Sippin' with the Shannons
Sippin' with the Shannons
Get Your Hidden Valley Outta Here
On this week's episode, Bridget held court at the Green Dragon and Colleen got harmonized at while eating free pizza. Then we get into the topic of the week... RURAL APPALACHIA. Colleen deep dives into the mysterious area of the US with their wild animals, creepy stories and the strange disappearance of Dennis Martin. You know it's not a Colleen episode without a missing person or creepy crawlers! This aint no Charlotte's web so give the witch her green beans and let Meemaw sleep!
Sources:
- Appalachia Mountain Mysteries of 4 Unexplained Stories - Donnie Laws
- The Disappearance of Dennis Martin - Wikipedia
- The Inbred Family - The Whittakers - Soft White Underbelly
- Wikipedia
Positive Stories:
- 98 Year Old War Veteran Receives High School Diploma - Tanksgoodnews
- 5 Year Old Boy Becomes Youngest Person to Receive Bionic Arm - Tanksgoodnews
Review and subscribe! You can find us on Instagram @Sippinwiththeshannons or send us your stories at Sippinwiththeshannons@gmail.com. Love you, mean it.
Pour me a glass of rosé, I'll make it a Chardonnay, Come on, we're sippin with the Shannons. Oh, if it's Riesling Rainbow or a Pinot Grigio, You know we're sippin with the Shannons. Good evening, foolish mortals. Oh,
Speaker 2:That's
Speaker:why I have
Speaker 2:to think about things beforehand. Are we on the haunted mansion?
Speaker:I wish. I wish. We're halfway there. More than halfway. To Halloween.
Speaker 2:You must be very excited. I
Speaker:am. I'm
Speaker 2:thrilled. How you doing? I'm alive. The sun is up. The sun is in my eye. It's actually quite nice. Should we get sunglasses? Or do you think we'd have new personalities if we did that? I think we should do it because we'll have new personalities. Okay. Maybe we'll be better for it. Okay, we'll be right back. Look at us, sunglasses on. We must make haste. Windows are open, sun is out. Ready to pussy pop for this podcast. My pussy's out and about. It always is. Yeah. And that's what we love about you. She can't be tame. She can't be put back in her cage. She must be lepre.
Speaker:Her flaps are flying. They're flying. The flaps are flying free. The flaps are flying
Speaker 2:free. And free we will be. What's up? Hi everyone. Oh, hey. Welcome to this week's episode of Sipping with the Shannons. We're cousins and each week we sit down, we sip on some wine, we talk some shit, and we have a good giggle. I'm Bridget Shannon.
Speaker:And I'm Colleen Shannon.
Speaker 2:Hey. Hey. What'd you do this weekend? Tell me about your life. My life? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My life's in shambles. Oh
Speaker:my god, we're both wearing Boston Bruins t shirts. We did not plan that. That could be a genetic thing.
Speaker 2:Me and Erin were talking about getting, really quick and we'll go back to your weekend, how your life is in shambles. Let's go. Because I did hear you say that and I do want to circle back on that topic. I was gaslighting you about that actually. I'm a fucking liar, so don't worry about it. Erin and I were talking about getting sister tattoos. Cause she randomly texted me and was like, want to get matching ones? And I was like okay. Slay. We were talking about different ones. I was like, we can't get a Shamrock one. We might as well get a cross with like, Shannon written in the middle. That's fair. It's so Boston. It's like, I might as well get the old school patriot symbol on my shoulder blade at that point.
Speaker:I that though. Get
Speaker 2:the fuck out of here, Colleen. I don't think you should get
Speaker:anything on your shoulder blade though. You don't think I should get a Celtic
Speaker 2:cross with Shannon in the middle of it? No. Next to all four fucking Boston sports with a trophy through this Celtic cross.
Speaker:You could be really doing something there. That could be like for the Louvre.
Speaker 2:Okay I'll design it and I'll let you all know.
Speaker:I do have a shamrock tattoo on my foot so watch yourself.
Speaker 2:I know you do. Don't you have a four leaf clover actually? Which is like sacrilege?
Speaker:I don't know what I have. It was just a poor decision.
Speaker 2:Are there four leaves or are there three?
Speaker:I don't know, let's look, shall we? Cause three is a
Speaker 2:shamrock and four is It's like a swirly swirl. Yes. Did that hurt? Cause it's like on the top of your foot so it's really bony.
Speaker:No.
Speaker 2:It didn't? Were you drunk? Yes. I fucking knew it. Yeah. Knew
Speaker:it. Lip one. He didn't either.
Speaker 2:The lip one, yes. The lip. One of my friends has a lip one and she was saying to me the other day, it's so funny how they tell you that will wear off and then it just doesn't. It just simply doesn't. Me and my
Speaker:dentist are the only ones. And you just have to
Speaker 2:keep telling every person who sees the inside of your mouth what's happening.
Speaker:Just mind your business, doctor. So what did you decide on?
Speaker 2:We haven't decided yet. I'll keep the people posted. We haven't decided. Okay, cool. That could be a fun vlog. Of me and Erin getting tattoos? Yeah. Okay. I'll think about it. That could be fun. Sure. Thanks. Okay, great. Why is your life in shambles? Why are you trying to gaslight me?
Speaker:It's not actually. It's literally not. Like, I was just fully lying to you.
Speaker 2:Okay, great. I was just trying to keep it interesting. That's all. Am I the drama? I don't think I'm the drama. I don't think I'm the drama. No,
Speaker:I am, in fact, not the drama.
Speaker 2:You are, in fact, the drama.
Speaker:Everybody else is. I went out on Saturday even though I told myself I wasn't going to because I have no funds. But yet here I am. I am, as you would say, burning. Both ends of the candlestick or whatever the fuck it is that you say. Yep, yep. And we, I went with that with the girlies and we did a little bippity boppity booing around. Great. We went to like five different bars. I did not speak to one man, I don't think, but I will say a man did approach me. He did not say hello. He looked at me with a dead serious face and said, fuck Mary Kill, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, or Theodore Roosevelt. That would work on
Speaker 2:me, honestly. And I,
Speaker:with legitimately out skipping a beat, was like, kill Theodore Roosevelt, marry Abraham Lincoln, and fuck the Jedi George Washington.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker:To say I fucked George Washington.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker:And he just walked away. And that was it. And we, I think we, That was it? I think he dapped me up and then we went our separate ways. You dapped? Yes. Because that's how I interact with men.
Speaker 2:Got it.
Speaker:But I just wanted to let you know that is in case that was the sole
Speaker 2:interaction you had with a man at a bar. Correct.
Speaker:Correct. Correct. Flash forward like two more hours. Aaron and I are left to our own devices. The squad has dwindled down to two.
Speaker 2:People were dropping like flies.
Speaker:Well, we did say goodbye peacefully and we had every intention of going home. So then we started to walk. I was like, Oh, I'm not dangerous. I'm not trying to pay for an Uber outside of this building because everyone's trying to leave at the same time. And I'm a cheap bitch and I'm just simply not doing that. So we started walking away and as we're crossing the street, we both go, I'm working late cause I'm a singer and without like 20 yards away, two men go cause I'm a singer and it was just like, Aaron goes, okay, where are we going? Just immediately. So. We ended up hanging out with them for a little while and then we just like used them for their pizza cause they ordered pizza so we followed them to the pizza place and then they were like, come back with us and hang out and we were like, yeah, sure. I think that's what happened. I don't really know. We ended up back there at their apartment and you know when like that one of the guys was wicked funny that nothing that came out of his mouth was serious and we just could not stop laughing. Like it was just like everything and he wasn't cringe. Like our cousin
Speaker 2:Tommy. It's,
Speaker:yeah, it's hard to find humor like that isn't annoying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker:And we were just, could not stop laughing. We didn't speak words, just wheezing. So we go back to their apartment, was the other one weird? No, the other one was fine. Funny you mention that when we were at the pizza place. I have
Speaker 2:Hard to shine when you have that as a best friend. But
Speaker:I also like, yes, correct. And I also don't know how to talk to men, like he literally said his name is Tommy and I go, that's my brother's name. Like why am I like that? Why am I fucking like, he's like, okay. Like great. Great. Shut up, Colleen. Anyways,
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't think it's that fucking weird. No, it's not, but it's just like,
Speaker:can't you just be fucking normal. Anyways, We sit at the pizza place and two of the friends had like gone away for a minute and one was wicked short, but I just like wasn't paying attention to him, whatever. And the funny friend came up to me and Aaron and was like, just letting you know, like, we do have another roommate. That's not 410. Just putting that out there. And I appreciated his honest, like we had said nothing about, we had met them three minutes ago. Like the fact that he already knew.
Speaker 2:Yeah. He was like, don't worry. I have other options for you. And then he goes, yeah,
Speaker:we have another roommate. He's actually a union man. I was like, I, and Aaron's like Colleen and I, he said something along the lines of like, he's either like Lyman or gas. And I just go ever source or national grid. And he looks at me and goes national grid. And I said, he wasn't home. It doesn't matter. But I just thought that was funny. That I was like, ever source or
Speaker 2:national grid. Well, you know what? Because for every crazy, funny, outgoing, extroverted friends. There's always a nice, quiet, lovely man. Yes. Who someone else is going to be interested in. Correct. While he's putting on a bit for the whole room,
Speaker:so, we continue on with Funny Man, Short Man, and My second brother, apparently. And so we proceed on with the pizza. We go back and you know when this guy's been making us laugh all night like just saying random shit and then he's like, oh, we're in a band. Obviously me
Speaker 2:and Aaron are like If he fucking whips out a guitar and sings Landslide for you right now, I'm gonna die. So
Speaker:me and Aaron are like dying laughing, thinking he's kidding. And then we get back, go to the living room and there we find two guitars. And I was like, no Aaron, these people are serious. These people are fucking dead serious. And so then I go to pick up one of the guitars and I start, like, strumming it and he's like, You never touch another man's piece or something like that. And I was like, we have found it. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2:We've gotta go. We've gotta abort mission. Before he sings Wonderwall, I have to leave. So Aaron's like, Aaron's
Speaker:like, so no, get the ranch. We need another slice. Get the ranch. They were Hidden Valley Ranch people. That makes me sick. What's your go to? Ken's, obviously. But get your fucking Hidden Valley out of here, you watery fucking sickos. So, they're whipping out, and I must have said it at least five times, I can't believe, Erin, that's Hidden Valley. Erin, they have Hidden Valley. They're probably like, what is the problem with Hidden Valley Ranch? Yeah, just
Speaker 2:have the fucking free pizza and the free condiments and shut the fuck up. Also,
Speaker:not for nothing, men lived in Squalor. There's pizza everywhere. Navy blue sheets, one pillow on each bed. I didn't look at any of the rooms, but I do remember walking by one of them going, I hope you don't live in that room. And I think he might have, so that was my bad. But it didn't matter. So we sit down and we're chomping away at the pizza, making conversation, he's making us laugh. And we proceed to continue on with the conversation about, The band. So we're like, he's like, yeah, we play at Hunter's, which is like a bar down the street. And he's like, we also play at Chapin's in the Cape sometimes. So we're like, Oh, so you can't be that bad. We can play at Chapin's. Chapin's is like a hotspot in the Cape. Right. And so then all of a sudden they just, without, just start. Colleen. I think they sang Stick Season and there was another one, but Aaron looked, as soon as a word came out of his mouth, Aaron was like, We have to go. Like we, it's time to go.
Speaker 2:Stop. How old are these people? I
Speaker:think they were like a year or two younger than us.
Speaker 2:So 25 ish.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker:24, 25. And so we were like, we simply must go.
Speaker 2:Nothing like harmony, harmonizing stick season.
Speaker:It's a really impressive one. And there was another one too. And then we're just like chomping on our pizza, minding our business. Every woman's worst nightmare. At one point I dropped the slice on the floor and the guy next to me goes, are you going to pick that up? And I was like, yes. But no. But no, but I did.
Speaker 2:Oh, I thought you were gonna eat it.
