Sippin' with the Shannons

Hateful Hour

• Bridget Shannon and Colleen Shannon • Episode 91

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On this week's episode,  Colleen has a lot to say after skinny dipping on a bachelorette, an exorcism at a bridal shower and hosts hateful hour. Then we get into the topic of the week... THE MURDER OF TRAVIS ALEXANDER. Bridget tells us the story about how they met, how their relationship turned toxic and how Jodi likes to do headstands... while being interrogated. This bitch is CRAZY. Also, let us know what happens at a LDS singles night because we still don't understand. 

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Your ma's drunk. Your ma doesn't make any sense. Has she been drinking? So you finished Derry Girls. I can't talk about it, I'm not ready. James is a dairy girl. Yes he is. Aaron. So you liked it. I did, I wept. Yeah, it's so good. Motherfucker! Is my new saying. It always has been, honestly. I'm just saying. How you doing? I'm good. She's buzzed, everybody. She has arrived at my apartment. A little later than normal, no one cares. Buzzed with pigs in a blanket. The girly pops are buzzing. She did in fact put She did in fact put Don't talk with your foot. Her foot is on the table. She put I don't know the term. Wagyu? Wagyu? I don't know. People who care about meat know what I'm talking about. Wagyu beef, uh, pigs in a blanket from the steakhouse at my work. I put them in my purse. She shows up with Chipotle napkins. Just hands me two pigs in a blanket. I looked at my co workers and said, this is an Irish goodbye. And I looked at the executive chef. I said, give me some of those to go. Some people bring frankincense or myrrh. Colleen brings Wagyu beef. Pigs in a blanket. They were good though, weren't they? They were very good. I wish I could have brought you some of that dipping sauce, but What kind of dipping sauce was it? Was it a fancy kind? No, it was giving like steakhouse chick fil a sauce. Do you know what I mean? Yes, I do. But there was no way I could have put that. No, no, no, that's okay. That was too much dabbling for me. Yeah, we can skip out on that one. It's fine. Also, hi everyone. Hey. Welcome to this week's episode of Shannons. We're cousins and each week we sit down, we sip on some wine, we talk some shit, we have a good giggle. I'm Bridget Shannon. And I'm Colleen Shannon. I, where do you even begin with you? I, I'm an open book sister. Should we just ask you all of these insane questions to see what kind of tea you give us now that you have a, a more of a buzz than normal? I mean, sure, go ahead and ask me anything you want, but I mean, I think I spilled the tea on a regular basis. know what's so funny? I got nothing because I know everything. You tell us all anyway. I tell you everything, even things you don't want to know, that you cut out. Yeah, that's true. That's true. You guys don't even know? There's some editing that happens on this podcast, believe it or not. Some? It's a lot. How about you tell me, tell me about you. Let's hear it. I'm either having a great time or super anxious so that's super fun for me. Mm-Hmm. But I had a fabulous weekend. I spent the day with Hillary and her kids at the beach. Like I drove up to Portland, Maine and we did like a day on the beach. I had a Friday. Night couch rotting session with Sarah and we ordered Regina's and just talk shit for hours. It was wonderful This is what dreams are made of. Hillary has the cutest children on the fucking planet. Aren't they so fucking cute? You know, we've talked about it gang. Here we are. I'm acting like you're in my living room I mean your foot is literally up on the table. Like you are acting as if we are in my living room Honestly, I love, I'm not, I'm not even hating. I love it. Get comfy. This is our pod room. We can do whatever the fuck we want. You want to put your pussy lips on that table? Fucking go for it. I feel like you would draw the line there. Don't because this table will, if you sneeze on it the wrong way, absolutely collapse. I don't know. My calves, my calves are hefty, dude. You don't even know. Okay, anyway, Hilary's children. Hilary's children are the cutest children I've ever seen. And you guys know that I am not a fan of the, the, the small children, small people. Yeah. The small children. I'm not a fan of the grubbers. But they are so fucking cute. They're so cute. They're so cute. That's all. Like, Hilary, I would hang out with them. Yeah. Well, it helps when you have two very attractive parents. Hmm. You know. So fair. The gene pool is gening. The gene is genie. but Paula and I booked lunch on the Pride Parade route. Okay. And so we went to Barcelona Wine Bar to watch the Pride Parade and then after that, we were still having, everyone was having so much fun, the music, the vibes are just immaculate. So I said we should go to Club Cafe because that's a really popular gay bar in Boston. I knew a lot of people would be there. So they have like a back room. And just so everybody knows, the parade's in the morning. So it was over by I would say like 1 1 30 by 2 30 p. m. I am in a dark rave, with lights and disco balls, no windows, so it's dark, with a Red Bull vodka, waving, I believe, some sort of, it was either a trans flag or a pride flag, I don't know what flag, and just screaming about how I love the queers, at 3 o'clock in the afternoon on And I loved it. Hey now, hey now. This is what dreams are made of. The vibes are obviously amazing. Everyone there, everyone's having a good time. And the soundtrack, for the gays, is just like Cher, Madonna, RuPaul, Britney, Christina, Ariana, like it's what, it is just, Gaga, it is one banger after another after another after another, and so we made friends with these two girls and one girl was like, I'm the lesbian, my friend here is straight, and I was like, yes, love that, and so we're dancing with them and everything, and a RuPaul song came on, Sissy That Walk, which is on my getting ready playlist, like I listen to it when I get ready and do my makeup. Okay. Means it puts me in a space that I love. And then afterwards, they played a song that one of the newer queens from a newer season used at her talent show. It's Mirage. Everybody, you know what I'm fucking talking about. And so I knew the choreo, because of course I do. And so I'm doing it, and I'm like, no, no, no, this is from season, and I'm like spewing out all these RuPaul facts, and the lesbian leaned over and goes, you're fucking gayer than I am. And I just think it's so rude that I was not born a gay little boy. That's me. Like, not specifically a lesbian, which I also would crush, but specifically a flamboyant gay man. Yeah, you have the soul of a flamboyant gay man for sure. Do you know what I mean? Yes. Like, how is that not a thing? I don't know. Ugh. Anyway. Cause I mean I love men. I think you embrace it. Oh, for sure. Yeah. For sure, for sure. I had the best day. Like, we had the best day. We literally danced. My feet, my hips hurt the next day we danced so much. And we were screaming all, through the afternoon, like we walked out and the sun was still up. That's terrifying. three sheets to the wind. It was perfect. And I'm offended I'm not gay. Anyway. Maybe that's how you should come back in your next life. I mean, your next life being in the future, which we're already accepted. A hundred percent. In the future, I would come back as a flamboyant gay man and hopefully be a drag queen. I'd come back as a llama, probably. A llama? Yeah, they just vibe and like, chew on things. Oh. And people like them, they're fluffy. Anyways, I do have on my notes, which, now that I just said, you'd come back as somebody. Yeah. The last note of my thing says today, Tell Bridget you are interested in reincarnation. Period. No notes? No notes. Just that? Just reincarnation, period. Yeah. Okay I have a few follow up questions. I think that was like an episode topic in my brain. Where did that come from? I think it was one of my thoughts that I have. So do you ever drive somewhere or like in the shower and you have like conversations with yourself or like fights? Yeah. Oh yeah, for sure. So like I do that sometimes and I'm like, fuck I have to write that down because I will forget and that was one of them, was tell Bridget. Tell Bridget you like, oh no sorry, tell Bridget you like reincarnation and past lives. Okay, is this a hyperfix? Did you see it? I'm trying to figure out where this stemmed from. I think it's something that when you, for some reason when you said to me last week Colleen, what's something that really interests you that you want to know more about? That has really stuck with me. Colleen, that's literally how I pick our topics. What are you talking about? Like I've just never been like I do this weekly. What do you care about? With you. And what do you want to know about? For two years. What, what intrigues you? Damn. Colleen, we have a, we have a podcast where we pick a weekly topic. It hit different. She couldn't think of anything and I just said, what do you want to know about? What's something that interests you that you want to do a deep dive on? And you said, I like rural Appalachia. That's why we did that topic. And so I've spiraled since then. So reincarnation. Oh, shit. I just hit the button that said. Oh, I hit the button that's, I'm, I've been typing this whole time. She hit the speaker button, so now it's just been listing off everything that we just said. Colleen. Anywho. Sorry. So you are interested in learning more about reincarnation, so that might be a future topic. No, for sure. Oh, I love that. That sounds great. Past lives. Let's do it. You know the children that were like, yeah, I was a grandma once, and they're like, what the fuck? Have you heard about that? That little boy who was like, no, I flew that jet in World War ii. Yeah, I've heard about the nine 11 ones too. They're like, no, no, no. I was there. Oh my God, that's so crazy. So I to be continued, everybody, I've seen y'all in a couple weeks So I'm saying Uh, I had a baby shower. Laura, Laura's baby shower. It was beautiful. It was lovely. All the girlies got together. We had wine. We opened presents. I mean, no notes. It's classic Sunday afternoon vibing. As one does. And free food. What is bridal shower and baby shower? What's the drink of choice? Maumau? Miumau? Yeah, it depends on the time of day. It also depends on the vibe. Like, my sister's bridal shower was at night. She didn't open presents and there was a live band and a DJ. So it wasn't, you just go in full tilt there. Yeah. This was a Sunday afternoon baby shower, wine, mimosas, bloodies, uh, That sort of thing. Okay, cool. Sometimes I feel like when I have too many mimosas, I just have like this weird champagne orange juice aftertaste and I'm just like breathing breath on people. So would you agree with that? No. Okay. I mean, I, I will say for me, champagne makes me tired. Yeah. Wine makes me tired. So if I'm at brunch, let's say, let's put, let's say this. Okay, I'm listening. You're at brunch the next day because you're hungover, right? And you need something to just get you over the edge so when you can go home, you can take a great nap. I would have a mimosa. Would you? Because that will give me the little kick, but if I get sleepy, I have time to rest. If I am preparing for a long day, I may start with a mimosa, but I won't stick with it. I prefer a screwdriver, honestly, which is vodka and OJ. I agree. Cause I'm a vodka girly. In college I was a vodka orange juice girly. That was my drink of choice. I'd go to the bar. Yep. Where you could flash your titties for a free drink. I mean, say less. And I'd flash them and as I put my shirt down I would say VODKA ORANGE JUICE! And then I would get my bev and keep up, keep it moving. That's great, Colleen. That's all. She's frugal. She's a saver. If there is a way to get free shit, to save a dime or get free shit, I am on it. You're talking to the girl that tried to sell her own plasma, okay? Yeah. But couldn't because she doesn't drink enough water and her blood, her blood was clotting. But that's, that's besides the point. That's simply not the point. Okay, do you want to see my nose from today? Yeah, I do. This is, I'm, mind you, obviously not doing the talking today. Ugh, I'm worried. Colleen, is that all different subjects? Yes. Okay, should we just rapid fire them, or? Well, like, do you have anything? I have our whole ass episode, but like, we, we can, we can, Pish posh! Hey gang, how y'all doing? How y'all doing? It's her time to shine. Alright, let me get my wine. Here we go. Wait, I actually have a request. Oh god, what? Plug your nose. What? Plug it. Okay. Chug it. Plug and chug? Yeah, I need, I need you to, I feel like a, You need me to be more buzzed because you're feeling more buzzed than I am. By a lot. And that's a fair, that's a fair request. I don't have to plug my fucking nose. What are we, twelve? Well, can you chug? I feel you'd be like, nah, I can't. You know, finish, like finish the glass type of chug. But sometimes the ice gets in the way. Good girl. And that's a good gal. A little dribble won't hurt nobody. I was gonna finish it but then you made me giggle. Sorry. That's okay. I did make someone giggle earlier at the event I was at and the wine came out their nose. Okay, that was a good joke. Whatever was said, you slapped. Mm hmm. I think it was something about Irish guilt. That makes a lot of sense. Anyhoos. Okay, my weekend, gang. I went on a bachelorette this weekend and I it was in the cape. I stayed at saltburn mansion Minus the bath water was it gorge? It was the nicest home i've ever been in it was my call It was in harwich. It was my college. It was in the nicest fucking Neighborhood I've ever been to in my entire life. And Natalie is one of my best friends from college. She's so cute She's a so she I know she's a crazy person. That's why I love her She's also just wicked fucking cute how I would describe Natalie is and it's written in my notes This was so Natalie Coastal Grandmother crunchy, reiki loving, ganja queen vegetarian. And that is how I would describe her. It was We all have a picture and we are here for it. It's, she's little, she's blonde. She was very unwell the first night. I felt very awful for her. So she was actually upstairs, full hospice. Like, towel wrapped around her head, and we were just downstairs, pussy popping. Like, I What about the hospice? No, she was full hospice. She kept calling herself the hospice bride, dude. Like, she, she was unwell. That sucks. Like, of all the weekends, obviously you don't want it to be your wedding, but The second weekend that you don't want to feel unwell is your bachelorette. But she's like a fake vegetarian also. Like, for example, her wedding meals, like obviously chicken, steak, vegetarian option, whatever. She's like, well I obviously tried everything. Cause I need to know what I'm feeding my people. Like she, she'll, we would love to She dabbles. So we'd love to get her drunk and like give her a chicken nugget. And she'll