Quaking & Creaming

On this week’s episode, Bridget heads to New Hampshire for an après ski weekend while Colleen drags her dead body to Easter just in time to rise again for carrot cake. 

Then we get into the story of the week, the SECRET MALL APARTMENT. Imagine clocking in for your shift and casually finding yourself in someone’s living room!?! This is back when malls were everything to us and a group of artists decided to stick it to the man by secretly living inside one for FOUR YEARS. Yes, four. With couches, the hutch of Colleen's dreams, and direct access to Rainforest Cafe... couldn't be us. 

Grab your amigops, because the ep is a vibe, with a hint of squatting and kind of iconic.

Sources:

• Secret Mall Apartment Documentary - Netflix

Review and subscribe! You can find us on Instagram @Sippinwiththeshannons or send us your stories at Sippinwiththeshannons@gmail.com. Love you, mean it.

Transcript

0:23

Hallelujah. Hallelujah. He is risen from the rock. He crawled out. Woo. Oh, whoops. Happy Easter. She's festive. Was that It actually did. I did have a, at Easter him in my head. You know how they randomly come back to me? Yeah. But I lost it, so I came up with my own original version. Okay. What was your favorite church hymn? Eagles Wings for sure, but also correlation to that is not great, but it's, it really hits. Yeah. Yeah. I actually had a friend who was burying a family member this past week and she sent us a video of her in the car, like on the way to the burial, and that was on the car and she was just bumping into it and it really does hit, it's a bop. And enemy lift you up, honey. Oh, I hate, I hate hair. I am Lord hate it. See, like I, I hear it. I know. There's a, immediately get the shivers. There's a SL pool. What is it? There's a slew of them in my brain, but like, I need someone to kickstart me with like two beats and I'll take it, but I can't just like, come up with them or they come to me when I randomly like crack my neck. Like I, you're like our little drummer boy. But the, the drums are you cracking your back and neck. I can all like the, the ones that had a, dance to it are like always in the brain. Like, sorry, go tell it on the mountain. Come tell it on the mountain. And Jesus grab dance bone. Like those are like, but that's not, might be my favorite video of this podcast ever, is you, I don't even remember it. Oh, I'll show you. At the end of the pod, we post it. It's one of my all time favorite videos of us. Oh, you get so into it. There's one that has a really good move that's like this and I can't remember. I can't remember. Okay. What are you doing with your hands, Colleen? Oh, sorry. This is an audio podcast, not a visual podcast anymore. Taking strays over here. But I'm basically like cha chaing on each side, like a little, a little swivel to the right, to the left, up and down. Her hands are out like blades. Yeah. And she's moving them like wheels, like a little, like a little, little. Anyways. That's when you take it. Oh, sorry. Hi everyone. Hi. Welcome to this week's episode of Sipping with the Shannon's. We're cousins and every other week we sip on some wine, we talk some shit, and we have a good giggle. I'm Bridget Shannon. And I'm Colleen Shannon. How the heck are you? I'm alive. I'm here. I'm here. That's all I can ask for. The sun is up and it's getting warm this week. I was gonna say it is 6:33 PM and the sun is up still. What a fucking dream come true. I have no notes about that. I know. However, like how did we get somewhere where we're talking about the weather? I hate when people talk about the weather. I love talking about the weather. Only for a certain period of time though. And then I'm like, okay. Enough. Yeah. It's just like I don't wanna have a conversation about the weather with everyone I meet. And also, where the fuck is Nancy Guthrie? Where the fuck is she? I've been thinking about her all day today. I don't know why. Okay. But because Savannah's back at work. Oh, is that what it is? She's very emotional. Yeah. It's really sweet. Maybe someone spoke to me in a dream. It feels so bad for her. I don't know. Someone spoke to you in a dream. I, well, I am. I only today. I've been thinking about it all day. Because you must have saw something, someone spoke to you in a dream. Like what is, what happens inside of your brain, do you think? I feel like someone whispered to me. Interesting. I need You didn't be studied by science like someday. Very, very, very, very, very long from now I need you to say science. When I go, please take my body and do every workup. I'm a donor. Does that count? Not the science part. Oh, okay. Science is like go and run all your tests. Oh, okay. I am also a donor and that's great. And that is if your organs are still kicking Oh, and moving and grooving, but you are not Oh, they donate them to someone who needs them. Oh, papa and I highly recommend it. Yeah. I was gonna say my brain should not go in somebody else's body. No. Your brain needs to say exactly where it is. I agree. Glad, we glad we had the talk. Okay, great. What's up with you? Nothing. I'm, I'm just hanging. I'm also really happy about the weather. I just want one month where I'm not paying out the ear lobes. National Grid, national Grid needs to hop off my wing like immediately. Amen. Sister. It's too much. It's much too much. I live in a shoe shoebox. Get a hobby. You know what, I've done everything I can in my house. I've been buying them heated blankets. I've been saying Get a sweatshirt on. You cocking the windows. Yeah. No, we're not touching the goddamn heater as far as I'm concerned. When you, you turn your backs. I turn it off. Oh, mine. 60 degrees. No, no. There is no, you, you will get a heated blanket and you will shut the fuck up. Thank you. We're, we're broken these streets. We get a, we're scrambling for pennies. Have you seen gas prices come on this economy? I saw a thing the other day that was like, just phrases I use just to use them in one in this economy's my favorite in this economy. You can just use it in so many different scenarios. It makes me so happy. Mm-hmm. Anyway, I'm well, thank you for asking. Cool. I'm really glad we're Well, do you want me to go first or do you wanna go first? I don't think the people give a shit. I didn't ask the people I asked you and neither do I. Okay. All right. Gimme your spiel. I'm locked and loaded and I'm ready to fucking party. Uh, You missed a family party, which was super fucking rude. Yeah, I did. You did FaceTime me though. Oh, we did, oh, and I didn't tell you this. You did FaceTime me. I was at an Irish pub, however, you could not hear me. So I went to the bathroom and I fucking hate when people were on FaceTime In public or on the phone. In public. Yeah. And there was one girl in the bathroom and obviously like, I wasn't doing anything annoying. I was just like, hi. And I was like, gimme the fuck to auntie give me auntie. Like, yeah. I wasn't doing anything annoying. Yeah. And we came outta the stall and I go, I'm so sorry. And she goes, oh my God, I don't care. That was actually hilarious. And I was like, thank you. And we, I, we went to go leave the bar. I tapped her and was like, have a great night. And she was like, you're hilarious. Love you. And I was like, girlhood. I love when girly be girl in. I love when the girly girl, any who, go ahead. Yep. So it was our cousin, Michael's birthday, and it was so much fun. And it was it Cin de Mayo themed. I was like, tacos and margaritas and that, you know, you know white people to Cinco de Mayo. We love it. And so at the beginning I went early and I was like helping set up everything. And of course Auntie Terry cooked everything. It just. Smelled so good. It tasted so good. It just was divine. There's pinatas everywhere. She went to the store, she bought every balloon, like everything was themed to the nines. Typical. She even got little bowls so people could make their own nachos and take them home. Oh, like she's just the best human being on the planet. Everyone deserves an Auntie Terry, and so a hundred percent, they have this massive container for beverages. Basically it has a little spigot on the front. When you, you, you give you a spout, a a little spout. And so, me and Karen were tasked with making the margaritas. That's a dangerous, and Karen was like, mom, are you sure you want this much? She was like, yes. We only wanna make this once there's all these people coming, just pour the whole thing in there. So we're pouring different tequilas in there, and we get the lime juice and I'm cutting lemons and limes, and we're making them float. We've got soda water, and it is so fucking strong. And I was like, okay, we need, you can't go back. That's the thing. We need to dilute this a little bit though. Like we need to. How about we put ice in it? Melt it. No, Colleen, don't look ified at me. That is like literally criminal behavior. Me and Karen said it was too much. Okay. Oh, oh, so Karen said it, so it's now. Okay. Well you have to start. This is upsetting me, but yes. Continue. You just start slow with the tequila. Everyone knows that. So everyone coming obviously figured there was alcohol in it, right? So the party gets started. The tequila, the margaritas taste perfect. The ice melting and mixing it all up was the perfect thing to do. Thank you very much. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And then they have that plastic thing that goes in the middle that you put ice in so it never melts like into, so we did both. And our Uncle Paul, our sweet baby, uncle Paul, oh no. Saw all the liquors lined up on the wall. Behind the vat? Behind the container. Oh, you thought you added her and thought it was an add-on? So he poured a thing of tequila and then added our margarita mix on top of it. And he came over to me and was like, you guys, he literally went, and if you have an uncle, it's when they take their finger and like make that noise with their lips. And he basically was like, one sip. And I was like, yeah, he's done for the night. I was like, I'm so sorry you, we killed Uncle Paul. Yeah. We have to cut you off. No, he was wonderful. We danced the night away. No, but it was very fun. You would've been very proud of the marks. I swear this weekend I went to visit Heather and Parker in New Hampshire. She's 35 weeks pregnant. She's so cute. She's like bumping around like you would not bit bobbing. Do you know people who just handle pregnancy so well? Mm-hmm. Like she doesn't, she's not sick. She has heartburn, but she's like, I'm not sick. I, I'm just here. Yeah. I'm just hanging out. With a child. She does. I said, what do you miss? And she was like, A cocktail. I definitely want a cocktail. God bless her. But it was so nice to see her and it was like win of Pasa in the off season. So we went to the mountain one day and they had like a live band and they were doing all sorts of games and shit. They had food and alcohol stands out and they have this thing called the corn and the kernel. And it's when the adults strap their children to them with like a rope, okay. With a band. And then they hike up the mountain with the child behind them, and it's a race. Okay? And the first child, the first kernel to get down wins the race. Okay? So they like all start at the same time and have to go through this like obstacle course type of thing, uphill on skis. That's a nightmare. Respectfully. So it was fun. Fun. We had a, it was punk rock theme day. So the live band was playing like all, all the good vibes on a mountain are just different. Yeah. It was very apre ski. Yeah. And I, you know how I love an apre ski. Yeah. As one does. Oh. And we went to this place called Morrisey's that I'm obsessed with. Mm-hmm. They have espresso martinis on tap. Ooh. And because it's this like fun little gadget, you can pick the picture that comes out in the