Speaker:No, I was gonna after that, but then I realized that's not something people should do.
Speaker 2:I'm so glad even in your drunken state, you understood the assignment. With two
Speaker:strange men singing fucking stick season to me. And then Erin's like, oh, we gotta get out of here. So she goes to the kitchen, fakes a call to our other friend and they're like on the phone talking because she happened to still be up and we had just separated from her. So she called her, we're giggling. And so she's like, go tell them, like, we have to go meet up with her. Yeah. So I go into the living room, like the good. Saint that I am. And I'm like, Oh my God, guys, she needs us. It's getting crazy. Like I make something up. We go. What time of night is this? Probably like two thirty three. And so then I go, he goes, follows me into the kitchen. She says, you're probably just like, check on Aaron. Meanwhile, I've left Aaron on her own devices. She's going through their pantry, eating their cookies.
Speaker 2:Good for you, Erin. Girls gotta eat.
Speaker:Oh, I took a bunch of emergency and put it in my purse because it was the immunity one. I did
Speaker 2:see that on my Snapchat three days later.
Speaker:You're the worst. And so Erin's on the phone and then I, he was like, Oh, like, Really, like, talking to the girl or whatever. And then he regurgitates what I had just said to him about the situation. And Aaron goes, no, that's not true. And I'm like, Aaron! So it was just like this whole thing eventually, they probably figured out that we had to go. And the last memory I have is me being like, at the door. And he left. That was all. And then I woke up the next day, sat outside in the sun. Fell asleep, snored, got a good burn, and then my friend Olivia had a surprise engagement situation and that was cool and fun and now I'm here and I'm really not miserable and I'm not in shambles but I'm okay and here I stand strong.
Speaker 2:Wow, it's so refreshing to hear you come in with a good story. You haven't had a lot of nights out recently with some tea.
Speaker:Yeah. I
Speaker 2:love it.
Speaker:Here I stand before you. Ah, what a dream. I peed in three different trash cans though, you would not like that I did that. What do you mean? Do you think? You know when girls go to the bathroom and I get really like guilty that like we're taking a long time so like I'll just like pee somewhere else while someone's peeing in the toilet. Like the trash can.
Speaker 2:Okay. You know what? We're not bickering on this episode. I made a rule because I almost killed us from editing because we bicker all the time. We're just so fun. And we're very sisterly so it makes sense and it's all in good fun. We're not doing it this episode. So you know what Colleen? You piss. Wherever the good lord gives you the vibe to piss, as long as it doesn't get you arrested, have yourself a goddamn time.
Speaker:The world is my toilet and piss I shall. This world sucks anyways.
Speaker 2:We're on a floating rock in the sky, it's on fire, and we're all gonna die. So you know what, Colleen? The earth's flat. Fucking bitch. Colleen. Nope. Nope. You wanna think the earth's flat?
Speaker:That's fine. I think Chellan would be ashamed. The jelly. Ferdinand. Why did you just whip up Ferdinand the jelly?
Speaker 2:You thought Ben Franklin was a president, but you're just gonna whip out Ferdinand. I stand by that. Oh my god, you're on one today. Wow, okay. Were any numbers exchanged? Like, is there any chance these men will be featured again, or is that a solid no?
Speaker:No. Of course not. But I was giggling because Anne was like, oh, did you get that man's number? I was like, I've never gotten any man's number. Ever. What? What do you mean? I was like, I don't know how to do that. Also, I didn't want it anyways. I didn't want it anyways. It's fine. I just was like, what?
Speaker 2:It was fun. It was flirty. You got free pizza. Watery ranch. It's all good.
Speaker:Yeah, it was fine. Fuck your Hidden Valley. How was your weekend?
Speaker 2:I actually had an awesome weekend.
Speaker:Did you drink awesome shooters? I mean, awesome beer? I couldn't. I'm sorry. I just had to.
Speaker 2:Ok, Janice Ian. I saw
Speaker:my opening and I had to take it. Thank you. Proceed. Such
Speaker 2:a bitch.
Speaker:The glasses, it's not
Speaker 2:me. This is the new personality. So this is your fault. That comes with the sunglasses, you're right, you're so right. You put them in my hand, you gave me the power. So I did have a kind of a tough week. But, it ended on Friday with me getting a new fridge. And my old one was leaking everywhere and I had a bowl just collecting the leaking. So, we got to finally throw the bowl out.
Speaker:Slay MacGyver, slay.
Speaker 2:MacGyvering everything in this apartment. No, got a new fridge. She's so cute. She's so fresh It's updated. It's nice. It's clean. I could it doesn't leak. I couldn't be happier
Speaker:say less
Speaker 2:adult things that make you excited in your 30s. New fridges. Yeah,
Speaker:that's, yeah, that's cool. Hey,
Speaker 2:you know how much pain the old fridge was causing me. I will
Speaker:first hand say that I just did see the fridge and the fridge is adorable. She's cute. You hugged her. Yeah, I kissed her. I'm not a hateful, I'm a hater.
Speaker 2:So, okay, so Saturday I text Leanne and we know we're gonna go out and I'm like, I'm really feeling a live band moment. Like, I'm just really feeling it. Not just dinner in the North End, which I love, which I did with my, I went out in the North End on Thursday with my friends from Red
Speaker:Sauce.
Speaker 2:I can I just tell you, I fucking love Red Sauce so much. I really do. Give me a meatball. Give me a sausage. Give me any type of pasta. Dude, give me a chicken parm.
Speaker:The heartburn, though. I don't care.
Speaker 2:I will suffer.
Speaker:What'd you get when you were there on Thursday?
Speaker 2:I got spaghetti. We went to Torrio
Speaker:Panino.
Speaker 2:Which is probably my favorite restaurant in the North End.
Speaker:Oh.
Speaker 2:It flips a lot, but that remains a solid, like I love She's consistent. Trattoria is consistent. If people were gonna come into town, I would bring them there. I love it there. We got some Cosmos. We caught up in all of our travel adventures, because I haven't seen them since It's Buenos Aires, so we caught up on all that, and I had spaghetti with red sauce and Italian sausage.
Speaker:Gorgeous.
Speaker 2:Absolutely delightful. Cosmos were on point. 10 out of 10.
Speaker:The Cosmos were Cosmo ing?
Speaker 2:So hard. But with Leanne on Saturday, I was like, I'm looking for a different vibe.
Speaker:Okay, and did, was it reciprocated?
Speaker 2:Oh, Leanne's always down. Leanne's great. I meant like, did
Speaker:it, did it pan out? Oh, for sure. Not on Leanne's end. I know Leanne's a down girl.
Speaker 2:I know, we've been out with Leanne a lot. So we go out, we start at the landing. It's the outdoor bar right by the aquarium.
Speaker:Yeah. Next to Tia's, kinda?
Speaker 2:Yes. Started there. So great. We get the last two chairs at the bar. It's absolutely packed. We got our own little spots. It's meant to be. We end up becoming best friends with this married couple, or they actually just got engaged, this engaged couple. They live in Salem, and I am looking into going to Albania soon, and he just so happens to be from the town that I plan to go to. Which is a random, it's not like the most popular. It's this random. I'm like, what are the odds of that? So We want to go to the next bar do you guys want to come with us so we traipse around and We end up at the Green Dragon, which is sneaky I love one of the best bars in Boston with some of the best live music like every Saturday night They have a cover band that is just chef's kiss does not disappoint We walk in, they buy us a round of drinks. When I tell you we held court in this bar, there was not a group in that bar we did not become friends with. Oh, group of men from Montreal, barely speak English, there to see, I think, the Celtics. Besties. Besties. A massive group, family on both sides for like an engaged, I think it was like an engagement party. Oh, fun. I'm talking sisters, cousins, I know the whole family, best friends, dance with them literally all night.
Speaker:As you should.
Speaker 2:A couple, they were doing, they were the cutest couple. They were doing a road trip through New England and while they were here, he proposed the day before and so when we became Instagram friends, I saw her first post was like her FaceTiming her family. So I was like, Oh my God, let me buy you drinks. Like, this is so exciting because their family wasn't there to celebrate with them. So I was like, we're going to. So we be friends with literally every human being in this bar. We were home by 1030 p. m. A dream for you. My absolute dream. We started at three. We were home by 10. the next day I woke up. Little to no hangover. Did brunch with my besties from college. And then went up and met with my best friends Jesse and Greg for a drink. And their little baby Sydney. And then came home and did like full face mask movie night hang.
Speaker:That sounds like your dream weekend. It
Speaker 2:was perfect. I have no notes. It had all of the elements that I like, and I didn't spend 5, 000. I didn't wake up with a bill the next day that you're like, Oh, my God, oh my God.
Speaker:Sounds like a dream.
Speaker 2:I barely have anything to tell you because. No notes. It was perfect. I did, however, wake up yesterday to 86 text messages, 82 of them. were from you or Erin.
Speaker:As it should be.
Speaker 2:In multiple messages, not just one. Like I had a personal one from Colleen, I had a group text of me, Erin, and Colleen, and then we have another group text. So it was all three were being utilized. I will not go into each topic, but the theme, the themes that were being talked about were breast milk, A woman hoarding dead animals on the street and pegging and so to wake up
Speaker:You're welcome and catch
Speaker 2:up on all of that all within 10 minutes was a lot and I enjoyed every second of it Okay, erin had a crazy thing happen to her the other day, and she told us we can share it. So we're gonna do it.
Speaker:Okay, she just texted us and goes an insane chain of events just happened in front of me. And I'm simply my share, obviously us excited.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker:Woman pulled over on the side of the road and I watched her get out of the car with a trash bag and give the sign of the cross, pick up the dead raccoon and put it in said bag. She then opened the trunk to her car. And the trunk was overflowing with other trash bags. This woman is hoarding roadkill. And then immediately as she closes her trunk, a squirrel then runs by her. And the guy going the other direction kills the squirrel right in front of her. And she started screaming. Aaron said it was very graphic, but honestly, the idea of this woman, a deeply unwell woman, doing the sign of the cross to prepare herself to put A dead coon in the car. And
Speaker 2:then watching an animal get violently murdered in the middle of the street moments later. And her acting like And Erin stopped at a red light with no other choice but to watch all of this unfold in front of her because there was traffic is a wild way to start a, what was it, Monday morning? Tuesday morning? That's insane. Crazy. Top of the morning to you,
Speaker:sister.
Speaker 2:Yeah I'm concerned for that woman. I also feel like it might be her
Speaker:calling. It might be a hobby for her. She
Speaker 2:clearly You know wants to save the animals and maybe she finds great peace and being the ones to take care of them and not leave Them in the middle of the road, but I was gonna say maybe it fills a void but like a trunk full like do you think she works for the city?
Speaker:No, I think they would give her a vehicle like some sort of DCR and not
Speaker 2:just like, you know Her Subaru. Her
Speaker:personal vehicle. Her
Speaker 2:Honda Civic. Roadkill. Bopping around the town, picking up roadkill. Yeah. Yeah. I also. That stuff. You, another thing you, so you keep speaking things into my existence. So I just want you to know that when you say things out loud, they start happening to me, like the jean jacket situation. Muckbang. What the fuck is muckbang and why is it all over my TikTok? Really? Mookbang? What is it?
Speaker:I think it's a mookbong.
Speaker 2:Mookbong. Mookbang. Everyone is eating. Why is everyone eating Wingstop? Oh no,
Speaker:that's ASMR. That's different. The Wingstop I listen
Speaker 2:to ASMR. This is not Wingstop
Speaker:and the crumble cookie is ASMR.
Speaker 2:It's also a lot of chilis. Question mark. Oh,
Speaker:the triple dipper?
Speaker 2:Yes. Oh my
Speaker:god, the triple dipper! The triple dipper! So good. Have you ever had one? So you
Speaker 2:started talking about that one day and my phone listened to you. And now every other video is someone eating wings. Sticking a massive chicken finger in a bottle of ranch and shoving it down the throat. I've never had
Speaker:Wingstop and I hate listening to them chew on it. It really freaks me out. I hate ASMR and I hate chewing like that.