eat it. Yeah. She's crazy. So she was really unwell the first night. It was terrible. We felt so awful for her. The, I, I must simply talk about the Airbnb. I have no words to describe to you how nice it was. It's not that it was, it was big, but it wasn't like this immense mansion. The way it was set up in the backyard, which I've never experienced a house that has this full shrubs, like walls of grass, very goblet of fire. Yeah. It's privacy shrubs. I have never, no, like sky high. Yeah. Yeah. They do it for privacy. No, I've literally never seen that in my life. I was like, so I'm poor. Yeah. So if you go to Nantucket, you're Which, if you're not from Boston, is an island, like Martha's Vineyard, right off the coast of Massachusetts. And it's where presidents go to vacation. It's very pish posh. I don't love it. Big whoop. I've been a few times. It's just not my vibe. See, I'm more of a vineyard girly. I'm a vineyard girly for life. But, but it's, Nantucket is beautiful and everyone should go. Every single house has those. Privacy. Oh my God. There was like Goblet of Fire hallways with, with a portrait in the backyard. Like it would like be like a portrait of a woman. Yeah. It was statues, statues that didn't make any sense. There was wallpaper that didn't match the glass floor, but it was, it made sense. It was the craziest. Yeah. Someone with. So Victorian. Yes. So Victorian. Sun rooms. So many windows. So many glass doors. Natural light. You guys, I've never stayed in a house like that. And also, like, we were giggling because we were in the attic, and every time someone was like, oh, which room are you in? Like, someone would be like, oh, we are legitimately in the servant's quarters, because that's what it was. Because it's so Victorian that, like, that's where we were staying. It was, like, upstairs, the servant's quarters. No, it 100 percent was. Like, very what are the things where you dropped it down the almost like an elevator, but, like, for food and stuff? You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, it's like a, not a laundry chute. There's a word for it, you guys know what we're talking about. There's like a pulley system to bring the thing up to the second floor or whatever. It was old, yet it wasn't. It was very strange. Yeah, it was stonin There was a cigar room. Yeah, I mean, love. And it was so detailed. But you were only there once. Two nights. So I unfortunately had to leave early because I had a bridal shower. Right. So the girly pops got to hang ten there the entire time. Pool was so nice. But the only thing is is that I'm a, I'm a warm girl. I'm a sweater. The pool was bathwater. Oh. Miss girl had no peace. Yeah, you were like, I need something refreshing. Listen to me for nine seconds. The shower. I'll give you ten. The shower and the service quarters? Yeah. you something. First of all, we had the claw. Bathtub. Ugh. Every bathroom had a claw bathtub. Gosh. I never got in it. It's my biggest, my biggest issue. had money. The shower was a three shower head one, so it had three knobs, and each one was for a different shower head. One was like one you could detach, the other two were big circles. So obviously like the girlies, we take showers together. Like me and my college friends, we just like always are very jail, like we just It's giving commune, like it's not normal, and it's fine. So we're like, you are nudists. All the other girlies were like taking them one by one, and then once it was open we were like, oh no, we'll be out in tens. There's like four of us. We're, we're, we're headed, the squad's headed in. Like, we don't care. At one point, Aaron went to the bathroom with Kelsey and they were going to shower together in a different bathroom that wasn't like a big one. It was like an actual, like, bathtub. And as a joke, Aaron goes, don't worry, I won't look at your pussy. And someone heard her say that and they were like, oh, and then we're like, oh, we're kidding. We're totally kidding, dude. It's a fucking joke. Anyways, I got in there. I'm like taking a shower head, putting it in between my legs up my ass and everyone's. It was just funny. I mean, it's funny. That's very you. Yeah, and everyone's just like, this is the way life should be. Yes. Anywho, insane resources that we had within the home. Yes. Crazy. The patio had a pizza oven, so we had like a pizza, a pizza and pinot night. Oh, it keeps getting better. How? No, it was so good. So like, we had like, and also, and I know we've talked about like parents on Bachelorettes. Yeah. Patti, which is Natalie's mother, and also her aunt, her cousins were all there. They just. Did their thing. They had their wine and then they would cook and clean. And it was like, we were never, like, we did not have to do a singular thing. Oh. So it's like, that's so nice. You know what I mean? But we would go out to the bar and obviously they, they would stay at home and they were like, oh no, we're gonna enjoy this fucking house. And we would drink our wine, do their own thing. But also they'd be up with us later at night when we came home. Like they were just the vibe. So like, I'm So for a parent on the batch after that what was I just gonna say? Oh, I smoked so many cigarettes and skinny dip with a cigarette. It was divine. My. Version of heaven is a backyard with a pool a gorgeous pool Not a cloud in the sky those shrubberies to the fucking ceiling and I can walk out through my Through my sunroom with my iced coffee and just be naked in my pool and lay out in the Sun with a cigarette in the morning And that there is simply I don't need friends. I don't need family. I don't need Anyone I don't even need nope. No food. I don't need a fucking pet I'll be fine. That's what I decided on that trip. I love this vision for you. That's all. I think that's great. That's what I wanted to share. But, uh, so we took a lot of shrooms. Cause like, Natalie's, uh, Natalie drinks, obviously. Yeah. We'd be drinking. Don't worry. Yeah. But she is very, like I said, earthy, crunchy, reiki loving, you know? Yeah. So she's a, a ganja queen. So like, we'd be by like, by the pool, like living lavish, and all of a sudden you just see a joint. Like, it was just, she's, she's a ganja queen. I'm not a ganja queen. So like, I need to like, overcompensate. So we were. With something. We were throwing back the chocolates like nobody's BUSINESS. You know? We even had the actual legit mushrooms. And? And, we just, we had a giggle. We just like had a good vibe and a giggle. I could not recommend them more. It was also cinnamon toast. Okay. Unless you are of age. Oh, sorry. You don't recommend drugs. Oh, sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. For our underage listeners. Yeah, if you're 12, put the chocolates down! I'm just kidding. But if you are old enough to make that decision. As someone who does not like the ganja and freaks her out, she gets anxiety, uh, could not recommend the chocolates or the ganja. I was gonna say, aren't they like gummies or in their like little chocolate? No, I've never had gummy. It's legit a chocolate bar. Or the actual legit mushroom, which kind of scares me a little bit. Like, I've had that with peanut butter before. Peanut butter and mushrooms? Who cares? I mean, I don't care. It's from the ground. Fuck off. People are out here doing like At this fucking point, Colleen, as long as you're not doing meth, I don't care. I mean Like, for fucking real. So, yeah, no, I would highly recommend it. It doesn't do anything, especially if you're drinking at the same time. It doesn't make a difference. Yeah. Like, if you're having like Wine or whatever. I was drinking like tequila sodas. Were you hungover? Did you feel it the next day? No. No, it really doesn't do anything. I, I feel like a new woman now that I've discovered tequila. Like, one, it's a different drunk. Two, I don't really get as hungover at all. Yeah. I sometimes get a headache, but like, what? The sun can hear that. It's fine. I do recommend, also when you are of age and can make this decision, that you test out different things and find which suits you best. Because everyone has one. Mine is vodka. Yours is tequila. Correct. there's an alcohol that's gonna make you want to murder everyone. Correct. That you should never, ever, ever have under threat of death. And you'll figure out what that is. And then there's gonna be one where you go, Oh, I woke up and I didn't want To die. To, to die today. And that's the one I'm gonna stick with. Yeah, and you know The things that will happen to you in that process when you figure it out will help you build character. Yeah, it's character building. It's who you are. It's just It's humbling. We all need to be humbled. It must be done. It must be done. Uh, but skinny dipping with a cigarette is something I think everyone should do. It was great. Felt spiritual. Next morning, woke up, had to go to the bridal shower for my friend Brianna. It was at home, so I had to wake up at 6am to get to Marina Bay by 9. We did not make it by 9. We are the worst bridesmaids ever. I woke up and genuinely was like, like, I was just simply not well. I did not have to drive thankfully. So I put my ass in the car and went to bed to drive Olivia. So Olivia drove me and Erin. I opened my eyes. Well, we were, we started driving and I said, Olivia, you got to pull over my girl, you, something's happening to me. And I pulled over, I looked at the ground projectiles and I said, do you have a napkin? And she said, no. No. So I looked to my right and the Cinderella gloves from the girl that she nannies for were the only thing looking back at me. So I said, I took the glove and I said, pat, pat, pat, pat, wipe. And she was like, so you're not going to keep those. So you're going to have to leave those here. So, to whoever she nannies for, I'm really sorry for ruining your Cinderella vibes, but I But they have to wash those! So I threw them out. Oh, okay. I was going to say, bare minimum! Oh, yeah, it was a wipe in my shit up with the Cinderella gloves, the poor, the poor gal. But she doesn't know, it's fine. She won't, she won't miss him. What doesn't know won't hurt her. Yeah, like, Olivia can buy her another pair, it's fine. It's fine. I'll Venmo you. Yeah, definitely. Tell Ms. Curl I'll Venmo you. I was at war. I was at war that day, I was catatonic, I was simply so fucking unwell. And, uh, Vibes were low. Morale was low. We got there. You know, we got the shit done. We set up. It was stonin It was in Marina Bay. Yeah. Love it. Love it. So nice. Uh, Brianna looked like she belonged in a magazine. Uh, could not relate. I, I, I, I thought you looked so like the dread, the pink dress was gorge. Oh, thank you. I thought you looked fab. Thank you. Sisterhood of the traveling dress. You want to know why? I was strolling through Target looking for vegan chicken nuggets because that's where I could find them. I was going to say that. That's what you're obsessed with right now. Yes. My new hyper fixation. It'll be over soon. Don't worry guys. Uh, I was walking through and I saw this dress and I said, wait, I kind of like that dress. They had it in, I bought it in two different colors and two completely different sizes, but like safe one. I think one was like a medium and the other one was like an XL. So it's like three sizes off, right? Yeah. They fit the exact same. What? Isn't that crazy? I literally want to bring the both of them to you so you can see and try them on. So I have one in yellow and I have one in pink and they fit the exact same. I think it would work differently for me because of height. I bet, I bet one would be flood pants and one would be to the floor. Okay, well, you know. But either way, circumference, circumference wise, it's, it fits like a glove. It's, it doesn't make any sense. So therefore I took that and said, you know what? I'm gonna buy it every fucking color. So if you see me at, see me in it in yellow. Wow. Mind your fucking business. Mind your business. Mind your business. But thank you. That's very nice of you. Yeah, you look great. I, at one point, my role in the shower was to do the ribbon bouquet. Yes. That was my role. Yeah, you take all the bows from the gifts and then you put them on the plate. Yep. Did you do that? I did do that and then I was kind of on the mic sometimes kind of like, you know, oh, look at that. You are on the mic from Auntie Woo. We love glasses. Like, just like very mc of me. Yeah. When her sister needed a minute, I'm like, okay, Ryan Secret. I'm like holding the bows. I'm like, what do we have in here? Yeah. Who gave you an amp? I dunno. I simply don't know who gave me the mic, but anyways, I did, but it was only for like a couple minutes, but like I was like living. It was great. I will say I did take a mimosa at one point next to the bar, but I had to go back to my role and I had to put it down. And someone took my half drink mimosa and drank it. Bastards. Like they didn't know, like they thought it was new because it was like, they put a bunch at the bar. They should go to jail. No, it was an accident, but I'm like, oh that's really gross, I'm sorry, I was just throwing up. So like, I'm wicked sorry that you just drank my drink thinking it was new. Because it wasn't. And I had Splatoon into it. At one point. Yikes. Yikes. At 1.0, they had chicken broccoli and ziti and chicken parm. Mm. I was so un well though. I ate it. Anyways, uh, flash forward an hour later, puking for mimosas chicken, parm, chicken, broccoli, ziti, ozempic. Think of all those things for like, for like nine seconds. I didn't eat the bread'cause I'm like, oh, ozempic. I can't have the bread shoves her face with the fucking pasta. You dumb bitch. I went to the bathroom. Well, so I went to the bathroom and they had a men's room and a woman's room. There was one stall. I'm like, oh, there's no men here. Yeah, but isn't it an event space? So there are other events going on at the same time? No, it was just us. We booked out the whole thing. So I was like, oh, cool. So I'll go in the men's room. No one's around. No one's even in the women's room. So I go in, I'm like, oh god. Why didn't you just go in the women's room if no one was there? Because I figured eventually a woman would come before a man would. You needed privacy for an extended period of time. For like ten minutes. Maybe. Five. I don't know. Time is, time is, I don't know what time is. Time is a flat circle. Time doesn't make any sense to me. I am releasing, I'm releasing Toxins. Demons. Having a moment. Breathing. Splashing water. Like, it's a whole thing. Were you nude? Were you at that point? No, I wasn't. I pulled up my dress. This is what I do. Pull up my dress. Pull it up past my ass. And I tuck, I grab it to the front and I tuck it in between, I tuck it in between my titties. Colleen. What? We don't need the visual. Oh, you don't? Okay. So I had Spanx on, so I pulled the Spanx down, and sometimes when I gag, I pee a little bit. So I shove toilet paper up my, my, my poussoir, just in case I gag a little too hard, I don't want to pee my pants. And like, you