foam. Oh, I love that. And so they have like all these different That's cute. Photos and stuff. And so mine said, happy Easter. It was very cute. Oh, I knew you would love it. It's so personal. It's still personal. You can pick actually the owner's face. Like there's a picture of the owner. How about my own? And I go, who is that? Like whose face is that? What that man And Heather goes him, it's the owner. And he walked by and he gave me a little egg that said Easter. And it was a little Morocco. And so they turned on some music and they all started Moroccan. And I was like, this is lovely. I love that in this little Hallmark town. We love a family owned situation. I said that so many times. I was like, everything just feels like an old western shop that you walk into. And then like every family, the last three generations have worked here. Yeah. They have maple ice creams, soft serve ice cream at this place. Yeah. And so they make a waffle and then they turn the waffle outside. So all the bumps are on the outside and the waffle is the cone. Ooh. And then they put soft serve ice cream in it with like all the toppings. Yeah. It was so good because when you get to the bottom, you can break off the waffle and scoop it into the maple ice cream and it literally tastes like waffles with syrup. Oh, I didn't think of it like that. It's so yummy. I was like, oh my God, I don't even have a sweet tooth. And that was delicious. That's when you know, that's when you know. Yeah, everything was lovely and cute and Easter, and I drove home to see the, the kiddos, the children, they are so fucking cute. So Claire was in this tiny pink little dress and she looked so pretty in it, and she had on her little white shoes with a bow. And she wear like, are you all set? And Erin puts a bow in her, a white bow in her hair, and she just starts spinning around and looking at us. I have arrived and we were like, you look like a princess. And Erin said, do you wanna go see what you look like? Because there's, she has a long mirror in her room. Mm-hmm. So she runs down the hallway and from her room we hear, mom, I love this dress so much and I wanna wear it every day. Aaron was like, I'm so happy to hear that Clear bear. I love that for you. Keep that energy. Truly. She comes out and she's like, I'm a princess. And we were like, yes, that's correct. You are. And so Danny looked like a 16-year-old. He did. He, he was giving elder. I'm like, oh my God, why does he look so grown up? Like he's 40? He's so sweet. And so we get them in the car'cause they were gonna see my brother-in-law's side of the family and he goes to close the door and I wave at him from my car door and he opens his arms and he made a sad face. And so I got outta the car and he gets outta the car and ran across the lawn. And he said, I just wanted one more hug. I will. End it. I'll end it all. You need my arm? You need my leg? Take it. I, it was just so I had already hugged him twice. Like I was like, I love you. He had hockey tryouts. He did so well. He scored a hat trick. I was like, I'm so proud of you. And then he asked for one more hug and I was like, how could I ever deny these children, if anything? No, that's what you're there for. That's what the aunt's role is. Oh, you never deny That's the parents brought job. They're the fucking best. I'm going to Capri on Friday for Paula's birthday. You are? I cannot wait to tell you about it. Oh, I can't wait to hear your review. I'm so excited for you. Yep, yep. So excited. And tomorrow, I haven't told you this. Yeah. I'm going to New York City with Erin. Oh, you are? For what? So, okay. So we have been in love with this musical called The Last Five Years Forever. Mm-hmm. And it was Shannon's favorite. Mm-hmm. We were listening to it in the car the day of the accident. And we love the last five years. And it's a story about a married couple. It's not important. It's kind of a niche musical though. Okay. They are doing a 25 year anniversary. Thing for it. It was in London and then it was at the Hollywood Bowl. Mm-hmm. And it is at Radio City Music Hall for two nights. And so I text Erin just a video of the T of a TikTok of them singing because it's Ben Plat and Rachel Zegar. Oh. Who are like so stupidly talented. So I texted her a TikTok of them singing and said, they are so talented. I will be sick. Like listening to them sing these songs makes me wanna puke in the best way. I mean that as a compliment. I don't know if people know that. I mean that as a compliment. No one, I would never take that the wrong way. I don't think other people would either. Like, I just wanna cry. Like it just makes me so happy. And she was like, what if we just went and I was like to London? I was like, what do you mean? And she was like, they're at Radio City Music Hall in two weeks. What if we just went and I, I mean, far says it. We're we're going, I right, like, and Erin Erin's up for spontaneous things, but when you have kids, you, no, I can't, two children, you can't do that when, and so the moment she said it, I was like yes, can you, she goes, I found two train tickets that leave out of South Station that get us to Grand Central. I will do drop off with the children. I will drive to your apartment. We'll Uber in, we will work from the train'cause we have wifi. Then she booked a hotel with points and I got the tickets and we are literally going to New York for a night and the train home is at 7:00 AM and she's like, and I'll be home. That's so smart and perfect. I'm so excited. I could weep. I. I'm having an outta body. It's tomorrow morning, like I, and I just don't think it's gonna hit me. No, it won't until you're there. Until I'm like in, you know, in Manhattan. Oh, I'm happy. Like, holy shit, I'm happy. Yeah. We're gonna go out to dinner and it's like the fastest trip to New York of all time. Like I would love to call everyone I know and you know, try to get, but it's just a zip in zip out girls night and we don't get to have a lot of those. Yeah. Especially T two. Yeah. In New York, like, come on. This is so ex and for something that's so special and doesn't ever come around anymore, it's not a lame mis where when I Met Niche is like, it's not on a traveling show that can come around every year. It's so specific. And so to see the two of them too, like Ben Plant Rachel Ger is so fucking good. Yeah. So I'm so excited. So that is tomorrow. I'm so excited for you. Be on the train, working on the train. Who is she? You're gonna have like your a big city girl. No, what's the word I'm looking for? The term I'm looking for when you have like your own like. Moment. Like your me moment Carrie Bradshaw. Yeah. Like, like I'm in and I'm in a movie theater. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. In Hathaway, in Devil Wears Prada. I can keep going. That's correct. Yes. Okay, great. You're looking out the window and you're like having a mo like, I don't know. Yeah. I'm singing Hillary Duff so yesterday. Mm-hmm. And I'm feeling it. Yep. So that's happening. Very excited about that. We will come back with my reviews next time I see you. I am still watching Game of Thrones. I ended season six. I knew it was coming. It was just fucking nuts. Battle of the Bastards makes me weak in the knees. Everything Searcy does toin. I have no words. I just, I cannot believe how the next two seasons go because it is a perfect television show and I have decided that season four is my favorite. Okay. I saw a AI created of like an eighties if they, all the families were like in the eighties. Oh really? Yeah, it was actually really funny. Oh, that's crazy. I'll show you it. Okay, great. Yeah, and then the podcast I'm completely obsessed with right now is called Love Trapped Owens versus Eckard. Have you heard of this at all? I have not, no. Okay. Do you wanna know what's so fucking weird about this? Two episodes ago I was talking about how I follow this woman on Instagram who I love. It's called Things I Bought and Liked. Yes. And she doesn't take Brand Dale's, she only goes by her listeners. Yep. She posted a picture of Love Trapped and was like, if you need a podcast to listen to, just download this. I didn't listen to the trailer. I didn't look at what it was, the little synopsis. I legitimately downloaded it. She has very similar taste to me. Done. Then last episode you brought up Colton and Clayton'cause you were like, oh, I always get them confused because I get Colton, the guy on traders confused with Clayton who like break dances on TikTok. Correct. I have not thought about Clay Eckard in. A decade. So when you said it, I almost said to you that was the Bachelor who had the whole pregnancy scandal and I just knew you wouldn't know what I was talking about. No, no, no. So I just didn't say anything. The podcast is about Clayton Eckerd's pregnancy scandal. Oh really? That's so weird. And he essentially goes on, no, he doesn't even go on a date. He invites a woman over and they have oral sex and she claims he impregnates her the gasp I gust to you guys. This podcast is so fucking crazy. I never feel sorry for men. I feel awful for him. The court. Legal years and years that she drags this on is astounding. This woman needs psychiatric help, but how can they even immediately with DNA? So they go into it. There's basically a chance, like a 0.0001% chance, and she ran to the bathroom after the second. It happened twice, and she ran to the bathroom and he was like, did she do something? Huh? And so then she starts threatening him. So he's like, well, give me proof. And it turns out being pregnant is the easiest thing to prove on the planet. It's like, here's a sonogram, here's the date, here's the hospital that I went to. Yeah. Here's my name, here's the baby. Here's how far. I mean, I don't think we track anything as well as we do pregnancy out outside of the Domino's Pizza tracker. Someone say, I almost ordered Domino's last night. I think, oh my God, I did too. It. You know what I did instead of what you should do. What? Big Als or big a's on? Big a's they do. Buy and get one free slices. But the slices are like the size of half a pizza. So for like$9. I just got two giant fucking pieces of pizza delivered to my bed last night. Colleen. What? I almost ordered that last night. I swear to you. On every dead family member we have, I saw Big a's last night. Yeah. Cheese pizza, one sliced, buy one get one free. Oh, yeah. I do it all the time. That would've been so, fuck. I almost wish I did it just for, just for the tea and like, and you, and like Mans was legit sleeping and I was like, so I'm gonna order pizza for myself. He's like, okay. I, my fear was that they were cold because they just reheat the slices. I mean, that doesn't even bother me personally. But, and two, that they would be small. They, one slice, sorry, I know this isn't, it's not visual, but the p the slice is like this big. Okay. She's holding up like a full sbarro times two. Yes. Like that's a good, that's a good comparison. I would say like, double what a normal, if you got a big, large pizza and it was separated into like sixes eight. It's, or eight. Yeah. It's like two of those. Yeah. One. Yeah. Cool. Wow. Oh my God, that would've been really pep go. I know. It's like we're synced. Yeah. It's like we're synced up. That's terrifying. Respectfully. Of course. Yeah. For me, for you, it's delightful. How dare you. But that's all I really have for you. I'm having a grand old time. I still need to book a trip. Oh wait, Pauline broke her hip. Oh no. My girl, Pauline broke her hip and then she was at a rehab and Jenny was at another place and I was trying to get ahold of Pauline, but she couldn't hear her phone and it was a whole thing conundrum. And I was running around trying to find my blind ladies, trying to find my girls, make sure they have everything they need, and it turns out. Pauline got transferred to Ginny's Hospital. So now I wanna be able to visit both of them, them like a, at the same time, passed that hospital the other day, by the way. Oh, did you? Yeah. And so I called Ginny today talking about like when I should come next. Mm-hmm. And Pauline answered the phone and I haven't talked to her. And I was like, oh, the girls are back. She goes, it's Pauline. I go, Pauline, how are you? I was like, oh my God, it's so nice to hear your voice. How are you doing? And she said something sassy. She was like, oh, you know me. And I said, well, can I come by on Saturday? Like, would you? And she goes, come on in the water's nice. The girls are back, the girls are kicking, the girls are back. And pauline's answering Ginny's phone. Like this is the way the world was intended to be. Yeah. And me yucking it up with the ladies in the hospital, like, let's fucking go. So I'll be seeing both of them this weekend after like a week and a half hiatus. That was very stressful. I was like, where is she? What room number is she in? Can someone give me an update? Yeah. Like if you, if I don't have contact with her cell phone, like how do you reach her? Yeah. Ever again. It, I was like, I was so sick to my stomach about it.'cause she fell. It was like a whole thing. So she's okay. She's getting her X-rays, she's hailing up. They made her, she's on the app. She made, they made her do pt. Good lord. Colleen. 