Speaker 2:I made a stew earlier. And I was pouring it into the container. In the like slapping noise she was like, It
Speaker:was going like, It was sickening. Sickening. That is for
Speaker 2:sure your tism. Sickening the pipes down. I didn't even think of the noise. Oh my
Speaker:god, it was like
Speaker 2:Nails on
Speaker:a dropper. Brrp. You're gonna Chunky. Chunky. This is from coming from a girl that pukes almost every single day. That's true. Well
Speaker 2:you're also Chunky.
Speaker:Chunky.
Speaker 2:Your stomach does not react to things like a normal person. Oh,
Speaker:I would agree.
Speaker 2:You have a very light stomach. You could think about puking and go puke. Where I would have to physically force myself to get that reaction.
Speaker:Oh, yeah. If I open her wide enough, the floodgates are open. Bust that thing open, Shirley.
Speaker 2:Did you watch the new Netflix talk about the cold dancing? For the devil.
Speaker:No, because if it's tik tok related it gives me the ick so I won't watch it.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, Colleen Concerning.
Speaker:No, I don't want to know.
Speaker 2:So many concerning things are happening
Speaker:Ugh.
Speaker 2:And anyone who's watched it, the sisters, up on my For You page all of the time now and every time I'm like, oh I need an update You How is she doing? I've entered a dark place of
Speaker:TikTok shop.
Speaker 2:I get sold to every five seconds. I'm so sick and tired of it. I've purchased! I've purchased! Also, if you keep showing me how I can make money on Solitaire, eventually I'm gonna crack. Respectfully, you have enough
Speaker:time.
Speaker 2:So please, for the love of God, stop showing me how I can earn Solitaire cash, because I'm down bad. And I might have to.
Speaker:I mean, I'm just saying, do you? No judgment.
Speaker 2:One more thing, before I hand it back to you. Yeah? JLo. So we've talked about JLo a lot on this podcast. So she announced that she was doing a tour this summer and had to cancel it. And she's saying that it's to spend more time with her friends and families and everyone's like aka the lowest ticket sales of all time. And so I was, and I tried to find it today and I couldn't find it. I'll credit them if I find it again. These two girls, I think they're PR because they do this thing where they talk about someone who's flopping and they're like, how would you get them out of it? Okay. So, super smart. Like, so interesting. And they started talking about how she's in a flop era, like she's not doing so hot. People don't love her. People don't have great stories about her. Is putting
Speaker:it kindly. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 2:being nice. In one of them apparently said, I worked for ABC. I've interviewed and been around her multiple times. She's not my favorite.
Speaker:And that's
Speaker 2:all she said. So, JLo's team is now going after influencers who talk about her and reporting it to TikTok and making them take things down. And so, I'm not even kidding you, two Swipes later. I saw a follow up to that and it was like, well, we got the first one reposted, but it got taken down because her team, like, she sends out cease and desist letters.
Speaker:It's getting desperation.
Speaker 2:And one of them was like, my first piece of advice when we were joking about like how we would get her out of this was to stop going after the little guy. Like, let influencers talk about you. The more people who talk about you, it's brand awareness. Like they're just going to go, if someone says. You made up, you don't sing your music, which apparently one kid did, they sent him a letter of like, we will bring you to court if you don't answer within 72 hours and he didn't see it for a week. It was like fully sweating because J Lo, a multi millionaire is gonna bring some, kid who makes up conspiracy theories and like doesn't matter. Like, his theories don't matter. They hold no weight. But she's going after influencers now? I'm like, who on her team? What is happening, JLo? They
Speaker:don't have bigger fish to fry?
Speaker 2:And her and Ben might be getting a divorce? I'm like, girl. I'm
Speaker:exhausted by them. Take
Speaker 2:a minute. Just go into hiding, like the rest of them do, and wait it out.
Speaker:Get out of the Bronx also, they don't want you there anymore, apparently. Well, and then that's
Speaker 2:the other thing, she came out with her movie, and the movie made no sense, it was really fucking weird. Like, she is just batting 0 percent right now. She has not done anything good. Even her show up at the Met Gala. She was rude to people who asked her what she was wearing and then that went viral. It's
Speaker:just like, but for what? Like the audacity. No, she thinks
Speaker 2:she's above people. Be
Speaker:humble.
Speaker 2:She has no idea what that word means. I used to
Speaker:feel bad for her because like she didn't, she's always like right there and like never fully get, but now I don't care. Fuck you.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, especially with Hustlers, which was like such a great movie and she definitely deserves some sort of recognition or nomination and didn't get one. But then she does the Superbowl with Shakira and she's on top of the world. She's never looked better. You know what I mean? Her daughter comes out. I mean it was incredible. She should have just called it right there. I know, and just
Speaker:been happy.
Speaker 2:And then she made that TikTok where she like fusses up her hair and she's like, it just reminds me of me when I was a kid in the Bronx running around. And it's been all downhill from there. Oh yeah. And so that is my synopsis about my feelings on JLo. I'm a hard fucking pass. I am too. Be humble. Be kind to people. Be nice to people. If you are nice to people. You would not be falling so hard right now. People would come forward and be like, no, I've worked with her. She's great. So many people are like, yikes.
Speaker:Actually, while we're at it, while you're all hating on her, let me add to the hate. Yeah. No, actually. For real. But it's deserved. So sorry.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So she's got to get her shit together. Anyway, those are all the things that I have.
Speaker:I'ma get my shit together. I'ma make it through the weather. Derry girls. I only have a couple episodes left. Are you so sad? Yeah, I'm so sad I just watched the episode where Bill Clinton's coming and they're all quaking Yeah, sorry. It just didn't I different times? Yeah, it's crazy. And also the references to Robbie Williams
Speaker 2:I know right rolling take that.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah the band they go to see
Speaker:that's all I'll let you know my thoughts towards the end
Speaker 2:Sister Michael.
Speaker:Oh, yeah. She's a baddie
Speaker 2:So fucking funny. She's
Speaker:like, Oh, here we go again. These fucking bitches. I was dying when they went to go steal the sacred thing or whatever. They break it. And she comes out from like jujitsu and she's like, Oh, I thought someone was breaking in, but she's still in her hobbit. Abbott. Oh, I thought it was a hobbit. Hobbit is Lord of the Rings. Abbott. Sorry, sister.
Speaker 2:She's the funniest. She's my favorite part. But yeah, I mean, they're all so good. And you just love James.
Speaker:He's so cute. He's so sweet. I love that at least once an episode, they're like, Oh, it's like us and we're all girls. Basically a reference to all being like a lady group. And he's like, I'm a boy. And they're like, no, you're not.
Speaker 2:After the finale, we'll talk about it. Okay. What they say to James that made me weep.
Speaker:Stop. I'm so upset.
Speaker 2:I'm upset that it's ending for you because I wish I could watch it again from
Speaker:Scratch? Yeah. I love when he's like, the fucking British are so weird, or the the English are so weird. Or I mean, not British. The Irish. I'm not okay. Yes, you know what I meant.
Speaker 2:The Irish are so weird.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker 2:Cause I got a text message the other night where Colleen basically said, what's the beef with the Protestants and the Catholics? Anyway, I won't go into it. It's like a huge part of their history. I Googled it. Oh, it's split. I did Google it. Oh, you did? Yeah,
Speaker:I was curious. Oh, lovely. And I said, because I think Fiona's Protestant, so I was like, I texted her and I go, are you Protestant? She's like, why? I said, so what
Speaker 2:the fuck are you asking for? I go, so like,
Speaker:we're fucking fighting, dude. We don't like each other anymore. When you get home, it's on site. I'm sorry. We're thrown down. Because the Pope told me so.
Speaker 2:Because we said so.
Speaker:I almost texted you too because I guess I didn't take into account like what the timeline was Obviously, when I saw Bill, I was like, oh, okay, I get it now. When they were like, cease fire, I'm like, fire of what?
Speaker 2:Oh, honey. Yeah, I
Speaker:didn't, it didn't, it took me.
Speaker 2:Took you a minute.
Speaker:Took me a minute there, but.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's the 90s. Yep.
Speaker:I'm a 90s bitch,
Speaker 2:I don't
Speaker:care.
Speaker 2:I love it. I love it. I
Speaker:don't care. I've got a frog in the
Speaker 2:throat.
Speaker:Okay, cool. Hey, welcome back. We refilled our
Speaker 2:beverages. We have our wine. Sunglasses are still on, sun is still up, let's get it poppin it's a Colleen episode. God help us and pray for us. Let us pray. Am I gonna be scared? No. Is it a person who went missing who we've never seen again? Pfft. Is it? No, No,
Speaker:no. Yes and no. Colleen Margaret. No, I swear, there's more to it than that. It's not one thing, it's multiple things. Okay. Okay, so Bridget had asked me, like, you should just really do something, because, I'm always like, what this? What's that? I don't understand. So Bridget said A lot
Speaker 2:of people have those questions. Yeah,
Speaker:I know. I know. I'm a woman of the people.
Speaker 2:You are. If you are anything, it's that. A woman of the union workers and the people. My
Speaker:God.
Speaker 2:She's a blue collar bitch. The blue collar, the collar community, thanks you for your due diligence. I stand with you.
Speaker:You can't see me, but I'm putting a fist up. I see you. I see you and I love you. I stand with you. Also my creepiness has gotten so bad that the other day I was walking past someone at work who sometimes if we have a certain type of maintenance position like we'll outsource it like from a company instead of just like hiring someone to be in that position whatever and so I'm assuming it was probably like an electrician or a plumber of some sort and I walked past him and I thought to myself when I was 14 you worked in the fruit section at Shaw's and I worked at the service desk. Oh. And I was correct and I saw him two weeks later in a different place and I walked by him five times just To make sure
Speaker 2:and I was right But you don't remember sometimes what you did on Friday and then I
Speaker:passed him on hinge and I wanted to be like do you? Remember Shaw's in 2011,
Speaker 2:But do you know what I mean? Like, how do you remember? Something that happened in 2011, but you don't remember sometimes what you did on a Friday night
Speaker:I don't know. Maybe he just like left something in my soul
Speaker 2:Was it
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker 3:What was it? Collie?
Speaker:I don't know. When I was 14. I don't know when I had, that could have been engraved in my soul. The only thing I remember from Shaws when I was 14 is I accidentally gave someone an extra$1,200 from the service desk.
Speaker 2:1200. Oh, we talked about this. Yes. Sweating.
Speaker:But he was out there working in the fruit section, cutting up pineapples and shit. good for him, Brian. In some sort of union fashion. Actually, it was Local 103 I saw him on his hinge. But anyways. Not
Speaker 2:the point.
Speaker:Anywho, back to me. And, wait what, it sounds like a weather woman. And back to you! With the story and my story today. Well, I was thinking like, something I want to know about. And I was like, Ooh, the government. But then I was like, I'm not fucking read about the government. Jesus Christ. So then I stumbled upon rural Appalachia.
Speaker 2:In what fashion? Oh, we'll get into it. Oh, great. Oh, we'll get into that. Is it Appalachra?
Speaker:It's Appalachra.
Speaker 2:It's Appalachra. That's what I thought.
Speaker:That's what the Appalachians say on TikTok, so.
Speaker 2:Great.
Speaker:Speaking of which, I got most of my information today from Wikipedia, YouTube, and The Talk.
Speaker 2:Great. Do we have, like, exact You know what? We'll figure it out later.
Speaker:We'll figure it out later? There is a specific video from a specific guy. We'll link it. I don't know the name.
Speaker 2:Cool. So that's what we call sources. Yeah, we're Just saying.
Speaker:So, hey, listen, guys. There
Speaker 2:was a guy on YouTube.
Speaker:You're hearing my voice right now. This is what you're going to do. You're going to open up your phone and you're going to go to the bottom of what you're listening to and then click on that link and there you go. That's my source. And there it is. Thank you. Anywho. I'll
Speaker 2:make sure to post it.