know. I haven't been on the spankaroos. Get it right, get it tight. So there I was. Record scratch. You're probably thinking to yourself, How did I get here? I said, I know exactly why I'm here. I earned this. I earned this, for sure. I did this to myself. I am in the squatting position. Toilet paper out my poussoir. Dry heaving. Releasing toxins, demons, fuckin Last Thanksgiving dinner. And I, I get myself together, I give myself a little I can't breathe. A little flip of the hair, flip flop, she's glowing. Easy breezy beautiful cover girl. I open the door and I'm faced with a line. Of men. Women, which you might be worse. If it was men, I'd at least be like, I don't know. One of them was my best friend, from high school, Aaron, who happened to be at the shower. And she looked at me like this. Cause she knew, you know, like other people are probably like, oh, that girl was taking a fucking huge shit. Was it one stall? It was one stall. And you know I like, put my foot up to fucking flush it, like it was one of those like, oh I gotta get out of here. Oh my god. I actually don't think I told anyone this. Not even anyone I was with that day. I am so happy that was just all recorded for our listeners. Erin looked at me like this. High school Erin. Not the Erin I always talk about. High school Erin. I was gonna say high school Erin. So she knew obviously and I was just like, I'm not doing well man. Everybody knows it. But I didn't, I just didn't give a fuck honestly. I just, I just didn't. And I don't. Listen, you had to do some exorcisms. It happens to the best of us. You know where I went right after? Right to the bar garden on the Meemaw. The way the fucking good lord intended it to be. Okay? So then the shower ends, we're like, packing up fucking pictures of them both, and like, candles, and place settings and shit, I don't fucking know. All these nice, beautiful things. I'm popping balloons. You're like, I'm popping balloons while my I'm cross eyed popping balloons. And like, Oh, so pretty. You're so great. You know, you know? Yeah. And we're doing like, who knows? Okay. We did who knows the bride best. She filled it out and then gave it to her sister who was the maid of honor. And then was like, I literally have no idea what I just put line on every single one of them. Like to the point where, when her sister would read the real ones, we were like, what? Well, you don't like that. That's not true. I've actually been to one of those where they read it out. I'm like, that's straight up. Not true. She's like, I don't know. I blacked out. I'm like, what do you mean? Okay. Anyways, not the point. Yeah. I leave. They, we were in Marina Bay, which if you're from anywhere in the area or been to Marina Bay, there's a bunch of bars, so we were kind of bopping around. And I was sitting at the bar at one point and I was, I had become the chair. Like, I was like, not one conversation is invigorating me right now. If I have to speak, I'm in physical pain. All of y'all are fucking boring me to death. It's her I gotta go. It's her entire fucking family and every single one of my friends. And I am actually like No, like, people I would enjoy being around normally, but I was like this. Zombie. With an Aperol spritz. Like, she looks like she's dying. I look like the Whitakers. That's, that's the family. Oh, no. No, I do. Not the Appalachian family. Though, that video really fucked my shit up. I hope they find peace. I do. I'm just saying. I really hope they find peace. But you are, you are know what? Actually, they are at peace. They are fucking living. Yes, they are. Look, they're so happy. I was going to say they might just be, they're fine. Yeah. They're fine to us. We're like, Oh wow. But like comparing, they're so happy. They're so happy. So it's fine. They don't have Instagram. They're not really thriving. They're not comparing themselves to anyone. Oh yeah. We're not offending them. Don't worry. Yeah. Okay. Seriously. Why did I get worried that if we were fending, the Whitakers would come for us? No, they don't even know where they are. They're That's not even meant to be rude. They don't even know what a podcast is. And I'm like, no, we can't. You can't talk about them like that. Oh, so I say, I'm, I must go. And so I leave for an hour. I go home. I start snoring on the couch for an hour. I get up. I change my clothes. I go right back. You just needed a nap? Oh, yeah. But I was like, if I stay here any longer, you will see a CU next Tuesday. I will get cranky. I'll snap. You will breathe near me and I will be a bitch. I will steal a leather jacket or a jean jacket. That's not even me being a bitch, that's me being manic. Like, me being a bitch is me being like this. Explain. Stank face. No words. No words being spoken. Just looks. Indefinite, like, up down with the eyes. And I can't help it. And you're just like But it's not like I feel that way. It's just like how I present. Anyway, so I go home, take a nap, come back, all is well. I looked at Erin around midnight and said, I am not strong. I must go. I must Irish goodbye. They had not left, we were at the same fucking place. I was like, which I was having fun, more people have joined us since then, more friends. Right, it's a party. But I said, I am, I am weak. Well you also have had, this is now your third day of it. Yes. It's not like you just did this in one day. This is now. Oh yeah. Comes from struggling. Started from the bottom, now we're here. I'm like, I got french fries on the way, I gotta go. Yeah. I door dashed. Gotta go home. I have, I was, Trying to finish Dairy Girls and couldn't. Comatose. Could not. Could not. And I could, I could stay up for a show. Stay up. Could not. And then I woke up the next day and went to work. Which brings me to my segment on I want to have a hate flower for a minute. Okay. I can get, I can try. I can try. No, but I'm gonna try. We'll get positive later. Okay, but for right now we have to have hateful hour. I'm fucking ready Okay, so like get your get your brain. Yes, and putting on my hate cap Sidebar Aaron looked at me yesterday. Oh Two things actually, sorry Aaron looked at me yesterday and said in one month give or take a few days, maybe like a couple days included the two of us have gone to attended one engagement Two bridal showers and three bachelorettes. Yeah. Welcome to being 27 in one month. Yes, that's correct. Could not be more single. Yep. How sickening is that? I've done it many, many times. It's a very specific phase in life. You'll do this for a couple of years and then it will be baby showers. And it's not like I have so many friends. Like, that's not the case. I mean, you do, you have two groups of friends. Yeah, but like, it's not like I have, like, you know when people have like You don't say but you don't have two. So many best friends. It's not like I'm one of those people, is what I'm trying to say. Yeah. That's all. So that's crazy talk. Two, I have tried to get back into taping my mouth when I'm sleeping. Colleen. Some of the past two nights, I've been trying. The amount of things that we do. To MacGyver the problem instead of just going to fix the problem. It could take You know what? No, we're having hayflower. That fucking sucks, Colleen. What happened this time? Fuck that tape. Past two nights, I said, you know what? Strap him up. And we strapped him up, we slept like we're in a coffin, like that's the vibe. Woke up, not on my mouth. Can't find it. We feel as though we've swallowed it. You never found it? I still can't find either one of them, two nights in a row. You're swallowing the tape? I think I might be. Oh, what kind of tape are you using? I don't know. It's like, it's like, it's, it's X shaped. It's like for sleeping. Yeah. And I don't know. I can't find them. They're not in my bed. Are you shitting them out? It's not, no. I mean, I don't know. I don't look at my shit. Okay, well, maybe you should because the tape's gonna come out. I don't know because I don't wild out in my sleep. Like, I sleep like a corpse. So I don't, it's not like I'm like throwing them across the room. It's a different type of tape worm. Yeah, something's not right and I can't, I can't find the tape. I wake up, not on my mouth. And it's nowhere to be found. It's not in the bed? No, it's not pillow? Oh, I, no. You've done a surge. Yes, I've done a third. You're eating tape in your sleep. Two nights in a row. You are swallowing tape in your sleep. Sidebar, Fiona blacked out and I saw Fruit Roll Ups on The Bachelorette and I said, Fiona and Erin are suckers for like gushers, Fruit Roll Ups, like they were. Yeah, I'm not a candy girl. Yeah, they grew up like that. I did not. So I'm like, I don't get the hype. Same with like juices and shit. Like no, I was drinking, I was drinking Diet Coke. I did love a Fruit Roll Up. They're alright. I like the ones with the tattoos for the tongue. Yeah, of course you do. But, she ate five of them, with the plastic. On it? Fully? Five? Yes. Back to back? She's like, my stomach hurts. I'm like, oh, I wonder why? Oh my god! She's gonna be constipated for two weeks. She's already constipated, she's fine. She's fine. You open up her drawer, we have a She's a fuckin doctor for that shit, I'll tell ya. Oh my god, your poor stomach. Five plastic bags. You fucking better get it out of your system now, because I'll tell you what, in six years you're going to be in the fucking ER. Your body is not going to handle it the same way. I've never been to the ER for anything. Knock on fucking wood, Colleen, please. Oh, sorry, knock on the noggin. Jesus. Anywho. The point of this story was, I went to work on Sunday, with a half a brain. Uh, I went to waitress and forgot the fucking Celtics were on. Mmhmm. Which is tough. Happy, but not because it's on a Sunday. So, people are coming in, on a Sunday, not drinking. Maybe having one drink to watch the game and sitting there for fucking five hours. I was there until midnight With people not drinking the windows are open. The mosquitoes are fucking eating me alive. I had Specifically what set me off to write this down was I had two people that came in and they literally had hoods on. Very quiet, very mumbly, might have smelled like weed, not judging about that. I don't give a fuck about that. But anyways. I hate mumblers. And mumblers. I can't hear you. I can't hear what you're saying. The game is absolutely blasting. They sit down and two grown ass adults. Ask me for Shirley Temple's. You're already on my, you're already on my fucking shit list. To jail. To jail! If you're a grown adult and you're asking me for a Shirley Temple, get the fuck out of the establishment. Actually, you shouldn't be allowed to leave your house. Sorry, I don't care. So I bring them that and then they order food and what he says to me, I can't hear. So I go, what? And he's like, let me get a chicken bar. Can I, can I, and I'm, I go, what? I'm sorry. And then after, and I'm not rude at all. If anything, I'm like, I'm sorry, what'd you say? you're like overly nice. At this point of the evening, I go, what? I go, sorry, what? Like, rude. I, I can't help it. Just hoods up, hunched over the table. And then, so that was already annoying, they eat. I kind of ignore them at this point because I'm like, I don't give a fuck about these people. I give them the bill and he says, how do I, he goes, how do I tip? I go, what? How do I, how do I tip? How old are these people? Probably mid twenties. Don't leave your fucking house. You should literally not be allowed to leave your house. And so I said, so I'm going to run your card and then you can do it. Oh, okay. Google it. Okay, okay, okay. Do you want to know how much they left me? How much? Three dollars. For what type of bill? Sixty or seventy. I was like, so that was one. And then I had a table, they were very nice, I will say. They just were kind of, kind of weird. Standoffish, if you will. Which not everybody's going to be like, Oh my God, hi, how are you? I'm so glad to be out to eat. Like, it's fine. I don't give a fuck. But I had a table, there was like seven of them and seven or eight. And they were from a high school. I think they might've been not teachers, but maybe like music, part of a band of some sort. A little quirky. Couple couples, couple singles. Seven separate checks. So, okay, as a waitress, I used to do this all the time. I just assume it's going to be separate. No, never. Nowadays, with Venmo. With Venmo? Is it wicked annoying? Oh my god, no. No one does that nowadays. At all. No one asks for separate checks. Yeah, if you do, it's weird. Seriously. Oh, I do it all the time. Really? Yeah, we do it with my friends all the time. Oh my god, we never do it. Well, I will say, a lot of my friends We just take a picture of the bill. Oh my god. Well, a lot of my friends are pregnant or were in the, so I didn't want people to like get charged for alcohol when they weren't drinking. So it's a little different when you get older, but I do understand with Venmo, you should just be able to take a picture of it. Someone usually wants the points or whatever the fuck. Yeah. Like I, I have friends that don't drink, so like we'll take a picture of the bill and like one person will pay and then like maybe like two days later someone will Venmo request. and when it's, the game is on, it's wicked loud. It's wicked busy, and you're out here getting french onion soup and want a separate check. And also they don't tell you till after. If you had told me prior, I could have grouped it before that. So just tell you up front, this is what I wanna do. So then after I'm like, what the fuck did you, I, because I didn't think to think about it. Do you know what I mean? Like I, I'm like, what did you get? I don't remember now. Yeah, so now you're having to go back and be like, can you, yeah. I've already taken your plates away. I've already, I'm like, When there's already a bunch of other shit going on. So I was already annoyed. Anyway, which brings me to these are my legit X that I just have been writing down all week given my current service situation. Yeah. Well, X as a waitress, X, big waitress X. If you know, you know, when you go over to a table and you're clearing, they're completely empty plates and someone goes, Oh, we hated it as the joke. My dad used to do that all the time. Clearly we hated it. Here's the thing. If your dad said it, I would have laughed. Yeah, of course. Of course. But it's just like, but I will go back and I'll go, oh, you want me to box that off? Like, I'll continue on with the joke. Oh, okay. So it's fine. I like that banter. But like sometimes I'm like, it's the sixth time today. Heavy eye roll. Yeah, heavy eye roll. I'm good. Okay. Enough with that joke. I'm done with it. People who ask for things without ice. One, you're weird. And two, you're not getting more alcohol. Oh, do you think that's what's happening? They think that sometimes. But if you're getting like a Diet Coke with no ice, you're a creep. Getting a soda with no ice is wild to me. Getting alcohol and not asking for ice, or a little less ice, I could