82 years old doing PT for her broken hip. Live your life sister. God bless her. So I'll be visiting them both this weekend. Now I'm done. No, I mean, I, I know but I, you know, now I'm, what else gotta, we gotta yip yap about. People love our Yip yapping. I'm obsessed with the show on Netflix right now, and I need everybody to watch it. However, take that with a grain of salt, because I have not gotten to the end yet. It's like there's like eight episodes I've watched. The first five Obsessed. It's okay, but you've done this to me before where you offered show Well, it's also also top on show, also it's top on Netflix. You can see it. It's called Something Bad Is Gonna Happen. Oh, yes. It this, oh my God, it's so good. So the point of why I think it is so good is because I, you don't understand what the fuck is going on. You're just like, I'm not getting it. But you're on, you're just, you feel dread and like on the edge of your seat. But it's not jumpy scary. It's just like I am not understanding what's going on. Yeah. It's the people who made Stranger Things. Yeah. It's very well produced. Well produced. It's spooky produced. Spookily also the one right next to it, the Predator. And how do you say that? S savi Svia. Svia s It was Svia. Okay. Yeah. I've watched, there's a couple, I think there's like three or four episodes. I've watched the first two. It's so fucked up. Oh, really? Yeah. It's about a travel company. Oh, okay. Young, alone, and far from home. They trusted a seemingly friendly tour guide. It's tour guide. Numerous US students was the only beginning of their regret. I'm not giving anything away by saying this. Oh God. But because it's, it's literally not a giveaway, but that, that girl that's on the advertisement on Netflix, she, something happened to her when she was studying abroad and she told nobody, like, for years, and then she saw somebody else post, or like, she came in a common connection and it was the same person in the same city. And so when she talked to that person, she talked to another and it was like, and then it just like 60 people. Oh my God. That's awful. Yeah. You have to watch it. It's like, but it's, it's a, a positive in the end because she like does this whole thing. She goes to the new, like she's on like today, like she goes Yeah. She does things for the people. Yeah. Love. So it has a positive spin on it to a terrible story however, but yeah, give it a watch. It's good. Great. Again, haven't finished either one of those, but where I'm at is we're starting strong. We're loving it. Okay. I have done nothing really. I do go to Portland last weekend, but we didn't like do much for your one year anniversary. Stomach gonna make me sweat. Duh. It's funny we both had the wrong date, so fine. Okay. I almost said to you that's later than I remember. Yeah, well he drunkenly asked me to date and I, so like we just like, don't really use that date.'cause I'm like, yeah, we'll talk about it tomorrow. Like,'cause he was, had his eyes crossed essentially. We usually just go by the date that we went on a date like that was. But technically the date that he asked me where he was unwell was on, I think like the 30th of March or something, or the 28th. One of us thought it was the 30th. One of us thought it was the 28th, and I don't think either one of those is in fact, the date. It's fine. But we went away for the weekend. We really didn't do much. We just kind of bopped and chopped. Portland's like, so cute. Love Portland. It was way, it was so fucking cold. Oh, really? I don't know why it, it was like everywhere was a wind tunnel. So we got in Airbnb, like right in the old port, and like, we were like, oh, perfect, we can walk around. And we literally couldn't, like, we couldn't. That's how fucking cold it was. It was so cold. And like I had, I brought my fur, but I looked ridiculous in the middle of the day wearing my fur. But I did a couple compliments. I will say. Oh, of course you did. It's from Perry Wee. We, we pretty much just like got a drink at every bar and just like legit, just bopped, which is just, I think that's great. Yeah. We did some chopping. I got him to look at knickknacks, which is crazy. Like a lot of knickknacks, Bridget. He separated me from at one point and I found my way into a jewelry store and I looked at the sales lady and I was like, I need to get through this store before someone comes and takes me out. And I was like, he will come soon. And she was like, okay. And I was like, we need to, yeah, we need to get it. And then I heard the door open and I was like, and he and I go, that's the one he's gonna get. And she, he immediately was like, we gotta go. And I go, but I see shiny things. I need to look. Lemme look. Lemme look at the shiny things. Look at we did have a. Experience at, we went to a dad bar, which like, we would love a dad bar, right? Yeah, yeah. Like, it was like one, one that didn't even like stir food. However, we were obviously like buzzing, like we had a great day. We've been getting drinks all day. We're not like shitfaced by any means. But this, the crowd that was in there, the Bruins were on. There was a, the bartender in there was like a woman that was probably like in her fifties and like her husband was like the bar back. And people were like loving her, but she was like, absolutely shitfaced and like ripping shots with people and just like being the worst fucking bartender you could ever have. Like, not to the point where it's like, oh, this is like the local area where like you just yell for her and it's like everyone knows it. Like she was actually actively horrible to the point where we left. Like we were like, we can't be around this fucking lady anymore. Oh, wow. And then there was another drunk guy that was like teetering on being really fucking annoying. Like he would talk to us, but he would repeat himself a lot and he would like give us recommendations, but then he would do something that was annoying. Oh. So everyone was just, and then he brought us to shots. So then we were like, okay, like we'll be nice, you know, like, you know, cordial, but every, like, everyone there is so fucking nice. What time of day? Like 2:00 PM 3:00 PM So that's why we were like, okay, wait, it was at two to three. I thought you were gonna be like, oh, was I, I think it was a, I think it was a two or three o'clock game. Oh yeah. We were like, what the, we felt we were in the Twilight Zone mean, I was like, I guess perfect time to go home and sleep it off. I was like, I love a day drink. And that's funny because of the really drunk guy was saying like, he was at a bar before that and there was like this really annoying drunk person and we were like, is the call coming from inside the house? The call is coming from inside the house. Yeah. But we went to a place called$3 Dewey's and we got a hotdog and watched the rest of the game. And that was 12 outta 10. One second. Live your life. I had the best hot and dirty martini ever at an Italian restaurant called Via Veia. If you go there, you simply must go. And that's it. I really have no notes. How do they make it hot? Jalapenos? I think it's usually like pepperoni juice or something. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I got reservations at the bar. Isn't that interesting? You reserve bar seats? No, I've done that before. Yeah. I've never done that before. I've, I've seen bar high top patio dining rooms so's so interesting. Before, maybe I just like, don't go to bougie places, but it's really good. But it kind of makes sense because I have gone, like, this happened recently. I went to a bar with someone and they were like, oh, and it was just an uneven amount and so someone had to get asked to move and it was kind of a whole thing. Huh. So I think it's probably easier to just make those reservations. You know where I've done it before is Prima in Charlestown. Oh yeah. You can make reservations at the bar. You can do that. That is true. That's so true. You're so smart. Thank you. I did something bad. I allegedly may have, may or may not have taken a cookbook because it was Martha Stewart. It was speaking to me. I needed it. Colleen. What year? I gave him a good review. It's fine. It was recent. It was recent. It was a good one. It was a little, it was a little beaten, but it was, I needed some love. Oh my God. But don't worry, we gave them a, a fantastic review and I know that I'm gonna get back and I know I'm gonna get back Karma from it, and that's okay. But I needed it. That's the least you could do is write a good fucking review. It's a little book. They won't even know what's missing. I needed it. What if she's obsessed with Martha and she knows it wasn't away? You think Dan's obsessed with Martha. You have no idea what Dan going to, he had about bears. Bears beats and battles. Gargo, ACTA in Martha, whatever. Think I'm a bad person. I don't care. Jesus. Speaking of my girl, ina. Garden is touring. She's doing a book tour. She's coming to Boston in October and I will go and I don't care who's coming with me. I will literally, this is your moment. No, I know. I will literally like form tackle her, that woman. Oh, well let's not do that. Out of love. Still not acceptable. You would get arrested. Oh, whatever. It'd be worth, you could say gush over her. Yeah, I think, I don't even think I would know how to react honestly. I met Claudia re one time and I didn't speak'cause I couldn't, I was gonna say, I could see you blacking out and going full mute. No, I, I do go full mute and then like, I, I covered hives and I just like go silent like a totally normal person would. I went to a wedding this past weekend and it was a wedding That was not a formal one. It was like, no, like we wore formal attire obviously, but they did their own ceremony, like with themselves and like their parents and their siblings and like whoever the fuck they invited. I dunno. And then they. Met us at the after which they rented out like a really nice place on the water in Newburyport. And so it was like past hor d'oeuvres, a dance floor. Oh, so nice. Love. They still did like the first dance and everything, but it was much more like chill and lax. And they also had a side with a bar and like big tall, high top seats, but without the chairs, so you could like perch there. And then the Bruins game was on. So like, it was very like a mix of both. And I actually really liked it. Dare I say, was there music? Yeah, there