Toupee Crack

On this week's episode, Bridget's grieving (again) and Colleen is the picture of HEALTH and WELLNESS... but is also in her gross girl era. Then we get into the topic of the week... HEDY LAMARR: THE MOTHER OF WIFI. Colleen explains why Hedy was more than just a Hollywood actress, she was an inventor and a baddie. Six husbands won't stop this trailblazer!!! We will only be talking in the third person from here on out and will be accepting no other questions at this time. #MohawkAss 

Sources:

• Ecstasy and Me: The Biography of Hedy Lamarr
• The Dark History of Hedy Lamarr - Bailey Sarian
• Wikipedia (obv)

Positive Stories of the Week:

• Six Nice Things That Happened In February
• Mr. Larry Saves PJ Day for Levi

Review and subscribe! You can find us on Instagram @Sippinwiththeshannons or send us your stories at Sippinwiththeshannons@gmail.com. Love you, mean it.

Transcript

0:24

And got some gimme now, Can you love enough, I think I'm ready now, I think I'm ready now, And got some gimme now, I don't even know what the words are. Don't you know that you're destined? Do do do do do. Is that the one where she's in a, uh, She's a stewardess? Yes. Yes. Sure is. I think I'm ready now. For this podcast? Yes. Or just the song? To be in your presence. Period. Back in the pod room. There's no lag. How about that? And we can freely talk over each other. I know. I tried so hard to get rid of it in the last couple. I was secretly so relieved that we didn't have to use the voice on our phones for the last episode because mine didn't work. Yeah. Okay. Same. It never went through. So I'm really glad that we didn't need that. My worst fear was you being like, Hey, can you send me that? And he'd be like about that. It doesn't exist. And then you being like, I need to find peace in America. Just chill in. Oh Lord. I also, it's very weird to record without seeing your face and just to call you out for a second. Cause this is what we do on this podcast. I know you're on your phone. I can hear you just going. Yeah, definitely. No, I would say sometimes I would be, I would Aimlessly going like this, but like not actively like doing something else because my attention span could never handle that But I definitely would be like finding myself going like this because I need I can't look at it I have nothing to look at yeah Because we had to shut off the video to have the lag and so to not physically see you even when I travel friends Was like you can tell she's just yessing you Shit I think I overthink when you're telling a story sometimes because I feel like I'm saying the same things, but I mean them. Do you know what I mean? Like if I'm like, no, you're right. No, like I'll be like, oh, wow. Like, but I mean it, but I just keep saying it and that's annoying. Well, that's how 100 percent happened. Yeah, that's true. You said it 45, 000 times within our first four episodes. That's also fair. I think I stopped doing that though. We say a lot of things over and over and over again. It's an overthinker's panic. Who cares? Meh. If you mean it, I don't give a shit how many times you say it, I just want you to mean it. Yeah, but I can imagine being on full sound in the car, having to hear me repeat the same thing over and over again. Blech. No. Blech. So that's what my thought process was. Got it. Got it. Got it. But also, we're both ill. Very fair point. Very fair point. We're both ill. Literally. I mean mentally, yes, but also physically ill. Which is great. Great timing for everybody. Mentally, physically, spiritually, financially. Eww. Speaking of which, hi everybody. Hey. Welcome to this week's episode of Sippin with the Shannons. We're cousins and each week we sit down, we sip on some wine, we talk some shit, and we have a good motherfuckin giggle. I'm Bridget Shannon. And I'm Colleen Shannon. How's your life? it's How's your choices? It's not great. Yeah, I know. I made poor choices, but no, they were decent choices. It's a half and half. It's split 50 50. Mm. Mm. Debatable. Anyway, what have you been up to? Tell us about your life. Do tell. I made a note today. Okay, great. I love when you make a note. Okay. I made it to talk about things I realized and thoughts I had and things I watched. Oh, Lord. Okay, do you want me to go first or do you want to go first? it's up to you. Maybe I should go first because mine's a little more somber. Okay. And then you can take it away with all your silly, silly, goofy stuff. Mine makes no sense, so yeah. Perfect. Uh, last time you saw me I was I went to Rio, Rio de Janeiro in Brazil, which is like the craziest place I've ever been. Your brain can't compute what you're looking at because they built a massive metropolitan city in the middle of the mountains. In the jungle on 99 beaches and then at the highest point of that city on the highest highest hill Is that where the Jesus is a big old Christ the Redeemer with his arms out? People are thirst trapping in front of Jesus. What do you mean? People are dropping it motherfucking low They're trying to get the shot and honestly while we're going up there so he faces towards the city Rio's the city of God he faced so his arms are out facing the city and He I just feel like he would hate it Yeah, I don't think he'd like the clout because so many thousands of people go a week I think they said 12, 000 people at least a week ago And so you go up there and people aren't trying to take pictures of at him from all angles because he's only facing one So that means all the people are concentrated in front of him, right? Full ass cheerleaders like a guy holding a girl up in a stunt one arm trying to get a photo people laying on the ground thirst traps Instagram models. I was like that Jesus would hate this. Yeah, he would. Not to speak for him, but he would. I, listen, I don't know him or her. I think it's a her personally, RuPaul. Uh, but I just have to say I think she would hate it. I feel that deep within my bones. But if there was ever a time to pop your Poussoir, it's for Jesus. It's in front and for our Lord and Savior. Pop your Poussoir for the Lord. Sorry. So anyway, so we do that. It's amazing. We did this, this incredible carnival experience where you probably don't remember this, but I did like a quick carnival recap a couple of weeks ago. Yes. And there are 12 samba schools that all compete to win carnival and they will win millions of dollars, which is a shit ton of money in Brazil. And they have full time people who make the floats and the costumes and it takes them all year long. And so we went to the samba schools and we got to see all of the floats and all the things that they build and all of the designs. And each Sama school gets their own theme. And so the one we were in, the theme was Panther. So everything was Panther. So like leopard print, everything. Gorgina. You would have loved it. And so, there was a Panther. And later I met a girl at Carnival who showed me what the Panther looked like. So, laying down, this thing is huge. It's probably two to three stories. It stands up. It stands up in the air. I will show you a picture after. Fuckin crazy. My brain can't compute that. Someone designs and builds that. They're massive. So you're just like, in awe, and then you walk around and you see all the designs and these cos these beautiful costumes on these mannequins, and then they tell you all about The beginning of Samba in Brazil and Rio and Carnival and like how they're judged and there's 40 judges and they walk 82 minutes straight each Samba school, 82 straight minutes. One woman wears this dress. I will show you an example. I will post an example. Massive. Like think of old school Victorian heavy, heavy, heavy dress. She's like the queen and there's a king of carnival of each samba school. She has a flag. The flag can never drop. For 82 minutes, that woman holds that flag in her hand. She's not allowed to switch hands and she can only bring her elbow down a certain amount to give herself a little bit of rest and then it pops right back up. For 82 minutes. What do her arms look like? Strong. They look fucking strong. Okay. So they were teaching us all that sort of stuff and then we go into a room and there's two people standing in front of two curtains and we're like, what is going on? And they do like a big three, two, one. Pull apart, we get a whole dress up fashion show. We get to get our grubby little hands all over these gorgeous, uh, you could not have stopped me. Is that the one in your Instagram from today? Because that fourth, third or fourth photo was slay. Yes, so. There's a video. One woman got it and the woman's like, okay, everybody, it's time to try it on everyone. Form a line. And it's me running across the room. Like, no, I couldn't get my grubby little hands on them faster. So much fun. Samba, like actual carnival dancers came in. We got to dance with them. I mean, it was just, it was amazing. We went out one night, we had so much fun. We found a bar that actually played music that was in English. So we were very excited about that. Yeah, no, it was incredible. I ate really well. I will say it's not the safest city. You definitely have to keep your head on a swivel. I never, I went through a tour, so I never felt unsafe. But I also, if I wanted to find trouble, it would not be hard to find. And I don't mean like You didn't want to find trouble? No, I don't mean cute trouble. I mean like gang trouble. That's still cute. Cockroaches. So many. I saw so many cockroaches. I don't think I've ever seen a cockroach in real life. Yeah, so it had Are they big? It depends. The bigger, the nastier. It's kind of like a, a mouse. Or a rat. Yeah. So, they weren't small. Okay. I, the way my friend Drea was up there was like a bench at a restaurant we were at. She was up so fast on that bench because they were crawling. They were creeping and crawling. So, I didn't love that. But I ate really well. It's a beautiful city. We did stay in the grossest hostel I've ever been in and me and my friend Amber were roommates and we were in two twin beds that shared a headboard. So when I rolled over at night, I hit her. We were on top of each other. She was just fluffing her sheet one day and it like moved my arm and she was like, I'm so sorry. I'm like, no, I just did not realize that was your bed. Like I didn't realize we were. Literally inside of each other while we lay here. You didn't want to snuggle? We had no choice. Like, we, there was no room. We're not talking even twin extra long, like, from college. We're talking smaller than that cherry headboard. It's getting caught. I slept like I was in a coffin. So, you would have loved it. One night she was in the bathroom and I heard some scuffling and she comes out with the door handle in her hand and she's like, So I guess we're peeing with the door open. Yeah, it was just dirty. The elevator broke. We were on the seventh floor of 10. We were walking up and down the stairs. It was a whole thing. Good workout though. But I don't know if I'll go back to Brazil anytime soon. So I'm really glad I did Rio in case I don't because like I go all that way. I have to go see Rio de Janeiro. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like going to New York and not going to New York City. That's crazy. Oh, that's a good comparison. However, uh, one day when we were there, I found out my Aunt Janie died. I walked into a place to get, to use the bathroom, and my phone started blowing up. And my Aunt Janie is essentially my grandmother. She's been like my grandmother for You know, my whole life, as long as I can remember. She's the sweetest, nicest lady. And, you know, it went very quickly from, we have a month left, I'm coming home for my bestie's wedding's coming up, Mike and Brooke's wedding's the end of March. I'm like, alright, I'll be home at the end of March, to I need to go back to the apartment and book my flight home, like now. And it just it took all the wind out of my sails, obviously, now I'm away from my family, when I find out, I'm sad, and so I got home, I booked my flight, a couple days later I came back home, and you know what, listen, she was old, she lived a long, beautiful life. When my Aunt Mimi died, that was her number one caregiver. She was never the same. She was never the same. Her quality of life wasn't great. And so it's a much easier pill to swallow. It still sucks, but it's an easier pill to swallow, watching life just happen versus the tragedy. In someone getting taken from you too soon or anything like that. So I'm at peace with it. Still doesn't make it any easier though. No, and of course, I come home and I haven't seen any of my family. And the first time I see them, I'm walking into a funeral home. It's like one minute I was on a beach, Frolicking around Brazil, And the next minute, I was in a funeral home in Charlestown. Yeah. Zero to a hundred. Yeah. Yeah, and it's like in full grief mode in the middle of winter. Yeah, so it hasn't been great But we're home. We're making the best of it. I am sick My face is completely broken out and I hate March. I didn't notice. I think you look beautiful. Oh, that's very kind of you No, I think you look glowing tan I mean, I definitely have some color, thank God. Imagine if I came back pale. Eww. Eww. Natural. No, I don't see a pimple on your glowing face. Oh, well that's kind of you. yeah, so it's been, it was a rollercoaster. And I think between, I got into that fender bender, and I think I said on the episode, as long as that's the worst thing that happens to me on a trip, you know, like, everyone was fine. That did not age well. That did not age well. You really put that out into the universe. I really fucking manifested the wrong way. I'll tell you that right now. but I'll miss my Aunt Janie. I can't imagine doing like Bunker Hill Day or Christmas without her. but you know who will miss me more than her? Is the casinos. Because your girl loved a casino. She also loved movies. She had, when we were kids, we would go downstairs and she has this bookcase full of DVDs. And for her eulogy, my uncle read out a poem Patrick wrote, her grandson, he was like six or something. And in it, it was just like the most beautiful little thing about like, he'd go downstairs and watch movies and he, Had chicken that tasted like ice cream because it tasted so good and he just wrote I smell pizza I see a little brother eating a cookie and then it says it feels like heaven. That makes me really yeah Yeah, and that was auntie Janie's house and she did that thing that's so annoying if parents do it But because it was a grandparent it it just felt really warm and fuzzy So the night before Thanksgiving one year I got very very drunk because who among us And my mother had no sympathy. Just like, get in the house and shut up about it. You know, I'm complaining. I walk in, Auntie Jenny's like, Oh, Carolyn, look how pale she is! Someone get her some food! I'm like, thank you, Auntie. Thank you so And my mother's rolling her eyes so hard they're rolling down the street. Cause she's like, you did this to yourself, but that's, that was Auntie Janie. She was like, Oh, I love you. You're my favorite. But she said it to everybody. But I, I know it was for me. A hundred percent. I couldn't agree more. I was going to say you would do that too. You would hear someone say it to 20 people and be like, nobody really is me. Yeah. So grieving a little bit, but it's okay. I got two and a half months of wonderful memories and I have many, many years of wonderful memories with Auntie Janie and it's all gonna be fine. So Love that mindset. When can I leave? When's your, what, what, what plane are you already on at this point? Well, I should probably find a job first. Is that on the radar or no? No, I have to. Oh, we do? If I needed to before, now it's a must. Got it. no, it's fine. I mean, I wasn't going to ask you about it. I'll find a job. Yeah, it's fine. I mean, I'd love to retire. I thought I'd be so bad at not having a job. I'm so good at it. I never want to work again. A job will come to you. Yeah, definitely. Maybe now you could circle back on that trolley job. Oh my God. My sister sent me a Boston Trolley job where you essentially are like the duck tours. You're the guide. You would be so good at that. Yeah, I travel. I can't do that remotely. But while you're here, take advantage would do that for the summer. Fuck yeah. That tips Fuck yes. Anybody you say that to will agree. 150%. Yeah, no, I know. I know, I know. So, yeah. We'll, we'll see what happens. But I'm home, honey. I am home. And now we rot. And now we sit in the pod room for the first time in almost three months. How crazy is that? It like doesn't really feel like it to be honest. Do you think it feels like it? Yeah, it feels like, I feel like I've lived 1, 000 lifetimes since I last saw you face to face. I feel like I saw you yesterday. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. She comes in today and she goes, Oh, it's so weird seeing you in your apartment. Like, uh, yeah, I fucking live here. I go, you've seen me more in this apartment than not. She goes, I know, I just liked it. I'm like, fucking, welcome home to you too, Colleen. You know I didn't mean it like that. No, I know, I know, you goofball. You goofball. Okay, please regale us with whatever nonsense you are about to share, because I need some giggles. Okay. Things I did. Oh, one of my regulars at work. I was time laughing. So on Sunday Are you a waitress, I assume? Yes, yes, yes. So when I, uh, I went out on Saturday, like nothing crazy, I just went out. Like, I have literally nothing else to say other than that. But I made poor decisions on Saturday night, and then I woke up and Was okay on Sunday and like went and did athletics and like sweat and like whatever and then I went to work again Okay, we need to pause for the cause for a second here I want to the beauty of a podcast is we have evidence for almost nearly two years now Can you believe that a couple months will be two full years of this podcast? Yeah, I've seen you so frequently for two years That's crazy. Yeah, at least once a week sometimes more. How do you feel about that? Yeah, I'm indifferent. No, I love it Okay, if you say so. I'm just kidding. It's great. It's tough, but it's good. No, no, no, no. You have said in the past you don't get how your friends get up, go to the gym, hungover. You're like, I just couldn't do that. I just couldn't mentally do that. Let the motherfucking record show. This bitch got up, definitely hungover the day, went to hot sculpting yoga. Not just yoga, not just a sculpt class, a hot Yoga sculpt explain yourself. Who is she health is wealth and you are the richest bitch in town No, it really was just because I but I paid for like a monthly unlimited plan But if I go all the time, I know but if I pre do it like it forces me to have to go Wow So therefore I booked on a Sunday not thinking I was going on Saturday because I'm not supposed to going out because I'm supposed to Be saving money and I went out and also I was being really gross. I put on Tanner on Saturday day Went out, was sweating at the bar we were at, like it was a sauna, okay, it was packed, we were packed in like sardines, it was so fucking hot, melted away, had sexual interactions, woke up, went to hot yoga, went to work for six hours. Never showered. Never showered for the entirety of that. That surprises me because you are very much a when I get home from the bar, I immediately shower. Yeah, I'm in my gross girl era. I just don't shower anymore. The other day I went to a yoga class. I don't even know you anymore. I came home and put on a t shirt and was like, okay, I'm going to bed. Yeah, I don't know you. You don't shower. You always shower, even though we joke that your hair is always greasy. You always shower. You hated people who did any sort of workout hungover. You're saving money. You're staying in. Ixnay that last one. Ixnay that last one. And you're going on dates? Like what the fuck is happening, Colleen? I went on like one and a half dates, and that just hasn't That just became nothing. It's just like nothing at the moment. I don't really know how to explain it. 2024 Colleen is wild. Wild. I wish I could tell 2022 Colleen what she had in store. She would have punched you in the face and told you to go fuck yourself. No, it's really nothing crazy. Okay. It's very, I'm slowly adding these things into my day to day. She's looking slim. Like if one large gust of wind came. She'd be gone. I would simply fly away like Dorothy. If you turned to the side, you would hide behind a grain of rice. I swear. I would simply disappear. You would disappear. No, I haven't really noticed because of the fact that I look at myself every single day and everybody I've seen or been out with sees me every day. So it's not like Well, as someone who hasn't seen you in nearly three months face to face, It only sees your face for about five seconds before we're like, Oh, there's a leg. Shut the camera off. She, she'd be small. She'd be small er. Oh, that's so gorgeous to hear in, in the face, in the frame, you know, wide back isn't so wide. She's still got a fat Poussoir, low ass crack, low ass crack. The other day I said, Erin, I said, I think, I think, Oh, Fiona and Erin had to do it. We'd whack my ass the other day. It was not great. Okay, let's not. Can we fuckin find another goddamn word? Well, what would you prefer? Weedwhack? Can we just say wax? Well, they don't wax it. But I bought, you know what, I cracked the code, you guys. I cracked the code. They have these little, like, patches with wax on them that you're supposed to use for your upper lip. But I can just reach behind me and put them on the top of my ass crack and rip. I'm so happy for your vermice that you have discovered this. I, I was like, have I? Have I cracked the code? Am I a genius? Or am I a fucking genius? Should you patent this, maybe? And that's how you make your millions and become the richest girl in town? I mean, I was thinking A self butthole waxing kit? Sidebar. Okay, sorry. Mind you, the problem isn't the butthole, it's above it. Because I have a low ass crack. Oh, right, you were saying So, because I shaved it one time, and I somehow reached it, I have not been able to reach it since, so it just grows. and that's just the honest truth. So if I, like, lean over, like, they can see it. They're like, dude, like, the top of the It's like a tuft. It's like a toupee. It's like a toupee on the top of the crack. So, anyways. You have a toupee crack! I have a mullet. I actively have a mullet. Of the ass. You must stop. You must stop. I'm just