see. Yes. But you're, but they're measuring it out the same. Yeah, so I, I don't know, I just, I think you're stupid if you think you're getting more alcohol, like you're an idiot. I've had people ask for doubles, which is illegal in the state of Massachusetts, and I'm just like, yeah sure. And I put it as a tall glass. You could bring it in as a tall. It's like 2 more. I think you just get more liquid. Are you saying something illegal? No, that's not illegal. That's it's literally illegal to ask. I'm going to have to cut this. No, no. So you're sure? Absolutely positive. I do not want to get you in trouble. No, you're not getting me in trouble. Swear. People have asked for doubles and you, you can't do a double, but if you bring it, like a picture of shit face person coming and going, give me a double. Like you're bringing a tall instead of a regular and they think it's a double. It's just, it charges. So you're charging them differently, but you're giving them the same amount. Pretty much. Yeah. They may be getting a little bit more alcohol, but it's not a double. It's illegal in the state of Massachusetts. So just get a regular. People still ask for them. Just in case you're wondering. I thought, I thought you were saying you give it to them anyway. No, no. Okay. If you go out and you ask for a double, you're not getting a double. So don't stop asking for doubles. It's illegal. Great, good to know. In case you wanted to know. The more you know everybody. That was a, that was just a helpful hint. Yeah. But they'll charge you a little bit more. Yeah. Anyway, it's not the point. When you approach a table with food in your arm that is currently scorching your arms and giving you third degree burns and you say like, oh, who got the chicken fingers? This drives me fucking crazy when my friends do this at a restaurant. And everyone stares at you like you're a fucking alien. Yep. I, this actually, I, I will literally be like, Who ordered, like it starts to stress me out when they're bringing food over here. You have four plates on your arms. You ordered it. Just listen for your order, and then just go, that was me, so it makes passing it out easier. Yeah. That drives me fucking nuts, and I haven't been a waitress in a long ass time. If someone doesn't answer, and then like eventually someone's like, Oh, she did, like whatever, I'll put it down and go, Oh, I thought you did. I knew it. Because I have to be, I just have to let What, are you not listening? What the fuck are you doing? Yeah, you're annoying. You're looking me in the eye as I list back your order. I will be like, Oh, I knew it! And if they don't respond, I don't care, I feel better. Bitch. I don't care if you feel any way, I feel better. I feel great, actually. If it's 90 degrees outside, the windows are open and you're asking me for a hot tea or a fucking hot water with lemon. Crazy. Go home. You actually shouldn't be allowed to leave your house. I was gonna say, anemic. That's the only, that's the only option. I'm sorry. Unless you're constantly cold, what the fuck are we doing here? No. No. Not even then. Sometimes I say, we're out. We're out. 86 the hot water, 86 me. I'm outta here. I'm fuckin outta here. When you're walking over with drinks, and you put them down, and you have straws in your, your, pouch, apron, and before you can put the drink down, they say, can we have Give me a fucking minute. Give me a second. Give me a minute. Actually, no, you can't. Because you're killing the turtles. You, single handedly, are killing the turtles. It's not the rich people who fly their private jets everywhere. It's you. It's ya. It's ya. I love the cute children that come out. I don't love the parents that let them do that. I was gonna say, let them order. I've talked about it before. I was gonna say, you've said it before. I had an experience again that I was like, this can't be real. Seriously. Seriously. With the children being like, And they're like, what do you, tell the nice lady what you want. Did you want noodles? Or did you want a chicken tender? Chicken nugget! We don't have chicken nuggets, bitch. Sorry, we have chicken tenders. And there's, I'm getting triple sat, it's a hundred degrees, and That's so dramatic. I'm acting like it's a war zone in the restaurant that I work at, but it's like, can you not look around? I sometimes I'll legit like ignore them and like look around the restaurant so they can at least like kind of pick up like I'm, I'm busy, you know? I hate you. That's all. You're ruining my life. Guys, I told you. I hate Flower. I hate Flower. So back to the positive. Jon Taffer's at my work right now and I can't find him. How are you planning on finding him? I don't know. I've been trying to scheme. He doesn't have any reservations. He doesn't have any spa treatments. I've been trying to look. If someone's staying at my work, I'mma find them. Yeah, you always do. I'mma find them. And I'll be slick about it. Okay. I finished Airy Girls. Okay. I'm depressed. Okay. I think that you should do an episode on Northern Ireland IRA beef. I told you one thing one time. Mm hmm. And now you are coming in with, here are the next few topics we're going to do. And I love it. I, cause every time I ask, you're like, I don't really know, I like, I get it, because of the way that our dads talk about it. But I don't get it. You need me to break down. Yes, I don't, I, I understand the whole Protestants were not happy with the Catholics because they were too strict going off sleigh by. I don't get, I want to know. You need Derry Girls felt, and I don't get it. Okay. And I wanted to, I feel you would have felt more powerful to me when they were voting. It's, yeah, it's very much I don't, I felt it, but yet didn't feel it the way that I wanted to. Does that make sense? Okay, yes. Bridget, explain that to the people. No, I, I think you did a good job where you were watching a show where you didn't have enough context so when a big part happened you could feel that something big was happening but you didn't know what it was because you didn't understand it. Correct. And you would like to know that in the future. Yeah, I still wept. And you want me to do it. Correct. Got it. On it. Add it to the list of topics everybody. I was minding my business this week watching TV with Erin and Fiona and my issue is that when we eat dinner sometimes like I'll sit on the floor and like eat off the like the coffee table. I, they need to put something on I can't listen to myself chew. Like if we're sitting in silence, you're both on your phone. That's a bit tisamy. Someone needs to put a sound on. I'm gonna lose my fucking mind. So I put on, so I put on Reba the other day. I've been watching Reba. What in the past? Who in our life is changing fast? Who I am is who I wanna be. Anyways, I put it on and I finished dinner, we're kind of tuning in a little bit, kind of talking, kind of watching, whatever. And I'm thinking to myself, hmm, and I've watched it, just not in order, because I used to watch it literally on TV with my dad. I've ever watched it from beginning to end and there's like seven seasons and i'm like wow This is kind of weird like they're very like this seems like the end type of vibe And all of a sudden they're taking like a family photo and they're like, isn't it crazy? Like they make it like a joke like I came in six years ago and now here we are whatever And ruba goes. Yeah You know what? We did it because we're survivors It fucking ends That was I didn't even realize it was the fucking last episode. You didn't realize it was the finale So I finished jerry girls and reba on the same night by accident Oh, that's a tough, that's tough, that's tough. I, I feel for you on that one. I go, you guys. The end of a show is hard. I think this is the last episode. And she goes, Reba goes, Cause we're survivors. Ends. Bridget? Did you cry? Oh, of course I did. But I waited until I got my room and privacy, obviously. Like, you can't catch me crying about Reba. Like, please. A show that hasn't been on. It's the best show. It shaped this country. Reba should run for president. Seriously. I think Dolly should. I'm a huge fucking fan of Dolly Parton. I am too. I love everything that comes out of her mouth. But. Everything. I don't know. Reba over, Reba over Dolly. I will fight you to the death on this and I mean that very literally. Really? I will absolutely fight you to the death. Do you know anything about Reba? don't need to, I know enough about dolls. Wait, have you actually watched Rebo before? I have, yeah, yeah, yeah. In order? Back in the day, not from beginning to end. Bridget, please, I beg of you. No, I'm so serious, like. No, I, I've seen it, I know what it is. I see that house and I'm like, in comfort. Oh, that's really nice. It's one of those. It's, that's really nice. You simply must watch it. Okay, thank you, bye. Okay, bye. I started How I Met Your Mother. Mind you, I watched How I Met Your Father with Hilary Duff. And I loved it. It got cancelled. Wait, sorry. You watched How I Met Your Father before watching How I Met Your Mother? Yeah, I didn't realize they'd be the same. Are you brain dead? Why the fuck would you do that? I don't know. It was new. How I Met Your Mother, it must be watched first. So now that I've watched like two episodes, I'm like, holy shit, they just copied it. I didn't realize. Bitch. So, yeah, gonna, uh, more, more to come there, guys. Yeah, for real. More to come there, gang. Uh, Mean Girls, Mean Girls. Hated it. Hated it. Oh, the movie. Hated it. And I love a musical. I love Mean Girls. Hated it. I was gonna say. Love Renée Rapp. Still hated it. Sorry. Oh, Renée Rapp. Is so fucking talented. She's iconic, but I saw her voice is incredible. Yeah, there were parts of it So my one of my favorite songs from the musical is I'd rather be me and it's the Janis Ian song when they sing It's the part where she does the trust fall. She's like a big Grudge on you. Whatever that is suck on that that song is called I'd rather be me and it is a powerhouse song and In the show it is so fucking good. She's just running around the school I'm like, what is what is this if you can like you want to fast forward no It not just like bopping from room to room like running full speed as if it was one camera following her through the hole I'm like, what is that? What is even happening? I hated it Yeah, it was tough. It was tough for me. Damien was great My favorite part. Yeah. Renee Rapp and Damian. 100%. Practical Magic 2. No one talked to me. I saw that the other day. I can't even. I posted it. I, listen. It has to be them though. If it's not, I'm going to be so fucking upset. If it's not, I, okay. Can we just say now though, because you do this a lot. What? We must set the bar low. Yeah, bar is low. We must, remember when Hocus Pocus 2 came out? We were absolutely devastated. That was a crime. Okay. So like, let's. Let's say this. Bar is very low. Only thing we want no matter what the plot is. Midnight Margaritas, whoever. No, Sandra and Nicole.'cause they would a hundred percent sign on. I was gonna say there's no way Sandy B. No, they want, wait, let's look in their Wikipedia. Nicole. It's on their filmography. No, not yet.'cause they're still in talks for it. They always predu it. No, they have to be signed on and I don't think they're signed up there. Talk. No, don't do IMBD. What are you talking about? Do Wikipedia? Is it on there? No, they're still in, that's what I mean, they're still in talks. It's not set in stone yet. They have a script, and they want to do it, but they have not signed on yet. Whatever, if Colin Hoover can fucking do that shit and proceed, we can make it work. Is there anything else you would like to discuss before I get into the actual topic of the day? No, because the only article I had was about a hot dog eating contest, so we're good. Those, I fucking hate those. Well, we have a big, a big one coming up. Targeting contest? I think they're disgusting. Cause your dad, he kills your dad? No. The murder weapon? Sorry, was that like not what No! Oh my god, please Colleen. Uh, no, I think they're a complete waste of food when there's many starving people and I actually think the actual act of it is disgusting where they're dipping it in water and sliding gullet when there's like people all over this country and this world who desperately And we're doing it for a silly? And we're doing it like for funsies to see See how much food we can eat. That's fair. It's gross. I think it's gross. But, if that is your jam, nevertheless, I digress. We shall not judge. I mean. Yeah, we will. What is the big hot, what do you mean there's a big one coming up? It's like a rivalry. Between fucking who? The top hot dog eaters. Two of the absolute top hot dog eaters. Are they top dogs? Yes. They 70 every single time. That's insane. Disgusting. I'm just sayin But they're almost done, so it's fine. Okay. But that was what my article was about. So. Cool. Yeah. So, I'd like to know what the topic of the day is. I need more. Why? Oh yes. Go pour I have literally no idea what today's topic is. This story is fucking crazy. It's one of those classic true crime stories that a lot of people know about. Is it one that Erin suggested? Because I feel like that's something, it is one that Erin suggested that was on my list and so this is the murder of Travis Alexander by Jody Arias. Have you ever heard her name? Oh yeah. Obviously Jody Aria. Okay, so my sources are Bailey Ian, obviously her episode my favorite, she does an episode called Love, Lies and Lust, What Really Happened with Jodi Arias, and an episode of Morbid. Ash does it in episode 270, and of course I used Wikipedia. So, okay. Let's start with Travis. Travis was born on July 28th in 1977 in Riverside, California. He has a really rough upbringing. He's one of eight siblings. Yikes. And both of his parents are addicted to meth. And they were abused in every way possible, and they were left to fend for themselves. So there were times his mom would be so fucked up on drugs she would sleep for days at a time. They ate a lot of spoiled food. Canned shit, their house was really dirty, just like, really, really rough. His father dies when he's seven. Yikes. And when he's eight, his grandmother, his paternal grandmother, so his grandmother on his father's side, takes all eight of them in. She takes all fucking eight kids to raise them. Yeah. His grandmother is a devout Mormon. And she introduces him to the church and he starts going pun intended religiously So he really latches on to the church and I'm assuming I mean, I can you even imagine? no community and consistency and faith and you know, a higher power. Of course, like this young kid who's been through all of this crap needs something like this. That makes total sense to me. So we get, he grows up, he gets older, and he moves to Mesa, Arizona, which is right by Phoenix. And he gets a job at Prepaid Legal, which is now called Legal Shields. And that's what I'm gonna call it from now on is Legal Shield. It's a multi level marketing scheme. It's an MLM