was a whole dance floor. Oh. So the, the game was like on in the background. It's like a big massive room. And like the back room was like a back bar where they had like, yeah, you could, you had the game on. Yeah. And they had a dj. That's awesome. Gers. I kind of liked it. It was a lot. I like that a lot. Yeah. I did mix a lot of alcohols though, so I was very What type of alcohols did you mix? I started with martini. I started with a glass of wine in the room, switched to martinis. Then I had AOL spritzes and then I had tequila sodas. Oh, how'd that feel? I woke up and was like gas bang. And John had to do everything and we had to go to Easter.'cause it was Easter Sunday. Hello. He has risen. And I had to, could not rise your favorite holiday. I could not fucking, I, well I did find myself being like, did he die today or did he rise today? Like, I don't fucking know. Is it his birthday? How many years of schooling did you get to not remember what the fuck Easter, Easter Sunday is? It all blends. It all blends. Bridgette, I just know you wear pastels and you don't eat meat on Fridays. Your parents spent so much money on my good quality education. Oh Christ. Oh Lord. Anyway yeah, the poor guy, he had to like, do everything for me and I kept asking him to pull over on the way home. Oh, NODY yak. Yeah. And I just immediately went to the couch and was like, how much, how much time do I have left? How much time? How much time? And I got myself up and together. Relatively, we stopped at the store. We had to stop at Chas because I needed gum.'cause I was throwing up and I also threw up at Chas. And I also had to buy dry shampoo at Chas because my hair was so greasy and I didn't have dry shampoo. So it was like a whole fucking thing. But I made it. He kept being like, you don't have to go. You don't have to go. And I'm like, no. There are people that have children. And woke up today, even hungover, and was like off to Easter. I must suffer the wake. Christ suffered. Yeah. Like Christ has suffered. And so therefore I will take his suffering today, Colleen. But it's like I did this to myself. You just didn't have to go. Yeah. But like, I'm an asshole. I this, I also, I did this to myself. No, I, you won't hear me deny that for a second. Yeah. However, you don't have to drag your dead body to Easter Sunday either. No, I do though. Like, that's just rude to me. I said I was coming. Oh, I, I didn't know if you were like dropping in if it was like, mom made me a fucking carrot cake.'cause I said I like carrot cake. Oh, okay then yeah. Mother has to go to mother's Gotta go to Easter. I love carrot cake. Was it so yummy? No, it is wicking good though. She's a great cook. But yeah, if someone's gonna make you a she cake, you drag your dead ass to Easter. Exactly. And they're, and rise again. And she's like, take the stuffed artichoke. And I'm like, it's okay. You know, so many snacks, so many beverages being like, his family's a fucking delight. Yeah, they are. Like lemon drop martini margaritas. I'm like. Going down like glass. Woo-hoo. But then, you know, then there's the meatballs and the Ravi. It's the Italians. Yeah. I'm like, fuck. So it's sitting in there real heavy. It was so good though. And then I revived. Oh yeah. And I went home and took a nap. And then I woke up. Yeah. It was the whole thing. And then I ordered Big ACEs Pizza, 9:00 PM Oh, big. A big a for the fucking win. I find myself in this circle of like, not eating on holidays for some weird reason, or like being unwell on holidays and not eating. And then I find myself ordering food on holidays. Like Why? Why? Well, the nights you go out or the night before holidays. Guess so, man, I keep fucking myself. Guess you're terrible. I wonder why this keeps happening. Like there was, because the night before a massive family event, you decide to lose the plot. That's why that happens. That's, oh my, I didn't tell you so I felt over it. No, I felt so bad'cause I like didn't have anything I didn't bake. Not that I should bake anything. It would be like a fucking shame for me to bring food into their house when they're such good cooks. I was gonna say it's like not amazing, but I was like, let me get like two lips or something. So we go to, like I said, Shaws so I could throw up. John also was like, he's the unwell where like, I need food now. So he's like, let me hit the hot bar while you throw up. So we were like, you know, we were Simco feeling hot for two very different reasons. Yeah, we were simpatico for sure. And I hot bar, he's like, do you think we have a hot bar? I'm like, get to produce. I'll be in the bathroom. We also couldn't find the bathroom. We did like three laps at Shaw's. I'm like fighting for my life in my heels. It's at the front normally. Flip pla. Yeah, I thought it was in, we thought it was in the back. So we did a full four square loop. Horrible. Oh my god. Oh my god. My day. So he almost texted me and was like, are you okay? I was in there for so long. Anyways, I got fudge because they had like fudge with like CAD berry eggs and m and ms and it was very Easter and I just like ripped the tab off and I never knew where we was from. Put it on the dashboard and John took a big fat turn while I was like putting dry shampoo in my hair and went flying and it opened and it was all over my feet and there was crumbles everywhere. And I was like, I'm so John's. It's okay. It's fine Now. It's not, so I'm leaning down, but I, I have my seatbelt on and I can't reach the ground. I'm trying, and I sh when he's turning and I'm like. Over. I gotta save the fudge. And he's like, no one gives a fuck about the fudge. It's fam. Oh, mind you, it's family. Makes fucking fudge. Okay, point. So Auntie Susie makes fudge. Yeah, I know. Our family does too. Clearly they have an auntie that makes fudge as well. Everyone's making fudge. So I was giggling about that and I did pick it up and I did put it back in the thing and we did bring it in. Oh my god. Golly. But like, you pull over, I don't wanna be picking fudge. Like what if someone's looking out the window and he's like, it's fine. Also, thank God it wasn't hot out. Also, as this is all happening and he's driving, he's also eating Cheetos that he just bought because he simply needed an appetizer before we, so all of that's happened. Okay. But honestly, as someone. Who gets hangry. Oh my God. He's scary. I get it, John. I get it. And I don't, I don't move fast enough in the morning, like when he's walking. No, I hate how slow you are when I'm hungry. It's so annoying, John. I fucking get it. She moves slow and then she's like, and she's like, she, oh no, not those shoes. Oh no. Not that jacket. I don't give a fuck what jacket you're wearing. I need food. I went to and she's like, oh my God, where did that go? Oh my God, where did I put that? Oh my God. Ugh. I can't find my fucking ray bands right now. I'm so pissed. Speaking of. Toughest battles. Oh, annoying. I went to Sam Walker's with him, his brother, the other night, and they're like, not tall men. Right? Like, they're short. So I'm like, how they move so fast and I'm like chugging along behind them and they're like fucking sprinting to the bar. Okay. You And they're like, you have to get a, you have to get a bar seat. Like, and they're, and I was jams behind me. He literally moved me out of the way to like get to the bar. And I was like, what is the rush? Where are we headed to? Is there a fire? He's like, I saw it from afar, like I was being efficient. I'm like, okay. Like it's gonna be fine. No. Do you know what bar seats though? San Walker. No one else was fighting us for it. The ga the game was on. The game was on. Were trying to get the right spot. It was the whole thing. I never had any idea what's going on. Oh my god. I'm just in the back like this. You know when in Shrek? Yes. When they're in the onion carriage? Yes. And Fiona and Shrek are the front seat and donkeys in the back and he puts his head up and he's like, That's literally me with John and his brother in the car. I, the way I would murder you. The way I would kick you out of the car door. John's mom on the highway, John's mom put a dent up hair restoration stuff in his Easter basket hair restoration stuff. He's not balding. He's not balding. No. She must have saw his cowlick or something and there was like drops The way moms just know she kills me. How to humble. She kills me. And I was like, give what? The hair restoration. Let's just give it to his brother. His brother's also not balding. I was just stir the pot, but classic Colleen. Oh. But yeah, that was that. That was, that's my long-winded story. Wow. That's fucking hilarious. We have to talk about one thing before we get into it though, and it is the Amanda Petula of it all. Oh my God. I can't believe we haven't talked about this yet. I mean, it, it's like kind of fresh, fresh and new. I know, but it feels like the new cycle goes so fast also. Has anyone been more happy about Amanda Petula existing than Taylor? Frankie Paul? Speaking of a fast news cycle. No, that's fair. Under the rug. She's like, take it. Okay. But also can Taylor, Frankie Paul stop with like posting like Bible verses like just stop it, please. Yeah. Like enough. I don't, literally no one feels bad for you. You're trying just stay silent. I just need everyone to knock it the fuck off. Get a new PR person. Yeah, someone shut her phone off. Truly like, go be with your children and shut the fuck off Slink and let it pass. Because guess what you got, I guess not one upped.'cause you don't one up domestic violence, but move. Like move in silence. Move in silence. And then this came out. So she must be thrilled that she's getting a breather because what in the actual Fuck Yes. We ride at dawn for Sierra Miller. A hundred percent. She is the most beautiful. Human being I've ever laid eyes on. Yeah. Like both physically and internally. I do not understand Amanda Petula. I do not understand having a best friend who wipes your tears and is there for you for years and roots you on in your shitty stupid relationship that everyone told you that was gonna fail for years and years and years. You marry this jackass anyway. Turns out he's just as awful if not more now. Correct. You divorce him and your best friend Sierra helps you through the divorce and then you sleep with the man that she's back with. I saw a thing that she slept with Wes the last time she slept with Wes was in February. Sarah's fucked. Yeah, fucked. There's overlap. That's fucked up. There's there has to be overlap also. Never thought he was cute at all. I saw so many tiktoks being like, Paige, where are you? Stand up. Yeah. So did you hear what they said? Yeah. I was very respectful. And also, but also understanding where she's at. I really appreciated it because they easily could have done a tell all, like Paige literally could have been like, here is their entire friendship from beginning to end. Yeah. But she would, and here's what I know, she's my class, right. And she, she was like, I will let Sierra speak for herself also, like Hannah Burner could be like, I, hello. I've been, you know? Yeah. And she didn't so easily could have, but she's, they're both just happy and content with themselves and normal people, so they don't. Yeah, it's just awful. Like, I just don't know. I mean, Wes is a piece of shit and honestly, no one ever liked him in the first place. Kyle Cook is too. Wait, I've never liked him in the morning. You know, when I decided I hated him. He's getting off so easy right now because she did something worse. Correct. And he's, I feel like he's gonna ride this out and be like, I didn't lover boy. Sales are gonna go up. Have, yeah. Have you seen like him in talk shows? He's like, yeah, I don't know. Whatever makes her happy. Yeah. It's like they spotted like last week, like keying it up. I did not