Speaker:Yeah. So, what is rural Appalachia? You might be asking. Appalachia, specifically, is a specific part of the Appalachian Mountains in, the East Coast, like, not really. It's in, like, the middle. I don't really know how to explain it. Think of, like, if you cut the U. S. in half, and then you, like, look over to Boston, it's the area right in the middle.
Speaker 2:It's the middle between the
Speaker:East
Speaker 2:and
Speaker:the
Speaker 2:Midwest.
Speaker:Yeah. Like, in between. Yeah. I'm in betweeen. Anyways, it stretches from the Catskill Mountains in New York all the way down, like, into Pennsylvania. It goes through a bunch of other mountains, like the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Great Smoky Mountains, like, only you can protect forest fires, that guy. And into Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi. So it goes through, like, a whole lot of places, a whole lot of shit. It's crazy. My friend did it. Really? Yeah, the hike. Did the toenails fall off?
Speaker 2:No. But it was six months and she went with her boyfriend and they broke up on the trail.
Speaker:Oh! Woof. Yeah. Woof. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Do you
Speaker:proceed when you break up?
Speaker 2:Yeah, they were like, we just kept going.
Speaker:That sounds terrible, honestly. They
Speaker 2:didn't, it sounded amicable, it wasn't like this nasty breakup on the trail, but it just means that you spend every night in a tent with a person you're broken up with.
Speaker:You just decided that you were like, you couldn't have just held off?
Speaker 2:There was, I think there was two nights they treated themselves to a hotel and got separate rooms and got to like shower and bathe. Oh
Speaker:Good for them then. Treat yourself, dude. Anyway, please continue. But, we're talking about this big ol chunk of U. S. of A. Yeah. Little bit of history on Appalachia and why it's a thing, who lives there, how it came to be, all the shit. After the Revolutionary War. Yeah, that's a thing. Right? You just, yeah, you used,
Speaker 2:you used up space and history. And people fled on the
Speaker:wagons. Okay. Remember that? I remember it well. People fled. They fled in thousands. They were high on freedom. The war had ended and like a bunch of veterans were getting plots of land in various places. So they were like, here, you go there, you go here, you go there, whatever. They just literally pointed to a place on the map and was like you serve your country, off you go, you can have it. So off they go, they are moving over to the good old Appalachia area and they joined the already Mountain people that were already living there, so they were just like, Ooh, who the fuck are you?
Speaker 2:Also, I'm assuming indigenous people are there. We just don't care.
Speaker:So, so here's the thing. They've already been pushed out.
Speaker 2:Great.
Speaker:Which we don't love. We don't. We don't. It's awful. But at this point in the timeline, We've already murdered and bamboozled
Speaker 2:and We've already fucked their Led astray. We've
Speaker:already fucked their shit up. Yeah. So they're,
Speaker 2:yeah. So it's Appalachian quote unquote people.
Speaker:Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Like people. Not like, native. Tribes. Tribes. Thank you.
Speaker 2:Mamadula. You're welcome. Mamadula you are. That's also not a You know what? You are. What do you mean by that? You're like the other half of my brain. Do you know you're saying that? That's not a word. Madula? Yeah it is. I
Speaker:swear to god it's madula. Look it up. Oh. I dare you. Fuck. I dare you. Do you think people understand what I mean?
Speaker 2:I think if they listen and they heard us talk about it in the last one, because we were talking about sociopaths and you were saying, we were talking about the brain and you said medulla. So I think they knew you meant that because I think I said like frontal lobe Oh, so we were on the same wavelength. So I think people got it.
Speaker:Thank you so much people
Speaker 2:We're learning a lot already. See this is what this podcast is all about.
Speaker:Oh My god, good lord Anywho, we're floodin in, okay? We're comin from the East Coast, we have, the war is over, we're all happy, we're spreadin across the country. And, when they got there and they were like, who the fuck are you? These people were extremely mysterious and very much backwards to our East Coast brethren, okay? They knew very little about these quote unquote mountain people, and that they were, all they knew about them was that they were wicked poor, drank a lot of whiskey, and they had way too many children.
Speaker 2:Okay, great. Cool. Check check.
Speaker:Yeah, and they didn't really know about them because, like, hello, they were off the grid. So, like, when you're entering this new place, like, you're like, who the fuck actually are you? Yeah, you're strutting up, like, squeeze
Speaker 2:me?
Speaker:Yeah, you haven't sent a smoke signal recently. Like, who
Speaker 2:the fuck We haven't even heard from you. What the fuck have you been during this whole ass war? There's
Speaker:no deed to this land for you. Where did you just decide? Like, it's just a whole thing. Right. Anyways, the way that they created a living and what was popping off at the time was coal. They were really big into coal mining, all of that shit was their bread and butter. There was coal fields everywhere in central Appalachia. Lots of railways so they could get it out. That's how they, their business was booming. They, the mines itself employed thousands and thousands of people. And at any point in time in the entire country, two thirds of the nation's coal supply, which at this time, obviously it's all fucking coal. It's all we're using. We don't have gas stoves or anything. Like we're just, we're calling it out, that's how we cook it
Speaker 2:and stuff. Calling it out. We're
Speaker:calling it out. So they're providing all of the coal in the country is coming basically from Appalachia.
Speaker 2:A lot of mining, a lot of Which mining? Dangerous! Yeah, wicked dangerous. The shit they inhaled. Woof! Not to mention, the dangers of the actual job itself, but the inhaling.
Speaker:Do you think that they had workman's comp?
Speaker 2:No, Colleen, I don't. I'm gonna
Speaker:go out on a limb here and agree with that statement. I don't think they
Speaker 2:had 401ks. I don't think they had PTO.
Speaker:But you know, although the coal was booming, it was also inconsistent, so it'd be booming at one minute, and the next minute it wouldn't be, and then it gets worse and worse, and it gets really inconsistent, and then the Great Depression hits, and no one needs coal anymore because no one can afford coal. It's a whole fucking thing. So because of this, it's, we got poverty. We're back in poverty. Again.
Speaker 2:Isn't it one of the poorest areas in the country? Correct. Okay.
Speaker:Correct. Shit really hits the fan at this moment when all of this starts going awry. The middle class people that could afford to live somewhere else get the fuck out of there. So the only people that are left are like.
Speaker 2:The people who can't afford it. Who can't afford it. So the poor.
Speaker:Yes, correct. Or people that are wicked rich that are like, yeah, I'm chilling here. Maybe they own like a business or something. Right. Right. I have my
Speaker 2:setup. What's the point?
Speaker:Yep. So that's very far and few in between. But everyone else. So top and
Speaker 2:bottom, everyone in the middle is gone.
Speaker:Yes. They're literally living in the dirt. Like, it's giving squalor,
Speaker 2:it's
Speaker:giving squalor.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker:But we're on the up and up.
Speaker 2:OK.
Speaker:Because.
Speaker 2:Love this.
Speaker:After this cycle of poverty hits, the 1960s comes about. So the Great Depression was in the thirties, right? So like 30 years later. So there it's it takes a while, but it does happen. Our guy, President John F. Kennedy. Oh, there he is. Yeah, he visits and he's like, holy shit is not good here. He's like, this is not the vibe. We must fix this. He
Speaker 2:preys on it because he's Irish Catholic. He's like, do a bunch of Hail Marys and Our Fathers.
Speaker:You'll be fine. And then they'll be slang again. That's all. He proposes this formation of this thing called the Appalachian Regional Commission. Basically, long story short, I did read about it but it was too many words. It basically was a plan to boost their economy and give people jobs and get them on the map. That's all that matters.
Speaker 2:Okay, that sounds like a great plan in theory.
Speaker:Time goes by, it now becomes a haven for hikers and travelers because it has all this beautiful untouched greenery and all that shit. I don't know. Greenery? Mountains. Things that people who like nature love. I was
Speaker 2:gonna say, tell me you're from a city without telling me you're
Speaker:from a city. Bugs and dirt. Like, people are loving it. It's untouched. It's gorgeous. It's big. It's robust. Got it. Isn't that the word people use to describe food? I don't know why I just used that. Robust. No. Like, I feel like I've heard someone say, like, a robust sauce. Sure. Whatever. The people who inhabit Appalachia now, they are, have been there forever. Usually majority, it's like a family thing. So it's like generations on generations. They're there. They have not left. People ain't leaving Appalachia. They're super superstitious. They are big on tradition. They're very spiritual for the most part. It's so different. Their rules just like really don't apply. They don't give a fuck about the outside world. They just don't care. It
Speaker 2:Sounds nice. Dare I say to be so off the map. I mean, I guess
Speaker:I Guess they're just they're so self sufficient off the grid that they just don't care about Materialistic things they don't care about right people. They're just vibing on their hundreds and hundreds of acres of land.
Speaker 2:I Think I would enjoy it for about a week.
Speaker:Yeah,
Speaker 2:I think I would be like wow relaxation nature off the grid
Speaker:Ooh, but where the fuck is there a cell tower?
Speaker 2:Where is Pizzeria Regina's? I did not sign up for this.
Speaker:Where is the wine? You just know they don't have DoorDash.
Speaker 2:You know they don't have DoorDash. And that's just not
Speaker:something that I'm into. I will say I was watching a clip of a video on the YouTube. That is linked below. And I was like, wait, there's literally no traffic. There's no other cars on the road. Yes,
Speaker 2:but. But what? The debate is, would you rather. Travel for an hour with no traffic either way. Right, so no matter what you do, it's gonna be an hour. Okay. Or, would you rather travel, sometimes it's an hour because of traffic, and other times it's 20 minutes?
Speaker:No, I'd rather fly.
Speaker 2:You'd rather just go like 85 down a highway and fly? Oh, fuck
Speaker:yeah. Window down, music blasting. I
Speaker 2:personally would rather do the same, because I used to sit in traffic for over an hour for five miles, and it used to send my blood pressure. Through the roof. Like I don't know how you do it every day. It stresses me out so badly and I don't even have road rage It's just I hate sitting there. So I would rather be on the move. I hate back roads. I want to be on a highway I want the most direct route not the fastest if that makes sense.
Speaker:That's fair That's a fair statement.
Speaker 2:Anyway,
Speaker:I'd rather fly personally. Yeah fair run everybody over us. Excuse me, actually I got really annoyed the other day, left work, and, where I parked outside of my work, my second job, not my Monday through Friday, just FYI, not that you care, but I parallel parked outside, and when I went to go leave, there was no one in front of me really, but I was close to like the sidewalk, so it was like I could have, to be fair, I could have just pulled out, but I also have terrible depth perception. And I went to go back up just to like give myself some more room. And I back up. I have a backup camera. I have literally never hit anybody. Ever. Because I have terrible depth perception. So I'm always overly cautious. If anything, I overcompensate. So I back up literally an inch. And the girl behind me just holds down her horn. Not a It was a Just held it down to the point where I, and I had my mirror on myself, not in the back, because I had been looking at myself before I got out of the car. And I was like, I actually was like, what? And I froze and I looked up and I looked at her and she's so disgusted. She's literally like, and she's a young girl, like my age. And I go, and then I go I'm going. And she literally is just holding the horn. So I put it in reverse again and I kept going because I was like fuck you actually I'm not gonna hit you But you can shit your pants in your seat. I was so pissed I was so irrationally angry that this dumb bitch thought I was gonna hit her
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think people abuse I very rarely honk and she's looking like
Speaker:this
Speaker 2:She's making a disgusting
Speaker:face
Speaker 2:And holding up her hands like what?
Speaker:Exactly. That's the perfect. That's the perfect sound for it. So I kept backing that ass up. I don't care. I ain't gonna hate you. That was my road rage of the day. So people are just slaying off land. They're out here farming. They're out here like doing shit with soil and Growing crops and doing whatever it is that they're doing and they're happy. They're content They're just chilling But on the other hand the people that have lived there and also lived there forever also know that rural Appalachia brings a darker and more Mysterious energy. I knew
Speaker 2:this was gonna get spooky. I was like, there's no way this is a history of Appalachia there's simply no fucking way that this isn't about the hearing the voices and if You hear someone imitating, or yelling your name, you have to run, like wha I knew this was gonna turn in some sort of way. I can't wait for the missing person. Who goes missing, Colleen?