company. Here we go. And it's very popular in the Mormon community. It's a sales job. And he does really, really well at this company. Like, he's thriving. It's also one of those, because it's an MLM, where the more people you get to join the company, the higher up you get. So he recruits all these people. Just think very culty, very drinking the Kool Aid type of stuff. But he loves his job. He becomes a spokesperson. Uh, he finds his passion in motivational speaking, where he talks about his upbringing and his work. challenges. He writes a book called Raising Me. He has a blog. He buys a home and he's able to rent out multiple rooms to friends. He has a big tight knit group of friends that love him. He's doing well at the company. I mean, everything's kind of coming up roses for Travis. Finally, after everything he's been through. Until he meets a woman named Jodi Arias. So let's talk about her for a second. This fucking crazy bitch. Men are, men love crazy though. Yeah. Yes. If you're really hot. She's not. She thinks she is. That makes me sick. Yeah. So let's So should we just be delusional and think we're wicked fucking hot? We are hot. No, I know, but you know what I mean, like extra, like very Amy Schumer and I am pretty. Oh, like full DeLulu. No, that's what I mean. Yeah. Oh, a hundred percent. This is not me saying we're ugly. No, no, we're not. We're so fucking cute. Cute as a little button. Okay, so Jodi Arias was born on July 9th, 1980 in Salinas, California. She's the oldest of three and everything said about her childhood is normal. She even at one point refers to her childhood as ideal. So, nothing is amiss. To make her crazy. Until middle school. Her behavior becomes super shitty. Her parents move her to the literal bumfuck nowhere of California, some rural ass town, but her dad is sick and they were moving to be closer to family. She hates it here. Hates it. Yikes. So, she starts smoking pot in the 8th grade and she's wild and crazy and she attempts to grow weed in a Tupperware container. Like to grow her own plant and they find it on the roof her parents find it on the roof I think she was trying to use the light Photosynthesis anyone? I don't know eighth graders doing eighth grader shit. So they go through her room They're like, well, we're obviously gonna check her room to see if there are drugs because you're growing it on the roof So they also call like the local sheriff. Nothing bad happens to her for the record this ruins She won't speak to them. Ruins their relationship. She wouldn't tell them anything. She said they completely invaded her space and broke all of her trust. This is like a weird ass turning point. She writes in her diary a lot. She's like, I feel out of place and I don't belong. Bitch, you're a teenager. You're a teenager. Listen to Avril Lavigne and shut the fuck up. Did you have a diary? I think briefly. But I'm not I wrote to Shannon a lot. Like there are letters to me and Shannon and I would write on Pooh Bear stationery, which is like the cutest thing on the planet. And so I would write to her what's going on, but I didn't have like a diary. Where I like wrote down my thoughts and feelings of the day. Did you? Yeah, that makes sense But I would get bored of it, you know, you what I would get bored of it hyper fixation You probably did it every day Yeah twice a day for like six months and then was like, you know, this is gross and so immature My mom would like take it and like read it. So I stopped. Oh, yeah. See, yeah, that's What was my tea back in like the fucking third grade? I heart this man. Yeah He digs at the playground and I know he'll be a union man one day. He's built like a phy hydrant. No, because that's true. I know. I won't reveal him because I know someone who knows someone that listens to this pod and it will get brought back. Anyways, not the point. We'll talk about it after. Anyway. I have one of those ones that like you could lock. Lock, yeah. Or a heart lock. No, no, no, no. I didn't have one of those. It was voice. Activated so you'd have to say a passcode do an open. Oh how 2000s. Yeah, we were old school. You had a key No, there's no voice, but then I couldn't figure out how to get back into it You know what? That would make sense that you would put a voice lock on your diary and then forget I would take a hammer to it If I could find it right now I would do I'll do a deep dive of my parents soon and I will tell you guys what I find Oh, I'm still looking for the song the golden rose. I don't know if I might not have that That's so fucking rude. Okay, how dare you bring that up and then not show receipts? I'll try to find it Anyway in high school, she finds her passion which is taking photos She took photos wherever she could but she's really struggling and she ends up dropping out at 16 and she moves into a trailer with her boyfriend Bobby Okay, Bobby. She starts working at a local Denny's, and she pays for all of their bills, and Bobby is just a fucking leech. They're so de He's so dependent on her. He's a mooch. He's the worst. They're obsessed with each other, and he cheats on her so they break up. Okay, so she's a hustler her parents described her as intelligent but strange Imagine imagine your parents describing you as that I mean they thought she was bipolar because she'd be totally fine one second and then in a complete blind range the next she was verbally abusive, very verbally abusive towards her mother specifically. She never took responsibility for her actions. And when she was with Bobby, her friends would call her parents and be like, we're really worried. She's lashing out at us for no reason. Things are just not great. Regardless, she ends up moving again and she's a waitress and then she's working at a spa. She ends up taking this guy named Daryl. And Daryl has a kid. And so she's like helping this single dad like raise his kid and I guess everything was going pretty well But she wanted a family and he didn't want any more kids and this is so important to her They break up which is a totally valid reason But to to know how this all ends and realize that this woman was trying to procreate I can't so whatever She's like I need to make more money. The spa money and the waitress money You're just not cutting it for me anymore, and I'm gonna go find a job You Welcome, LegalShields, the MLM company. Got it. In September 2006, LegalShields has a work conference in Vegas. All expenses paid. People coming in, listening to motivational speakers, getting training, whatever the fuck. They're having dinner. At the Rainforest Cafe. Okay. First of all, pause for the cause. No hate against the Rainforest Cafe whatsoever. Give me all the dino nuggets. But imagine your company is like, Hey, I'm sending you to Vegas. You're all going out for dinner one night. You guys are all expecting Italian or steak. And they're like, we're sending you to the Rainforest Cafe. I'm not upset. Oh my God. You know the story about my Rainforest Cafe experience? With Nana. I think about it all the time. Yeah, of course. So, they're eating at the Rainforest Cafe, Jodi is there with a group of people. I'm sorry. No, it's a good sidebar. We were talking about malls the other day at work. Yeah. And I said that, they were like, Sellshore Mall and like, Square One Mall. And I said, oh, Square One Mall is terrible. Like, and they were like, oh, Burlington. And I was like, so the Burlington Mall reminds me of death. Because I feel like every single time someone died, and like, we would be like, oh, that's Perched at the home base like planning and things you'd go to eat at the Burlington Mall Yeah We would go to Regina's at the Burlington Mall and we like that like I just I can't I can't correlate the Burlington Mall with Anything else so it's so funny cuz like some families don't have that Do you know it's so so I know it's so crazy But I said this at work Some people don't have malls that attach to death because some people only have people who die like once every ten years Full on cannot relate and I said, oh, where did the cousins go? They go to the Burlington Mall and they go to the food court. Yeah You That's where we go. And we sit. We need something quick. But we still want to hang. So we We sit with the red tray. And we sit. And we eat in silence. And then someone makes a really dark joke. And then we giggle. And then we cry. And then we leave. Yeah, so I said that and I was met with silence and I said, that's not normal. So we're weird. Yeah, so we're weird. So honestly, can I say something? It's so annoying to me though, because obviously I have more baggage than Logan Airport. I joke about my trauma all the time. If you've listened to this podcast, hi, hello, welcome. It's so frustrating to me though, that when I make a dark joke, people are like, whoa, you have the audacity. I want to be like, do you know what's worse than you hearing that joke? All, all of what I have. Just giggle. Just shut the fuck up and giggle at my joke. Yeah, I agree. Oh, you are uncomfortable for five seconds over a joke I made about my dead family? I'm sorry. That must be really hard for you. Do you know what I mean? Yes, yeah. Anyway, so if your friend makes a dark joke, just fucking giggle and get over yourself. That's my hateful corner, my hateful list, whatever you call it. In fact, the Burlington Mall, it's deaf. I'm just kidding. I love the Burlington Mall. That's what's so annoying. It has such good stores. Yeah. Anyway, so Travis is doing really well at this company. They're all eating dinner. Jodi is at dinner. Travis walks up. He introduces himself to the group. Him and Jodi immediately hit it off. Talked all of dinner. Even their coworkers were like, damn, these two are just magnets. They stay up until 4 a. m. In the hotel lobby, talking about life, religion, everything you could possibly imagine. Oh, Jesus Christ. The next day, he tells people, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Imagine someone saying that to you. But, she's not Mormon, and I have to marry a Mormon. Everyone turns Mormon, you know? Does everyone? Name one Mormon you know. Name one single Mormon. Oh, I don't know a Mormon. I don't live in Utah, but, you know, out in that area, that realm of the world. Thank you. I just feel like, it's like, Converting's easy. I feel like I'm always hearing like, Oh, he's Jewish. I would, I would convert to Judaism. I'm like, you know. I think you have to go through some schooling. No, yes. It's not like you wake up one day and you're suddenly a Mormon. I meant like, people are more open to converting for that reason. I think, yeah. Sure. That's my thoughts. I also am basing that off of, you know, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. I was gonna say, I don't know a single person who's converted, but Oh, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Heather Gay wrote a book about it, Escaping Mormonism, like it's like a whole thing. It's a thing. Yeah. So Jodi is now dating someone totally different, but she goes back to California and Travis goes back to Arizona, but they exchanged numbers and they're like, we're going to stay in touch. Jodi ends up going back and breaking up with her boyfriend because of course, and I just, I think about her ex boyfriends and I'm like, how do they feel? Now, after all of this comes out, how do they feel? So Travis and her stay in touch. He starts to educate her about Mormonism. He gives her a purity ring. Please, Jonas Brothers. And he gives her something that all women want, which are different paintings of Jesus. We've all seen the Passion of the Christ, and when he's at their home, please. So five months after they met. They were officially dating, and Jodi is baptized by Travis, and I have a photo. They're the ones in white. Correct. Cause he, he, I think the reason why he was so good at his job too, is he did a mission. He's kinda cute. No, they're both attracted, like they're both, for the early 2000s? She's fucked though. So I mean she's crazy. So you know what I noticed recently? What? People Children who are like 15 to like 17 don't aren't ugly. No, it's so annoying. They aren't ugly You need to have a humbling stage of your teenage years. No, they don't. That are Shameful. No TikTok. Have you seen those TikToks where it's like me dancing? When I was a kid versus the kids now. I'm upset. It's ridiculous. I'm literally upset. Stop going to Sephora. Stop it. Is it, what are they putting in the food nowadays? Get fucking braces instead of Invisalign and shut up. I was a new guy at work the other day, they talked to me for like an hour about how they put GMOs in milk and that's why everyone's taller. And fatter. Oh. He goes, go to Canada. They don't have plastic. I was like, okay. I'm in America. On it. Getting on it. And that's why I'm fat. Stop. Sorry. So, okay. So she's baptized. They still live in different states. A thing they like to do is they like to go on vacation together because it was easier sometimes for, instead of them meeting in the middle or one person's versus the other person's place, they would just both travel to one spot. She would take her camera. They would take lots of pictures. pictures and they even bought a book that was the a thousand places you have to see before you die and they were like Going through the book together and just traveling around and crossing things off. They're giving glorified pen pals However, things were far from perfect. They were so fucking toxic and they were Always in contact with each other. Always. Constantly on multiple different platforms. During their relationship, they sent 82, 000 emails to each other. 