like that man. Since I, when I watched Vanderpump Rules, they had like an overlap episode before I ever even watched Summer House. And they went to the Hamptons and were on an episode of the summer house and Stassy Schroeder was in the hot tub and she was wearing a wicked high neck bathing suit, like a one piece. And he kept Kyle Cook was in the hot tub shit faced being like, you look like Steve Jobs. And I have hated that man ever since. So specific. It's so Colleen. No, what's wrong with you? Where were you when you washed it? And also he's like 50. I actually dunno where I was when I watched it. But you just remember such specific Yeah. Just like I hear you. Um, Yeah. He literally is such a fucking loser and I, I don't like either of them. I don't like either of those men and I don't like Amanda be Petula. I don't know how you do that to her friends and had such a good, she could have had such a good like very Ariana Madox moment. A hundred percent. And also like, not for nothing. We don't know her as a single person. She came in as Kyle's girlfriend. Well, right. She could completely reinvent herself and be a superstar and just write out the heartbreak, the divorce of it all. They have him on every season being horrible to her. Everyone's always been team Amanda to the point where when they showed a clip of it the other day, something popped up in my warrant. It was a trigger warming for domestic violence. Yeah. It's awful the way he treats her. It could have been like Amanda Beto is start to freedom. Yeah. He's such a loser. And I just don't get, I, I expect this of men. I expect men to do this. Yeah. I don't expect women to do this to other women. That's correct. I also, well, not only just other women, just your best friend, sister in general. Also hope you guys get married, because if you don't, you are absolutely the dumbest person on the fucking planet. Can I tell you, I have a question for you. What would you rather them be a quick fuck or the love of their life? I would be not happy. I'd feel more content if they were, like, if someone cheated. If it was like end game, then yeah, of course. Like I'd be like, all right, whatever. I guess if that really, if that made both of you happy in the end, but also ah, like time, space, time went by. Yeah. And eventually I feel like even if it was me, I mean, I don't know it depend on the circumstance, but maybe even like say they're together three years from now and when they're like basically married, Sierra is like, okay, like whatever. Obviously she would never be friends with the Amanda again, but like at the end of the day, those two people clearly needed each other and like it worked out for the best. And if they're happy, like at one point you love both of them, you know? I dunno. But again, yeah, hopefully with time also, I would burn their houses down. So I, I don't know. It's hard for me to say I, I, I don't know what she's doing right now. We never knew what she was like with like as a single person. So like, I guess we, we would've been blind. Everyone that watched her could've been blind. I mean, we don't know this person personally, but you know what, I love that Sierra's been posting such nice things. She hasn't really addressed it, but she's brought up other causes that mean a lot because she knows a lot of people are going to her page. Like talk about handling it with fucking class. Yeah. She's a perfect person. Her and Paige are. Truly love them and I feel like the reunion will probably be really messy. Is that the next time? I'm so excited for Lindsay Hubbard to come in hot. Do you know anything about Lindsay Hubbard? So I saw that she posted like the FBI hat the other day, or like detective hat with Kristen Doty. Do you know who Kristen Doty is? No. Kristen Doty is from and people were saying if Kristen Doty was on summer house, this would, it would be end game. Kristen Doty is the crazy bitch from Vanner Pump rules. Okay. That like was the FB Ive like was she was before scandal of all she dated Tom Sandoval first. Ew. She is so fucking unwell. She's, but in the best way. Like she's ripping cigarette love her and like figuring out what's going on with everybody. Like it would be between her and Lindsay. That's why they made that video and it was like the two of them walking. Yeah. And that was the joke. And the slowmo. Yeah. They would be unstoppable. Lindsay, when she's quote unquote activated, that's like the term. Because she goes like fucking crazy, is like, could take down, she, there's a video of her when there was a fight on summer house of her full blown grabbing Kyle from the back and manhandling him like a man. Like she takes his whole body and physically removes him from listen scenario. Now it's crazy. I mean it doesn't look hard to do. Now, now she's fucking crazy. And she like, whole ass, has a child now, and there's an iconic video of her being ex-boyfriend. He must have said like, can you make me a sandwich? And she's like, how many sandwiches have you made? Made? She's crazy. So yeah, they're just like, I love a character like that. Truly. It's clearly like a problematic character. Of course you do. what, Colleen, I saw a thing on Instagram that was like, really all this for a man that looks like a Keebler elf. I think Elf. Oh, it really does look like it. I mean, she, she's a beautiful girl. She's much more attractive than the two of them. Yeah. I also saw a thing that was like, but no one is more attractive than Sierra Miller. No. Like, I don't think on this planet. I completely agree. I think that there is, there was a video when, you know, before this all happened and Kyle was like, fucking up. Someone was like, really? You're gonna do that to a bitch with skinny arms and tits? Do you know what you have in front of you? Hey. And abs. That combo does not come along very often. I'm, I'm saying. I'm saying, well, yeah. I hope she gets super rich and famous now. Sierra. Yeah. See, did you see John Ham? Who's John Ham? You don't know who John Ham is. Is he the funny guy? What did I see? What, what do you mean he's the bad guy in bridesmaids? Was he on watch what Happens Live. Yes. And he was on What Happens Live. That's what, yep. We're on the same page. We are. He was at an award show of some kind or like a premiere. And it was the day that all the news came out. And so he was on the red carpet in Sierra Miller was on the carpet she says to him, Hey Johanna, how are you? They like exchange pleasantries. And he's like, how are you doing? And she looks dead in the camera and goes, I've been better. And then she turns back to him. And so when, when Andy asked him, he's like, now I understand her answer. Oh, he didn't know. Okay. Yeah. And also Team Sierra. We love John Ham. We love John Ham. I just said John Ham. John Ham. John Ham. Ha. I'm Pam. You will no longer be my number three As he drives away. He's so funny In bridesmaids. I can't anybody does that without laughing. Oh, I, I don't know how you stand across from my Rudolph and Chris and Wi and Melissa McCarthy in Rose Brine and not lose your fucking marbles like that. The thought of it has me giggling. Truly. I just don't know how anyone keeps a straight face like I would be in the production aspect of things. Mm-hmm. Like behind the camera. Mm-hmm. Scream laughing. No. How do those producers sit there and watch that? I don't know the camera guys. Like up in Melissa McCarthy's face while she's like, it's coming on me. Like, blah, blah. Like how Lauren, this is 40. When she's like, oh, when she's like, I will kick you in the teeth. And she's threatening Leslie man and Paul Rudd or the teacher, and they're both like, have you seen those outtakes so funny. They're the, if you need to laugh today, go look at the outtakes of Melissa McCarty and this is 40 and you're welcome. Yeah, I agree. Anyways, are you ready for the story of the day I was born? Ready? Are you ready for the tea? Yes. Okay. So picture this. It's early two thousands. Okay. 2003 specifically, if we really wanna get specific. Okay. So post nine 11. Okay. Post and geisha report. Hashtag There is a nine 11 segment. There's a nine 11 segment in this, but not in like a dark way. Hashtag Oh, this is so like light and fluffy and harmless. Like, everyone take a beater, take a beat. There's no death, there's no someone that's been missing, we've never been heard of again. But I, I have a few of those that are in the cannon. So like we just, were gonna sit this one in, sift it in, you know. Yeah. So it's 2003 and malls are fucking everything. To us to, oh, it's all we did. It's all we yearned for and strived for and dreamed of. Yeah. It's where you go to hang out. You flirt, you shop, you people watch it's pre-phone. It's, it's where the tea is. People are Kiki. It's the best placeholder. No, I once took a limo to the fucking mall. I would go to a mall food court in 2003 in an instant. A hundred percent. You were popping your pussy at Burlington Mall. And I was doing the same down at South Shore Plaza. And that was home. And that's, and that's where we grew up. That planet smoothie. That pizzeria Regina, let me tell you that Aunt Auntie Denny's, or whatever the fuck it's called. Annie's pretzels. Oh, it's smell real good. That cinnamon sugar. The Rainforest Cafe. Yeah. I didn't have that. That's'cause you're a looser. Okay, continue. Okay. But we had the Cheesecake Factory bitch. You also have that. We actually, we too. Bitch. You had that too. What did we have? You had nothing. Honestly, it's really terrible. Now, one time someone drove into the, the plaza, like, but like truly thought they were on the street and like they made it down through the ball. Like that's. Fucking crazy. That was a couple years ago. It was like an old confused woman and she like made it through. Oh, that's really sad. I mean, but either way, there's literally a picture of a security guard being like, and she's just surprised 10 and two in the mall, not 10 and two, has no idea. I think she thought she was in the garage. I have no fucking idea. Oh, the poor thing. That's awful. Things have definitely like taken a turn for the worst in terms of malls for sure. I don't know how the Burlington Mall is, but you mean the home of Paul Blair? Lar Malka. Oh, stay tuned. What the fuck is going on? I have a few Paul Blair references that movie slaps. I was like sexually attracted. I was like sexually attracted to him. I'm not kidding on the se, on the segue. Cease with the mustache. You need to be arrested. I felt so bad for him when he got a sugar low. I'm calling the police and he has to like find a pixie stick to like wake up Paul. This is getting outta hand. There's only so much a person can take. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. So anyways, malls are the move. Okay. Everyone's at the fucking mall. Understood. Understood. Cool. There's no phones. Okay. And in the middle of downtown Providence, Rhode Island, you have the Providence Place Mall. Mm-hmm. Have you been? Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, it's like massive. It has, it's nothing on our mall, I'll tell you. Okay. It's very chaotic, especially in the early two thousands. It's multiple levels. It has multiple connecting parking garages. Our grandparents were fucked. Oh, I know what this is. Yeah, I watched it. I've watched the fucking documentary. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. Can you just lemme have it. Sorry. Sorry. Continue. Did you watch it or no? I did not. Okay, cool it's like basically the way it's built is whack, essentially. Okay. Okay, cool. That's really all you need to know. It's like nothing makes sense the way it's built. Mostly because it's, there's a river there and there's train tracks and there's a highway. So it's like basically perfect. It's like smack dab in like a weird not triangle. Who fuck picked that? I, I literally dunno. So it was like a whole, like they talk about it in the documentary. If you wanna watch the I'm not going give it away, I'll give it away later. But when you watch the documentary on Netflix, it makes more sense visually as to why they put it there. And they have like a whole, like the times were tough in Providence during the early two thousands. And this happened, you know, some weird shit on that I don't care about, you know? Okay. But either way times were tough. So they thought this mall would help financially for the people. Of course. The best way to say, it's basically a maze disguised as a shopping center. Okay. Understood. Nothing on our mall, but like, who cares, which, if you're a curious artist with the tendency to wander and for, you know, a knack for new things, it's quite irresistible and intriguing us. We don't give a fuck this type of person. They're quaking. And they're creaming. Okay, great. And that's where the story begins, not the quaking and creaming, quaking and the cream. There's a lot of quaking and creaming in this season. Oh my God. So a treat. So enter Michael Townsend. Okay. Okay. Michael isn't just some random guy. He's part of this really tight knit creative community. Providence. It's filled with artists and like, not just artists, like think experimental art. They like push boundaries and like stick it to the man and whatever, you know, those types of artists, you know what I'm saying? Burn the bras. Yeah. Like let's, let's make a difference through art. Like Yeah. I'm, I'm not trying to like knock them down. I'm just saying that's you get the drinking the Kool-Aid. Yeah. So he and his friends are always like collaborating and making things and being like, what if we did this? What if we did that type of energy? I can't get my brain to go anywhere that far. So good for them. The main friends we were gonna talk about this are his pals, Adriana, Andrew, and Jay. Nothing else you need to know about them. There's, they're the four amigos. Okay. God bless you. The four, what you ever watch you never watched Jimmy Neutron as a child. They always say, no. Ami Car always says the Amigos. People get it. The Migos Amigos. Yeah. I think they were taking Spanish and it didn't, it didn't carry because it's Amigos. Yeah, Amigos. He's always like the three AMI ops. It's a thing. Just A key detail that matters in the story is a lot of these artists that he hangs out with, including his amigos, are. Have been displaced from their current community spot that they like to go to. Okay. Okay. It's this place called Fort Thunder. And Fort Thunder was basically this building that they used as a studio space in a certain section of Providence where they all lived. It's like a hub for creation. They have like concerts, they're like head banging and doing shit. I, I don't know, it's like a community center. And it basically got shut down for a development. At the same time the Providence Mall is being built. So developers come in hot and they wanna make like more shops in a grocery store because they think that's what the, the city of the community needs, right? Again, it's building the same time as the mall. So they're like, what the fuck? Fuck the mall. Fuck you guys. Fuck all y'all. No. Like these people were quaking. Oh wow. These people were ready to like burn it down. Oh wow. They're not happy. Oh, wow. Oh, okay. The artists were Quaker. Were Quaker, Quaker Oats. They were Quaker Oing. The artists were quaking and the developers just went about it all wrong. And they literally came in and were like, get the fuck out. Like, they did not be like, we stand with you. But you know, they didn't try at all. They just were like GTFO. We got the dollar dollar bill. Y'all get out. Yeah. So there's this underlying feeling of, you know, spaces are being taken from us, we're being controlled. Who actually gets to decide where we exist and what we do and how we do it and where we do it. I mean, amen. I mean, they were not happy, but the thing is that they, they have homes like this is just like their space to, hey, yeah, that's true. There's better, there's better things. Like just take a beat. I dunno. Just touch some grass. No, like once we get into the, you're gonna be like, okay, call your boy cousin. Yeah. So they have this idea one day, why don't we try to live in the mall that we hate so much for a week? Like a dare. It's like a, it's like a joke at first. So Adriana in the documentary, so this documentary is about obviously living in the fucking mall. And it's called like the Secret Mall apartment or something. It's on Netflix. It's cool. Honestly, I'm, I'm gonna be very straightforward with you. It is a good documentary. However, they really go way too much into the art. Like, I just wanted the tea and just Google it. Like, you get way more information from fucking Google than you do in this documentary. However, there is a positive upside to it. Like they do a lot of good in the community with the, with the art artistry. Okay. And I will talk about it. Okay. I will talk about it, but it's like 60% of the doc. I was like, no, I just wanna see how you bitches got caught, you know? Right, right. So at one point, Adriana in the doc is like, let's just see who can make it the longest. Like, they're thinking they're gonna try and do it for like a day and like security will get them. Like, who's the one that's gonna make it? Yeah. It's basically the joke. So one day Survivor of the mall kind of. Yes. And it's like, again, a massive built, it's like three floors and it's built wacky. Like, it's not like us going to, you know, our mall where it's like. Two floors. You can see it from one end to the other. It's something like that. Yeah. Hall. Hall. Yeah. Yeah. One day Michael and his friends, they're inside the mall just wandering about, and they start noticing something. A lot of doors, a lot of hallways, and a lot of spaces that don't seem to lead to anywhere obvious. So instead of ignoring it, they kind of lean into it. They start opening doors, they take random stairwells, and they follow corridors that feel like they, that shouldn't be public, but they aren't locked down either, which is strange. There's no people, there's no cameras. They are like, we shouldn't be back here, but like, yet we are. So they're basically fucking around. Mm-hmm. And eventually they find it, oh good god. They find this completely empty, hidden space inside the structure of the mall. It's not a store, it's not a marked storage room. It has this, it's like a weird architectural left leftover from like, it's like a corner piece, kind of almost like a triangle. Okay. It's like a pocket of space that was forgotten during construction and hasn't been touched since. Like it's dusty, it's unfinished. It's clearly not meant for anybody. There's no doors. And no one's been in it since the mall was built. Like they manifested it essentially. Yeah. But where can we do our art? And they just explore the fucking mall. Yeah. They talk about like the room of requirement. Yes. Just being found in your local fucking mall. Oh yeah. That's what just fucking wait. Oh God. So normal people would just be like, oh my God, this is weird and interesting. And then leave and never come back. But like, no, they see like this. Is it the opportunity? Yeah. Yeah. So at first it's kind of a joke. They're like, ha ha, like giggle. Imagine if we lived here. But the more they think about it, the more they're like, wait, that's not a joke. We like could actually do this. Like very like when I was in the third grade and I was like, we could have a book club. Like we can actually do this kind of thing. Like kinda illusory, honestly. Okay, baby Colleen catching strays because in their minds it wasn't just about like sneaking around and like getting away with something. It's very much like reclaiming space. Yeah. Sticking it to the man. It represents consumerism. Yeah. And they had something that meant so much to'em, taken away. So they're like, what the fuck can we do? Kind of, but not in a destructive way. Just more like a Yeah. Fuck you with people. I don't know. Yes, I totally get it. Honestly, it's giving drama in my opinion, but I also, I've never, no, I've never been passionate like that about anything. I don't, I don't think so. Like, I sick. Live your life. You know, like I, I'm not being, I'm really not trying to be a hater, but like, I think you guys are being a little dramatic. You can't live in a public mall. Like, that's fucking weird. Go home, you pay rent and have a mortgage. Go to it. Enjoy it. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they begin to occupy the space. They don't, they strictly just occupy it. They sit there, they hang out, they test how long they can be there without anyone noticing. And they pay attention to patterns. Like when security walks by, what areas are monitored, which ones aren't are, and how people move through the building. And they kind of study it like a system. They're like hooked now. They're like intrigued. So all while they're doing this, they are like doing teenage funny stuff too. Like they're hitting the food court, they're trying on clothes and doing like goofy shit. And they go to the movies like they're doing other things too. Mm. Crazy. Yeah, there's no crazy, and they're filming everything on shitty cameras.'cause again, yeah, of course. Like shitty, shitty can, I'm not, I'm not even talking a cannon, like, not like one of the handhelds. So yeah, in the documentary they have, it's like very terrible visibility, but there's plenty of photos and footage. If you wanna look it up, I can pull it up for you too as well. But once they realize that not one singular person is paying attention to the specific area, not one time, then it really escalates. Oh boy. They decide the squad, the four of them. Yeah, of course. Decide to build an apartment. Not metaphorically, physically, like I'm talking a whole ass home. What makes it even crazier is that they did it so slowly and it like intentionally so they didn't show up one day with like a U-Haul of shit being like we're moving in. They were smuggling it in like piece by piece. They started small and would carry stuff in a backpack with supplies. They would do like tuck things under their jacket and like enter the mall like normal. They'd walk through the mall like regular shoppers and blend in and then they would slip into their hidden space. That actually had like quite a few. There's a multitude of ways you could enter the space too because it of the way it's built, you can get in from, because it's a triangle outside through the garage there, like I'm talking like a foot, a foot, skinny space. They could get into this. Wow. It was crazy. That is crazy. So. It starts to transform over time. Okay. They bring in a couch that they buy at the Salvation Army. Mm-hmm. And they bring it through the garage. Yep. They bring in a coffee table. Lamps. Rugs, a dresser, and a giant wooden hutch, like a hutch of my dreams. They put in this space. Mind you, oh, and a giant kitchen table. First six. There's four of them. Why the fuck do you need a six person table for their visitors? Mind you, the location of this hidden room where they bring the stuff up is a giant ladder from taller than this room. So they're like silently carrying up a giant bureau, A giant couch up a, that's nuts. A straight ladder. Silently there. You know how the joke is? Like anyone who helps you move, you buy them like beer and pizza. Yeah. There is not enough beer and pizza. No. On this earth. It's fully straight up too. There's no slant. But imagine your friends calling you and being like, I need your help carrying this up a ladder. No, I don't even, I can't even go up a, I could never enter this space because I cannot go up a ladder. Stop. Why? I'm scared of heights. Okay. Same. I'm a grown adult. Oh. And I'm a foot taller than you bridge. If I was standing on your Christian thing, my legs would be shaking like I am. I cannot be on, I need to belong on the ground. That's like my one thing. Oh. Oh. Just that one. A mother belongs that mother. A bitch belongs on the ground. 