Speaker:It takes a turn for the best. So you know, the thing about rural Appalachia, people go missing, people get killed, the mountains really play with your mind there.
Speaker 2:Ooh, sorry, you were waiting for a reaction. Ooh.
Speaker:There is an unsaid set of rules there that they all live by that just like, they just go about their everyday lives and they just live that way. And it's just, if you go there you must abide to the rules as well or else.
Speaker 2:I will say the story is best told with your sunglasses on that are the size of your whole face. I do think it adds to the spookiness.
Speaker:Thank you. I
Speaker 2:support this message.
Speaker:I mean, it's really not spooky, it's just like creepy that there's a, just a place in this world. I mean, people
Speaker 2:just like going whole ass missing and getting murdered by voices is a little spooky. It's
Speaker:crazy. It's so crazy. It's crazy. It is. And people are just like, yeah, that's it, that's my homeland. It just, it be like that, it's been like that for years. What? That's it. Can we get some sage or something? God. Anyways, the rules at, er, the rules here apply. Yeah, tell us about Appalachian rules. Never be in the woods from dusk till dawn. Oh, okay. I don't want to be anyway, so that's an easy one. Never leave the marked trail. It's marked off for a reason. Okay. If you hear voices close to you, they're actually far away. If the voices are far away, they're actually a lot more near. Which doesn't make any sense, but whatever. Wait, say that one again? If you hear the voices and they're far away, they're actually very Close to you? Very near. Closer than you think. Got it. And if the voices are saying your name, do not answer them. Don't. Okay. Do not whistle or sing in the woods, ever. Oh, I would be
Speaker 2:immediately murdered. And never look too hard into
Speaker:the trees. You might not like what those are the rules.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker:If you do go out and about alone, too. Great. Those are the rules. Cool. I watched a few videos, both on YouTube and on TikTok, and let me tell you, I have no idea what the fucking people are saying. The locals.
Speaker 2:The accent is too thick. I have
Speaker:not a fucking clue. A hoot and a holler? I have no fucking idea what we're talking about. One thing I can tell you is I'm not visiting. I'm not going. I'm good. I'll stay here.
Speaker 2:That's very interesting because usually you hear these stories and you're always the one who says, we should go see it. We should go do that. We should X, Y, and Z.
Speaker:Something about it. It's just the outdoorsyness. The bugs. I'm not here for it.
Speaker 2:We'll go to any haunted house. We'll do anything. Anything during spooky season but won't go to nature because it's
Speaker:too buggy. Even if it's haunted, nature is not for me. It's just not. That's incredible. I simply won't be visiting and let me tell you I mean, fair. I don't want
Speaker 2:to visit either and I don't even know anything about it.
Speaker:Not only are there a lot of spooky happenings and like spooky vibes, there are fucking insane animals that come out of there that you wouldn't think of that should not be there. Like what? Okay. Insane animals. There is You know what I hate? Creepy,
Speaker 2:crawly things.
Speaker:Okay, no, it's not that creepy. It's just like, wait a minute, that doesn't make any fucking sense. Because it's so dense, there's so much it's like the ocean in a way where it's like, a lot of things are untouched, and like, we don't really know, but like, we do know, but it's so dense that it's just hard to explore. Okay. There's a lot of wildlife, like the typical wildlife. You got your moose, your bear, your deer, your raccoons, all that shit. But then there's a couple that are off. Including black panthers? Question mark?
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker:Black panthers only live in hot, tropical rainforests. Like, they're in Asia, they're in southwestern China, Burma, Nepal. I only know what Burma is because of Four Christmases. Southern India and like, Indonesia and that part. Right?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yep,
Speaker:so they should not be in this country at all. Sure. So that's crazy. Okay, that's a good one. I have read through multiple different sightings that have people saying that just straight up was a black panther. There's no if and or buts about it. There's no other, there's literally no, nothing else it could be. It's pretty straightforward. One story about a sighting I got from Reddit was crazy and here it is. My boyfriend was born and raised on Jellicoe mountain in Jellicoe, Tennessee. As with his family for several generations, his dad had a story that he shared before he passed last year and it's definitely scary AF. He was hunting with a friend when he, I just spit, when he was a young man and they heard their dogs get after a coon. Y'all all know. That deep bang sound they make when they tree a coon. And that's
Speaker 2:raccoon, right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker:So they heard it and they start hot footing it. Isn't this crazy?
Speaker 2:That's wild.
Speaker:Okay. Hot footing it. I like her verbiage so far. And they start running, hot footing it, up the mountain when all of a sudden these dogs start absolutely screaming. They follow the sound and they come up on a gigantic black panther ripping these dogs apart. It's wild. One dog was already dead, another was injured and trying to crawl away, and the panther was in the process of mauling the last one. They immediately fired their gun at the panther, and for a minute it acted like it was going to charge, so they fired again and shot it this time. It ran away, and so did they. They had to come back the next day for the dogs, because obviously the guy refused to leave without his dogs to rot, obviously. God, I would take on a panther for Spencer. They were his pets, not just his coonhounds, okay?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker:But anyway, when they came back, they brought six other people with them, all armed with guns, but they didn't find the panther. Two of the dogs were still there, but they never found the third dog. It had been dragged off. There were huge panther tracks all around the area, along with blood from the dogs, so it confirmed that they weren't just imagining what they saw.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker:They wrapped the dogs in tarps and dragged them home, blah, blah, blah, and yes, they were absolutely positive that it was solid black, and they seemed way larger than a regular panther should be. And after reading all of these, it said that zoologists have said many times that these cats are literally a myth and they simply do not exist in Appalachia. Yeah, like they don't understand
Speaker 2:why They should
Speaker:be in Asia! That's fucking crazy!
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is crazy. You're 100 percent right.
Speaker:Okay, cool. Thanks. You're welcome. Another one? Monkeys and apes. Sorry. What the fuck? Howling. They hear monkey You have to look up rural Appalachia sounds. I've heard a howling monkey in Belize. Scariest thing I've ever heard. Imagine you're just going for a little cruise at night and you're just like hearing like, ROAR!
Speaker 2:Yeah, they are pretty jarring. They
Speaker:are screaming.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker:Howling. And obviously people go crazy with this and they're like, I saw a monkey. No, it wasn't a monkey. Like, it was a devil monkey. And then they get in the whole like, spiritual part of it. It's a whole thing. It's similar to be like if you saw a bear and then you turn it into Sasquatch. Like, it's like that. Okay. It's like, no, you saw a bear. Right. Also, I saw this thing from Reddit that was, they wrote, I went to a funeral there once, met a man that bred and raised half wolf dog hybrids for sale. I have questions. The fuck? That's the type of people that are like, Oh, I got a half dog, half, half wolf for sale. How the
Speaker 2:fuck does that happen? I mean,
Speaker:Do you know how babies are made?
Speaker 2:Yeah, but some species aren't meant to cross. Oh, apparently it's working. I mean, I guess dogs and wolves aren't that too far. I think they have the same genetic makeup, no? Yeah, they must be on the same, good lord.
Speaker:Okay, continue. This girl on Reddit said, My dad was a coal property surveyor in the 70s and 80s and has a variety of excellent stories from across Appalachia and the surrounding coal country. While at the bottom of a ravine, he felt some dirt and gravel hit his head. When he looked up, he saw a huge black creature with massive horns standing above him. Turns out It was an Iberian Ibex that survived a canned hunt facility. What the fuck is that? That is this. They are extinct. And if they do exist It looks like They are in Portugal. And only Portugal.
Speaker 2:They look almost like a deer.
Speaker:It's a form of goat, I believe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was just gonna say, because of the horns, it looks like a goat and a deer had a baby.
Speaker:They are in Portugal and Portugal only. Why the fuck are they in rural Appalachia? Appalachia.
Speaker 2:That's insane.
Speaker:There was also reportedly a zebra with the same fate in the area. Get the fuck out of here. Do you know what that means though? A canned hunt facility? I had to look it up. No. Basically, fucking crazy hunters, people, acquire animals like this. And they put them in a smaller section of land so that way the hunt is more gratifying for them.
Speaker 2:I absolutely fucking hate that.
Speaker:Isn't that crazy? I
Speaker 2:hate that. So
Speaker:that animal has escaped and that's how I hate
Speaker 2:that. Let animals just live where they're supposed to live.
Speaker:Instead we're planning them in a four by four.
Speaker 2:So you can hunt them so it's more satisfying for you so you don't have to try as hard.
Speaker:Yes. And it's like rare animals. Also, I watched a movie about that once, but it was humans instead.
Speaker 2:Was it squid games? No, it was called The Hunt. Oh, gotcha.
Speaker:There's also feral pigs. And no, that's not a nickname for me and the girls. Stop talking about us! That's not a nickname for me and the girls. There is feral pigs out there. The way that we said that at the same time.
Speaker 2:Feral pigs.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker 2:Oh, feral pigs. There they are. People visit pigs when they go to the Bahamas. And it never looks fun. Because they swim in the water. But they did it on an episode of The Bachelor one time. And all the girls were losing their shit. And they were getting chased after. And it does not look like this fun little swim with the pigs.
Speaker:I would feel safe. Like, pigs in the wild? No thanks. This ain't no Charlotte's Web.
Speaker 2:This is not Charlotte's Web. That's a feral pig.
Speaker:Those are feral pigs.
Speaker 2:Looks like a warthog.
Speaker:Yeah, it's giving Pumbaa. It's giving Pumbaa. For sure. And they're very fucking loud. Very loud.
Speaker 2:They're loud?
Speaker:Yeah, they're like, But they're like, But it's like a growl. It's like a growl. I loved it. Please continue. It is just, it's deeply upsetting. To finish it off, I have This one person at the bottom of this Reddit thread wrote, I'm a wildlife biologist and I've spent a ton of time in the woods in the Appalachia all night by myself. By far the scariest thing I've encountered in these types of situations is meth heads. Period.
Speaker 2:Okay. Fair
Speaker:enough. And that's the thing. Do you know
Speaker 2:what? That's fair. That is totally fair. That tracks.
Speaker:Sidebar. Have you ever seen any of the soft white underbelly videos on YouTube?
Speaker 2:No. I think we're on different YouTubes. Okay,
Speaker:so this guy goes around, it's called Soft White Underbelly, and he has one on one interviews, and like, but they're really well done, with like, it's not like you sit down and you're asking them questions, it's like black and white, and it's, People in various forms of their lives, like, it would be, you'd go to New York and maybe find a prostitute off the corner and like, I have actual conversations with them and just be like, I just want to understand your life, like, things like that. There's hundreds and hundreds of them in all various walks of life. Yeah. And there is a family, you know the Whitakers? Yeah. Yeah, that he interviews them and it's, I'm not saying, it's such a good interview, but it's like, it is absolutely insane.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker:The shit that goes on there. Obviously, that's in rural Appalachia, but he does check in on them every once in a while I did follow up with those videos, but the Whitakers are very upsetting It's crazy that's gone on for so many years and then it's just like a okay Will you
Speaker 2:tell people who don't know who they are?
Speaker:Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. My bad I just assume that I'm just talking to Bridget sometimes The Whitakers are like an extremely inbred family that live in West Virginia, right along the lines of the Appalachia. And they just basically live in like a shack. I don't know really how it happened or occurred and there's just like dogs everywhere. They like live in squalor. It's not great. It's very upsetting to watch. They're just, they can't really communicate. They're obviously really low level of education. They're just not well. And it's upsetting to watch, so it's like a full video of them like, they get like a house tour and like, they interview them. Explaining
Speaker 2:how they live and But they can't
Speaker:really even do so, like they really can't. They can't. And it's just like, it's very jarring. And that gives you like a good idea of what really goes on. Honestly.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker:In the rural areas. No fucking rules. Absolutely no rules. At all.