being honest, you guys. Oh, God. So, I was saying earlier today, I'm like, They must have invented a razor that's like skinny and small that you can get the cracks and crevices. You know like they invented like a thing that you can put Tanner on your back alone Why can't they do an ass crack shaver? I don't know Colleen. They don't exist. You should be the one who does it Yeah, so I don't know. Well, I'll let you guys know I might be on to something here. TBD We could come up with like a cute funny name for that. I think you just called it toupee crack. I think that's what it's called Patent Trade market. It's ours, bitches. Don't you, if I see it on the Sharks, I swear to God, he'll come for you. If I see it on Shark Tank. What's his name, Wood? Buy in. Mark Cuban? Yes. Yes. what was the point of this story? That's a great question, Colleen. Why don't you tell me? Because you told me to sidebar it real hard. Well, shit. Hold on, no, no, no. We'll figure this out. They weed whacked my ass is the first statement. Okay. We can figure it out. Go to your next thing on the list. We'll come back to it. Yeah, whatever. So I went to work on Sunday. I went to work on Sunday and I have, there's like a regular that comes in all the time and I was just like, kind of like, ugh, like at my wit's end, just like cranky and cause I'm fucking tired and I'm dehydrated. And he's like talking to me and he's telling me about his night and then I've noticed something's different but I just kind of am like ignoring him. He's like at the end of the bar. And then eventually he's like. His wife or whoever he was with was like, Oh yeah, like he lost his teeth and then I realized this man is straight mother fucking gumming it in front of me. And I was like, if there was ever out of all the things that you've done and said, and just this might be the worst day. This might be the worst time I've ever seen you because this is a, this is my 13th reason. And he was just slugging him back his martini. Straight gums, uh. No, what happened to them? He got drunk and he left them in his pocket. Of a coat, I think, that he lost? Why are we taking them out to begin with, do we think? I don't know, ask my dad, he does that too. I was gonna say, maybe put them in a retainer holder, though? Maybe there's like a holder for them? Sometimes my dad's around the kitchen table. Okay, okay. Talk to him about it. Yeah, alright. Well, same, same, same, same, same. We'll just go back on that. Same Steve. Just in case you wanted to know my regular is coming in at the bar with a martini. With a full, gummy martini. Ready to go. Telling me his life story and I'm like, Something's different. He's like, full Mer mer mer mer No actually! I went to Disney On Ice. Alone? No. Not like a predator, right? Because that's what predators do. No, I'm not a predator. Okay. I was in a box suite, bitch! With the gals. you keep talking about it every year. Yeah. So did it I just want to know if it met your expectations or if you were underwhelmed like most people are. So, I forgot that we're old, so like, the new things, people were quaking over Encanto. They were creaming for Encanto and I was just like, okay, cool, love the vibes, love little old lady. Pussy popping to Encanto. Yeah, but like, where are the OGs? There was no Ariel. There was no Ariel. Sorry? That's just sacrilegious, if you ask me. There usually is one OG. They had Cinderella, Snow White, They had everyone but Ariel, it was weird. No, that's weird. That's just weird. And also, Tinkerbell came out at the end, for the end performance. And she just hung out in the end. You know that it's not Disney on Ice for you. So, the things that you love, like Tinkerbell, the Aristocats. Well, I didn't expect the Aristocats to come out. The Little Mermaid. But the Little Mermaid is a, is a staple. It's a staple. Why was Raya in the Whoever Dragon coming out swinging from the roof? She fell also. So Ariel wouldn't have fallen. I'm just saying. Cause it's for the kids now. Not for you. Fuck them kids. That's all I'm saying. There's gonna be like a 90s, 1000s of kids. Also, chicken fingers. 19 bucks a whack? Yeah, I know. It's insane. Inflation, man. I'll tell ya. We out here struggling. I bring tequila to my own tequila bars. I'm struggling. Right. Right. But I did buy them. And let me tell you, they didn't sell well. I don't know. Something was not right. They're also never cooked through. You can feel the frozen. And I'm not talking about Elsa! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ow! Ow! They had Frozen, right? Elsa and Anna, and obviously Olaf and Kristoff, the whole squad was there. They literally sang one song from Frozen 2 that was like, fine. Love is an Open Door? No, it's Frozen 2. They didn't sing one from Frozen 1. Oh. Oh. Mm hmm. Elsa didn't get her. Was it Into the Unknown? Yeah, I was one of them. That's fine. That's fine. That's totally fine. Absolutely slaps. The other one I was like, and no one was really singing so I know it wasn't just me. So I was pissed. So it was just like annoying. Got it. I'm just saying. at one point, I was eating chicken fingers and we're sitting in the box like jamming away. And, One of Fiona's friends was like, all I can smell is ketchup right now, and I was like, oh, that's totally me I'm just like legit drinking ketchup back here with my my tendies and then she texts us later and goes dude I just realized that I have ketchup all over my like legs and underneath my arm How? It was just so funny because the whole time she kept being like all I smell is your ketchup Um,, but her friend has, her dad works there and just got tickets for, it's just deeply upsetting. I was going to say, for the record, for anyone who doesn't know, both of our dads worked at the garden for a very long, long, long time. Yeah. Is it weird? One retired, one dead. Like, not fair. Not fair. Bring them both back. Come on, man. L O L. Sorry, I don't know if that was an L O L, but I'm L O L'd. Listen. This dark humor is how we go on, so I'll take it. That's the biggest tragedy of them all. That we don't get garden tickets to fucking Disney on Ice. Get the fuck out of here, Colleen. That was too hard. I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding. I'm obviously being facetious. You don't even know what that word means. Spell it. It means I'm kidding. Go, spell it right now. F A C E T I O U S, right? I don't know what words mean, but I know how to spell. What does it mean? It means like, I'm just kidding. Sarcastic. Like I'm not being serious. You're not wrong. Wow, I'm actually pretty surprised. I'm like, wait, every night before bed I'm like reading the dictionary while you're away. Okay, that actually wouldn't surprise me though. Do you do like a word of the day? And then, did you see the little girl who won the spelling bee? No. Oh my god, I want to snuggle her. Anyway, okay, please continue. Sorry, sorry, sorry. things I realized and thoughts I had. Pirates are real. Colleen, what in the fuck? I'm on pirate TikTok right now. Oh good lord. So there are real pirates out there. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. But they're not like, obviously trying to steal your booty or whatever it is. Isn't that what it's called in like the TV shows? Pirate booty? Like the popcorn? Isn't that what they say in like Peter Pan? Oh, like the treasure. Is that what that's called? Yeah. Don't they call it the booty? The pirate's booty? I don't know. I'm not crazy. I've heard Captain Hook say it probably. Okay, the snack obviously popped right up. I'm not crazy, guys. But pirates are real and it's fucking crazy. Except they're really mean. And like, not nice. Swashbuckling pirates are your thing. You likely associate the word booty with what is Also called a plunder. Stolen money or goods. Oh, okay. Got it. In its earliest use, booty referred explicitly to valuables taken in war. That is, to the spoils of war. Okay. So they'd kill ya, take your shit. Your booty. Yep. Okay. Arr. Arr. Okay. Anyway. so I'm on pirate TikTok. Shit's crazy. It's real. Got it. Side note. Firefighter TikTok before bed. That's all I'm gonna say. I'm assuming that's a yay and not a nay. It's so good. Alright, Colleen. JoJo Siwa, Must Be Stopped, Part 2. Okay. Have you seen it or not? Yes. I have seen so many people like duetting it, being like, I'm sorry, I thought this was Billy Ray Cyrus. Someone just was like, you get away from me. You back the fuck up. Whatever this is. Yeah. Yeah. She's, uh, she's going full tilt. That's not Jojo. That's Billy Ray Cyrus. Okay. Have we seen them in the same room? That's what I'll say. The answer is no. Prove to us you're real. Prove to us you're two different people. Come forward. And then. Okay. Okay. Okay. Come forward with the truth. Billy Ray, come forward. Oh lord. Things I watch. Okay, I've been keeping this in for like three weeks. So, Crossroads is on Netflix, right? Sure. And, I have never seen it, but I have What? No, no, listen, listen. So, I had never seen it, but I also, I like knew it, like I know the songs, like I had the hit clips, like I knew the characters, I just had never seen the movie. And I had the hit clips, like, I'm not a kid, like I had it. Of course. I was in on it, okay? I was in on the tea. I love rock and roll. I put a lot of love in the juice box, baby. So, anyway. I hadn't seen it, and like the other day I just like watched it randomly when I was working from home. It's kind of sad. Yeah, and then I watched, so I watched it, but I just am toxic. And was saying that I had watched it or whatever, and Aaron and Fiona were like, I've never seen it. And I like gaslit them for like three days being like, I literally can't believe you've never seen it. And I just like couldn't stop, like I don't know why I did that. And we were texting in the group message from Disney on Ice with Fiona's friends, and I had been like, Fiona's never seen Crossroads, and they're like attacking her about it. And I was like, Oh my god, I've literally just like, I had not seen it until this week either, now that I think about it. So, and to this day, they don't know that. I've seen it, so Fiona's gonna listen to this and text me. You made your friends attack one of your best friends for a thing that you had just recently done. Yes, and I attacked them being like, Well, how have you not seen this movie? And even though I had just seen it that day. And then made them watch it, like, three days later. And was like, I can't believe you guys haven't seen this movie. This is the best movie of my life. I'm like, I can't believe. Is this a culture shift? That's like insane. Like, I'm pretty sure I used the words uncultured swine and it's just like, who am I? You saw it this week. Five seconds ago. Just finished it. Credits are still rolling. And I'm like, oh, and then I'm like, oh, this, and I already had asked me a question being like, oh shit. I'm like, and I didn't know the answer cause I had just seen it three days before that. So then I was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's the story of Crossroads. Great film though. Yeah. Great film. Loved it. I also watched on Netflix because I just had been running. they called him mostly harmless. Have you seen that? No. Fuck, was it on Netflix? It might have been Hulu. I've been watching True Crime because I only watch that when I'm in a good mood. Okay, got it. Fair. Do you know what I mean? Mental wellness. If it's a good day, I'm watching true crime. If it's a bad day, I'm watching something light, fluffy, and stupid. So was today a bad day? You were watching Hercules? Yeah. Oh, okay. Sorry. No, it's okay. It's okay. But I'm here now. Now we giggle! Yeah, so it's about, about basically they find this body in the woods on like a trail and but this person's like extremely malnourished and it's just kind of like question mark like, like he's near the road and like there have would have been people and like, why is he like sitting here dying away? So it just was a big question mark. They couldn't figure out what happened to this, this man. He's a John Doe. So They start, it's like the investigation of trying to figure out who he is, who saw him, and then it just tailspins into like all these people, like this trail organization, and everybody that goes on these trails, it's like a community. And they're all like, I saw him here, I saw him there, I saw him this, does anybody know his name? But, the trail community, they have nicknames, so it's, you don't go by your real name. Okay. So like, it's a thing apparently, I didn't know that. It brings you into the world of like, trailers. People that go along trails and hike the Appalachian. Appalachian. Appalachia. Appalachian. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Appal wha da. And a and a ooh. And a and they'd be hiking the mountains. Okay? That's all you need to know. And it's just, it spirals into like who this person was and he never, they realized he never said his name to anybody out of the hundreds of people he met. He's in pictures, videos, and someone had asked him like what his name was and he went by Mostly Harmless. I'm Mostly Harm I'm Mostly Harmless. Isn't that creepy? Yeah, so it's a whole thing about how they figure out who he is and it takes them forever and then there's like beef in between the Facebook groups, like, it's crazy. Alright, well, I will watch it on a brighter day. So, uh, it's not that dark, I'll be honest with you, it's just more like At the end, is it all tied up in a bow? Yeah, great. So just watch it. Give it a spin. And I think that's all I have, to be honest with you. I actually wanted to tell you that When we were in that really shitty room in Rio, me and Amber are hanging out on top of each other because there's nowhere to fucking go in the room. She's like, hey, do you mind if I put Chicago PD on? I was like, ha ha ha! Wow, why does everyone in my life love this show? And so she plopped it on while I took a nap. Wow. That's so gorgeous. So your house still had a TV? It was like you were there. Yeah, it did. It did have a TV. Okay. And it worked, but that's about it. Oh, also my mother called me immediately after the Kennedy episode and was like, I have some thoughts. What were her thoughts? I'm intrigued. She said that everyone needs to do their research because they've done a lot more good than I mentioned. I was like, I know, but I was just sticking to the tragedy. Yeah, the curse. But she was like, Eunice is amazing in like mental health. Eunice! It's all because of her. Eunice! And she was saying that they've all done really wonderful things and that everyone should go look into it. She said, you remind me of kick and I was like, I'm going to take that as a compliment. Yeah. And not as anything else. Yep. She said, you know, your great grandmother was also on a coffin trip to East Boston, right? Damn. My great grandmother or my mother's side of the family that is. Uh, and she said that one time, Joe Sr. brought a Hollywood starlet home, her name's Gloria Swanson, brought her to the Kennedy Compound. Oh! And had dinner with all nine children and Rose at the table while she he was actively sleeping with her. And, obviously horrific, and like the way that those boys watched him, you know, do his thing, float into them kind of thing. Yeah, definitely had some After effects and she said that she heard a story that after Joe senior had a stroke That Rose would never say this but essentially rained leaned over to him and said karma's a bitch Iconic because he couldn't do anything and he was what not able to care for himself He also hired a bunch of young women to work at the house So he could sleep with them and she canned all of them and hired all of her own staff after he had a stroke But my mom was like, she absolutely did grammar checks on all of their letters and even wrote to them I really didn't like the language you used in that last letter. So do better next time and she said he was a tyrant He was awful, but she goes, did you know JFK walked in the Bunker Hill Parade? I was like, I didn't know that and of course, right? of fucking course. I'm in Rio de Janeiro. I'm on a random ass mountain. We go up this gondola thing up to the top of this mountain called Sugarloaf. We're at the top of Sugarloaf Mountain. There's this little museum and I walk in and there's a picture of JFK on the wall because he visits. I'm like, what are the odds of this? And one day we were at the beach. And I start talking to our waiter and we both spoke a little bit of Spanish So I can't speak a lick of fucking Portuguese even after being there for a month So that was kind of my middle ground if people couldn't speak English And so we're going back and forth and I tell him I live in Boston He just keeps talking about the ship the ship the ship the ship the tea party and I was like That's what I said I go with the tea and he's like the ship the big ship and I said the USS Constitution And he's nodding and he's pointing to the restaurant and I'm like Okay, cool. Lit. And so he keeps pointing to the restaurant, and I'm like, great. And so it started to rain a little bit, so we ran inside. I shit you not, you walk into this restaurant on this random beach in Brazil, in the place that I stayed has over a hundred beaches. Could have been anywhere. I walk into this restaurant, and is there not an exact replica of the USS fucking Constitution Boston Mass underneath it? Why? I have no idea. So weird was like, this is so weird. Just like, why? I dunno, I couldn't even tell you what the US Constitution looks like. I are you. Oh. But I just, just see my brain, how it just could not compute. I was a robot that just shut down mid-sentence. That's what you just heard. Uh, yeah. No. What I mean by that is like, that's crazy. It's crazy. Yeah. But it's, it has a little thing next to it. We'll post it, it has a little USS constitution thing under it. Oh, you took a pic of it. Yeah. Gorgeous. I would show you, but it's up there. Uh, but anyway, my mother knows a guy, who knows a guy, who is security at the Kennedy compound, who could give us a tour. So she was like, what if we went and did a tour of the I would literally pass away. We'd have to vlog. Cape Cod, the Cape Cod compound. Jesus Christ, Bridget. Words are hard. But yeah, so do you want to go do that? Yeah, slay. And we'll do a follow up? We got the real deal, the real tea. JFK's in my story today, actually. Oh, is he now? Just for like, one line. Okay, cool. Well, let the JFKness, let JFK continue on. Let JFK slay away. Keeping him alive, just like his eternal flame. We are single handedly keeping JFK's name alive. Not any of his History books? Primary and secondary sources? Mm mm. Family members? No. Us. Sippin with the motherfuckin Channons. That's what's keeping JFK's name alive. You are welcome. You're welcome, King. You're welcome, Kennedys. That was a good claim. Please don't come for us. Come for us. Please don't fly any of our planes. My intrusive thoughts were just to gargle this wine and I don't know why that was. You've definitely done that before on this podcast. I'm really craving a chicken cutlet. Colleen, what would you like me to do about that at this time of night? Nothing. I'm just thinking about it. Okay, great. Okay. Great talk, everybody. Hey guys, it's me. It's a Colleen episode for obvious reasons. I have not had one second. So once again, have no idea what the fuck this is going to be about and God help us all. It's actually very like Poison unlike me and more Bridget like, honestly. Oh, cool. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? No, it's a good thing. Okay, did you learn something? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Oh, I'm excited. so, we're talking about International Women's Month, uh, at work. Sure. And like, we're doing like a whole thing about it, so it like, inspired me, I guess you could say? Are you doing a lady story? Yeah. Yay! Which lady? We'll get into it. Sorry. I'm just saying. Skipping ahead. No, you're not, you're not. I just want to say, like, cool, love feminism, F the patriarchy or whatever. Like, I'm all for feminism until something's broken. Then, all of my feminism goes out the window. Leaves my body. Something is broken, something needs to be moved. My car's making a noise, not a fem no longer feminist. Like, need a man to fix it. I'm just gonna be honest with you. I don't need to drive. Fix my car. No, like, Daylight Savings Times this weekend, Run them really far back to where I don't have to work. Yeah, you know, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll stay in the house I'll have the kids. Yeah, Susie homemaker. Bring it on. We'll run it back, you know, yeah and like shout out to everybody that like fought for our rights like love you so much. Thank you, but I don't need them. I don't want to work. Okay, alright. Easy. But nevertheless, but nevertheless, Easy there. It did inspire today's topic, okay? Okay, great. so I'm going to tell you about the icon who doesn't get talked about enough. I don't think she gets enough credit. An unsung hero. Yeah, you probably know her though because I live under a rock. Maybe not. Probably. Okay. Do you know Hedy Lamarr? No. You don't at all? No. This is so exciting now! I've been waiting. I've been like, oh my god, she definitely knows. And then she's gonna be like, oh my god, yeah, I know her. I don't know who that is. Okay, cool. So we're gonna talk about her. She doesn't get enough credit, so she needs more hype. Great. I won't tell you anything about her. I'll just, like, straight up tell the story, okay? Hedy Lamarr was born Hedwig Eva Marie Keisler on November 9th, 1914, 1914. We're off to a great start. 