82, 000! Why are people emailing? On top of using gchat during the day. Why are they using gchat? Bitch. Should we start e mailing? Also, no. Please god, no. I do not need your random ass thoughts. Boundaries. Giving baby reindeer. We're like, the things we're Why you no love me? Where the words are are all fucked up and it says send for my phone at the bottom. Don't baby rain near me, please. Also, MySpace was a thing. Oh, yeah. So they're my, like, the whole thing. So anytime Jodi and Travis are actually together, she would physically sit on top of him. Or just be all over him she said this that everyone in the vicinity when you looked at them needed to know that they were together. And if you didn't think that, she was doing something wrong. Okay, so like mental illness? For real. She didn't even like when he, she didn't like when he talked to women no matter how platonic. Did not matter. Hmm. This gets brought up often in the case or else I wouldn't say it because I don't care. But, it's a, it's a big part of it. They were sexting and phone sexting all of the time. Their, their relationship was high into the sexual, some kinkiness, because, also, who fucking cares, right? Like, who cares? However, premarital sex In Mormon. In the Mormon religion is a huge no no. Yeah. And he is really struggling. Travis is is struggling with his faith in how much he believes. Oh, so they aren't wanking, Oh no, they are fucking everywhere, all the time. Oh, they are? So he's not a, he's not a chumaw man. He, quote unquote, is giving into temptation. Oh no, so yeah, no. He tells his friends he's addicted to her. Oh, mental illness. Like, they are just. Like fire and rain. Camp Rock. Ew. Travis was worried about how much premarital sex they were having and he said that he was worried the relationship wasn't pure enough to evolve into a marriage. Oof. So they're just banging. They're either banging or they're talking about banging. Okay, cool. Travis's friends and family, plot twist, don't like Jodi. I wonder why. And she's just giving everyone super bad vibes. She follows him everywhere, to the point when when she is visiting, when he goes to the bathroom, she waits outside of the bathroom door. Good lord, these people. She is constantly reading his messages, his emails, she hacks his MySpace, she reads through his DMs. Travis's friend, so at one point she's in the house, she's like downstairs and he's in his room and Travis lived with a married couple, a Mormon married couple and both of them go in and they're like, listen, She is not good for you. She is so toxic. She is so crazy. You need to get away from her We are so worried about you And as they're chatting the wife because women always fucking know is like she I says super low She's outside the door right now in Travis is like no, she's not no She's not and she goes go check and he like tiptoes to the door Whips it open to like not in she fucking standing there dead behind the eyes It is like oh, I thought something was wrong and I was just coming to check to see if everything was okay You She's gonna kill him. And, yes she is. That's a, that's the story. I thought she killed her child. No, she murders him. Oh, I don't remember this at all. I call Ian. That's exactly what happens. So, they, even his friends were like, Hey, you're way too possessive over him. It's not healthy. She does not give a fuck. But Travis says it's over. It's better if we're apart, don't contact me anymore. There was also another time, they tend to do this because there was another time that Jodi caught Travis flirting with another girl in his messages. She dumps him and he crawls back to her, begs her to take him back to the point where he even proposes. And she takes him back but says no to the proposal and they get back together. So now he's dumping her. This does not stop. Jodi, when he breaks up with her, she's writing him tons of emails. She then starts to tell him that she has a stalker, and the stalker is saying, you don't, Travis doesn't deserve you. You should be with me instead. But he's, and Travis is like, guys. I'm so, I feel so bad for her. She has this man who's, and they're like, bitch, She's lying. She's gaslighting you. She's gaslighting you so you take her back. She wants your sympathy. Stop. Like, stop feeling bad for her. So Jodi does what every sane single woman does when you're broken up with, and she moves ten minutes away from Travis without telling him. She relocates to a different state, to Arizona. Perfect. And does not tell him. She told her parents that she's moving there to marry him and they had never met or seen him. They are broken up. Okay. They're broken up. And her parents are like, okay, cool. So. So. Then she starts to go over to his house to quote surprise him. She stands outside of his windows. She somehow knows the Lock to the like the garage door key. She knows that she sneaks into his bed while he's sleeping She one time broke in through the doggy door She's fucking crazy. And sometimes, Travis holds his ground and is like, Fuck off, stop coming around here. And other times he gave in and they'd have sex. Men are weak. And it's just like, we all know either a friend or an ex who have, who has done this. If there are some people, if you tell them no 10 times, and then like the 11th time you say maybe, they're like, they're into me again. You just cannot give people like this an inch. It has to be a full shut down, no, do not talk to me. Do not contact me. Don't you know? Not to blame him because he, he is, he doesn't realize obviously end game. We are looking at this. So, she tells him that she doesn't have a job or money. So, he hires her to clean his house. And he gives her like a slutty maid costume to do it in. Please. People do that, you know. I mean, sign me up. How much does it pay? But he's also trying to move on. And so he meets this woman at church named Lisa. And Jodi is pissed. She starts harassing Lisa. Travis and Lisa are watching a movie one night. And his dog starts to flip the fuck out. So he goes outside and she's in the fucking bushes. Looking in the windows. In the bushes. I mean, No, Colleen. Sorry. No. Sorry. Sorry. It's fucked up. It is fucked. She admits to him that she does this and has watched them sleep. It's like, I watch through your window while you sleep. Okay. Edward Cullen. For real. Fucking creep. And he's like, go home. Leave us alone. And she does. But the next day, Lisa gets an email from an unknown person and in the email, she's called a shameful whore and is chastised in the name of God. Bitch. Bitch. Please. God don't love you. Joseph Smith, the leader of the Mormons, is not thinking about you. No, he's not. You are horrible. He don't give a fuck. So, one day, like, Travis goes to Lisa's, and when he comes out, his tires are slashed. And it gets to the point Lisa taps out. Lisa's like, it was nice knowing you. I don't blame her. Who can blame her? Yeah. Hard pass. But also like part of me would be like, Oh, what's so intriguing about you that would have a woman like this? No. Nope. Nope. I'm out. I'm fully out. So, somehow Travis convinces Jodi to move back to California to live with her grandparents. Unmorbid, they said that they get into a fight and she's like, I'll prove to you I'm not a stalker. And I'll leave but I, I mean that could be true but what's the point of that? You are his stalker so when you leave it will stop. So like what are you trying to prove that would improve anything? For whatever reason, I'm not sure, she moves back to California, right? Apparently he told his friends, it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I have a new lease on life. Things are getting so much better now that she's gone. This is great, which is just so sad, it's just so sad. Uh, like he thinks he's in the clear. Yeah, and the stalking had obviously taken a toll on him and the relationships he was trying to get in. Jodi is working as a waitress at a restaurant. Okay. Locally. She ends up meeting a guy named Ryan who lives in Utah and is also a Mormon who works at Legal Shield. Another fucking Jesus Christ. I know. They're all just in the same pool. MLM. So she's eating Ryan and Travis is trying to move on and he goes to an LDS singles night. Okay. LDS stands for Latter day Saints. That's a term in Mormonism. I am going to read off from the blog, Purpose in Christ, a complete list of things Mormons can't do. And I want you to tell me what happens at a Mormon singles night. Okay? Here are some things Mormons cannot do. No sex before marriage and complete fidelity after marriage. No alcohol or drugs. No dishonesty. Donate 10 percent of your income to charity in the building of a church. up of the kingdom of God, do not view pornography, do not engage in same sex relationships, dedicate Sundays to the Lord, no foul language, no cigarettes, coffee, tea, or tobacco, no abortion and no gambling. So I ask you, the people, the listeners, what fun can be had at an LDS singles night when these are the things that I do for fun on the weekend? I have done every single one of those. 100%. Like eat crackers and smile? What are you drinking? Tea? Coffee? No. No, you can't. No, it has, it, certainty has caffeine in it. They're drinking soda water. No, they're not even allowed, sure, they can't have soda. Soda water? Well, I mean, they can't have sugar. No carbonate, there's no sugar, no carbonation? I know, but like, what? Soda water? Oh, so they can have heroin? No, there's no drugs. Oh, right, right. No, literally anything that you would think would be fun on a Saturday night, Mormons can too. Maybe. I was just like, footloose, I can't listen to music. Apparently. So, what's happening at an LDAS singles night, I ask of you. What I don't understand is like, You really think that God doesn't, doesn't want you to do that, but like God likes the other religions that can do that? I don't know, man. Yeah, that's too much for my That's too much to unpack right now. No, you're right. I'm just saying that. But I appreciate the thought. You know what I mean? That's a very, very intelligent track of thought. Like, it doesn't make any sense. Like, we're Yeah. I don't know if I'm saying we, like, we were raised Catholic, although we're not, like, practicing Catholic. So we're, we're like We also grew up thinking that, like, Someone who never had sex at gay birth. So like we're not innocent. No, right. I would say that I don't know They're their rules are whack to everyone's rules are whack if you're a everyone's rules are whack. So it's just like that's the theme Just be a good person. That's just do things that I Here's the thing. That's really hard though because like I consider My episode of every Friday of RuPaul to be my church. It is packed with love and kindness and humor. And it helps me think differently and be a better person and lead a better life. That's what I think the basis of religion is. Is that it was meant to guide people down a path where you, you know, love thy neighbor, love thy wife, husband, whoever. It was meant to make people better. And, and we I won't say we, because we don't do shit, but there are people who turn that and make it hateful and then use it for bigotry and homophobia and I just have no time for it. Yeah, I came to a realization the other day that, which is really stupid of me to say at my age, but when I think of it high level, in my brain, my little tiny pea brain, I think that everyone is the same as I. In the way that everyone in my brain is an Irish Catholic. Oh. No, no, no. Listen, no. Listen to me. I thought you meant equal. No, no, no. And I was like, yeah, of course. Not actually. But in my brain, like for, this is an example. I live with Fiona and Aaron, right? Yeah. Aaron never was like, went through Catholic anything. Baptisms and confirmations are not a thing in other people's brains. I went to school my entire life with only, with Catholics. So like, in my brain, I think that everyone has a form of religion tied to them and also it's similar, if not the same. And so Fiona's like, I, like, Erin's like, I don't understand this Pope thing. And I'm like, that is just, I'm like, wait, outside your brain. It's outside of my realm. And it's, it's ignorant, which is whatever, I have my own issues, but like, you know, I'm stupid. But you're not stupid, Colleen. But Fiona, the same thing, like she's Protestant and I'm like, wait, like not everybody has the same. And like, unless you're like my high school friend, you know what I mean? Like it is crazy to me or your family. Yeah. Well, you were put into an environment where everyone thought the same way as you, every, which is what I spent time with all day, every day is thought the same exact way. And we're taught that I think other things are strange or like weird. Or I think that like, that would be better. Or preferred method, but like I'm like, Oh my God, like your knee jerk reaction is just of course everyone knows about baptisms Of course, everyone knows what it's like. I'm like, you're not baptized. You're not like, you're not, you know you didn't have to sit and Sunday Mass and Count the fucking disciples on the wall just to pass the time. Even like holidays are different in a way. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, they are And I'm like, wait, I'm just so confused So yeah that like it it's stupid to be honest with you the thing that helped me the most with that was traveling Transcribed Yeah. And meeting so many people from so many different backgrounds and learning this type of stuff. That's totally what changed my mind. And then of course, my love of the, of the queer community. A hundred percent. And so that, that's what I really struggle with when I'm watching RuPaul sometimes is there will be one of the drag queens who grew up in a specific religion and wanted so badly not to be different and wanted so badly, and then they're just thrown to the side and it's like. This person wanted to be a part of your community, wanted to give back, wanted to do all the right things and was born a certain way and now you hate them for it. Yeah. It just, it makes no fucking sense to me. And you're supposed to be like accepting all, you know. If someone comes to you with kindness and love and generosity in their heart, then give them a community, give them a space to grow and help. I mean, we could go off on this. Do you ever wonder if like, so for me, like, I think that we created our own religion. Yeah. A cult with the Shannon's cult. Yes. The basis is be a good person. Yes. Legit. I always wonder, and this is just like a random thought, like if, The way I was, my parents raised me, it's not like my parents sat me down and were like, be nice to people. Be, like, you know what I mean? Like, I watched them and knew that they were good to people, like, in the outside, like, you know what I mean? Yeah. How they treated their friends. It's taught. Their family. Right. Or did I learn that in school? Being in my, like, was that a Catholic thing? Like, I, I, I struggle with that a little bit. To be like, Is it innate or was it taught? Cause it was like, we were like, told to say the Ten Commandments every day, like, did I learn from that? Or did I learn from? There's a nature versus nurture. Seventh Heaven? Did I learn from, I don't know. You know what I mean? I think it's a mix. I think it's what you see and it's what you're taught. Yeah, I think it's a mix. That's my thoughts. Wow. How about that for your deep religion corner of the pod? That's all. Thanks for listening. Sorry. Jodi. Anyway, that's, that's that for our TED Talk on religion. So, let's get back to Jodi and Travis. Apologize. No, no, no. Don't apologize. So, he meets a woman through his LDS singles night, where they literally just sip on water and stare at each other. Uh, named Mimi, and she is everything he is looking for. She, they go on a few dates, and she just doesn't see him as more than a friend. She's just like, I think we're buds. Then what are you doing at singles night? And he says, well, she can go on a few dates and then decide. She can still be single and not interested in someone. Okay, fine, fine, fine. You're right. So, he invited her to a conference in Mexico, because it was going to be in Cancun. The next big legal shield conference was in Cancun, and he had invited her. And so, he's like, Hey, I totally get it. We can be just friends, but I already invited you to Mexico. You said yes. Like, why don't you come with me? It's already paid for. It's going to be so fun. He starts working