Speaker 2:I think it's the lowest education in the country as well.
Speaker:Oh, a hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. But I would say, I mean, it's probably upsetting for people, but I would definitely give it a watch. It's probably not like anything you've ever seen before if you haven't seen it already. And with that being said, there's also the idea of feral people that live in Appalachia. Although there's no proof, but like people have said they've seen things and like it would make sense because it's so untouched and there's so many places that people haven't been to or explored, they're like very confident that there are feral people just living.
Speaker 2:So it's so off the grid that there isn't a chance that there are people who have lost their minds.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And live.
Speaker:Have literally never seen like civilization really.
Speaker 2:That's so crazy. That's not that far away from here. Like, that is a quick plane ride.
Speaker:No.
Speaker 2:Car ride if you wanted to.
Speaker:Just fully live off the land and do not see the human race. Just in the woods. Ever. Good lord. Which brings me to, oh boy. Here we go. The tale of Dennis Martin. Who dies? No one. So, Dennis Martin is a six year old. Oh, no. Yeah, this is Dennis, just for reference. No, am I gonna laugh? No, he's so cute. He is so cute. He's actually from Knoxville, Tennessee. And he, at the time of this story, is visiting the Great Smoky Mountains with his father, his grandfather, and his older brother. And it's Father's Day weekend. So it's It's June of 1969. The camping trip that they're on right now is a tradition. They go every single Father's Day weekend since forever.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker:They hike to Cades Cove to Russell Field, which is an area of the Appalachian Mountains, and they camped overnight, and I think they're on like day like, probably like three of their camping trip. Wow,
Speaker 2:with a six year old. That's
Speaker:crazy.
Speaker 2:I can't even imagine. I mean, I'm assuming because they do it all the time, they're like, yeah, this is no big deal. Of course we're going to bring him. But. That's so outside my comfort zone, I can't even imagine that.
Speaker:No, I would say that they've probably done it at least four to five years by now. Yeah. I don't know how generational this tradition went, I have no idea. So they get it. They probably are regulars,
Speaker 2:right.
Speaker:The next day they hike to this area called Spence Field. It's also near the actual Appalachian Trail where they plan to spend their next night. So while they're fucking around and just like hanging about on the trail, the children decide we're gonna scare the adults. Like we wanna sneak up on them and we wanna scare them.
Speaker 2:Okay. Okay. Sounds fun.
Speaker:So, they're also, important to note that they're also with another family that with other children on this trip. So, they like, Okay. Jointed up. Squadin up. So, they go their kind of separate ways. Say, for example, how I would understand it to be is, say right now, here are the adults, they're in a little circle, having a little convo. The children are over here and they all spread up and spread out and go various ways. Like this. So one takes a push over here, one takes, all from different viewpoints, and they can all see the parents.
Speaker 2:Okay, so the parents are in the middle, to explain what you just did with your hands.
Speaker:Say, if we're looking at a compass, the parents are in the middle, one's north, one's south, one's east, one's west.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're spread in a circle, like a clock.
Speaker:Makes sense?
Speaker 2:Yes. Cool.
Speaker:Mind you, the parents are like, we know, like, we know what's going on. Like, you don't get one over on your parents, like, ever. It's so
Speaker 2:funny how when you're a kid, you think you're smarter than them, and they're like, we did 5, 000 times worse things than what you're doing right now.
Speaker:Yeah, 100%. You want to scare me? Go right ahead. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I have you. I'm plenty scared already.
Speaker:We were all scared. There's
Speaker 2:nothing you could do to me at this point.
Speaker:So, Dennis dad sees him clear his day, like, in the bush. It's less than 50 feet. And it's just like, haha, yeah, this is hilarious. Like, turns his back to, like, let him, get a fast foot over on him, whatever. And so they all of the children come out and they're all like, Haha, boo, whatever, stupid. But Dennis does not. Dennis does not come out of the bush.
Speaker 2:So he was in the bush one minute, now he's gone.
Speaker:So he's like, Dennis! No answer. And for five minutes, they're Dennis! Like, they give him a couple minutes, and then they start looking for him, and they're like, what the fuck? And when he realizes that literally all of the children have returned except for him, He really starts searching for him, and he runs down the trail for nearly two miles until he's like, I can't go any farther, I don't know where he could be. So they search for several hours, they're all screaming his name, and then they finally call the National Park Service Rangers. They call him in, they also start looking, they join the search, there's nothing else they can do but search. But a huge downpour breaks out. No! So right after he disappears, and Over three inches of rain hits in like an hour and they wash out all the trails and I was gonna say
Speaker 2:They can't track him anywhere. Yeah,
Speaker:everything's going to shit. They if there was footprints there are none All the amount of people in this search is it's like over like 1, 500 people come in to search
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker:They bring in The I think they called the Green Berets. The National Guard a bunch of town officials everyone from the town surrounding towns All of law enforcement for like miles and miles and they even bring in Boy Scouts. Oh, wow. Boy Scouts are out here searching. I read on Wikipedia that they covered over 56 miles of land.
Speaker 2:Holy crap.
Speaker:Mind you, it's really dense in the way that the vines of all the bushes are intertwined that you literally can't see through them. So you have to cut through them.
Speaker 2:Right. Majority of the time. It's a slow process.
Speaker:Yeah. It becomes a point where it goes from rescue to recovery. Right. Because they're like, with the temperature, with the level of rain. Elements. Everything, there's no way. Yeah,
Speaker 2:exposure, animals.
Speaker:Yeah, he's six years old. Like, he's a baby. So one interesting tidbit of info is that even with the rain, they did find two sets of footprints. Thanks One being a very small child, and the other one being a set of bare feet. Which is really interesting. Oh no. Grown, bare feet.
Speaker 2:Holy shit.
Speaker:More than a thousand searchers keep looking. They look until June 26th. So I think that's about like 10 days, maybe, after Father's Day weekend. And when the search was cut, back after that. Because they realized, like I said, it was more recovery than it was rescue. And it was abandoned on the 29th, three days later. And then the last search was more just what the fuck, where else can we even possibly look? Right. And then they keep searching until September, it was closed on September 14th of 1969. And, as of today, it's still the largest search in the history of the National Park. Oh,
Speaker 2:Colleen, I knew it! He has never
Speaker:been found and legitimately disappeared in thin air. In a bush. Right in front of his father's eyes. From here to that door right there.
Speaker 2:That's so scary to be that close to and just be like, Oh, I'm just going to turn around and make him feel like he's scaring me, even though I know what's going on Father's Day weekend. The traditional, that's awful. That is so awful. And he's so little,
Speaker:there are a few different theories as to what they think really happened to him. The first is that he was obviously just got lost, which like, how the fuck do you get lost? You can see your whole family and friends, but that's besides the point. And obviously exposure, the usual things that would happen if someone went missing in that, those conditions. The second is that he was attacked by a bear or a feral pig. I mean, it's not
Speaker 2:funny. It's just the fact that's even on the table as an option is
Speaker:And that he was carried off. So crazy. But still, like, I, you heard me with the feral pigs sound earlier. Someone would have fucking heard it or seen it. That's crazy. That's crazy. Sounds like it was the bear. Yeah. The third is that he was abducted and taken out of the park by something or someone. His dad is like, that has to be it. Like, it's simply, there's no other option. Right. This guy, a couple, On the afternoon that he disappeared, this tourist, his name is Harold, him and his family, like, heard some weird scream. They were, like, nearby, I think within, like, a couple miles. And they were looking around and they see this, like, shaggy, gross man that was running from the trail where the scream had come from, but he they also noted that he had a piece of red cloth on his shoulder. Or piece of red clothing and they saw him run into a vehicle and kind of like take off and it was I think I know I said two miles. I think it was seven miles away from where he went missing.
Speaker 2:Okay
Speaker:Was he wearing something red? He was wearing a red t shirt So that's a theory but they call in the FBI and they conclude there's really like no evidence to link this random man to the disappearance But it is what it is and nothing has come about that at all. But some people think it's the feral people that just saw a human, a small one, and weren't, weren't scared of it and was like, look at that little one and we'll snatch it up and fucking dissect it. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Well, anyone who's ever had a conspiracy theory, this just feeds into it. Yep. And they just go, oh, well, this is the Feral people who live here.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker:I mean, that's just one of, on average, a thousand people just go missing into thin air. In any, in National Parks in Appalachia. A thousand people. A thousand people, that's so many people. Like, how
Speaker 2:often?
Speaker:Once a year.
Speaker 2:Once a year, one thousand people go missing?
Speaker:At least a thousand, every year, go missing. What? Isn't that crazy? Wait, hold on. Yo, we could spiral for hours about where, like, There's so many different things that people have like seen or heard and like a thousand
Speaker 2:people a thousand
Speaker:people Go missing every get
Speaker 2:cameras up in that bitch. What are we doing? No, because
Speaker:it's untouched They don't want they're protecting their peace These are this is our land like a thousand people are going missing a year. I would agree. I would completely agree with this statement I would agree.
Speaker 2:Wow
Speaker:That's fucking crazy. Yep, and I have a couple more So a couple of stories, longer ones actually, from Reddit of people that are local and have like a story to tell that really like grasps the idea of the feeling and like what it's really like to live there and to like live on a plot of land in the experiences you might have.
Speaker 2:Bring us there. Okay, cool. Bring us to Appalachia.
Speaker:Alright, first one from Reddit had me shiver me timbers. I'll make a shorter story from a longer one involving sensitive auras. But once I was with a girl on Big Frog Mountain at dusk miles away from anyone. We decided to walk up a trail when right behind the car I stepped into a mud puddle with odd looking brownish water. I pointed out the unusual color to her when we started walking. Not far up the trail she started getting scared and we went back to the car. In the car we started making out, because obviously, while laying on the front seat and she had her hand draped out the window, I felt a super odd sensation in my back. It had happened before when people were behind me and I told her to put her hands in the car, which she did. A few minutes later I felt the sensation in my back again, but it felt more urgent. I rolled her window up, but being a horny ass teenager continued with the makeout session. A few minutes later, it felt like someone had stuck a live wire into my back. I sat up, started the car, and headed back down the mountain. She was obviously confused and asked me what was wrong. I replied that I didn't know, but something was seriously wrong somewhere. We went back to my parents house and was assured by them the family was okay. Having calmed down some, we ate a little bit of dinner and started to leave. After I opened the car door for her, I walked around the back of my car. While walking, I glanced at the back of the car and saw handprints the same color of the mysterious mud puddle on the car. The last one was over the back window, and it was obvious that someone was watching us while inching their way to the front driver's side window.
Speaker 2:Oh, I hate When I saw
Speaker:the handprints, it was like being hit with a lightning bolt, and I knew what had happened. Cold chills ran all over me. I got her out of the car, and as soon as she saw the prints, she knew too. This story is the absolute truth, so help me, and I will never forget it.
Speaker 2:I mean Intuition.
Speaker:Intuition!
Speaker 2:Holy shit. That is so creepy.
Speaker:That is nightmare fuel. That could be one of also many things. That could be not a real person. It could be a feral person and then it could just be a serial killer could be an animal or a pedophile I don't know
Speaker 2:Any or all of the above
Speaker:handprints? No on the car. No, but you know what? I mean? Yeah, the pigs are out here. Yeah, making They do it right that was good. Thanks. Oh, this is a story about this woman's Mamaw. So, Mamaw was born in Mamaw! This is about Mamaw. Mamaw is that bitch, okay? I was gonna say, I already love her and I do not know her. It's giving West Virginia. Which I actually think this is in West Virginia, which is hilarious. West Virginia! Mamaw was born and raised in a very rural and urban area. Poor area of West Virginia. There we have it. Her and her seven or eight brothers. Just wondering why there's Seven or eight? Just wondering why we're not confirmed there. Why don't we have an exact number? They were all very poor. Because of this, and because it was what many country people did, her father raised a garden. Now, my mamaw nearly idolized her father, and would go with him the distance from their house to the garden spot, which was a good piece off. This required that they push a wagon with wooden wheels Listen. The wagons. They push a wagon with wooden wheels past their neighbor's house. My mamaw was terrified of the old woman that lives beside them. Mamaw said they called her Aunt Kate. She was older and apparently had cataracts because mamaw said her eyes were white. Mamaw said this particular summer was extremely hot, and she and her father had spent a good bit of time in the garden tending to the vegetables and picking what was ready. Cause you know, they gotta eat, they live it off the land. As they pushed this big wagon up and in front of Aunt Kate's house, the old woman came out and yelled, Harrison! Give me some of them beans you got there! My great grandfather responded, Kate, we worked really hard for these beans and we ain't giving them away. The old woman laughed and said that they would regret their decision.