1914 in Vienna, Austria. Shout out Harry Potter. Hedwig. Couldn't stop thinking. I thought about it for like 10 minutes and then was like, okay, proceed. Like hyper fixated. I did have to look up where Austria 2 was. Got it. So we're informed. It's in Europe. We're super informed. Wow. Look at her go. She's looking up maps. What is happening to you? I'm just saying. I looked it up. and I had to read about World War 2 a lot for this one. I don't know what's happening. I like am borderline concerned. Nightmare. Nightmare. So Hedy's a queen. That's all you need to know. Her father was born Jewish, and he was the deputy director of this place called Weiner Bankieren. Probably butchered that. All you need to know is that it's a massive bank in Austria. It's iconic. Got it. Everyone here knows about it, apparently. Obviously we know about it. Right. Duh. Right. If you don't know, shame on you. Honestly, embarrassing. Any person that actually does know and just heard me say it is probably like this girl. Yeah, don't come for us. No, don't. I'm being We barely speak English well. Ignorance is bliss. I'm sorry. so it's a well known bank in Austria. Her mom was a pianist and so she had a normal standard family. She was an only child. She didn't have any siblings at all. And from a young age, she showed a lot of interest in acting, she was fascinated by the theater and films, and at age 12, she won a beauty contest in Vienna. And Gorgina she was. Love it. I'll show you a picture so you can have a I was gonna say, can I look her up? Yeah, you can. Oh, she's absolutely stunning. Holy shit. Someone told me that she was the inspiration for Snow White, but I couldn't find that anywhere. Yeah, that makes a lot of fucking sense. So I don't know if that's true or not. Wow. We talked about her at work, that's why I Gotcha. she was Gorgina. She went to the theater a lot. She frequented ballet shows, all of the things. She loved the glamour, the spotlight. She was simply obsessed from a young age. But, she also learned a lot about technological inventions from her father who would take her out on walks, he would point at things and explain how devices functioned and how they were built and how things worked essentially. And from a young age she was super curious, she was intrigued by the way things worked, she loved to take things apart and put them back together, that was her favorite thing to do. Damn. Growing up when she was 5 years old, her favorite thing to do was to take apart her music box and put it back together. Oh wow. At 5 years old. Okay, so her brain's just built different. Yeah, like, sis could've skipped a few grades. At age 5, I'm telling you, I probably was doing what? Like, picking my boogers and eating it? And she's taking apart You are definitely still shitting yourself. At 5? Yeah. I would hope I was potty trained at 5. Me too. Right? Yeah, you would be. Oh my god, I was buying tampons the other day. and it was also in the same aisle as like, adult diapers. And I'm they the adult diaper models? Kinda slay. Are you looking for a third job still? Because I think I've found it. There was this one guy, and I was like, oh, he looks good in it. Like, he does. They should go to the diaper spa in New Hampshire. Yeah, it probably, maybe that's where they got him from. I don't know. Who knows? Maybe. The world may never know. Shout out to Depends. Brought to you by Depends. so sidebar the thing about her liking inventions and things, okay? Other than that, she has a completely normal childhood. One day, she was taking acting classes in Vienna and she forged a note from her mother and she went to Sasha Film, which is an iconic film festival in Austria. Obviously, again, everyone knows about it. We don't because I live in Iraq. No, we obviously know about it. What are you talking about? We're so well informed. We've been actually. We are cultured. I know where Austria is on it. I didn't get it confused for Australia. So she goes to this film festival and she gets herself hired as a script girl in the back. Very sneaky girl. And, uh, from the beginning of her job, she is Obsessed and that transfers her into getting roles as extras in big time movies and she's getting a taste for the fame and the entertainment, the whole thing. So things happen very quickly for her. This guy, a producer named Max Reinhardt, sees her, and casts her in a play because he was so impressed with her and he was even more impressed with her after it that he brought her back to Berlin with him. He was like, you have to come with me. You could do big things. I see big things for you. So she goes, she's like, fuck it. Let's go off to Berlin. Wow. and he's like, I can make you famous. And she's like, okay, cool. Great. That's exactly what I want. That's where she gets the role that essentially made her famous. So she stars in a controversial film called Ecstasy. It's an erotic movie that jumpstarted her whole ass film career, but also brought her like a lot of controversy and it followed her forever from this point on. Okay. So at the time of the film Ecstasy, she's 18 years old and she plays the lead. She's a neglected young wife of an indifferent older man, it's scandalous, and the film was celebrated but also, like, not really because it was essentially the first time, because it's 1930, that an on screen, on screen, on screen orgasm, like, is filmed. Like for in a regular film. a sex scene. Yes, but It's not porn though, it's just No, it has, it's a whole ass normal film with a plot, but there's just this one scene. Okay, got it. Like this one unfortunate scene that is iconic. but Obviously, it's the 1930s, it's super scandalous, but it's super close up, so when she is filmed it, she's essentially like duped by the director and the producer, who used like this certain kind of lens and they basically zoom in, and in the 1930s, like, they didn't have zoom. Like, you know what I mean? Right, right. so. She thought it was gonna be some, like, artistic performance that was back far away. There was, like, obviously a man in the scene, and the, the, it's literally her face. From point A to point B. Like, that, that's just it. So she didn't know. And obviously when she says that she didn't know, they're like, yeah, yeah, shut up. You know, like, you wanted this. So they manipulated her really, really badly and people absolutely hated it and they hated her for it. Got it. It did, however How dare women seek any sort of pleasure during sexual intercourse? And have it be filmed? She should be shamed. If she found out about OnlyFans, let me tell you, she would be quaking. Oh, girl. But however, it did, it did win an award. at the Venice Film Festival and in Europe it was considered an artistic work with a couple haters, whatever, but in America it was like, holy shit. Sacrilege. This whore. Yeah. So they ban it in America and they ban it in Germany. Stop. Stop. No, I swear. It was considered overly sexual and it received like a ton of negative publicity and especially in women's groups. Hello, no, aren't women supposed to support women? I'm just wondering. Meanwhile, fast forward almost. A hundred years and we have Saul Byrne. Yeah, like, let's relax. This man is wanking it into a grave for entertainment. And he's slurping semen out of the bathtub. Please. RuPaul would call it entertainment. I can't. so this poor girl, like, what the fuck? And the girls are being mean. They're just like, she's a whore. It's fine. But again, all publicity is good publicity. It does put her on the map. So I guess it's just kind of like that little, like, starlet letter. It's giving her a letter. It's Kris Jenner, bad press is good press kind of thing. Yeah. So she moves on and she's like, whatever, fuck it. She plays a number of stage roles, including one in a show called Sissy. People loved it. I'm not sure if you're familiar. I don't, I have no idea what that is. No, I am not. I didn't put the name of any It's a little before my time, Colleen. Oh, is it? You just have an old soul. I didn't put the name of any movies or anything she was in because I was like, I have no idea what any of these are. And I, I genuinely don't think that. People do, unless you live during that time. So I just ex nate it. Just know she was in very well known movies, okay? Cool. Got it. For the time. so in this show, Sissy, people loved it, and they loved her in it. They were obsessed. Admirers sent tons and tons of roses to her dressing room after every single show. Everyone tried to get backstage to meet her. She sent all the flowers away, including ones from a man who was Extremely persistent. And his name was Frederick Mandel. He became obsessed with getting to know her. Would not stop. Needed to know her. So, she's like, okay. And so she marries him. I mean, yeah. That's kind of how that works. So in 1934, she marries Mr. Frederick. And she's 19 and he is 33. Ooh. Okay. So we don't love that. No. Sidebar. He is the first of six of her husbands. Oh, fucking get it, girlfriends. Yes. Get it. We'll circle back on the rest of them. Don't worry. I was gonna say, if anyone's read the book, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. I oddly haven't. Okay, you absolutely should. I know. I know. It's on the list. I just like It's so good. And right when you think you know what's going on, something, something happens. It gets real crazy. I think it's going to be a movie soon. That wouldn't surprise me. I bet picked that shit up. No, I think she did. Is it her? Maybe. It wouldn't surprise me at all. I could be wrong or I'm thinking of something else. Whatever, not the point. But yes, I'll read it. But Mandel, I'm gonna call him Mandel because Frederick is like hard for me. Mandel, he was an Austrian military arms merchant and manufacturer. So, he was just selling guns to everyone and anyone that wanted them. Sick. He was also the third richest man in Austria. Okay. I mean, listen, not a bad man to marry by the sounds of it. And Hedy, she fell for his charming and fascinating personality. Wallet. Oh, sure, that too. And it says dot dot dot and his wealth. Oh, okay, great. That's what I wrote. Get it, girl. And his big, fat wallet. Love this for her. Her parents, remember, are of Jewish descent, so they did not approve. Especially because he had ties with our friend Mussolini. No, no, let's not say friends, even sarcastically. Okay. Our, our, we, our number one here, Mussolini. I'm just kidding. But we hate Mussolini, and also he had, a tie to Hitler. and this is like right before World War II, so like, Hitler wasn't even that bad publicly yet. Like, he was bad. Let's be clear. I mean, he claimed bad for, right. But he wasn't But since he was born. He was still saying quiet part out loud. Correct. Or not out loud yet. He was relatively minding his business. He was whispering it. Yes, he was not screaming. He was not screaming it in front of thousands of people. Yeah, gotcha. Yeah. So her parents were like, not cool with it. And she was like, it's fine, guys. And she was really headstrong. So she's like, I'm going to do what I want. So fuck y'all. Do you think that's what she said verbatim? Is that an exact quote? And no 100 percent in Austrian. Exact translation. Fuck y'all. I'm gonna do what I want. Fuck y'all. Fuck all y'all. But then after a little while she describes, and she has an autobiography, oh. Pause, pause, pause. I took a lot of clips from her autobiography, but I also watch a video by our friend Bailey Sarian. Bailey does her? Oh, I love Bailey. And also the Wikipedia pages, obviously. Duh. But just to be clear. So a lot of these, like, my sentences and or quotes are from her autobiography directly. Oh, look at you citing your sources. Yeah. Pride. Just how to say that. That's what I feel. she describes Mandel as, in her book, as an extremely controlling husband who obviously objected to her risque scene in Ecstasy, but also like, don't marry her, that was before you married her. I was gonna say, you weren't even in the fucking picture there, bro. Literally and figuratively. Fuck off. Yeah, and you were obsessed with her after that, so STFU. Yeah. Bye. Bye. And he was like, you can't act. Sorry. Not allowed. You mean my whole ass job? If you're gonna be married to me, then no. So he, He just wants a housewife. Yeah, so she claims that he literally kept her prisoner in their castle. Like very Rapunzel. Yeah, let down that hair, girl. If I got locked away. We lost it all today. Tell me honestly. Would you let me act today? You did not just come up with that off the spot. I'm sorry. No, you fucking did it. No, I swear you can check my notes. Fact check me. I actually love that your notes are usually All different shapes, sizes, and fonts, because she's copying and pasting. So it'll all be one font, and then there's just gonna be like, all caps. And then it'll be all lowercase, but in a completely different font. It's as chaotic as you think it would be. Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair. Proceed. Uh, Mandel, as I mentioned before, he had close business ties with the Italian government because he literally sold guns for a living. So he is selling guns to the whole squad, both sides. And Hedy wrote in her biography that the dictators of both countries, that were all parties that were involved in World War II, attended lavish parties in their home. Obviously not together. Sure. Duh. Uh, cause that wouldn't end well. Uh, with nothing else to do, because she's literally Rapunzel, she would accompany Mandel to all of his business meetings, where he would be meeting with like big name scientists and other professionals that were involved in like military technology and like how to take this shit down. Like top tier in their fields. Military people, I don't know, head honchos. You can come up with your imagination, I don't know. And her whack ass husband literally had no idea how smart she was because she Was just banished to the the attic and so she's just like taking in all this information like the icon that she is Yeah, she's being a sponge yeah, and all the conferences were kind of like her introduction into like science and like she wasn't allowed to have interest like Science like she wasn't allowed to have interest. So it was like Oh sparking her other talents that she might have Yeah, like the little five year old who was taking shit apart and put it back together. Yeah that one. Yes Yeah, we'll get into that though sidebar that information again. Sorry. Okay, put it to the right. All right, right Back to my girl. Hedy's marriage to Mandel eventually becomes absolutely unbearable, and so she decides that she is gonna separate herself from her husband and the whole ass country. Oh damn, she's like, not only fuck you, but fuck Austria. Yeah, so it's 1937 and she's like, I gotta peace the fuck out. In her autobiography, again, she wrote that she disguised herself as a maid. And she fled to Paris on a bicycle, off into the night, on a bike. Gasp! Yeah, she's like, fuck this fucker. I'm out of here. Imagine being so mad at your husband, you get into costume and flee multiple countries on a bicycle in the 30s. We're not talking about paved ass roads. Yeah, and she's like not allowed to leave the house. In the middle of a fucking war. I also appreciated that she never wrote about being like, fearful of him. She kind of was just like, annoyed. She's like, I'm done with you. Yeah, she's just like, I'm Go away. We're good here, brother. Yeah. Love that for her. She writes, I know very, I knew very soon that I could never be an actress while I was his wife. He was the absolute monarch in this marriage. I was like a doll. I was like a thing, some object of art which had to be guarded and imprisoned, having no mind, no life of its own. Ew. Yeah. My nightmare. So she's a baddie. Off she goes. She arrives in London in 1937 and she meets Louis B. Mayer, the head of MGM. Oh shit. Yeah, like the big, I was going to say, sorry, the big what? If you don't, you know. If anyone knows, it's the lion at the beginning of MGM motion pictures. Anytime MGM movie starts, it's the lion that roars. It's actually a pretty good impression, if I do say so. Thank you. I don't know why I whispered. Yeah, me either. So, Louis Louis, however you'd like to say his name. Open to interpretation, guys. He is scouting for talent in Europe at the time, and he, they meet. He's fascinated by her, obviously, because everyone is. Yeah, she's a magnet. Yeah, she's that bitch. She is that bitch in Europe. Mind you, she can't speak a lick of English, so it's like, not that she'd be speaking English in Europe, but like, she only speaks I was gonna say, Colleen Sorry, sorry, sorry. Speaking French. I meant to say that when she gets to America. Okay, got it. Because she does iconic shit in America, but she literally doesn't speak English. It's crazy. Okay, so she, but she's, uh But, sidebar, she also doesn't speak whatever language is happening right now where she is, is what I'm trying to say. French, Colleen. Yes. If she's in France, she's speaking French. So she can't speak French. Got it. So she is like, the fact that she can do all of this while also not having a language barrier is Iconic. Yeah? Cool. Yeah. So, he makes her an offer of 125 a week and she turns it down. So then, she books herself on the same boat to New York as him. And she manages to impress him enough to secure a 500 a week contract instead of 125. Which is around 10, 000 a week in today's money. Holy shit. All while not being able to speak his language. How? I don't know. Oh, damn. She must be so charming. Yep. So she sells herself confident. Queen Slay. She's like, Ika, qui. Oh my God. My friends, Rochelle and Stefano are gonna listen to this one day and fucking die. Why? Because they're from Canada and they, they speak fluent French. And I did like a few things on our trip and they were like that. That's, that's good. Good for you honey. like. They would just whip it out and it sounds so beautiful. And I would just, French is so beautiful. So I would just, no, I could listen to a French man talk all day. Yeah. What do they say, Bonsoir? Bonjour. Bonjour. Where am I? What's Bonsoir? Rochelle, help me. Stefano? Sorry, don't come for me. Où es tu? That's all I got. I've seen Emily in Paris, so. So we're basically French. We don't make the rules. I smoke cigarettes outside on patios. And eat chocolate. And walk around with a baguette in my pocket. Beret? I have four. I am Emily, Emily is me. Oh my god. So she's, oh sorry, we're on the boat. We're on the boat, we're on the boat, okay? He's like, cool, you're coming with me. So he brings her to Hollywood in 1938 and he began promoting her as the world's most beautiful woman. I mean, he's not wrong. Yeah? He's not wrong, she's stunning. According to one viewer, When her face appeared on the screen, everyone in the room would gasp. Like, her beauty literally took one's breath away. Yeah. Do you think people feel that way about us? Definitely. Not right now, but in general, for sure. For sure. When we walk into a bar. Everyone stops and stares. Those bitches again. Not for the reason we want them to. Why does that girl have self tanner dripping down her face? Why does she smell like ketchup? Why is the other one's face breaking out? I probably have, like, ketchup in my hair. Like, I don't know. Who knows? Who the fuck knows? yeah, so she's in Hollywood, she's the world's most beautiful woman, we get it. She settles into life in Beverly Hills like nobody's business. She's socializing with high class people including John F. Kennedy. Uh, that makes a lot of sense. And this guy, Howard Hughes. Do you know who that is? Yeah, of course I do. So I don't. So that's why I didn't know. It's all good. So, yeah, point in and out. He's a fun aerospace engineer. So just, he becomes important later. Not important, but he gets brought up again. Well, he produces movies as well. Yeah, but, so he is a businessman, film producer, investor, and most importantly, an aerospace engineer. Okay, got it. Okay? Done. So over the next four or five, I don't know, over the next five years or so, she is booking film on film on film, look up her filmography, I'm not telling you, it's a bunch of shit I don't know about. But in every single one, essentially, she is playing the seductress where her lines are emphasized on her beauty and her sensuality and she's given relatively very few lines with actual substance. Cool. People love her, obviously. She's just for the face. Yeah. They just want her for the face. She's much more than that, obviously. Yeah, course. But, I mean, she's that bitch. She's, everyone loves her because she's beautiful. But that's all she is. And it's just like. Very annoying. So surface level. Yes. Agreed. In one article, I read, they interviewed this guy. We'll call him Dr. Simon. He's like a business school guy in Paris. And he did a whole thing on her. It's in, it's in my sources, I promise. and he said. From Hedy, they absolutely want a glamour. Talking about, like, the people of Hollywood. They wanted somebody to stare in the movie theaters that would help them forget all of their troubles. Hollywood divided the world into two kinds of women. Madonna and whore. I don't think anyone ever believed she was anything but the latter. Wow. So that first movie really just set her on a path. Yeah. But even when she came to America, like, she wasn't the orgasm girl. They don't, they don't. Yeah, they don't have that context. It's just like this beautiful girl. So it just, it did follow her, but like didn't. Well, women just can't win. Yeah. They were either like seductive or they were like put on a pedestal and like not meant to be touched and just looked at. It was either one. It was either like, you're a whore. Virgin Mary or slut. Yeah. It's either one. He also said a powerful lady who is sexy but smart is really scary for men. Yeah. Yep. So the lack of acting challenges really bothered Hedy. She reportedly took up inventing to relieve her boredom. You know what? You did that today. With the toupee. Oh, with my mullet ass? Yeah. Mullet ass, is right up the same alley as what Hedy was doing. Business in the front, party in the back. Part the Red Sea. Wait, I meant to tell you. This is my people, like, if you're listening to me, I'm, we're related. I'm sorry. I just have to, this is funny. Just skip ahead if we're related. You know the drill already. So, on Saturday night, I had this conversation with my girlfriends, and I was like, I'll just, we'll just ask the guys. Like, I'm just curious, like, from a male's mindset, if you are, like, thoughts on Bushes and not bushes like I know it's like a generational thing like obviously people were rocking bushes in the 70s But if you for example, yeah, we're out on a Saturday night and was really like vibing with a girl She was obsessed with you all over you and then you like end up going home with her and then you discover a bush How do you proceed? Do you just are you just completely disregarded and don't care or are you kind of like? But like gotta finish the mission like what are the thoughts and they were like, oh like We finish the mission. We do what we have to do, but like, we definitely don't love that. And he was like, well, if it's a fade, it's fine. One of my guy friends, he goes, if it's a fade, we're cool. But like, if you can braid that bitch, I was crying laughing. He was like, if you could braid that bitch, we have a problem. So I asked my guy friends one time the same questions we were all, girls and guys were all talking