10 toes down. Okay. Of course. So after they've set up their, can you see you on the first rung? Like crying, shaking like leaf. Sorry, continue. No, I couldn't. I couldn't do it. I thought about it. I watched this and said I couldn't, so they start hanging up artwork, like they clean it up. They make it quite literally homey. Like you would never know. This isn't a crawlspace of a mall. That's so wild. And they had fucking electricity. They had a PlayStation, they had a tv, they had a fucking waffle maker. Bridget, what the fuck? They around here making waffles in the back room at the mall. Is that not, is this like during daylight? Yeah, 24 7. That's the other part that shocks me. It's not even like an at night thing where they're sneaking around. No, they would go watch a movie and then take the popcorn and go in their crack house, another crack house. Their cracking the wall to their house. Sorry. Oh, to have access. There were no drugs to the mall at all times. And like security's not what it's, it used to be. So it's, yes, it's perfect. Yes. It couldn't have existed in any other timeline. And it's newer, so it's not like they're like. Equipped, but you know what I mean. There's no video of like, Hey, that person was coming out of that side of the wall the same time yesterday. Yeah. There was no, you know, I mean it was like, no, there was no cameras. So there was some, but like not in the spots that they were going, they had it like down, down lock. This is the only decade this ever could have happened in, correct? That's correct. They have like, so at this point they just like have like full hangout sessions. It was vibes with a hint of squatter, essentially. Yeah. Big time. Squatter. Hint. There was no outsiders at this point. Oh, they end up AEL in for more because Michael was like out in the community, like a very good artist. He was a teacher, I think he taught at like Rhode, Rhode Island school of like design or whatever it is. So he had his Core eight, there's eight of them. They each had keys. They're all in the documentary. And they decide that their home here needs a, a safer entrance, a true entrance, a front door if you will. They at this point have keys made to the door that enters this room. I just can't believe. A teacher at RISD is like, yep. Ahor What? Yes. Is hiding a mall. He's a character. He's a character. I'm a fan of him. We'll get into him. Okay. They, you obviously can't have an open doorway to your illegal mall apartment. Right. You can't just like, give that away. That's, they're correct. They're like, we gotta build a wall. One that we can just like push in. So they build a literal cinder block wall. Okay. Because there's, like I said, multiple entrances, but this is like the main entrance. So if they were to get caught, it'd be through this entrance. Okay. They go to Home Depot and they buy like 50 fucking cinder blocks and they transport them in. They are carrying cinder blocks into this building and do not get caught. They do have a mall security officer pull up to them at one point and they're like, what are you doing? Because the staircase that they're in, in the garage, when the security guard pulls up on their mobile car is a multiple level garage. The stairs that they're going in is you can access the other levels. So he quickly is like. No, we have, we bought these cinder blocks here at one of the stores.'cause it's a massive, I don't even know what store would even fucking sell them for real. We have too many now that we can't drive. So our friend is down below in a truck and we're bringing the cinder blocks to him to take smart and smart. The guy's like, all right, see ya. And he leaves and they proceed. They carry like 50 cinder blocks in. That's fucking fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy. And they seal off the entrance with concrete so that from the outside it looks like it's completely part of the building structure and is invisible. That's I, every new piece of information sends me to Mars. I am so perplexed by this group of people. So they come and they go, they hang out, they create, they sleep, they eat, they feel at home. They have like their sense of community back. They're happy they exist, but mostly they create, they create, create what? I don't fucking know. They exist in a space that really shouldn't exist at all. And how long do you think that this went on? I did see it when I looked up the picture. Well, not weeks, not months. Four years. Four years. Like when it just popped up when I was looking up that picture. I, I'm shook. I thought you were gonna be like eight months. That's entire high. That's an entire high school or college Yeah. Experience. But you're saying there's still, this is the why for me, if you still have to pay bills elsewhere, why, if that's for free. Hilarious. So like to them, like it's a movement. Like they're doing something. Yeah. I guess it's like bigger than them, but it's like, what are you proving to whom you should, why not just get a legal space where you can do your, do you know what I mean? Like the, they were like on a high, I told you were creamy and quaking. They were creamy and quaking for the fact that they not in the way that they're like, we're getting away with this. And we're like duping people. It was like, had nothing to do with that. It was very strange. Yeah, no, I get it. At one point Michael says, we're like a barnacle on a whale. Like he's, he can't be stopped. And that's the thing about them is that they're not like reckless. They're very careful. They're not trashing the place. They're not throwing parties. They're not drawing, yeah. They're not inviting 15 like people in, they're not bringing girls home. It's like, no, they're not drinking, they're not doing drugs. They're just literally kiking with their eight friends and making art or doing whatever they're doing, playing on their PlayStation pop off. And if anything, they probably treated their space that they have there, their makeshift space with more respect than actual tenants do in their actual apartments, which I can attest to. That's probably correct. And a reminder, these people aren't like hood limbs or criminals. They are just one thing that they do that is a portion, a portion of the documentary that I do appreciate is like when they're not there, like Kiking or like in their actual homes that they pay rent for, they're like out and about doing things. So there's a children's hospital in Providence that they would go and they would do tape art. And I know that sounds loosey, but basically what they would do is they would build and make murals. With colored tape that was like, looks like really cool though. But they would ask the, the child that was like, sick, the patient, like what they wanted and they would build it and, and incorporate the child into the wall. And the whole point is like when you're done with it, like, or if you don't want it anymore, it's, it's harmless. It's not real like it's tape. So you just take it down and you do it again. Yeah. So that's what they were doing during the day and they had all of them, all eight of them. So like, they would do that all the time. They were volunteering, like they were doing other things, but they would just hang out in this illegal space at the mall. I kind of love it. Another thing that they were doing that I did appreciate, I think it was like called like Project Hope or something, something like that. And this intertwines in the same timeline in which that they are illegally living in the mall. Right. But they, again, it's post nine 11, right? So they have a group of pictures of people that lost, that lost their lives in nine 11. It's a group of them and all around New York, they go to New York every, like, every couple of days or so. And they are doing their, their tape art. And they do a, a cutout of each person. Wow. That lost their lives. So it would be firefighter, it's clear as day a firefighter, they would do take something of the person's life. So you knew it was them and they would put it on various buildings all across the city and it would like come out to a, a path of a heart. So if you walked around that path, you would pass one every, like, every block or so. Oh my God. So they would do it all the time. And it just gave people like a sense of, if you look it up, it's still there, but obviously it's not there anymore'cause it's tape. But the whole point is like, we're not graffitiing like it's, it's. It's called a tape. Yeah. I never thought that nine 11 would truly come back. Yeah. Into the story, the, from earlier. I mean, we're, we're in at this point, I think it's like oh six, I mean, earlier I said never forget as a joke, but like hashtag never forget. That's like, so it was actually very like, heartwarming. So that's, it's also on like these people aren't hoodlums like they're Right, right. They're just normal people. Yeah. And at one point Michael gets asked in an interview, were you going to quit your other jobs for this? And he says, and I quote, yeah, we were lining up all of our finances and making it so that we never had to leave the property. We were kissing our loved ones goodbye. And being like, I'll see you at the mall. If you wanna hug, you have to come to the mall. We had started practicing ordering food from restaurants at the mall, especially salads, but ordering them as raw material, like asking for a carrot, a tomato, or a head of lettuce. So we were like, wait, we can grocery shop in the mall as well. So like, they're like thinking, thinking, thinking, wow, what's the next step? What's the bigger thing we can do? Like they can't just like, again, take a beat. Yeah. Yeah. They actually go see this guy.'cause they film everything. So that's why you see it all on the dock. They go see this guy at Pottery Barn inside of the mall because he's giving, he's also a artist, student, grad, whatever. And he got a job at Pottery Barn, making shadow boxes. It was like the thing that was the advertise like, come in, we'll make you a shadow box for like your knickknacks. So they're like, get one done, I don't know, to add to their home inside of the mall. Oh my God. And he, they figure out, he is like a fellow artist. They're kind of like kiking. And they legit tell him about the hidden space. And he's like, what? And he's like, wait, no look, let me like, take me back sometime. And they're like, like he's asking questions like, how do you think I can get mail sent here? Like, do you think that's possible? From one artist to the other. I guess they trusted him. I don't know. But the guy was like, it was crazy. I was like, I didn't believe that first. Oh, I imagine someone saying that to you. I've been living here in the mall. And he literally was like, between us, it's on film. You can watch the whole thing. But he's cool. He doesn't say anything to be honest. Like, he just is like, all right, see you soon. Travel across path. You're living here. I'll see you the next time I have to go to. He's like, you think there's a place in the building where I could pay to shower? Is literally what he asked. Oh my God. And he's like, so no, but he's like, I could probably find out though, like how.you even answer that. I'll see you at filing's basement. Oh my God. RIP filing's basement off the rip. But you know, nothing lasts forever. Right? Because even with all that care, these small things do start to add up. And in 2007, oh my god, so much time they have a break-in Oh, to the mall or to their home? Their home. They have a break-in. It was, I don't know