Speaker 4:Oh.
Speaker:The two proceeded up the hill to their home. And they went about chores and other required duties. Mamaw said that she thought nothing of it until it was time to sleep. According to my mamaw, with so many kids, they shared the same bed and some of the floor where they slept with minimal coverings. Mamaw said that she was drifting off to sleep when she heard someone or something walk towards the room where she was sleeping. Knowing the sounds of the home, she didn't recognize who or what it possibly could be. Mamaw always talked about how her father would tell them stories to scare them into being good. Love that, honestly. Due to this, she was easily scared. As the walking got closer, she covered her head and laid still, terrified of who or what was in the doorway. Mamaw reported that whatever it was would turn and walk out of the room and back down the hallway all night long.
Speaker 2:Oh, I
Speaker:hate that. Mamaw said she lay there all night terrified and scared to take her head out from under the blanket. The next morning as the sun rose, the thing completely stopped. She stated that she heard the familiar sound of her father moving quickly to get dressed. Once she bolstered enough bravery, she immediately darted down the hallway and into the kitchen, where her father was placing green beans into a sack. The two didn't speak, but they walked quickly out the door and down the hill to Aunt Kate's house with a sack full of beans. Mamaw said old Aunt Kate was already on the porch as if waiting on them to arrive. Her father said, old woman, take your booger, which is a Appalachian term for spirit slash demon back. And Aunt Kate started laughing and told them, don't worry, Harrison, it won't bother you anymore. Mamaw told other things that Aunt Kate did that alluded to her being somewhat familiar with the dark side. Mamaw was a very honest woman, Christian lady. Like I had to go to church every time the doors were open. And I never remember a time where I caught her in a lie or even heard her curse. And she swore Kate was into black magic. Wow. That's what they're up to over there. Isn't that
Speaker 2:crazy? It's like the, it's a totally different universe.
Speaker:No, a hundred percent. Like, oh, you just, you did me wrong. You'll regret that. I'm going to send a demon on you to watch you at night just to watch your
Speaker 2:children and walk up and down the hallways to make sure you're scared as shit so you can give me some beans. Some
Speaker:fucking green beans. I mean, I don't blame them. I was going to say
Speaker 2:you are in your green bean RF. A fresh
Speaker:green bean from the garden. Would you send a demon
Speaker 2:for some green beans?
Speaker:Fuck yeah, I would. There is very, the bar for me sending a demon would be so low. Subs I know it would. I know it would. My demons would be working overtime. The devil works hard, but Colleen's demons work harder. My demons won't leave me alone. They're booked and busy. They are fucking booked and busy, I'll tell you. Their schedule is packed. Jam packed. Okay, this one's a long one, my last one is, I grew up in southern Appalachia, so now we have southern fuckin Appalachia, in western North Carolina, 30 minutes outside the town of Asheville. The hills
Speaker 2:and haulers, do you know what a hauler is? So, the first time I went to Nashville, they would have everyone do shots in the bar, in the live bands. One of, our favorite one, we were there, it was with your brother. They would go, a holler, and everyone would hold it up and yell. And then he'd go, and a swaller,
Speaker:and then everyone would take the
Speaker 2:shot.
Speaker:I love that. I think your Facebook album was named that.
Speaker 2:So a holler, Colleen, I literally have not had Facebook in years. How do you remember that? You are a sick and twisted woman. You remember? Facebook. Album name from 2013.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker 2:When I have not had or used that app in multiple years. But you cannot remember what you ate yesterday. You had another
Speaker:one that I think I remember. I think it was something about skating.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker:That's all. Got it. The bitch can skate, that was another one. I don't remember what the event was though. Great. That's all. Thanks for the update. You should get Facebook back. No. It's fun to creep on people, but whatever. Anywho. Where was I just talking? Town of Asheville. Oh, the hills and the hollers. Yeah. Holler and swaller of the Appalachian Mountains are some of the oldest mountains in the world with some of the rock formations dating back over a billion years That quite literally means they were here before the terrestrial animals.
Speaker 2:I don't even know what that means. Damn long ass time
Speaker:As with most things that have been on earth a long time There are inexplicable anomalies both benevolent and benevolent Beloved Malevolent. You know what I'm thinking about?
Speaker 2:Maleficent.
Speaker:It's one of
Speaker 2:the only movies you quote.
Speaker:Do I quote Maleficent a lot?
Speaker 2:Damn.
Speaker:No,
Speaker 2:I just
Speaker:know your movie. It's a good movie. It's a good movie. For example, the Brown Mountain Lights. Never in my life have I ever felt threatened or uneasy from witnessing them from a wise man's view. They're neither good nor evil, they just are, as most things are in rural Appalachia. On the benevolent side, sometimes you can walk through an abandoned old church up near mom and dad's property line and you can feel good, warm, happy energy. It's like the first warm day of summer when the sunshine is not too hot, but it's not cold. Well, this story is not about one such anomaly. It's about something that's definitely malevolent. About a decade ago, I was in night school up at AB Tech going to school for automotive mechanics. Love that for you. I would go into class about 2 p. m. after I got off my part time job and I would end up going home about 10 30 p. m. depending on traffic. Every night I drove the same road in my old 1973 W200 Dodge pickup. Some nights it would get rather boring and I would take on a different route. Jump off I 40 and drive some back roads, which you shouldn't fucking do ever. On this particular evening, I had decided to just stay on I 40 because I wanted to go home and go to bed. It was Thursday and there was no class on Friday and I wanted to get to bed early so I could go out into the woods and go hiking early tomorrow morning and watch the sun come up. Please. Can't relate. As I jumped off the I 40 onto the exit where my parents lived, the night seemed to get darker and none of the animals that I could hear through my rolled down windows made any noise. The cab of my truck became smaller and my breathing quickened. I have never faced any kind of anxiety in my life, but at that moment something felt off and there was no way I could put my finger on what it was. I came to a stop at the exit ramp. Turned to go down the road and I happened to notice that the gas station off the exit where mom and dad lived had no lights on. They were a 24 hour truck stop and always had lights on. And I didn't think about it again after noticing. I just chalked it up to the power being out, and I could not shake the feeling that something was definitely askew. I slowly shifted through all of my old truck's gears, not wanting to make any more noise than an old pickup already did. I'm sweating. I leaned over my steering wheel. To look up at the moon through the windshield and there were barely any stars visible, which was extremely out of the ordinary for around here. If you've ever been to Appalachia, primarily the sparsely populated area where I'm from, you can see the Milky Way on clear nights.
Speaker 2:Oh, I actually, that's one of my dreams is to go somewhere so clear you can see the Milky Way. Really? I'm obsessed with stars and the space. I don't know why. Always have been. Space and Titanic. Yes, exactly, Colleen. Musical theater, space, Titanic.
Speaker:That is it. That's the trifecta. An absence of stars back home is only due to clouds over whatever in the hell went on in this particular night. As I rounded a particularly sharp left hand curve and chugged through a straight stretch before the next right hander, I looked at the ancient decaying barn I always gazed at when riding that stretch of road and thought about how long that thing had been there and how many advancements in civilization it had seen. Like, this person writes so well.
Speaker 2:They are very descriptive. I feel like I'm there. I feel like I'm listening to an Audible book right now. Really? With you reading this person's story.
Speaker:For the split second that my gaze wandered, a very large, sickly looking dog ran out in front of my truck. No more than ten feet in front of me. Oh
Speaker 2:no.
Speaker:Old Betsy was a good truck, but she did not stop well.
Speaker 2:Oh no! Thump, thump!
Speaker:I heard no, not what you think. I heard the fence post I had left in my truck bounce up and out of the bed and then back into as I slid to a stop. Oh, I lied. He did hit it. I forgot. My first thought was, Oh God, now I have to go tell these neighbors that I ran over their dog. That shit doesn't go real far with people around here. Or anywhere. It really set them off depending on the dog and the person. Yeah. As I sat there breathing in the smell of burning rubber, something else found its way into my nose. The stench of rotting flesh. It's not a smell you ever forget once you smell it one time. I didn't pay much attention to it at the time. I just chalked it up to some rotting roadkill nearby. Finally, I thought to myself, let me go check and see who this dog belongs to. I pushed my clutch in, shifted to reverse, and as I looked into the rearview mirror, illuminated by the haunting glow of my reverse lamps, as the same dog, only it wasn't on four legs anymore, it had stood up like a man.
Speaker 2:No. No. No. A man well over ten feet tall. The way in which I would immediately piss myself. Obviously.
Speaker:Only then did it dawn on me that the front of my truck was every bit of five feet tall, and that this dog was every bit of five feet tall at the Oh, it was every bit of five feet tall at the shoulders on all fours. As it turned its head to look in the direction of my truck, I caught a glimpse of the creature. It was not a dog. It was not a man. It was somewhere in between that, and at the same time, entirely separate altogether. Its skin hung loose, Ugh. Ugh. It's skin hung loose off of it's emaciated and thin frame, like a raccoon. Bits of matted fur and dirt and mud clung to it's legs like a disease. The right arm seemed a little longer than the left. And they both hung abnormally low in relation to either animal this creature seemed to be. So quasi moto. Yeah, essentially. As it regained its senses, it turned and looked into the mirror like it knew exactly where I was sitting. The face was that of a man's, but the very edges of its face seemed not to be totally defined. They seemed to move and change like something you would see at a cellular level in a scientific documentary. Isn't that crazy?
Speaker 2:Huh.
Speaker:I keep saying that. Isn't that crazy? I mean it is. I know. It's all crazy. There were no eyes but only sockets where eyes should have been. Nope.
Speaker 2:See,
Speaker:something that specific part is a hard no. I know. Like I fight or flight man, I'd be flighting. Flighting or frozen, I don't know. So it has no eyes, but only sockets where the eyes should have been. No hair in the skin that was dripping off. Its face was cold, lifeless, gray. The nose was short and shoved into its face like a bulldog. But the teeth would still haunt me. It was definitely carnivorous and true to form of the rest of its unnatural teeth didn't seem to be arranged in a natural way in its mouth. They seemed to fill and spill forth with an un, from an undefinable face. Almost like they knew the horror they occupied and they were searching for a way out. It's giving Voldemort.
Speaker 2:I mean when you said the nose part, that was my first thought too. Yeah. It's the Voldemort, it's the flat nose. The way this person is writing is beautiful. It's just terrifying. You're
Speaker:like, this doesn't belong on Reddit. This should be a book. Yeah. It stared through my life, into my eyes, and past my soul. Is
Speaker 2:that how
Speaker:you
Speaker 2:feel
Speaker:when
Speaker 2:I look at you? You know what? It's never been said so beautifully, and I've always been trying to find the words, Colleen. I've been searching for Nearly 27 years now to find the words of what it feels like when you look at me, and I'm so glad we finally found this lovely person's Reddit thread.
Speaker:He's such an inspiration. Yeah. Love you.
Speaker 2:To explain it correctly.