about it. And they were like, we don't give a fuck. Yeah, like men are men. It's a hole. I was gonna say, wormholes. Yeah. It doesn't really matter at the end of the day. It's just your personal preference. So if you want to. Grow that bitch out and braid it or you want to be like a waxed Barbie doll you do you boo boo Do you brother but I was just curious. I was like, I'm just wondering like yeah, just how do you guys feel about it? Well, I learned something the other day that all vaginas are well, I didn't learn this part, but all vaginas are very very different Yeah in summer outside Yeah, outies. And people are out here getting, like, vagina surgeries to fix it. Leave your vajayjays alone. Just let them mind their business and be cute and fine. Let them be free. Let your pusswas be free. Let your flaps fly. But I don't think that's what's happening. I think they're out. You know what? We can discuss that on a different episode. And not when we're talking about a beautiful, wonderful trailblazer. We will talk about vaginas and bushes maybe next week. Back to Hetty. Back to Hetty. So she's inventing things and not talking about her bush. It's actually from our friend Howard Hughes. He provided her with the equipment to run experiments in her trailer during her downtime. So good old Howard was a good confidant and gave her what she needed. Love it. Which, again, at this timeline, Men weren't that like letting women do those things still so like the fact that she he was like, let me help you You can do something. Yeah, I'm a fan. Yeah, I like it. He was above our time Is that what you're supposed to say when people are like ahead ahead ahead of our time. He lives above us She, so she invests all of her spare time, including on set, in between takes, all of the things, in designing and drafting inventions, which included these two, an improved traffic stoplight. Get out of here. This bitch made a fucking stoplight. I don't know what, I don't know what it looked like before that she changed it to, I didn't look into it, but like, either way. Yeah, I mean, it was horrible. A fucking whole ass stoplight. And also, a tablet that would dissolve in water to create a carbonated drink. So, it, think dehydrated coke in a tablet or emergency. Yeah, a hundred percent. She invented that! Damn. I don't know how. But she did. Damn. And then she has this brilliant idea. Bear with me on this one. Sure. It's this idea of frequency hopping spread spectrum technology. Bitch, don't even try to explain this to me right now. I'll explain in a moment, okay? Okay. Did you actually look into it? Yeah. Yeah. Shut up. Yeah. What is happening to you, Colleen? At the time now, it's full blown World War II. And the goal of all parties is to figure out how to win and like drop bombs or whatever without the enemy being made aware of communications to do so. Right? Because we all have phones. You can't be like, drop it! You know? You need a way to communicate that isn't like, I can't text you and be like, now's the time, brother! Drop it, lock and load! You know what I mean? So, how do they get away with it? So then, basically, she creates, what she creates is the ability for everyone involved in the war to utilize radio communications to hop from one frequency to another so that the Nazis couldn't figure it out. Got it. Think of it as Like radio channels. Like, hop to six, hop to six, when we were on three. Correct. Kind of. So think of like, you're listening to the radio, and you love JAMA 94. 5, okay? Yeah. It's great. And think of a radio station jamming 94. 5 as a straight line. And the enemy knows that you listen to 94. 5 and knows that you, love it. Love it. We're on it. We live, laugh, love it. We never stop listening. So instead, you hit scan you know in the car when you hit scan by accident all of a sudden it just goes, da da da da da. So think you hit scan and the channel scans and hops. So instead of the channels or the communications being a straight line, it zigzags, so they can't follow it. It's like a secret communication system. Think of it like that. Got it. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does. Okay, cool. You explained that very well. Cool. So she shares this information with her new friend, who is a composer and a pianist. His name is George Antheil. I think I say his last name wrong, and I kept trying to look it up to hear it, and I couldn't find it. So we're just gonna call him George. Georgie. Great. Georgie Porgie. Let's do it. So she goes to Georgie, because he was a friend, a confidant, thought his musical capabilities, and like, being able to read sheet music and shit, could like, assist in like, frequencies. I don't know. Would just be a good friend to like, go in this partnership with. Got it. And they decide to share it with the world. So they bring it to The actual National Inventors Council. Just on the side of a film. Sorry, the NIC. Yeah, naturally as we knew it was called. Our favorite acronym. They bring it to them and they're like, uh, no. What? Why? Bitches. I'm saying, it's giving like, the academy, like who the fuck's the academy? Who's on the National Inventors Council? Who is it? It's not Mark Cuban. He would bite. He would bite. So they basically were like, yeah, Hedy, invest your time in something else, which at the time she was going around the country and selling war bonds. Because she was kind of like a celebrity. Sure. So like, and I had to look up what that was because I didn't understand. She's hustling. Yeah, so they basically just use her to like go around and like flash her titties and like dance around on like platforms and be like, Buy war bonds, like give to your country, blah, blah, blah. And then people would like give money to support the war. Using the tatas for the troops. I love that. She'd be like dancing at like rallies and stuff on a pedestal. Fabulous. So they're basically like, it's giving like, go back to the kitchen. Like we don't need. No, they're like, no, we're good, thanks, go back to selling. Oh, ew. Yeah. Anyway, it's not the point. Now, it's early 1941, and the Inventors Council are like, okay, whatever. They introduce just George to this guy. His name's Samuel Stuart McEown. Stu, just kidding, but we'll call him Sam. He is the professor of electrical engineering at the Cali Institute of Technology right down the street and they go to him to consult on the electrical systems part of it to see if they can actually like get things moving and test out their theory and like see if it could work. So they wanted to see if it could be like a thing. Meanwhile, Hedy hires a Los Angeles legal firm to draft the application for the patent Which was granted to her as U. S. Patent mean 2, 292, 387. That's the patent, that's hers. Great job. On August 11th, 1942, under her legal name, Hedy Keisler Markey Sonoa was her. So she patented it herself. Love it. This invention would basically form the basis for all today's Wi Fi, GPS, and Bluetooth. Holy shit. They literally wouldn't have, we would not have these things without her, if she had not discovered that. Holy crap. And, like, worked with George on it. The amount, I mean, Wi Fi alone, obviously, but the amount that I use my GPS and my Bluetooth. Her. Damn. Isn't that crazy? That was like, I mean, obviously there was more to it, but like, that was high level, like how it came to be. Right. Like, we literally would not have those items without her. I mean, of course, someone probably would have figured it out eventually, but she is the She's the trailblazer. She's the OG. Yeah, she's an inventor. And to this day, she has never been Given credit. Acknowledged? Or given assent from anything that was created afterwards, like she didn't get any credit for having paved the way. Oh my god, what the fuck? Although, the US military has publicly acknowledged her, but that's simply not fucking enough, and it also took them years to realize it was her that thought of it first. Like, years. So annoying, like she was so ahead of her time without even realizing it. Yeah. What the fuck? So she just invents this and is like, yeah, that's fine. Patent. So that's like, if she didn't do that, though, like, she would have actually never been given any form of credit. Wow. Circling back on the husband situation. Yeah. Okay. Cause we're at two the last time I checked. Yes. Yes. We're, we've gone through two. I think there's four more. There's four fucking more and she has all of these for majority of the time that she's inventing and trying to sell it and patenting. So like Got it. Running through'em a bit. Yeah. So I'm assuming they're supportive, but also she just, I don't know her personally, but like I don't know what her vibes are to have four more, but she must be like, yeah, we're good. Like I know what I want and I'm gonna get it. Yeah. And if you're not it, then goodbye. So her third husband. Is this guy, Gene Markey. They are married for three years. He's a screenwriter, producer, he's in the business. They, at the time that they're married, she adopts a child. named James. We'll circle back to him. During her marriage with but throughout his life, the child's life she's like, he's not biologically related to me, he was adopted, he's not mine. However, years later, that son found documentation to show that he was the child out of wedlock of her and this guy, John. Okay. Who she marries next. So she had an affair with this guy, John, while she was married to Jean. So number two. To Jean, yes. And had. The baby. James. Yes, but it was John's child. It's John's. Got it. But I'm not sure what the vibes are with Jean here. Okay. Jean obviously knows it's not his, so she must have just like, she's like, oh, I adopted this child, but what, where, was she not pregnant for nine months? I'm just wondering what's happening. Like, how did, were we just okay with it? I don't know what Jean's vibes are. I couldn't find anything about it. But either way, they get divorced. And then she. Marries John. Mm hmm. She's married to John for four years. He's an actor. They have two more kids, a daughter named Denise and a son named Anthony. So she now has three children. They're technically all Johns. They're all jobs. Great. They get divorced. I don't know why. I don't know. I couldn't tell you why. It doesn't say. But she marries this guy named Ernest Stauffer. They are married for less than a year. He is a nightclub owner, restauranteur, band leader. They're just married for a hot minute. After that, she marries Howard Lee, who is a Texas oilman. Oh Lord. Different type for her, for sure. Good. Definitely like handyman. I didn't look him up, but like he's an oilman sis. Those union men, they're married. Take a cold shower. They're married for seven years. Okay. So, those union men, I'll tell ya. Oh, so seven's where the bar is. Got it, got it, got it, got it. For her, for her, we have two, three, less than a year. And then seven? Yeah, obviously, he was doing something right. Sure. I think she just needed a union guy, but that's just me. and then 1960, obviously, they get a divorce. And then she marries this guy, Lewis. Lewis has been her divorce lawyer. This entire time. No, she marries her divorce. Oh my God. She must be the most charming woman. Yes. Who's ever lived. Even your fucking divorce lawyer for your five firsts. I