out a lot. And his plan is that he's going to bring her to Mexico, woo her, and she's going to fall in love with him because they're going to be on this like romantic Cancun getaway. That's what he's thinking. Okay. That's, he's thinking full rom com y situation, right? Meanwhile, Jodi's being Jodi. She's leaving him long ass voicemails. She's calling him non stop. She's being a total fucking psycho. They're still having phone sex. And he doesn't know this, but she records everything. And some people think this was for blackmail at some point. No one really knows, but she has all of this. They get into a huge fight. Some say it's because he found she was flirting with someone and flipped out. It's not really known, but for whatever reason, they are fighting on every platform. Because, obviously, the police go through all of their logs. And it's nasty. Like, they're saying, like, really, really mean shit to each other. Gmail, MySpace, email, whatever way they can get their hands on. Jesus Christ. Every, every resource. Right. And Travis basically says to her, never speak to me again. And he has a blog, and he made a post on his blog on Sunday, May 18, 2008, and it says, Why I Want to Marry a Gold Digger. And it's just this whole thing about how hard it is to find love and how, I actually, some of it resonated with me because it's like when you're younger, you're kind of like the token single person and everyone's like, Oh, but don't worry, this person's single. And at first you like it and then you reach a certain age where you're like, I'm not a circus act. So leave me in peace. Yeah. And then in June, there's a burglary at Jodi's grandparents home. And you'll never believe it, Colleen. The only thing the robber took was a handgun. Funny. Not a, not a single other thing is wrong with the house. Not a dollar. There was a burglary, but the only thing was gone was the grandfather's gun. And then Jodi is getting ready to go on a road trip to Utah where her boyfriend is. And also, there's a legal shield convention there. So she's like, I'm going to go to the convention, I'm going to see my boyfriend, drive there from California. So she goes to rent a car and she gets to the car place and they bring out a red car and she's like nope Attracts way too much attention. So they bring out a white one and she drives off into the sunset She's supposed to get to Utah on June 4th She shows up on June 5th And when she eventually returns the car to the rental place the floor mats are gone And she said there was a Kool Aid stain in the car. And so she had to get rid of it By getting rid of the floor mats. All of them. All of them. Fast forward a few days later. It's a day before the trip to Mexico. So it's like, I think it's, the trip's on June 9th, so it's June 8th. So it's been a couple days. No one has heard from Travis. He misses a very important conference call. Like a big meeting. In his, it's so unlike him. His coworkers immediately know something's not right. Also, poor Mimi. Is like, hello, we're supposed to be going to a foreign country tomorrow, where art thou? I haven't heard from you, what the fuck is going on? So, Travis's friends are just starting to get nervous. So they go over to his house, they knock on the door, they pound on it. There's no answer. His car is there. Still no answer. One of them has the garage code. Travis, my guy. My god. One person max should have that code. Again. I'm not blaming him. If you have a lock on something, don't tell people about it. I don't know. My friends, I would. Just one though. You don't need Jodi Arias knowing, your fucking stalker knowing your garage the time, if you were like that close to me, I would 100 percent accept it. Yeah, I mean like I would give you a set of my keys. Maybe change after. She's being crazy. Yeah, definitely change it. Definitely change it. So they somehow get into the house. One of them knows the code. They get in, they see his car. One of his roommates comes out, and they're like, Dude, what the fuck, we've been banging on the door, where the fuck have you been? And he's like, Oh, I'm so sorry. He was either listening to music really loud, or a movie really loud, and he didn't hear them. And they're like, Okay, well where is Travis? Cause we are looking for him. And he says, he's in Cancun. And they say, no, he's not. That's tomorrow. And I'm, I'm just gonna say it now. This would not happen with women. Women know, people know my flight number. People know what time I'm leaving. People know my arrival. People know where I'm staying. People have my location. No, this is such a man thing. Of just, oh, I thought he was in Cancun. Not a chance in France, but they tell him, Nope, that's tomorrow. So they all immediately know something is very incorrect. They also, they, his keys and his phone are at the house. Yikes. So they go to his room and his roommate has a key for emergency situations. So they unlock the door and when they go in, it is covered in blood. And uh, when I say covered, and I know I say this a lot when we talk about murder cases, the hallway. Everything is fucking in blood. And this man is just in his, watching a movie. He's watching a movie. And Mimi, who's there, immediately sees the blood, steps into the hallway and calls the police. Obviously. A true baddie, who's just like, I am not gonna investigate any further, I will be out here in the hall, calling the po po. They can, some of them continue into the room, and he had like an en suite bathroom, and when his roommate turns the corner and looks in the bathroom, they find Travis dead in, naked in the shower. Yikes. Okay? So, the police come, and And, of course, right away, the moment they ask, every single one of them goes, it's Jodi. Look at Jodi Arias. Every single one of them. That's how fucking If, if your friends If all of your Cause there's like three or four of them there. Right? If all of your friends who are separated to be questioned and all say the same name. Scary. That's fucking scary. Yeah. That's the type of person she is. We didn't think she got a restraining order or anything? No. No, I think I think he was too kink of it all. Yeah, that he It wasn't like a high and dry. I'm leaving you. Bye. super manipulative. She is a classic sociopath. There will be a few things that come up after this that will send you to the moon. She knows that her weapon is sex and she uses it and she knows she has him on a hook and can just use and other Mormon women won't sleep with him because they're waiting for marriage. So this is like his fix. Legit. So, can't say I blame him. I get it. If you get uncomfy by crime scenes, I, I actually have to talk about it, so just skip ahead 30 seconds, I'll make it super quick. Like I said, the crime scene was horrific. He was stabbed 27 times. His throat Crime of passion, baby! His throat was slit from ear to ear, after the stab wounds, and he was shot in the head. Overkill. So, when I say there was blood everywhere, cause there was a struggle, he did not die easily, unfortunately. Fucking kill. This is brutal. Like, cops were puking. Like, it's disgusting. There was a bloody handprint on the wall, and they're able to take DNA off of the handprint. So, keep that in mind. They also realized he was murdered on June 4th. So, they found him on June 8th. June 8th or June 9th. So, he had been dead for a couple days, which was the stench. He was 30 years old. So, now the cops are obviously like, well, this is classic overkill. This is obviously someone he knew. Yeah. Passion. these things would have killed him, let alone all three. Yeah. Just way overkill. So, like I said, all of the friends are immediately like, it's Jodi. And then they start trying to plan his wake, his funeral, right? They're just, the cops are doing their investigation there. Jodi fucking finds out and goes. She goes to these events. And no one beats the shit out of her? No. She then calls the police. So she calls the police once. To give them info about the case. And no one calls her back. And she calls back annoyed a couple days later. And she's like, I told you I had information. Why has no one called me? And they're like, okay, let's get a detective on the phone with you. She talks at him for 40 straight minutes. And she says, I will be here if you need anything. I knew Travis so well. I mean, I don't live in the state. But if you need anything, I am here for ya. Please. Please. Then, the detective found it super weird and interesting that she also just, just threw in there that Travis was getting fit and working out a lot for his trip to Cancun and she is so small that there's no way that she could overpower someone so strong and so there's no way she could have done it alone because he was so fit. So she thinks two people murdered him and it had nothing to do with her and okay And that's totally normal and not a suspicious thing to say at all. No Well, there's just simply no way I couldn't it couldn't be me I'm so tiny and small if I turned to the side I would hide behind a grain of rice It can't be me. He's so big and strong. So investigators, like I said find the bloody handprint There's dark hair in the sink in the bathroom and there is a small bit of blood by the washing machine and they're like, huh, that's weird. It's in the bathroom. This is all in the bathroom. Investigators take a look and when they open the washing machine, they find his bed sheets in a camera, like a nice camera. Almost like someone who took pictures a lot. Put a camera in there, and it had gone through the wash with bleach, and the memory card had been deleted. And not only deleted, it takes five steps to delete the memory card. So, it wasn't, and the reason why they say five is because they didn't want it to come off as an accident. They were five steps to erase it. Got it. So, what, what so wilds me, right? Let me just say this, they never find the gun. Why leave the camera? Why? You, you shut the lid, you put the bleach in, you ran it, and then you left. And you honestly thought That in the, or even in the early 2000s, no one would be able to recover that information. And they actually, they, they talk about it on Morbid, and I, Morbid and I agree with them. I think she wanted people to see their naked photos. A hundred percent. I think she wanted her nudes leaked. Because she's that much of a narcissist. But she didn't want to look like his murderer. In some deep fucked up portion of her mind. She thought she could get away with it and also be like the hot widowed girlfriend Yeah For clout. Yes. Because she's unwell. So, on June 19th, the memory card is recovered, and the first picture that pops up, you're never going to believe it, Colleen, is a naked picture of Jodi at Travis house. And guess what? There's a fucking timestamp, and it says June 4th, 5. 30pm. She's so unwell. And it's the night of the murder, obviously. And so they keep looking at pictures. They see, uh, a bunch of nudes and stuff happening, like, Travis naked in bed or whatever. And then there is a photo of him taken in the shower, like I said, at 5. 30. He's looking directly at the camera. And this is the last picture of him alive. And then the next few photos are of the cam It almost looks like the camera's falling and it's like ch like there's things happening so So creepy. There's like a picture of a leg. There's a picture of blood coming out of his head. Like there's just a lot going on and it's very clearly she attacked him and there was a scuffle and the picture ca the camera continued to take photos. So this is, that's creepy. Yeah. So this is what the cops believed to happen. She drove to his home on the way to see her boyfriend to go to this conference. She turns her phone off while she's on the main highway still. She turns it off. She tells the cops it died. She actively turned it off. They have sex, they do their thing, she takes out her camera, they take a bunch of pictures. He gets into the shower and it seems like, based off of the very few pictures I've seen, do not Google it, his autopsy photos will come up, just be very specific about what you Google if you want to. He goes into the shower and it seems as if he's into it, it seems almost like a photo shoot kind of thing. Yep, vibe. Yep, and then they believe she stabs him. They have a tussle. A lot of his stab wounds were in his back and because of the hallway, they believed he tried to get down the hallway. That is when she did the thing to his, uh, throat and then she drags him back into the shower and shoots him in the head. She takes all of the sheets off of the bed. She takes the camera. She puts it into the wash with the bleach, turns it on, puts the cycle on, cleans his body off in the shower, leaves, locks his door, Gets on, gets into her car, gets on to the main highway, turns her phone back on, and on purpose texts him, calls him, and leaves him voicemails talking about stuff in the future. Isn't that fucking insane? I'm scared. Isn't that so crazy? People are so unwell. So obviously the police I have some suspicions. They go to her grandparents house to arrest her on July 15th, and they were also able to tie the burglary, the quote unquote burglary, with the gun. It matched what happened to Travis, the one gunshot wound to his head. So while they're there, she has rented a car. In said car is a handgun, knives, clothes. She's a brunette. She was a bleach blonde. She's now a brunette in condoms. They bring her in. She is all smiles. Deny, deny, deny, deny. And after a bit of talking to her, they just slide over a naked photo of herself with the time stamp. And they're like, is this you? And she goes, well, it looks like me. Miss Girl, do you think you've been cloned? You're naked! It literally can't be anyone else! That's your Poussoir! I, honest to God, she's so crazy, I wouldn't be surprised if she was like, full Parent Trap, that's my British sister, we were separated at birth, like, my mom raised her. You didn't know? You didn't know, she's in England. Like, I wasn't there. I don't know what to tell you. So she's like, I was in Utah, I was with Ryan. I, that's my boyfriend, like I don't really know what you're talking about. I was, I was never in Arizona. I don't understand what you mean. They call Ryan. They're like, hey, hi, hello, what's up? He's like, yeah, it was weird because when I met her, she was blonde and she did show up brunette. And also she had scratch marks all over her hands, uh, which she said was from waitressing. Hey Colleen she said it was from opening bottles. How many scratch marks do you have on your hands, would you say? Uh, so I have self, uh, diagnosed arthritis, but If I did, I would say, uh, none. Yeah, and she also showed up a day late. She was supposed to show up on June 4th. She showed up on June 5th. I wonder why. Mm hmm. And she puts on this whole show, and she says, quote, If I killed Travis, I would beg for the death penalty. This girl. Miss Girl, miss Lady, miss Lady. They tell her about the hand print on the wall. They tested it. It's Travis and her blood is mixed into it, so they're like, you're holy