Speaker:It seemed like an eternity, but could not have been more than five seconds that I stay there paralyzed. A light came on at the house next to the road, causing the creature to snap its gaze in that direction and tear off into the woods on its two back legs, like a man. I jammed my old truck in first gear and roasted tires all the way through first, snatched second gear, and drove as fast as I could home. When I got to the house, both of my parents were asleep. I went downstairs into my bedroom and loaded every firearm I possessed and locked all of the doors. Yeah. I couldn't wake them up. Wake them up. Who the fuck would believe that on 1030 on a Thursday night? The basement was eerily quiet that night. Even their dogs that got up to raise hell, At outside Oh, that got up to a raised hell at outside animals at all hours of the night were dead silent. The old post and beam house didn't even creak or pop that night, as was usual. At about 3am, bewitching hour, I finally started to get drowsy. And as I went to lay my head down and get some sleep so I could still attempt to go hiking the next morning, I smelled the smell again. GASP Colleen,
Speaker 2:I'm going to have a nightmare. What? Okay. I'm sorry. Go ahead.
Speaker:It was faint at first, but it was definitely there. I thought to myself, you're just going crazy. None of that shit was real. But as I dwelt on it, it became more and more noticeable until it filled the entire basement. My dad has a home office in the basement with two large glass doors that face the Pisgah National Forest, an impenetrable, penetrable, 500, 000 acre woods. I finally worked up the courage to walk out of my bedroom and into the basement living room. No.
Speaker 3:No. No. With
Speaker:my little tactical 12 gauge loaded tack light on, I covered the flashlight with my hand so as to not make my presence known until I need to be. And as I turned right out of the living room into my father's office, I shined the light through the glass doors and at the edge of the woods there stood the creature.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker:My. God. God. It was motionless. It stared right into the light, unafraid, with those soulless sockets devoid of eyes. I quickly covered my tactical light and ran into the living room and flipped the outdoor flood lights into my surprise it was no longer standing at the edge of the woods but between the house and the edge of the woods.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, it's getting closer. Still
Speaker:motionless.
Speaker 2:I could vomit.
Speaker:I swung the door open and fired every round I had in its direction. I must have scored a couple of hits because it screeched an unearthly scream, like that of a woman being slaughtered, as it took off into the woods. The dogs went crazy. My mom and dad woke up asking me what the hell I was doing. I told them that a bear had gotten into the trash and I was scaring it away. They didn't believe me, but I knew they wouldn't believe me at the truth either. I didn't sleep that night or any time until the following Sunday. Everything seemed to return to normal, but I, and I didn't think about that creature again until I met my wife about six years later. Her mother's house sits on the mouth of a hauler, because obviously. No more than four Because doesn't everybody live in a hauler? No more than four or five miles down the road from my mother and father's house. Up the side of the hauler, there are kennels for her brother's hunting dogs. No longer in use, and haven't been in years. But the fence is still there, and the concrete pad is still there. It's still there. A thing of great use when you need to quarantine an animal. Her great Pyrenees had gotten into a tussle with a raccoon, which of course he destroyed, but his rabies vaccination had lapsed, so we had to keep him quarantined for a time, quarantined for a time. It didn't bother him. He likes his altitude. I think great Pyrenees are very like, chill. I think they just like to vibe on their own. Okay. This particular night that we were coming home from a movie date in a neighboring town was the last night of quarantine for him. So we walked up the trail using our phone flashlights to get to the kennel, and there he sat patiently waiting. Tail wagging, happy to see us. We put him on a leash and started walking back to the house with him. As we were walking back through the darkness, I started to feel the same feeling I had felt the night I hit the creature with my truck. I was gonna
Speaker 2:say the scent.
Speaker:I didn't say anything so I wouldn't alarm my wife, but then the smell came wafting in on the breeze. She jokingly asked me, My god, what did you eat? You legit smell. I half assed laughed, not being able to fully appreciate the joke, for the horrors that raged within my mind. She immediately caught on and asked me what was wrong. To which I could only reply, I'll tell you later. She grew up in the woods, and around hunting and things of that nature her whole life, so she knew what I meant. She knew we were being watched. When we could see the lights of her house from the trails of the kennel, we heard it. There came barking from the kennel, and it sounded just like the great Pyrenees we had on the leash next to us. It was a perfect imitation. The Pyrenees, being a guardian dog, immediately sensed something was wrong and so he turned to face the danger, belting out deep barks and growls in that direction. I don't know if you've ever had to drag a 150 pound dog, but it sucks and it's no easy task. I'm 6 feet tall and 240 pounds, and all I could do, and it was all I could do to get him back to the house, was drag him. The barking never ceased the entire time we were running towards the house. In fact, it seemed to grow closer and closer until it seemed it was coming from inside my own head. Her mother heard the commotion and flipped the floodlights on as we made it to the fence and of the yard and I caught a glimpse of something coming to a dead stop at the end of where the light reached, wheeling around and tearing back off into the darkness. My wife looks at me and said, you want to tell me what the fuck that was? To which I replied, yes, let's go inside. I told her the story and she listened intently, hanging on to every word. Her family came from a long time of witches and other supernatural healers of the Appalachians. So her older sister came over the next morning with some herbs and chants to bless the property and ward off any evil. I suggested we go up to the dog kennels and do them as well. When we got to the kennels, they were completely destroyed. Their very concrete foundation was cracked and the chain link fence was torn off of its posts.
Speaker 2:Oh my god. The dog
Speaker:houses were destroyed and the place reeked of the stench that followed the creature. My wife told her sister just went about her business as normal, blessed the place, burned some herbs, and led us back to the property. When we got into the house, she wheeled about on us suddenly. Oh, she like, came at us. Oh, wheeled around. Yeah, and instructed us to firmly never go back into the woods after dark, not until this thing has left me alone. To make a long story short, Like, yeah, okay, this is the longest story ever. My wife joined the military and she ended up getting stationed in Delaware. Well, as someone who's lived around fairly large mountains and endless wilderness their entire life, Delaware is pretty fucking terrible. At least that was my thought when we first moved into the middle of a 50, 000 plus population city. Fortunately though, it didn't take us long to find a house in a sleepy little community further south. We purchased the house and we moved in with haste. There you go. You must make haste. You must make haste. We are both very grateful and glad to be out of the city and into a rural setting yet again. The land in Delaware seems lifeless in comparison to Appalachia. The sparsely populated woods don't process any energy that goes one way or the other. The ground doesn't seem to be alive like it is in Appalachia. Having not thought about the creature in a very long time, I resumed my staying outside after dark and playing with our dogs. Stop! Stop it! But he's
Speaker 4:in a different location! I don't care! I
Speaker:would never go outside after dark ever again! He just wants to play with his dogs outside. So he's outside playing with dogs, playing with his dogs in our rather large yard that borders a small patch of wood. Well, last night I went outside to play with the dogs. Oh my god. And as dark sat in, I built a decent sized fire in my fire pit and consumed some good old fashioned Appalachian Mountain cough syrup from a mason jar. And just as the fire was dying down, my American Bulldog tore off towards the woods. He has a habit of running off to go on adventures, so my immediate instinct was to chase him down in the yard and tackle him so he couldn't get away. I tackled his 110 pound ass to the ground Oh my god and threw him in a fireman's carry over my shoulder. I heard him begin to bark. Only, the bark was not coming from him. The only sound coming from him was a deep, rumbling growl. A noise I've never heard him make. It was a threatening noise. Something was definitely wrong as I ran with him on my shoulders back to the house. The stench of death again began to fill the air. The two other dogs must have caught wind of what was happening and met me at the back door, which I threw open, slam shut, locked up, and locked up again and loaded my firearms. How the hell could this thing have followed me 650 miles? As I flipped the FUD lights on at the back side of my house, several of the bushes and small trees at the forest edge were still shaking with something that had just run through them. My dogs went crazy all night, barking and howling and attempting to get out of the woods. I didn't sleep one bit, and I don't think I will for a while. I know for sure I won't go into the woods after dark ever again until my entire life, even until this thing is gone.
Speaker 2:Yes, sir. Yes, that is correct.
Speaker:No follow up. That's
Speaker 2:fucking terrifying.
Speaker:That's all. And that's how I would describe every story I read had, was the same energy. But that was like the best one I liked. Wow. When he's like, we moved, but the woods aren't alive anymore. Like, the fuck do you mean? They shouldn't be alive! They should be dead! They should be quiet! That's all.
Speaker 2:And that's rural Appalachia?
Speaker:Yeah, so don't go visit that place.
Speaker 2:I mean, I wasn't planning on it, but now, for sure no.
Speaker:It's a hard pass. It's a no
Speaker 2:man's land.
Speaker:Yeah. I've been to, like, West Virginia University, but that ain't, that's not the same vibe. When did you go to West Virginia University? My friend Kylie went there.
Speaker 2:And you visited? Yeah. Of all of the places to go?
Speaker:I went, I did, like, the college tours, I went around, visited my friends. I went to U Tampa a couple times too.
Speaker 2:Oh, I bet U Tampa was fun.
Speaker:Gotta visit the squad, yeah, honestly, West Virginia was wicked fun. But it's definitely not, like, a holler situation. It's very mountainous. So that's
Speaker 2:not what you yell before you take a shot? It's a mountain?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah. It's like a cavern. Like a valley, if you will. Oh, okay. In between mountains. Got it. And that's the vibe. Yeah, that was crazy.
Speaker 2:Very spooky.
Speaker:Spooky, spooky. Well, if you didn't know about that, now you do. That's all. Yeah,
Speaker 2:wow, great job. Cool, thanks. That was a lot of scary information about one place that I will now never go.
Speaker:You want to bring some positivity to the squad or no?
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's do two positive stories. Both are from Tanks Good News. The first one, Richard Remp, a 98 year old World War II veteran, was awarded his high school diploma two days before his death. Stop. He left high school at his senior year to serve in World War II and continued his military career through the Vietnam War. He served two wars. His friends contacted school officials in his hometown of Sharon, Pennsylvania, who expedited the request and personally delivered the diploma to his home, and he passed away on May 19th at the age of 98, with his diploma being the last thing he remembered. Stop. That
Speaker:deeply upsets me.
Speaker 2:It really upsets my microphone as well.
Speaker:No, it was the ghost.
Speaker 2:Oh. Oh. You're following me. I thought that smell was
Speaker:just you. No, it very well could be.
Speaker 2:In the last one, a five year old boy named Jordan Murata, he was born with one hand. He has become the youngest person to receive a bionic arm. Look at this.
Speaker:Oh, he must be so happy. He looks like a transformer. So they
Speaker 2:fashioned it like Iron Man. I love that. So he would feel like a superhero. He was fitted with an Iron Man themed quote, hero arm prosthetic, which allowed him to ride a scooter for the first time with both hands. Sweet angel. He's five.
Speaker:Now we can ride a scooter.
Speaker 2:I know. Jordan was overjoyed and quickly adapted to using the prosthetic. His mother, Ashley, had initially been told he was too young for the prosthetic, but Open Bionics agreed to fit him after a successful trial. Jordan's new arm has given him new confidence and enabled him to perform daily activities with ease. Good for him. Jordan's out here with his little Iron Man arm. Friggin scootering around! He's living his best life. He really is. I also really quick saw on Tanks Good News that an 18 month old girl has become the youngest child to receive completely restored hearing. Through like some gene therapy trial. Oh
Speaker:good, they're onto something.
Speaker 2:So, I mean, we have bionic arms, we're restoring hearing for little baby angels. I mean, there's just Technology is very scary, but also wildly cool.
Speaker:Yes, for when it's used in good ways.
Speaker 2:Exactly. But yeah, those are the positive stories of the week. Great job, Colleen. I feel equally spooky and informed. Thank you. I hope no one Has that scent or anything following them. I hope you wear sunglasses indoors this week.
Speaker:The only thing these people have following is me But really put your sunglasses on it'll give you a whole new identity
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's really making us feel a certain type of way. I highly recommend
Speaker:12 out of 10 and that's all folks.
Speaker 2:Love you
Speaker:mean it. Love you mean it
Speaker 9:podcast was produced by me, Bridget Shannon. Music is written and performed by Matt Derosiers. You can find his band, Super Stoker, anywhere you listen to music