was like, all right, you've done the first five. I'll take them. I'm happily, happily going to take number six. I'm next in line. So that lasts two years. Oh. So, after her sixth and final divorce, she remains unmarried for the last 35 years of her life. Oh, wow. Yeah. And the 1970s was a decade of seclusion for her. She was offered so many scripts, television commercials, projects, but none really. Caught her interest, her eyesight starts to fail, and so she retreats from the public and settles in Miami in 1981. Welcome to Miami. Welcome to Miami. And in the last decades of her life in Miami, the phone, the telephone became her only means of communication with the outside world, including her kids, her friends, her family, everybody. She talked up to six and seven hours a day on the phone. Oh my god. That's so much time. but she didn't spend any time with actually, like, any people. But if your eyesight is failing you, and you don't live near anyone else, that actually would make a lot of sense. Yeah. That's how you stay connected with people. It's giving, it's giving Nana, I feel like Nana would have done that. Oh, I and Nana talk on the phone all the time. Never gossip. Just to check in. Oh my god, no. How are the kids? How's your neighbor's dog? We'll tell you about her dentist sons. Yeah, loved going get her hair cut. Her grandfather would, she didn't have her license, so our grandfather would drive her and she'd go get her hair fluffed. Sweetest lady on the planet. Queen shit. Woman of the phone. And you know it was one of the ones on the wall with the long string. We love a landline. And she's probably vacuuming. Oh, she can't, she can't see, but, you know. Oh, Hedy can't see, yeah. Hedy can't see. She probably invented the Roomba before it was a thing, so she could just have it vacuuming for her. Who the fuck knows what else she invented? I mean, yeah. so she falls off the grid. Very upsetting, to be honest. She did become estranged from her older son, James, that first one, when he was 12. So he's just like, no, it ain't it. Their relationship ends abruptly, I don't have any details as to why, but he moved in with a whole ass other family when he was 12. Ooh, yes. And they didn't speak again for 50 years. What the fuck? Yeah. Oh, she left him out of the will, when she died, and he sued for control of the estate that she left. No, you're not in the will! That's not how that works! I literally wrote the words, get a grip, question mark, on my notes, like, why the fuck? Yeah, that's literally not how the law works. Yeah, so, I mean, the other two siblings don't have any sort of issue with her, so like, I can't, I think it was a personal issue, it's giving, it's giving. Well, maybe he knew he was a bastard baby? Yeah, it was just like, F yeah. It seems like, look inward a little bit. We know them both personally and we just have to say, look inward. I can speak upon this, she's my best friend. but yeah, oh she's dead so now you want control of her money 50 years later? Fuck you, honestly. Yeah. Yeah. so Hedy passes away in Castleberry, Florida on January 19th, 2000 of heart disease and she was 85, so she lived a long life, it's okay. And her son Anthony, spread part of her ashes in Austria's Vienna Woods in accordance with her last wishes. So where she was from. Oh. And in 2014, a memorial to her was unveiled in Vienna's Central Cemetery where the rest of her ashes were buried. Wow. Some fun facts about her. Okay. I thought you would enjoy. Let's do this, just like tidbits. Yes. On August 27, 2019, an asteroid was named after her. So cool. Goals. Hedy was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 1960. The British drag queen, Foufou Lamar, took his surname from the actress. Oh, so cool. She also had, a habit of talking about herself in the third person. I read that somewhere. I thought that was really interesting. Hedy, Hedy would be like, Hedy needs to do X, Y, and Z. Isn't that iconic? I think it would drive me crazy, but I think if you're an icon, like if Oprah did it, I'd be like, okay, definitely Oprah, for sure. I just thought that was hilarious. But if you did it, I would be like, Colleen, knock it the fuck off. Should I start? No, please don't. Colleen has to pee. She was inducted into the National Inventors Hall of Fame for, her invention for the frequency hopping technology in 2014. And she's been named the mother of Wi Fi. Thanks, sis. Love you so much. That's actually in her notes. It says, thanks, sis, exclamation point, love you, just the letter U, SM, to Hetty. That's a note to self to say to Hedy for the record. It is 17 sizes bigger than the next line that comes after this. If you want to know what the next line was, it was this quote that I just like loved about her. Okay. She said, the brains of people are much more interesting than the looks, I would think. Oh, she also said she also said something else about husbands that I saw on my phone earlier that I'm gonna read to you. Okay. I'm ready I must quit marrying men who feel inferior to me somewhere There must be a man who could be my husband and not feel inferior. I need a superior inferior man Hang it in the mother fucking louvre. I'm saying brother. Holy shit. Yeah, there's like a whole list of her Most like any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid To be that pretty and be that smart that actually might have hurt her like it probably got her Famous and got her a lot of places cuz pretty privilege is a thing Yeah But she probably couldn't stand it a lot of times like Marilyn Monroe Marilyn Monroe was actually very smart Yeah. But everyone treated her like she was just some dumb, bimbo blonde. Always. And then she took roles that fed into that, but she actually wasn't a dumb blonde. No. She was. Do you know what Joan Carton always says? She was an icon. No, what'd she say? I never get offended when people call me a dumb blonde, because I know I'm not dumb, and I also know I'm not blonde. Fair. Queen J. Dolly. Queen Dolly. Queen Dolly. Wow, what a good story. The Mother of Wi Fi. And that is the story of the Mother of Wi Fi, Heavy Lamar. Wow, you learn something new every day. That's for sure. Yeah. Yeah. We talk about our work, that's why. I was like, actually, she's cool. She's that bitch. And who are your sources, please? the video on YouTube by Bailey Sirian, Wikipedia, and her own autobiography. Wow. Great job, Colleen. Lovely. Positive stories. Yay. Yeah. Let's do some positive stories. So I actually have a bunch because I was in the mood to do a bunch. And the Skimm posted six nice things that happened in February on their Instagram. Okay. So I'm gonna read those six. Gorgeous. Black woman won the economy. So it says, not only has new research shown that black women are the fastest growing group of entrepreneurs, but more black women are becoming homeowners, representing 27 percent of black home buyers. Fuck yeah. Women's health got a boost. First lady Jill Biden announced 100 million for life changing research and development into women's health. This is the first major deliverable of the White House initiative on women's health and research. Okay. Slay. This is for you. Researchers made headway on chronic fatigue syndrome. For the first time, a new study is providing clues about CFS, which is more likely to affect women, and scientists say the research is an important step towards uncovering what's causing the condition and could lead to potential treatments. Okay. So maybe we'd be less tired out here in these motherfucking streets. She just raises her hands to the sky. No, no words necessary. Just raises her hands to the sky. No notes. Like she's at church. Okay. Greece made LGBTQIA plus history. They became the first Orthodox Christian country to legalize same sex marriage. Okay. And it comes after decades of work by activists for marriage equality in the social conservative country. Pop off, Greece. Pop off, allies. Nuclear fusion scored a W. Please don't ask me to repeat this, okay? I'm just gonna say it once. I don't even know what that is. UK scientists set a nuclear fusion record, putting us closer to unleashing the limitless clean energy source. They sustained 69 megajoules, question mark, of fusion energy for 5 seconds, which means it 000 households using 0. 2 milligrams of fuel. Oh. And I will be accepting no further questions at this time. Okay. But it sounds cool. Okay. This is a Instagram story by the Today Show, and it says, I'm gonna cry, Oh Lord, a boy was in tears because he didn't have PJs for Pajamas Day, and his bus driver came to the rescue. School bus driver, Larry Farish Jr., recently noticed a little boy named Levi was having a rough morning. Such a cute name. Mhm. Quote, normally when I pull up, he's standing there waiting for me with a big smile, but on this day he was sitting on the ground with a jacket over his head. So the bus driver, who's 35 years old, I asked him, Hey buddy, what's going on? What's wrong? That's when the first grader explained, First grader. He's a first grader. That's when the first grader explained through tears that he didn't have pajamas for pajama day. I thought, I gotta fix this. Farris Jr. Said, after Farris Jr. Finished up his morning roots, he headed to a family dollar store and purchased two pairs of PE of pajamas for Levi. Then he headed over to Levi's school to make things right, quote. He was so excited. You should have seen how his face lit up. I'm upset Mr. Larry, as the kids call him. Turn Levi's whole day around. Quote, I can tell Mr. Larry is nice and his heart is filled with joy. Mr. Larry! That's what Levi said, and he goes, When he got me my pajamas, I did a happy cry. So, yeah. That's what Mr. Larry's up to. What the fuck have you done today other than, what did you say? Waking up gasping for air at 2am in the morning? Is Mr. Larry single? Mr. Larry's fucking hot, let me tell you. He is handsome. He is so hot. He's 35. Ladies, find him. It says, Farris Jr., who previously worked as a correctional officer and a truck driver, says he's found his calling. Quote, I've been driving buses for seven years. It's my passion because I get to build bonds with the children. I truly love every minute of it. He's an inspiration. Oh, Mr. Larry. How friggin nice are you? And I think that's the episode for the week. Gorgina, wipe your tears. Yeah, just You know, at least we giggled a lot. That was nice. I needed that. And now we're back in the pod room. We're together. Together again. All is well in the world. I think we need to do a trash episode next week though. Yeah, I agree. We've, we've done so much education. We've done so much true crime. I think we go back to our ratchet ass roots. And I think we, we give the people what they want. Slay. Are you ready? I'm down. All right. Let's go figure out what we're going to do. Okay. All right, everybody. Godspeed. Uh, have the best week. I hope everything is well. I hope you're surviving March wherever you are and that you have a good week. I second that. I second that notion. Bridget seconds that. Colleen says love you, mean it. Love you, mean it. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bridget: 1:24:46

This podcast was produced by me. Bridget, Shannon. Music is written and performed by Matt You can find his band super Stoker anywhere you listen to music.