how they, it doesn't say how they figured out that this is who broke in because they don't have cameras and they don't, you know what I mean? Like how did they, how did you know? But I think they were told after the fact. It's two security guards and they were like 20, like very mini Paul Blart. Got it. And I think that they were just like exploring, like they were just getting the lay of the land similar to how the, the two of them did. Maybe they didn't wanna work and they were just fucking around. Yeah. And they're like, that's weird. Why is this door locked? And they break down the door. Oh my God. The way I would be pissing myself. Imagine you walk into a fully set room, like table personal items. They have ar they have pictures of themselves on the counter, like frame photos. No, I would lose my fucking mind. I would think I was in some, I'd be like, what drugs did we take? Imagine clocking into your shift and ending up in someone's living room at the mall at, in the fucking bowels of the mall. And they actually, they leave. And the squad comes in and they, they realize something's off. I think the door was a jar. Oh, it's broken. They busted it down. Yeah. So that's how they figured it out. Yeah. And they're like, what the fuck? And they actually they find out that those two officers didn't do anything but they used the space. They were like using the PlayStation. I think they, I think they like ate a meal. Like they were like, Hey, oh squad. But they did take some stuff towards the end. So like they took a photo of them. Oh yeah. And they took the PlayStation. Oh. But Michael was saying in the documentary they had, that gives you a record.'cause it shows you what days we played and what times. Ah so that's what that happens. It's time to GTFO. Yeah. No, you think they would think that They don't. They do. You know, they're like, okay, let's ease up on the daytime visits. Because we can still seek in at night, but they're not here at night, so like, it's not a big deal. So one day Michael has a friend visiting and he gets a little greedy and he's like, let me show you my cool space, eh, you know, and he's like, fuck the rules, I'll go in during the day anyways. And so he goes in and he, he shows this girl the room, like trying to flex on his little hole in the wall. And you know, the big, the big guns, the big pulp Lars come busting through and they're like, ready for him? We've been expecting you kind of thing. Yeah. Michael's identified and confirmed to be the man's in charge and he's arrested. But here's the whole thing. It doesn't turn into some like huge dramatic legal battle. People are actually like Elling. No, that's what I mean. It's a victimless crime. It's like hilarious in the mall. Looks fucking stupid. Like I, what do you even charge them with? So the charges are all dropped, but he does get probation and he's banned from the mall naturally. Like, but what were the charges? I think it was like. Trespassing, I think. Oh yeah. Illegal trespassing. Yeah. Fair. But also, he never names the other seven members at all. Oh, he just says it's him. They have the picture, but they're like, we don't really, like, we're gonna seek these people out. Like, it's fine. They have him. Oh, so he took the fall for everybody. Yeah. But they, the first time that they ever come forward is for this documentary. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Artists really keep it on lock. They're loyal. Okay. Loyal to the soil. Uhhuh, Mr. Man's. Michael's only regret though, is getting caught too soon. He said he had really big plans. He had wood floors on the way he was gonna put in a bathroom and a livable bedroom with running water, a home, a build a home inside of a mall. Why wasn't he charged? Might you ask? Because Yes, this was technically trespassing as mentioned, but it wasn't violent. It wasn't destructive, and honestly it was like. To hit them. Like a blurred line of like art and crim, like, crim, like how what they've been doing this whole time, they've been teetering on every line. Right. It's vandalism, but it's not'cause it's, I'm not, it's not permanent. Just take it off. Yeah. Like yeah, they stole some electricity, whatever. And that's like truly what makes it so wild. Just'cause it's so fucking funny. It's insane. It's insane. And the fact that they went undetected for four full years, that is so long. That's my entire high school experience. That's so much time. But the whole point for them was like, oh, you kicked us out of our places. So now you have to, to make something out of like an underdeveloped space. Well, this is us doing the same thing. I'm making something out of an underdeveloped space. Yes. So they're basically like, the call is coming from inside the house like you guys are. That's correct. You guys are contradicting yourselves. Correct. You're like, you kick us out of ours. You know, you need to make use off use of the space what we do too, bitch. So it's just the question like, is it genius? Is it unhinged? Is it art? Is it a prank? Like truly it's all of the things. But I will say the level of commitment is much appreciated. And the fact that they pulled it off for four years without anyone noticing is absolutely terrifying. Wow. Like next time you're in a mall, just be like, what's going on behind that wall? Yeah. What's happening behind the walls? Wait. Okay. What documentary is it called? Oh my God. Am I Okay. Mall apartment. Do you want me to look it up? I think it's called Mall. Apartment something. Mall Apartment. But I was thinking about it. Imagine if that happened today. One that obviously couldn't, two people, social media and iPhones. It would be like day 112. Oh. The way they're on to us? Yeah. The way influencers would be thirst trapping inside the hole in the wall. Yeah. Secret Mall apartment. Secret Mall apartment. Yes. It came out 2025. Indeed it did on Netflix. That's great. Wow. What a good story. I loved it. Yeah. That's the good story of Sweet Michael Townsend in a secret mall apartment. Do you think you would do that? No. You don't? I like, I like running water, not having to seek out my food and to be clean. Yeah. But if you're only going at night to Kiki, I don't want Kiki at night. I. I'm okay grandma. Like I don't wanna do that. Oh my God. Can I tell you what I've started doing? What? So I realized that I, what I love about the morning is that I became a morning routine person. Mm-hmm. And you know, I play my little puzzle and then I pour myself a little Celsius and then in bed I do all my things. And I started to like mornings'cause I had this little process. Mm-hmm. And I was like, what if I gave myself one at night? But I realized that I really like a beverage. I now take sleepy time tea. Okay. It's the best thing ever really. To get to shower off the day. Pat down. I shower in the dark now'cause I have a little light lamp when it's dark. So the shower is such a vibe. It's such an ambiance. And then I listen to like a wind down meditation podcast. I do some stretches. Then I have my little sleepy time tea and I go to bed like a normal person at a normal hour and I don't scroll up my phone for three hours. That's so nice. Bridget. I'm really happy to hear that you have, I want you to change your tone immediately before I kick you in the throat. No, I'm, I am happy for you. It's stunningly beautiful. I hear you. Okay. Okay. I hear you. I stand with you. I made myself a gorgeous home-cooked meal the other night after putting my laundry away and my kitchen was clean. I cleaned the kitchen after and I was like, what you make, I'm gonna make some sleepy time tea. I mean, whatever helps you get, get through the day, whatever. Dude, Colleen. It was euphoric. I'm telling you, getting older is amazing. Okay. I'll circle back then. I never wanna even say you should see the disgust. Gut is amazing. She's looking at me in disgust. I know my bitches know. My bitches know what I'm talking about. I'm not hating on your routine at all. It's just, I wanna know the, the, the elder bitches. I don't care what age you, you are. Why don't you take magnesium? Huh? Why don't you take magnesium before bed? I feel like you would like that. Don't tell me what to do. I dunno. Listen bitch. You wanna talk about relaxation and finding peace. It relaxes your muscles, bitch. And it helps you find peace. I'm getting screamed. Bitch. You don't say too much, you'll shut your pants'cause it loosens your asshole. Oh my God. That happened to me once my friend gave me the wrong measurement. Oh my god, Colleen. Yeah. I was living at home too. My mom couldn't stop laughing. I was like, literally water's coming outta my ass because it drains all the water from your body. So I was literally had water coming outta my ass. Any who? I don't take magnesium. You should though, but I just like a little hot little beverage to wind down and then I have a lilac spray. It's like a pillow. I don't know. I'm just really vibing with the going to bed. Okay. I think I need a full Ebenezer a fit. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be, that'd be nice because I don't, I have, do you shirts a nightgown as well. Don't look at me like that. And disgust in like a hair clip bonnet situation. Like what would you like? Okay. I may get a bon bonnet because my hair gets so oily at night. Yeah. It's prefer and I wanna save it. You're supposed to keep it tame. Yeah, that's what I want. I want it to, to be ready to rumble when I wake up in the morning and not have to dry shampoo it to the death before I go to bed. But I do think I need one of those like big Kmart sleep dresses. Oh yeah. You can get one of Kohl's get one on Amazon. Yeah. Yep. Well, if anyone has any recommendations to up my My sleep routine, let me know. Colleen is being judgmental or don't, you know, whatever. Your Honor, I'd like to treat the witness as hostile motion denied. Anyway that was a lovely story. That was really fun and victimless and so cute. Yeah, they're far few and far between, so You're welcome. You're literally so welcome. You know, when everyone go find your p lar, I can't wait for the triple homicide I'm gonna hit you with next episode. No, please don't. I really liked that. I'll try, I'll try my best. I mean, I hit you with Shayna Hubers. Yeah. That was whatever that was. She murdered her boyfriend. Yeah, but whatever. But IJ call it she's just unwell. Yeah. Jesus Christ. It was someone died, someone innocent died. Yeah. It's horrible. But like she was crazy. Yeah. It's not one of the horrific, like we've covered some real fucking doozies on the show. Mm. Yeah. You gotta, the, the people that go without a trace. The big old doozies need to be spread out. I love the ones where it's like, what happened? Those are my favorite ones that keep me up at night. I've been listening to, I've been watching a couple good ones. So you like to be kept up at night? Yeah, a little bit. I like to think about things. Is that when it all happens, is that when the magic happens? Is that the end of the day? Mm-hmm. Wow. A lot of things cook up there. You should see my notes app. That's when it comes out. Oh, that's the notes app? Mm-hmm. Usually, yeah. Wow. That's that. Okay. Yeah. I looked at my phone today and I had 50 text messages. Me and Erin are perfect. I dunno what you're talking about. All right everyone. Well have a good rest of your week. Hello Spring. Spring has sprung. April showers. Bring May flowers, and we're fucking ready for it. I'm ready for some sandals. Okay. Love you mean it. Love you mean it. Goodbye. I'm for the day. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Speaker 1:22:00

Shannon's. for sippin with the Shannon's. This

Speaker 9 1:22:08

podcast was produced by me, Bridget Shannon. Music is written and performed by Matt Derosiers. You can find his band, Super Stoker, anywhere you listen to music.