. No. We have to, we have to continue on. Busted! A guidance counselor at my high school slept with two girls, both named Olga. I'd wager that there aren't too many Canadians who have pulled off the double Who have pulled off the rare You say it. I wager that there aren't too many Canadians who have pulled off the rare double Olga. I mean, does anyone know one singular Olga, let alone two of them? No, it's kind of a beat ass name, respectfully. It's so old. Olga. It sounds like someone who would, like, give you a back massage and fuck your shit up. Like, she'd get in there with her elbows. She definitely has double braids. I would say, like, a mole above her upper lip as well. A hundred percent. And maybe one chin hair. And definitely some straight chin hairs. A few. And they're dark. And they're dark and you can see them. The upper lip hair, for sure. Olga's got some shit going on. Dark, hairy, pubes! I'm just kidding. Oh my god. That was so aggressive. Dark and curly. Oh my god. What's happening? Are you having a stroke? I'm sorry I get so warm that I'm hallucinating. Also my back's kind of itchy at night. Don't have my back scratcher that you bought me. I use it. Oh, I'm very happy to hear that. Mm hmm. That was last year's Christmas present. It was. One of them. Okay, last one. The former mayor's son got caught beheading cats all over town. No, that's so fucked up. Then later that year, he received over 30, 000 in scholarships from all of the, from everyone at the mayor's office for excellence within the community. What? That person's a serial killer in the making. That's what I'm saying. That's so fucked up. Oh, no, I don't like that one. what's the? Reba's song. That's a night that they're calling in the same man. Don't trust your son to no backward southern lawyer. Cause the judge in the town's got bloodstains on his hand. That's that, that's how I feel about the southern, southern small towns. And I guarantee you that's one of them. Goddamn. The mayor's son's beheading cats? That's disgusting. Can't trust the mayor, can't trust the big heads in town. It goes all the way to the top. Reba said so. Some people message me about stories about open cases that I can't talk about. But, if you're around your family around the holidays, and you just happen to ask, like, Hey! What's going on? What's the tea? What's the tea? I bet, I was in the car the other day and I asked my mother and her best friend like What's the tea? What was going on? And they were basically like, when they were growing up, it was like people coming out as gay when they were married with kids. Oh, like man being like, I was gay. Or a lot of cheating, there was one person who was getting married and a guy waited outside like, for her to change her mind and like, called a couple days before and was like, please don't do this. So it was stuff like that. Some movie shit. That's crazy. Yeah, some movie shit. And then they have just straight up murder stories, but those don't feel as fun. No, I'd say they would damper the mood a little bit. They're just like, yeah, we were in a bar and one of Whitey's guys just shot someone in the face. And then the cop showed up and because of code of silence, we couldn't say anything. So everyone said they were in the bathroom, even though it was a one stall and there were, they were interviewing a hundred people. Oh, I didn't see anything. Every single person said I was in the bathroom. They watched someone get shot in the face. Like what? So it's so funny because they were like, Oh, you know. Like people come out or they're cheating scandals or like the wedding thing and then they're like, and then there's murder. MEDEA! And I'm like, I feel like we skipped a few things there. But yeah, if you, if you get anything juicy, please let us know. Do follow up. Give us some shit to talk about so we don't have to give these stories from reddit. I like the reddit stories though because they're anonymous and it's, they're unproblematic because they have no ties. It's so crazy. They're always out of pocket. Yeah, like you can't make that shit up for sure. Okay, have a giggle for us. Okay? Alright, let's do it. If I was kidnapped. If. In the slim chance that, you know, that ever happens. Please. Just kidding. these are the rules for my kidnapper, should that happen. Okay, I'm ready. Cool. Gonna need to have access to my private story. Like, the girlies have got to see what's going on. They, I can't let them. Your close friends on Insta? Oh yeah. Yeah. Like the private Snapchat story. They have to be involved because I gotta provide with the content. But doesn't that defeat? You know what? That sounds great. I love that. I like, I mean like, whatever, I won't tell'em where I am. Vlog the kidnapping. I gotta turn my location services off. But like, I still gotta let them know what's going on. I have to keep the content going. Sure. Gonna need a sodi a day or else you will not like me. A Diet Coke. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. No other sody. Ever. There are no other sodies. Sure. Sure, sure, sure. Makes sense. Gonna need one of those every single day. Yeah. Or else you're not gonna like it. Yeah. also I saw some online, like I googled, cause I was like, I wonder what other people are saying. You know? they're all saying they need a bathroom. No. If you're gonna keep me captive against my will. I'm shittin my pants, I'm shittin on the floor, I'm shittin in your mouth. I was gonna say, I, I would cause a scene. I would put, I would put I'll schmear it on the walls. Every bodily function. I actually do think about this sometimes, cause I'm crazy and watch and listen to too much true crime. Oh, someone tried to rape you, you'd pee your pants? What? Oh, nevermind. Sorry? If someone was like trying to touch you, you'd just pee your pants. I can't do it on command like that. I think you could in the moment. Okay. It makes them not want to touch you. I'll, I'll keep that in mind. That's not where I was going with that. I was going more with like, there was a girl who put like, her handprints all over the place. Mm. But not in the places you would expect like, someone to wipe down. So, not just the door handle, but like, the mirrors. And like, put your de like, take You know how you shed? Like, take your hair and Sprinkle it every fucking place you can find. and I'll never forget, there was this one girl who was being held captive, how smart is this girl, she memorized the phone number of the magnet on his fridge that was a dentist's office, and she memorized it, and when she escaped, they were able to cross reference and find him that way. Because it was his dentist. Oh, that's smart. And I was like, I would never have thought to like, memorize the number of the magnets. Anyway, I'm taking this too literally. Please continue. No, that is so smart. Put your DNA anywhere. Shit, piss, everywhere. Nowhere is safe. No corner is safe. No crevice is safe. People are like, I need a bathrow. I'm like, oh, no. I would have personally appreciate running water. Give me a bucket. Call it a day. This world is my bathroom now. This room is my shitter. Shitter's full. That always reminds me of my brother. Oh gosh, of course. If there is no fan, we will have a problem. Like to sleep with or just in general because you're sweaty? Uh, both. Great. But chances are I'm probably in a basement. And like it's usually pretty cool down there. It does, heat does rise. I love it. It's nice and dark. It's nice and cool. But like, I'm gonna need a fan. And if I'm not sleeping, I'm cranky, then we have a bigger problem. I would need a comfortable pillow. No, yeah. Like I couldn't just sleep on the floor. Like, I would need some level of comfort. I think I'd be okay without a pillow, but I would need a blankey. Because the demons get you when you don't have a blanket on top of you, you know? You know the feeling? That something's gonna grab your feet? What? No, people will know what I'm talking about. Like, you could, like, you just think that, like, a demon's gonna grab you while you're sleeping? No. Nope, I don't. I, I don't know what you're talking about and I simply do not feel that way. I can't have my feet out. Your feet are out all the time. When I'm sleeping. I need to have them covered and my legs covered or else I feel exposed to the elements like the something's gonna crawl up and get me. So my feet dictate my body temperature and so I stick my foot out on purpose because that keeps me cool at night. You stick, you stick your foot out on the side of the bed? Oh yeah, I crank that bad larry right out there. I do a full high kick. Barefoot. Let's go. Bring, bring those fucking demons on. Are you serious? I could never do that. You're such a scaredy cat. Why are you scared of so many things, do you think? I don't know. I don't know. Is it the tism? Yes. Yeah. Like, you don't, you don't ever, like, when you turn the light off in the room, have to run out of the room? No, that's what toddlers do. Because they're scared of the dark. If I get up at night to pee, I have to, like, put all the lights on, like, with me as I Because all those times where you've been attacked in the dark? Yeah. Mm. Yeah. And so when I'm running out, and I'm obviously asleep naked, so picture me just running from my living room naked and all the night. I can't imagine it, actually. Shuffling. And you know I'm heavy on the feet too, so it's like boom boom boom boom boom. Tits going right left right left. Running from the quote unquote demons. Yeah sure. I'm gonna need my self tanner. Because, when I am found, given I will be found, obviously, and it's televised, I, I feel like you would want to be captured pale, though, so you can have a glow up people can talk about. If you look good when you're captured, you're like, it must have not been that bad. You know, you can't, you can't have a tan when you've been in a basement. I'm sorry. That's true, but like And then you glow up and they're like, oh my god, look at this. Stunning tanned goddess. I just don't want to be seen in our presence. Okay, fair enough. And that's on period. I can still be ugly and be tan. I mean, you do that regularly, so that does not surprise me at all. As far as the suntan want to be ghostly. I can still be ugly. Okay. You know, do not put a gun on me. I'll probably like it and I probably won't wanna leave I'd be like, oh really? Thank you. Oh, this is fun. You know, it just seems like I had something I would be in the moment, be like, oh, like, you know when they lean over you like, and you're like, oh, I'd be like, and I've been a bad girl, so don't do it. I'd I him on. I won't go I won't go. You're stuck with me. This will be your nightmare. You think it's mine and it's about to be yours. Ever heard of Stockholm syndrome? Colleen. Oh God. I do starve me. I do in fact want to leave skinny. I at least feed me like a rabbit because when I'm hangry, I'm such a bitch. Like, yeah, I don't really like you when you're hangry. I'm sorry. I know. That's okay. I know that about myself. And it's just like, I, I don't want to be starving, but you can, you can hold