ass naked. on, on the night. He's murdered. Timestamp. And your, your blood, not your D, not just your DNA, not just like stray hairs, which are also not, not your pussy juice. Also the dark hair in the sink is yours, but also your blood is inside of a bloody hand print at moments before he perished. And she's like, no. It's not me. My DNA is all over that apartment. I like, I don't know what to tell you. Okay. So. Not sly. She then says to them, because she realizes shit's about to go down, she looks to them and she's like, this is gonna really show you how vain I am, but can I freshen up and put on some makeup on before my booking photo? She is about to get booked for first degree murder, and she asks the cops if she is allowed to put on mascara. She can put on, use the powder room. And she like giggles about it. It is, it is the most bone chilling, the lack of, and it's not understanding because she has complete understanding. The fact that she's already thinking about how her mugshot will be seen by other people is astonishing. Are you ready to get sent to the fucking moon, Colleen? No. They leave the room and the recording is still going. This bitch gets up. No. Barefoot and does a headstand. For what reason? And sings in the headstand. She gets down. She sits at the table. She giggles to herself. She sings. Oh, holy night To herself. She giggles and talks to herself Colleen it was so bad that the judge wouldn't let the jury see it because it was so damning to her character in court Would you like to see what happens could they plead? No, no, they could not what words do you have? I have locker up moments before weeping and sobbing to cops being like, if he was hair, he would tell you it wasn't here because you met dad, him rudely attacked him and locked him in his room on the way to visit your other boyfriend, mental illness, mental fucking illness. And when this comes out, she's like, I was just passing the time I was doing yoga. I was bored. I was there for hours. Like, what do you even want me to do about it? Oh, miss girl. You cannot be weeping women and doing a fucking headstand the next. You simply cannot. You simply can't. So they don't allow her to put makeup on before her fucking mug shot. They put her ass in jail. And then she comes back the next day and she has a new story, Colleen. And she says, you guys. I'm ready to tell my truth. Oh god, here we go. I was at Travis house when two people, one man, one woman, dressed as ninjas, wearing ski masks, breaks in, comes bursting into the room at night and They were trying to assassinate Travis and she doesn't know why she doesn't know what their beef with Travis is but They there was a tussle and he yells for her to go get help and he gets shot and she realizes that these Ninjas have looked through her purse and they read off to her They're like we know who you are and they say her name and her address and her parents address and they're like We'll fucking kill you whatever in the what the woman wanted to kill her and the man was like no You You know, she's not our target. We're not here. She's too pretty And you can see this on YouTube. If you watch it, when she's talking to cops, she's like, women hate me and men love me. It's very pick me energy, even in this made up fucking story. She's like, the man wanted to keep me, but the woman wanted me my dad. She somehow fights them off and escapes in gets in her car and drives away. And that is what happened. Okay, sure. And whatever happened to Travis, that's on their time. So, I, you know, Godspeed. So media gets wind of this. It obviously goes completely apeshit. It's a circus. It's two semi attractive people who are young, who are white. It's sexual in nature. It's Mormons. It's murder. It's like all the things that sell. You know what I mean? That's fair. As far as like, the media goes. And people are buying courtroom seats. It's hundreds of dollars flying all over the country to watch this trial play out. Say less. People are like, we must see it. She shows up. It's giving modern day Karen Reed. A hundred percent modern day Karen Reed. Uh, actually no, but yes. So when Jodi shows up for her trial, she's in her natural hair color, which is really dull. She's, was a bleach blonde. Now she's like a mousy brunette. She's got glasses. She wears all like big sweaters. It's giving frumpy librarian. Like she just, she truly, she has bangs. She looks dull. She, her skin is pale. Like she literally tried to go from bombshell to Yeah, innocent baby angel, right? She's she must hate that though. Oh, she must have hated it And I won't go into her court case as much as I did with the Menendez brother brothers, but similar to them The decision was whether it was premeditated or not even though she's plain, you know, I'm innocent, I'm innocent, I didn't do anything. It's murder one or murder two. At this point. Yeah. Also, the death penalty is on the table. Arizona. Hi, how are ya? So there's a few reasons why her self defense story doesn't work because that's what she's claiming now is that it was self defense. That's comical. Which we'll also talk about in a second. The prosecution got their hands on a shoebox where all of her receipts are from her trip. So this. California road trip, right? California to Utah, because that's where the boyfriend was, that's where the conference was. She keeps all of her receipts from the trip. And so when her mother asks about Arizona, she says, I wasn't there, I have the receipts, I'll show you. Right? Here's the problem with that. She fucks up. And what they also find out is about a month before, she bought two cans of gas. And the reason why she did that is so she never had to stop at a gas station while she was in Arizona. Got it. And could claim she was never there. So she would never have a receipt, she would never have video evidence, she was never there because she just used the gas. Right. So, if it's not premeditated, then why did you buy two gas cans a month? Two months prior. Yeah. Or whatever it was. Yeah. For real. So. I'ma kill this man. Right. Also, her phone being shut off. Why would you shut your phone off? Right. Right. on a main highway, turn it back on hours later on the same highway, and then leave him a bunch of voicemails if you weren't trying to cover shit up. Hmm. The proof is in the pudding. They let Jodi go on the stand, which, my good lord. I don't want to know. She gets up there. It's honestly fucking awful. She says that he abused her. And she claims he is a pedophile. There's nothing worse than that. When someone can't speak for themselves. And they're dead. Yeah. And you fucking Now mind you, if this is true, that is the most horrible, that's, like, the first people who should go on this planet are pedophiles. Like, kill them all. 100%. However, for you to make that up when you are so obviously the murderer. is so horrific. Yeah. These, I, I don't know a worse thing to do to a person other than murder them than to claim that they're a pedophile after they're dead. There's not much worse you can do. And so she gets up and she says, she walked in on him looking at child pornography. And they got into a fight, and he went into the shower, and that's how that all happened. And she says, you know, she caught him pleasuring himself to a photo, and he got upset and attacked her, and she grabbed the knife, because she knew, like, in his You just had a knife in your In his closet, he had a spare gun. And so, she stabbed him and then grabbed the gun and shot him, and then she blacked out. She doesn't remember anything else, and the next thing she remembers, she was driving through the desert. Alright. And it was all self defense because he's an abusive pedophile. Be fuckin for real. To prove that he's this, like, aggressive, crazy person, they play one of her recorded phone sex tapes. And in the courtroom, Travis, they're getting into it, and Travis, oh the way I would cringe. It's so awful. He says something to the effect of, I would tie you to a tree. And, like, do some shit to you, which, hey, if you're two consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone, get your rocks off. Sounds fun to me. They use this to be like, he's supposed to be some, you know, upstanding Mormon, and he's obviously having premarital sex, so he's not who he says he is. Like, you guys think he's all this amazing person, but he's trying to tie me to a tree. He's clearly the aggressive, crazy one. You're the one. You're the one. I know. Tie it all together. Jodi shows up to her sentencing, it's a white t shirt, and in purple lettering that she clearly had made from God only fucking knows what, is Survivor, she says, I had this shirt made to show everyone that I am a survivor of domestic abuse. Please. She's not wearing it, she's physically holding it up with his family directly behind her. How do they contain themselves? I would, the way in which I would jump over that bench and beat her to death. I, I don't know. I genuinely don't know. I don't know. Anyway, she's found guilty. Uh, this, when it became clear to the crowd outside, because there was a crowd, everyone cheered. Fuckin ding dong, the witch is dead. They couldn't agree on sentencing and whether or not Or, and whether or not to do the death penalty, it's declared as a mistrial, like she's still going to prison. Oh, come on. No, no, no, she's still going to prison, but they can't decide on the death penalty. They do a whole other sentencing, brand new jury, deadlocked again, and so it gets passed to the judge. And in the end, she was found guilty of first degree murder. She's sentenced to life with no possibility of parole, no death penalty. She tried to say she was She's so sorry and remorseful and she can't even live with herself and if I could do anything I would bring him back and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Immediately tries to appeal the sentence saying that it was stressful for her with the media and it was unfair. You know what's unfair? The fact that he's fucking dead and you killed him. Jodi, no one cares about you. No. So, to this day. And you know what? You're vain ass. You're ugly. Sorry. You're fucking gross. She still fucking denies it. Interviews with her are so painful. Unfortunately, when you watch her, she is, I mean, she's a sociopath. She can turn it on. There are times when you're watching her and you're like, you start to second guess yourself, don't. People have her whole life have thought other than the people who actually know her thought she was charismatic And she's actually just a fucking asshole. And I hope she rots in prison and here's my hateful hour I Hope that natural selection fucking takes her first because she is the worst and that is the murder of poor travis fucking alexander he didn't deserve this. No, she's so fucking crazy like some upstanding citizen But he didn't deserve to die like that. That bitch is crazy. She's crazy When she does that fucking headstand and starts to giggle to herself, it's like the jinx when he starts to talk to himself. Yeah She starts doing shit like that. We will post the video. It will Colleen's draw was on the floor. Like it's so upsetting. Yeah, no, it's wild. Yeah. So that's Jodi Arias rotting in prison. Hopefully forever. Fuck that bitch. Anyway, do you want some positive stories? I would love that. Okay, so the first positive story is from Sabrina Ionescu. She put together a girls basketball team after her request to be on the boys team was denied. And she was, and this is in middle school. She's so good that she can't get on the boys team. So she starts a girls team essentially. And she was told to play with dolls instead. Please this year show represent the US at the Paris Olympics. And she says, quote, My middle school said I should play. My middle school said I should be playing with dolls. Seriously. Word for word. So I went out and recruited a bunch of girls to sign up for the team and then I would just play. It's funny now. I wish I could go back and just tell those people they had made a mistake. And there's a video. There's a picture of her like opening her first Nikes. Oh, and then getting her jersey for the USA team, the USA team. And look at her actually getting it. That's cute. Wholesome. Oh, it's so wholesome. Go Sabrina! Fuck yeah, girl. Puswa power. And then the other one's from Good News Movement. Baker County Sheriff's Office received a call at 928 a. m. local time on June 3rd reporting a man named Brandon Garrett was missing. His family got concerned when he didn't report to the camping site. They were all going to go camping and they didn't show up. But one of his dogs did and the family was like, what the, why is one of the dogs? So they call the sheriff's department. His car. He, he like didn't take a turn well, he went off the side of a road and into like plummeted into a ravine and he was found a hundred feet from where the truck, where he was stuck. One of his dogs got out of the truck and ran four miles. Ugh. Found people, and that's why they found him, and they were able to go down and use some sort of system. They chainsawed a path to him with ropes and pulled him to safety. Him and his four dogs are totally fine. And it was all because this dog jumped out of the fucking truck and saved his ass. We don't deserve dogs. We truly do not deserve dogs. Fuck them cats. We don't deserve dogs. I don't know. Hillary and Kenny have cats, and I, they're cool. They can't be trusted. They definitely can't be trusted, but I kind of like that they're always trying to murder someone. It kind of reminds me of you. Like, they're sitting in the corner, and they're just looking at you, and you're like, Are you gonna kill me? Are you gonna snuggle me? You never know what you're gonna get. Yeah, fuck that. It's giving a wrist to cats. I do love the aristocats. I know you do. I knew that would soften the blow. Oh. Anyway. Ladies don't start fights, but they can finish them. I'll post all my sources, but That's the episode of the day. What a doozy. That was wild. Yeah, fuck that bitch. I hope you all have a wonderful week. I hope you're enjoying the sun. I did a beach day today where I just went to the beach, had a sub and read a book and I was like, as you should, is there anything better than this? No, simply no, simply no. So I hope you all get a beach day. I hope you're enjoying yourself. I hope you wear SPF and you're drinking lots of water. What? And also chug a bunch of fucking wine, and do shrooms, cause who cares? Don't kill your boyfriend. Also don't kill your fucking boyfriend. Don't be a weirdo stalker. Have friends who humble you. Yeah. Or a boy cousin. 100%. Touch some grass, bitch. Love you, mean it. Love you, mean it. Bye. Bye.

Speaker 9:

podcast was produced by me, Bridget Shannon. Music is written and performed by Matt Derosiers. You can find his band, Super Stoker, anywhere you listen to music

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Bridget Shannon

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Colleen Shannon

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