off some of the carbs. You know what I mean? Like, don't bring me in a, like, pasta. No, yeah, keep me some veg. get some veggies in there, give me some protein bars, like, keep the party going, but keep it low enough where there's a deficit, where I, I, I, So you want to be kept in a nice low calorie deficit? I want a low calorie deficit, but I want to be fed. Okay, I think that's fair. Okay, thanks. I do want to be on Ox. Sorry? I want to be Aunt Ox. The DJ? You want to DJ your kidnapping? I got a podcast or something. They just bring a microphone to down to you. Welcome to this week's episode of Sippin with the Shannons. Wow. I got a podcast. And listen to the podcast. It's just ABBA on repeat. You play Hollywood for Christmas for three hours straight. That would simply have me going, keep me on my meds. This is a warning. I was gonna say, that's not even up for debate. That's not even like a This is a warning that should not be ignored. That's for you, sir. That is for your benefit. And if you like the way Your hair is in your head right now, and you don't want them ripped out. This is on you. If you want to live, I was gonna say, you have two choices here. The hard way or the easy way. Yeah, and last but not least, pump up the drama. I love the attention. I do. But on the TV, I want to watch myself because I'm sure I'm on the news. You want to watch me cry on the news as I look for you? Yeah, I feel like we could be like telepathic. Like I feel like I could come to you in your dreams and tell you. Do you? Yeah, I do. Okay. Come to me my dream tonight and tell me I feel like something and I'll wake up and see if I can it. Well, no, it would have to be in a situation like that. It ha Oh, okay. It's life or death. Yeah. It can't just be for fss. Like, I feel like you would if something happened to me. Like you would feel it. Yeah. I feel, I think I feel that way about you and Erin too. Like, I feel like, like an intuition. I mean, Erin always knows, always. Yes. Erin actually does always know. Yeah. Always. But yeah, I, I would try to, telepathically communicate with you if that's what you wanted. Yeah. Like if I was in. Near a beach like I feel like you would walk into a pile of sand and be like there I know where she is. You know, I just feel the earth and go I know where she is Reminds me a part of Harry Potter part two When they're like, where is he? And he like goes into his head and sees that he's in the boathouse and he's like, I know where he is. That would be like us. Because it's part, a part of him. Because he's a horcrux! Lives within him! I'm just kidding, that's where I'm at. The boy who lives, come to die! I'm gonna get a burp! I'm gonna get a burp! God damn, that series is good. Anyway. That's all I got, bitch. Alright, okay, be nice. It's the holidays. That's no excuse to be nice. Okay, great. As far as I'm concerned. Positive stories. This one's from Upworthy. It says this. It's a letter written by an older man. Oh, come on. An old guy. Come on. It says, Hi, so and so, and the person's name is scratched out. Okay. I found many old VHS tapes recently and wanted to see what was on them, and I realized I had no player, so I went on eBay for the first time and discovered your offer. So we bought this man's VHS tape. Okay. I bought your VHS and you shipped it within a few days. The VHS looks new and unused, amazing. I had some issues getting it going, which were mine and not the player. I am 86 and perhaps not up to my game, but I do get there eventually. And I did, and discovered the VHS works perfectly. Thank you so much for your care, your efforts, and your prom ness. I'm gonna cry. I watched tapes of my retirement party from 25 years ago, which I had never seen before. Jeez, were we young. Then a tape of my wedding, with all of family and friends, many of which are no longer around. Skiing trips, kids growing up, travels, and most importantly, the gentle maturing of my family. Each one more fun than the last. All thanks to your generous selling of the VHS player, I thought you would appreciate how much someone enjoyed your offer. Best regards. And then he actually signed it like with his name in cursive. I'm really upset. Isn't that the nicest thing you've ever heard? I also saw on Tank's Good News that It's official, the FDA is closer to approving a drug that lets, uh, big dogs live longer. Oh! Yeah, there's this biotech company called Loyal and they announced that the FDA is closer to approving its drug that could extend the lifespan of a large breed dogs. Veterinarians say the experimental drug is promising and by 2026 it can be on the market pending FDA approval. Pop off. So yay to all of our, our pup parents out there. Let's get those pups left to 100. For real. Okay everybody, that's the episode of the week. Yeah, that's it. We're gonna record another one right after this. So I'll see you soon. this comes out before Christmas and our next one comes out after. So whatever you celebrate, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, happy, merry, I hope you have a wonderful week. I hope it's as little stress as humanly possible and you have a great time with friends and family, chosen family. Whoever you get to spend it with. I hope Santa's good to you. I hope your cup runneth over and Merry Christmas you filthy animal. Oh, I loves that. Good one. Yeah. Love you. Mean it. Love you. Mean it. Bye. Bye
Bridget:This podcast was produced by me. Bridget, Shannon. Music is written and performed by Matt You can find his band super Stoker anywhere you listen to music.